“Singing, playing instruments, or reciting verse—those talents are far too common. Boring, really. This young lady won’t follow the herd, and I have no intention of stooping to perform them.” The pale-blue-haired girl onstage flicked the hair by her ear and posed with a look that said she couldn’t be bothered.

The moment she said it, she hooked every spectator’s curiosity. They were all dying to know what kind of strange act this uniquely styled, proud, willful blue-haired young lady would unveil. In this pageant, his style was the most out of step—drawing plenty of attention.

Then, once she had the full focus of audience and Judges alike, Vinny cleared his throat, coughed twice, and, in a crisp, high-pitched female register, enunciated each word.

“Ahem! Therefore, this young lady has decided to present an extremely unique talent—something absolutely no one else could possibly perform!” Vinny kept ratcheting expectations higher for the audience and the Judges.

And under everyone’s expectant gaze, Vinny announced the talent he was about to perform.

“Listen up. Since we’re performing talents, we can’t violate the underlying logic of ‘performing a talent.’ And what is that underlying logic? I trust you all understand: the essence of talent, at root, is to please the audience. So we return to the origin—the fundamental purpose of talent is to make everyone happy, not anything else. Otherwise, we’ve put the cart before the horse.” Arms folded, Vinny launched into his monologue onstage.

This wasn’t some wild fabrication. If you’re going to lie, it has to be half-true at least—and you have to believe it yourself, or how will anyone else believe it??

While question marks floated over everyone’s heads and no one could guess what he’d do next, Vinny opened his half-lidded eyes, nodded like a man making perfect sense, and concluded:

“Mm. The talent this young lady will praise is meant to let you all experience the foundation and original intent of ‘performing talent.’”

“That’s right—many of you must have guessed what this young lady is about to perform, yes?”

“This young lady’s talent has no use for those vulgar instruments. Therefore, the talent I’ll be performing is—telling deadpan jokes!” The pale-blue-haired girl’s tone surged, like a variety show unveiling its final answer.

Upon hearing what Vinny would perform, not only did the audience and Judges go stone silent; even the contestants’ lounge behind him fell into a long, mute lull.

Pinned by so many silent, inscrutable stares, even Vinny felt a jab of awkwardness and embarrassment. He bristled on the spot, planted hands on hips, and challenged the crowd.

“W-what? Why’d you all clam up?? Hey, what’s that supposed to mean? Are you dissatisfied with this young lady, or with the talent this young lady’s performing??”

Watching the pale-blue-haired girl interrogate the audience, Alaia in the lounge felt equal parts irked and «N.o.v.e.l.i.g.h.t» amused. Amused, because she could mock this country bumpkin’s ridiculous display; irked, because she’d been “styled on” by this very person and utterly beaten.

So the blue-hair had “something,” did she? Turns out she’s too dumb to perform any talent at all—and came up with a clumsy excuse.

Alaia gloated. She’d thought this opponent would be a headache and might open a huge lead in total score. Now it looked like she’d simply underperformed earlier; this blue-haired country girl wouldn’t be taking the crown after all.

That would do. Watching that stinky blue-hair win would hurt more than being eliminated outright.

After a long hush in the audience, a lone shout burst out.

“Ahhh! Lady Vinnia is so cute—this reaction is too adorable! All right, all right, I want to hear Lady Vinnia tell jokes! Not just one deadpan joke—ten, a hundred, a thousand deadpan jokes! Let me be killed by Lady Vinnia’s coldness and I’ll die happy!!” The same male student Vinny had singled out earlier howled up at the stage like a fever.

Mm. In the quiet hall and stands, his was the only voice.

Even Vinny onstage was startled. He involuntarily took a step back, sweat beading.

Buddy, you good? Should we get you a therapist??

Vinny wiped a palm.

[Virtue +60.]

[Current Virtue: 11384.]

…Why again??

Whoever’s secretly ticking my Virtue—who are you? I’ve put up with you for so long! Stop popping out to spook me, okay??

“Hey! You people are being way too stingy with face, aren’t you?” Vinny snapped—though thanks to the voice disguise, the scoundrel’s bark came out as a coquettish complaint.

Question: if the capital’s scoundrel flips gender, what does he become? Answer: a villainous heiress.

“This young lady’s said so much up here to make you laugh—why so silent? Give me something! What do you mean, not a single clap??” The pale-blue-haired girl kept huffing at the crowd.

[Virtue +30.]

[Current Virtue: 11414.]

Before she even finished, Virtue ticked up again.

Mm. The audience reaction was missing, but the Virtue reaction was… robust.

Wait.

A thought flashed through Vinny’s mind. Could it be that his taking the stage to perform counted as a “charitable act,” akin to driving back a Demon Pillar—and so it could boost Virtue??

Was that it??

Vinny didn’t know, but he preferred that answer—because if not, then the implications were big enough he didn’t want to imagine them.

“I say, Judge sir—there isn’t any rule against a ‘jokes’ performance as a talent, is there?” Vinny planted hands on hips and lifted his chin.

“Ahem. Vinnia’s talent is a bit unconventional, but it’s acceptable. Please begin,” one Judge smoothed things over.

“Very well. Ahem, I’ll begin. Advance warning: this young lady’s jokes are hilarious. Brace yourselves—don’t end up laughing till your fronts touch your backs!” Vinny hummed, full of confidence.

“Do you know why penguins’ backs are black and their bellies are white?” Vinny asked, all mystery.

No one answered. Silence. Side-glances.

“Haha, you don’t know, do you? The answer is—their arms are too short to reach their backs, so they can only wash the front, not the back. Hahahahaha! Well? Isn’t this young lady’s joke funny?” Vinny cracked himself up—and only after laughing a good while did he realize his was the only laugh in the hall. Everyone else stayed mute, staring at him with every kind of look.

“Hahahaha! So interesting! As expected of Lady Vinnia—even her jokes have her unique flavor. Ahh, I’m in love!” Of course, there were a few hype-men and diehard fans.

Vinny’s expression froze. He puffed his cheeks; like an angry blue octopus, he clenched his fists and pouted down at the stands. “Hey, hey—what’s that supposed to mean? Not a peep? What—this young lady’s deadpan wasn’t funny at all??”

After that, someone—no one knew who—started clapping. The audience and Judges shook off the awkwardness, and a measured applause crept in and grew.

“What even is…?” In the seats, Fudi stared at the pale-blue-haired girl onstage, lost in thought.

No. Very not right. This feeling—it was so much like little brother Vinny!

No—maybe just the way of talking was similar. Everything else was actually…

Okay, why does the hair color match too, huh??

No, no. Must all be coincidences. He knew exactly what little brother Vinny looked like—there was no way he’d transform into such a beautiful, bewitching blue-haired girl.

Fudi kept consoling himself.

“Tch! You all… fine, fine! To dare treat this young lady like that—just you wait. I’ll bring out my funniest joke!” Vinny locked in, annoyed.

“Right—this time, I’ll have you laughing till your fronts touch your backs!” He cleared his throat. “Listen up!”

“This one’s a riddle—listen carefully. A little nut walks into a bar. What does it turn into?” Arms folded, Vinny posed it.

No one could get this one.

“Uh… a drunk nut?” The same diehard hype-man ventured his answer.

“Wrong, wrong. What kind of answer is that? Too simple, too lazy.” Vinny shut his eyes and wagged a finger with fake profundity.

“Then, Lady Vinnia—what is the answer?” the hype-man asked, brimming with emotional investment, face pleading for the reveal.

“Heh-heh~ The answer is—it turns into a white-haired nutball.” Vinny crossed his arms and huffed.

“Eh?” No one had expected that. Curiosity piqued, the crowd stared up at the pale-blue-haired girl, waiting for her explanation.

“Want to know why? Heh—of course you can’t guess. Let me decode it! Because a nut has to roll to move—no hands, no feet. And that nutball’s too short; once inside the bar it can’t reach the counter to order a drink, so it can only stand there. And then… over time, it gets damp—mold grows white! Hahahaha!” Apparently, this deadpan-riddle really tickled him; Vinny was laughing so hard onstage his shoulders shook.

He didn’t notice a tiny change in his Virtue.

[Virtue +90.]

[Current Virtue: 11504.]

“……” The hall stayed silent. Aside from a minority, no one had gotten the punch line. Where was the funny?

Still, Vinny did set a vibe. Quite a few people ended up cringing into laughs and, like it or not, joined the merriment—thinking this blue-haired girl was truly unique, her style unmistakably her own.

Then his performance time ended, and he stepped down.

They moved on to the total-score phase.

There could be only one winner.

Vinny’s self-introduction and duel had both been excellent, hauling in big points. As for the final talent segment—though lacking technique, it was weird enough, singular enough, with crystal-clear personal style.

There was nothing else he could do—he really couldn’t do anything, okay?? He couldn’t just conjure a talent on the spot.

If he could even whistle a tune, he’d have gone up and whistled. That’d count as music at least, right??

Though the “talent” part had him by the throat, the “show effect” part he truly had in the palm of his hand. It was the best he could do.

Waiting in the lounge, Vinny looked calm and felt anything but. He’d already overperformed—and had cross-dressed, in public, to this degree of humiliation. If he lost, wouldn’t that be a massive L??

Then again, losing made sense. Some folks might enjoy a pretty girl doing antics, but most probably preferred gentle, understanding girls with real talents, right??

Sure enough, when all contestants were called back onstage for the results, the Judges’ and audience’s selection named Liz as number one.

Hearing it, Vinny sighed, covered his face, and gave his head a small shake.

Lost. Completely lost!

Aesphyra, just you wait. Just you wait!

Still, a loss was a loss. Vinny had no particular complaint; he thought Liz was great and deserved the prize.

And then—the scene flipped.

“Pardon, everyone—please wait a moment.” A staffer abruptly came onstage, murmured something at the host’s ear. The host knew: in an event like this, without an emergency, staff wouldn’t be whispering to him in public.

After that, he coughed into the mic and indicated the awards would proceed.

“Apologies—earlier, the total-score sheet was handed up before the tally had actually finished. The result was incomplete. After finalizing the count, we’ve found one contestant whose votes surpassed Liz’s, becoming the true first place in this Carillian pageant.”

Everyone stared at each other in shock, wondering who had edged out Liz.

Vinny was curious too, eyes roaming.

“Once the final tally was in, that singular contestant’s score just exceeded Contestant Liz’s—becoming the true beauty champion. That’s right—here and now I announce: the champion of the Carillian Academy’s First Beauty Pageant is—”

“Contestant Eighteen—Lady Vinnia!” As the host spoke, a swarm of spotlights blasted down onto Vinny’s thoroughly bewildered face.

Source: Webnovel.com, updated by NovelKeep