Chapter 173

<Seras Ashrain POV>

It was late in the night—–

I was sitting on the edge of the bed as I said my prayers.

(Princess, may the fortunes of war be with you……)

Clutched in my hand is the necklace that Princess Cattleya handed towards me on the day I parted ways with her.

Touka, who was already lying down on the bed, called out from behind me.

[As I thought, you’re really worried about them huh?]

[Yeah. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t worried about her.

I wryly smile.

[However, the Princess also had the Holy Knights with her. I’m sure that they’ll be able to protect the princess.]

[You really trust them huh.]

[The Princess has her own paths to take—- and I have my own. For now, we just have to trust each other’s paths and move on.]

[……You’ve already finished parting ways with her?]

[Yes. If we hadn’t said our farewells with each other back then…… I don’t know if I would have been as calm as I am now.]

Standing up, I walk towards the door.

[Excuse me, I need to use the facilities.]

[You don’t have to give up on one thing just to have another.]

[Fufu, you may be right.]

Leaving behind a wry smile, I left the room.

▽

A few distance down the hallway, I found myself stopping as I gently placed my hand over my chest.

[————————-]

(Princess……)

An intense feeling of being tightened swirled in my chest.

Well…… There was no way I could be at peace.

With the hand held in front of my chest, I could feel the necklace that Cattleya handed to me that day.

We have already finished saying our farewells.

That’s what I said to Touka.

However, not only the Bakuos soldiers—- There’s also the Five Dragon Warriors drawing near at that time.

We don’t even have any time to be sad that we would be separated for a really long time—-

(That day……)

The last words that Cattleya said just as she helped me escape.

“Isn’t it enough that the days we spent together and the memories of those days are irreplaceable? Well then, I bid you goodbye.”

Even though she’s the one who’s going to stay in a place like this where she might die…

Filled with confidence in her small smile, she said those words to me.

However, I could only——

(I couldn’t say goodbye like I wanted to……)

[………………………]

Neia’s army, led by Cattleya herself, is going to enter the war.

When I heard that from Erika, I’m internally feeling upset.

I’ve already expected that they would be demanded to raise an army.

However, I never thought that it would turn into a battle to take back our country……

I didn’t see that coming.

It’s true that the odds weren’t in their favor.

My evaluation on Cattleya shouldn’t be mistaken.

However, that evaluation should only amount to half of what Cattleya should be.

(She also had the audacity to place her bet on something that “she doesn’t have any choice but to take”. And of course…… The princess is willing to risk even her own life if she finds it necessary……)

Will Cattleya make it through this war?

Taking Neia back from the hands of Bakuos……

Yes—- This battle is also a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for Neia.

(On the contrary though, if they were to miss this opportunity, I don’t know when they will get the next one……)

Cattleya must have felt that she doesn’t have any choice but to take this opportunity.

Cattleya and I grew up together as if we were biological sisters.

I wonder if that’s why……

I felt like I could see her thoughts and her determination as if it was placed in the palm of my hand.

(However, I can’t run towards her side. Therefore, please…… Please stay safe……)

I am now the knight devoting my sword to Touka Mimori……

I’ve been entrusted with being the Deputy Leader of the Fly King Squadron.

And I will fulfill this responsibility that was entrusted towards me.

(That’s right…..)

I must also make sure that Touka doesn’t suspect a thing.

He’s surprisingly quite perceptive.

(That’s why——)

From now on, I’ll have to be more vigilant in keeping this under wraps.

I don’t want to make him feel any more worried.

I pledged—– that I will devote my life to him.

This life will be used to accomplish his goals.

That’s why this confusion…

This uneasiness…

This… emotions…

I will bury them deep within my heart.

(……Although I did make a mistake once when I let my emotions get the better of me.)

However, it was just a one-time thing.

(Yes, my emotions…… I’ll just convey them after Touka-dono’s journey is finished. Until then, as his faithful knight…… With this sword—–)

I will kill this self.

That’s what it means to serve someone.

I must not become a hindrance for his purpose.

Yes, until he accomplish his revenge to the Goddess—–

[…………………]

(The Goddess……)

Was that idea of Neia’s independence suggested by the Goddess?

(Supposing that the Goddess deceived the Princess…… And if something were to happen to the Princess as a result of that—–)

I would surely never be able to forgive the Goddess for all my life.

Once again, I could only offer a deep prayer.

[………………….]

When Touka accomplishes his goal, if only the both of them were fortunate enough to safely stay alive……

(At that time—–)

I want to meet her again.

The Princess.

When I pledged so within my heart, I found my grip unto my necklace tightening again.

[Seras.]

(Eh……?)

My heart skipped a beat.

Before I knew it, a few distance behind me…

[……Touka-dono.]

Touka was standing there.

[Is there something you need assistance with?]

[I was just wondering if you’re alright.]

[……………]

I make sure to compose myself.

In my head, I start assembling the words I need to say.

[You’re checking if I’m alright, is it? I admit that I’m a bit shaken upon hearing that news about Neia. However……]

Slowly, I put away the necklace I held in front of my chest.

[I’m alright now.]

Striving to keep my calm, I said.

[Regardless of the outcome of this battle, the Princess will surely take back Neia one day. Moreover…… Didn’t I tell you already? I am now your knight—- a knight who already died once before. I will not look back to my past anymore. Now…… I will use my power all for your sake.]

[All for my sake huh——- Is that really the truth though?]

My lie was seen through.

I realized that.

——-Badump——–

[My…… My apologies. As expected, when I heard of the Holy Kingdom of Neia where I once lived…… I admit that I might be influenced by my past emotions. However, please be relieved…… I will—-]

[That’s enough.]

[Eh, umm…… Touka-dono……?]

I could tell that Touka is approaching based on the sound of his footsteps.

I could also tell that he’s quite irritated.

There’s no lie in his words.

Touka was genuinely irritated.

It was also the first emotion that he ever directed towards me.

—–I could feel my heart beating faster.

Touka stops right behind me.

[If that’s really the case—–]

I close down my eyes.

[………………………]

[What the heck are you crying for?]

[……,———Eh?]

I just noticed it.

Looking at the floor with my blurry vision, a lot of teardrops have gathered……

When did this happen?

Before I knew it, I’ve already had ——

<img /wp-content/uploads/2019/12/12-5.jpg?resize=737%2C1024&ssl=1″ class=”img-responsive”>

—-been crying all this time?

My voice shouldn’t have trembled before……

My body should have already stopped trembling.

Suddenly…

Pat

I could feel Touka’s hand placed on my head.

[————-Ah.]

[I’m sorry…… but you’re not the only one who could see through lies.]

[Touka-dono……?]

[Say, Seras.]

[W- What is it—-]

Towards my quivering response, He responded sounding like he comprehended something.

[As I thought, you’re really weird.]

[Eh?]

[I’ve never experienced that feeling of irritation towards someone before, not even towards my Aunt.]

(His aunt……?)

[This feeling…… This is honestly the first time I’ve felt it ever since the day I was born.]

I did say he sounded irritated before.

However, the irritation in Touka’s voice has already disappeared.

Instead, there was gentleness in his voice.

And a bit of bewilderment.

I feel like he himself was surprised by his emotions.

[Thereupon, Seras.]

[W- What is it……]

[You need to stop holding yourself back—– It’s fine for you to stay selfish once in a while.]

[———,……Eh?]

[That promise you said that one time that you would do anything I said…… You must have forgotten about it huh.]

[U- Umm…… Touka-dono? What did you just……]

[You…… You really must have wanted to help her, right? To become that Princess’s strength…… However, you won’t say that you want to help her. No…… You probably can’t, right?]

[—————-]

This… won’t do.

This won’t do at all.

[N- No…… I—-]

[Back when we were having dinner, Erika and the others were there, so I didn’t point it out towards them but…… You’re so obvious, you know?]

[Eh—–]

[It’s easy to see how important that “Princess” is to Seras, I could tell that just by looking at you until now. You know, you have said before that I look different when I talk about my Uncle and his family but……]

Touka began barraging me with words, one sentence after another.

[Those times when you talk about that “Princess”…… Do you know what face you’re making at those times?]

[The face I’m making…… is it?]

[That face you’re making towards that “Princess”, the person who would set out on a battlefield in which you wouldn’t know if she could even survive…… It would be unreasonable for your emotions not to get disarrayed.]

[T- That is……]

[I’m grateful that you’re trying to suppress these varying emotions of yours while working with me, as you’re really aware that you are my “sword”. However, suppressing your feelings even towards someone you really care about…… That’s wrong.]

I could feel my face scrunching up as I somehow tried to weave the words that I needed to reply.

I somehow tried to pick up words to speak.

[——-Touka-dono, the Princess and I…… already…… properly finished our farewells……]

[You’re wrong.]

[Eh?]

[If you really finished giving her a proper farewell, you’re going to have to look a lot nicer than you are now. Well…… You still have a lot of things to learn in acting, Seras.]

I clench my teeth.

I, at least, tried—– to hold back these tears, but I couldn’t stop weeping.

My mind wouldn’t stop overflowing with questions.

Why—

Why is he…

—-this is too much for me…

……Someone may be watching us.

[I think I know how painful it is, not being able to properly say your farewells.]

A proper farewell.

I could only gasp in surprise.

———Ah, I see.

That’s what it means.

The people important to him.

He also wasn’t able to finish saying any proper farewells towards them.

[If you want to continue to serve as my “sword” as you swore…… That in itself is fine. However…… I think it’s still not too late to properly say your goodbyes to that Princess, right?]

[However…]

[I got all of these information out from Erika after we ate. Princess Cattleya’s army still haven’t been incorporated in the Southern army yet, and they still haven’t genuinely joined in the battle.]

[!]

[It seems that they were initially moving along with the others… But it appears that the Great Demon Emperor’s army that was currently invading the south, compared to the other armies in the east and west, will still have some time before their main forces confront each other. Moreover…… I heard that there are lots of mercenaries taking part in this war. In that case, I think we could slip into the Southern Army under the guise of mercenaries.]

[Touka-dono…… Really……? Are we really going into that battlefield against the Great Demon Emperor’s army…… No, h- however…… We’re deep into the Demon Zone……]

[You do know that we just broke through the monsters when we entered the Demon Zone, right? In that case……]

Touka is now behind me.

And yet, in my mind, it feels like I could clearly see that wicked smile on his face.

[Wouldn’t it be really strange if we can’t even get out ourselves?]

[I think…. Ummm—–……………..]

[I’ll tell you what, Seras. I’ll have you know that you……]

Touka placed his hands on my shoulders.

[You’re very good at seeing through lies…… but you’re not very good at telling them.]

[I…]

[You don’t have to deceive yourself so much that you’re ending up killing yourself.]

“Fuuunnn…” Touka snorted.

[The second that you think you can hide it from me, you’ve already lost.]

[——————-]

As if something that’s been held back was finally released—– I could feel it running throughout my body.

……It seems that there’s no point in hiding it anymore.

I feel like I can’t hide anything in front of him right now.

He will probably have an answer for every doubt in my heart.

[You want to lend your strength to the Princess. And at the very least, you also wanted to properly say your farewells. That’s…… what you wished for, right?]

Tears were streaming down my cheeks as I continued sobbing.

I tried wiping them away with both of my hands.

However—- The tears just continuously increase.

I wipe and wipe…

They’re ceaselessly overflowing, along with these emotions that violently shake me.

[Yes…… Yes, Touka-dono……,————–]

I felt some strength coming from the hands placed on my shoulders.

[That’s fine.]

Touka removes the hands he placed on my shoulders.

[Let’s go.]

He walked past me.

And then, as he stepped in front of me—– He said behind his back.

[We need to prepare for war.]

As if I’ve already forgotten how to stop them, my tears kept on flowing down as I gave him the brightest smile I got, and I responded behind his back.

[Yes—— Yes, My Lord Touka-dono……]

[One more thing.]

Turning his head towards me, Touka said.

However, it feels like those deep dark eyes weren’t looking at me, but towards a wall somewhere to the side.

[If the situation were to turn really favorable……]

His jet-black eyes, devoid of warmth—- weren’t looking at this place, but gazing somewhere into the distant darkness.

[There are some people I’d like to crush, so slightly making use of this opportunity wouldn’t hurt a bit, right?]

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