Ten minutes later, after Wiz had finished introducing all the magic items in her shop, everyone—apart from Shichen—sat down in awkward silence.

Satou Kazuma: “What’s with this place, anyway?”

Darkness: “I think it’s great!”

Yunyun (forced smile): “He‑he…”

Kazuma: “Great how? Every single thing in here has a side effect! Who would actually buy any of it? You’d have to be an idiot!”

Wiz (hurt): “R‑Really…? Is that…true?”

Kazuma: “Why did you even stock this stuff? They all have drawbacks. Do they ever sell?”

Wiz: “W‑Well… not many people buy them, I suppose…”

Kazuma: “Then why keep ordering more?”

Wiz: “B‑But I think they’re pretty good items…”

Kazuma: “I get it now—Wiz-san, you’re a business prodigy, huh? I’m amazed the shop hasn’t gone under yet.”

Wiz: “A prodigy?”

Kazuma (rolls eyes): “It’s a compliment.”

Wiz: “R‑Really? Thank you, Satou-san.”

(Kazuma suddenly feels embarrassed.)

Megumin (smug laugh): “Why bother with items at all? My Explosion Magic solves everything! External tools are meaningless—the world yearns only for my explosions!”

Shichen (patting her head): “And what good is a spell you can cast only once per day?”

Megumin: “Isn’t that what you are for? Last time you fired one and were totally fine. How much mana do you have, anyway?”

Shichen: “Well… why don’t you guess?”

Megumin: “Tch—forget it. I already know you’re amazing.”

(Shichen keeps rubbing her head. Megumin pouts but doesn’t pull away.)

Wiz (finally grasping the point): “So… the items I sell are basically useless?”

Aqua (shrugging): “Obviously! Even I know no one would buy them. A lich is still a lich—no business sense at all.”

Wiz: “H‑How could that be…”

Aqua: “From now on, stop bringing in such worthless junk, got it?”

Wiz: “I‑I understand… Thank you, Aqua-sama.”

Aqua: “I’m not helping you—I just want to buy useful gear myself. You’ll give me a discount, right? Don’t get any ideas.”

Wiz: “Of course. Aqua-sama will always get a discount.”

Aqua: “Good girl.”

Kazuma (deadpan): “Why is her tsundere act straight out of a textbook?”

Shichen (smiling fondly at Aqua): “Because Aqua’s actually very kind‑hearted.”

Aqua (embarrassed, turns away): “…N‑No I’m not.”

Wiz (curious): “Aqua-sama, just who are you? Why are you so powerful? Normal exorcism magic shouldn’t work on me.”

As a lich, Wiz’s magical defense is extremely high; apart from enchanted weapons, nothing should harm her. Simply touching her usually inflicts abnormal status effects or drains mana and life—a bona‑fide legendary undead.

Aqua: “Huh? Didn’t I mention it? I’m a goddess!”

Wiz (startled): “A goddess? Could Aqua-sama truly be a goddess?”

Aqua (hands on hips, chest out): “Absolutely, the genuine one!”

Wiz: “No wonder your exorcism worked on me… So Aqua-sama really is a goddess.”

Aqua: “That’s right! Since you seem discreet, I’ll tell you—I’m Aqua, Goddess of Water, the very deity the Axis Church worships! Shouldn’t a mere lich like you fall to your knees and revere me?”

(Wiz does not revere her; instead she backs away in fear.)

Aqua: “Hey! No need to be that scared. I know goddesses and the undead don’t get along, but still!”

Wiz: “N‑No, it’s just… The followers of the Axis Church are generally… um… eccentric. Most people avoid them if they can. That’s common sense in this world, so when I heard you were their goddess, I, I just…”

Aqua: “What did you say—?!”

Wiz: “S‑Sorry!”

Aqua: “Looks like peaceful coexistence with a lich is impossible. I should just smite you.”

Wiz: “H‑How could you…”

Shichen (intervening): “Now, now. It’s not Wiz’s fault, is it? Maybe blame your own followers instead?”

Aqua: “Impossible! How could I blame my believers?”

Shichen: “That’s our Aqua for you.”

Megumin (whispers to Yunyun): “Wait, are they saying Aqua’s really that goddess?”

Yunyun (wide‑eyed): “No way…”

Aqua: “Shichen?” (seeking confirmation)

(Shichen and Kazuma exchange a look and nod.)

Shichen: “It’s true. Aqua really is the Goddess of Water.”

Megumin & Yunyun: “Huh—? Seriously?!”

Shichen: “No lie. She’s the real thing.”

Aqua (tilts chin, basking in their shock): “Heh‑heh‑heh!”

Megumin: “I always thought that was just bragging…”

Yunyun: “Same here…”

Megumin: “No wonder Aqua’s so pretty and so strong.”

Aqua: “Heh‑heh! So, how about joining the Axis Church and worshipping me? A goddess stands before you—I’ll grant you my blessing!”

Megumin & Yunyun (in unison): “Yeah, no thanks.”

Aqua: “Eh? Why not?” (instantly flustered)

Megumin: “A goddess is a goddess; a church is a church. Don’t mix them up.”

Yunyun (sheepish): “I… I feel the same way.”

Aqua: “H‑How could you… Darkness, what about you?”

Darkness (looking away): “Sorry… I worship Eris-sama.”

Aqua: “What?! What’s so great about that padded‑bra nobody?”

Darkness (stern): “Aqua, even if you are my teammate and a goddess, I won’t allow you to insult Eris.”

Aqua (teary, dives into Shichen’s arms): “Shichen, they’re bullying me! Sob!”

Shichen (stroking her head): “There, there. Don’t cry. We’ll stay away from them.”

Aqua: “Mm‑hm!” (nods vigorously against his chest)

Megumin: “I’m starting to doubt she’s a goddess now.”

Yunyun: “Me too…”

Shichen: “You two, stop teasing her.”

Megumin: “Fine, fine. No wonder you spoil her so much—you’ve known all along she’s a goddess.” (pouting)

Shichen: “Don’t act like I don’t spoil you too.”

Megumin: “Do you?”

Shichen: “Don’t I?”

Megumin: “Hmph.” (turns away)

Kazuma (can’t take it anymore): “Uh, Shichen, could you quit flirting? Why are we here again?”

Shichen: “To make you stronger, of course.”

Kazuma: “Huh? Stronger how? These items are useless.”

Shichen: “The items are, but the skills aren’t.”

Kazuma: “What skills?”

Shichen: “Lich skills, naturally.”

Kazuma: “Eh?”

Aqua (suddenly shouting): “What?! Shichen, you’re not seriously planning to learn a lich’s skills, are you?”

Shichen: “Sure I am. It’s a rare opportunity—why waste it?”

Aqua: “Absolutely not!”

Shichen: “Why?”

Aqua: “I’m a goddess—how can I let you learn an undead’s abilities? Everything a lich knows is shady at best! Besides, liches love damp, gloomy places—they’re practically slimes’ cousins!”

Wiz (offended): “T‑That’s too harsh!”

Aqua (glaring): “Got a problem?”

Wiz: “N‑No…”

Aqua: “Hmph!”

Shichen: “It’s fine. My heart belongs to you, doesn’t it?” (ruffles her hair again)

Aqua: “Mmph…”

Shichen: “So, Wiz-san, would you teach us some lich skills?”

Wiz (smiles gently): “Of course.”

Kazuma (excited): “Really? If I can learn lich skills, that’s a fast track to power!”

Wiz: “Yes. After all, I… am still… on humanity’s side.” (her voice trails off, as though reminding herself)

Kazuma: “Then could you demonstrate the skills for us, Wiz-san?”

Wiz (hesitant, glancing at Aqua): “W‑Well… my skills need a live target…”

“Oh?”

~~~

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