Chapter 291: 291.Shizune, Do You Want to Experience It Too?

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Because he had once sat in this very position for decades.

The actions of the Sarutobi clan were, to the Hokage, nothing short of a forced ultimatum!!

This was no trivial matter.

If mishandled, the entire clan could face targeting and suppression.

“A warning is inevitable.”

Tsunade couldn’t be bothered to speculate how the Third Hokage would deal with the clan’s affairs—it would likely be one of his usual go-to methods. She simply reminded him:

“Old man, the village’s finances aren’t in great shape. Many holes have only just been patched up. I hope you understand my intentions.”

On matters like these, Tsunade didn’t want to rack her brains.

So, following Kazuki’s advice, she dumped the problem onto the Third Hokage and let him handle it himself.

If the Third truly couldn’t resolve it, the village would step in—but not now. Taking over immediately would only give certain clans the impression that the village wouldn’t dare cross them.

They needed to tighten their belts and endure a period of hardship. Only then would they learn the meaning of “appreciation.”

“I’ll handle it. The village can provide the clan’s bereavement funds and compensation at the minimum standard.”

The Third Hokage was a ruthless man—ruthless to himself and to his own clan.

Since the village’s finances were tight, bereavement funds and compensation would be set at the lowest standard.

Other clans had received similar treatment before—why should the Sarutobi be any different?

If they didn’t like it? Too bad. Hiruzen Sarutobi had spoken.

“Good. I’ll take your word for it. If you can’t hold out, let me know early, and I’ll think of another solution.”

And just like that, the Sarutobi clan’s troubles were entirely shouldered by the Third Hokage.

Bereavement funds and subsidies were set at the bare minimum.

Tsunade stamped the approval without hesitation, handing the funds over to the Third to distribute.

As for how he would convince his clan—that was his problem now.

After seeing off the Third, Tsunade turned to Shizune:

“I’m going to talk to Kazuki about something. Take a break.”

“Understood.”

As the Hokage’s assistant, Shizune was swamped.

Not only was she responsible for Tsunade’s affairs, but she also had to handle miscellaneous tasks for Kazuki.

She had already complained several times—Kazuki should hire his own secretary instead of overworking her like this.

Slumping into her chair, Shizune stared blankly at the sky outside the window.

“I really need a vacation…”

—

Arriving at Kazuki’s office, Tsunade signaled the ANBU operatives outside to leave and not disturb them.

Only then did she push the door open and step inside.

But the moment she entered, her good mood evaporated.

There was Kazuki, leaning against his desk, taking a nap.

Here I am, working myself to death, and this guy has the nerve to slack off during office hours?

She strode forward and rapped her knuckles against the desk.

“Wake up. Did you pass out at Kurenai’s place last night?”

“How’d you know I went to see Kurenai?”

Kazuki opened his eyes and stretched lazily.

Tsunade clenched her fist and waved it threateningly. Take a wild guess.

Pulling over a chair, she plopped down, propping her feet on Kazuki’s lap. She figured she might as well steal a moment of rest too—she was exhausted.

“I’ve convinced the old man, but I’m worried he won’t be able to persuade his clan.”

“He will.”

Kazuki yanked Tsunade into his lap, giving her a few playful squeezes before pausing in surprise.

“Huh. Feels like they’ve gotten bigger…”

“…”

“Want to die!!”

“Ahem. Business first.”

Kazuki coughed and continued, “I trust he’ll handle it. Don’t forget—the Sarutobi clan members storming the Hokage’s office was practically a coup attempt in the Hokage’s eyes. The Third will definitely use that as leverage to crack down on his own clan. The Sarutobi will have to swallow this bitter pill—whether they like it or not. Because they’re afraid you’ll hold a grudge and start suppressing them.”

“Doesn’t that seem like overkill?”

Slapping away Kazuki’s wandering hands, Tsunade frowned. Arbitrarily suppressing a clan in the village felt excessive.

“It’s because your teacher, the Third Hokage, has pulled similar stunts before. Now that it’s his own clan’s turn, he’s worried. He’s afraid the same tactics he once used will be turned against the Sarutobi.”

In short—he was ruthless himself, so he feared others would retaliate in kind.

“Sometimes I think you’d make a better Hokage than me.”

Tsunade’s gaze was complicated.

Compared to Kazuki and the Third, she wasn’t as cold or calculating.

If not for Kazuki handling many of the messy affairs she struggled with, she’d never have been able to clean up this disaster.

“So you should be thanking me. I’ve pulled out half my hair just to keep you in that chair.”

“Wait—this is the Hokage’s office…”

“Doesn’t that make it more exciting?”

“Ow—!! Stop, stop! I can’t take it—!!”

—

Outside, the ANBU operatives exchanged bewildered glances, ears perked at the noises coming from the office.

Someone decided this was getting inappropriate and quietly went to fetch Shizune.

“???”

The Hokage and Kazuki might be… doing something indecent in the office?!

Shizune’s jaw dropped.

Her first instinct was to storm over and throw the door open.

“Shizune, you want in on this too?”

Kazuki, who was in the middle of giving Tsunade a bone-cracking massage (hence the screaming), glanced back at the intruder.

“I’ll pass. I’ll rub my own shoulders…”

Taking in Tsunade’s utterly defeated expression, Shizune shuddered.

She’d experienced this “massage” before. While it felt great afterward, the actual process was agony—enough to make anyone howl.

To an outsider, it definitely sounded like something else entirely.

Couldn’t they at least keep it down during the day?

“Get over here. Lie down. Unless you want me to do this to you in the hallway.”

Kazuki pulled Tsunade upright and pointed to his now-cleared desk.

“…”

“Can you go easy? I’m scared of pain…”

You two are the death of me.

Tearfully, Shizune obeyed under Kazuki’s intimidating stare, flattening herself on the desk.

The next second—

Crack! Crack! CRACK!

The sound of joints being realigned echoed through the office, accompanied by Shizune’s desperate pleas for mercy.

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