Chapter 87

Translator: “Kell” Editor: “Weasalopes”

Today I’m in the hidden dungeon’s 10th floor. I stopped right before I turned the corner, taking out my Champion’s Shield and a hammer—the latter I bought just now at a weapon shop. I figured it would be much more effective against a stone than a sword or a spear.

I peeked my head out for a second to see the stone statue standing strong with its mouth open wide. That thing’s level 200, though…

Even if I somehow managed to block its 【Red Destructor Beam】, there’s no guarantee that I’ll be able to take it down with just a hammer. I turned to the 【Great Sage. 】It’s been a while since I last asked for his help.

—What’s a good skill to imbue on a weapon that’s effective against a stone statue monster?

【Stone Slice for cutting type weapons, and Stone Crush for impact type weapons. If you have either of these it’ll be easier to cut or crush a stone statue monster.】

Huh, so even swords work. I could reinforce my two-edged sword, but my hammer would go to waste. Let’s see how much LP both of them require first, and then decide.

500 LP was required to create 【Stone Slice】and 1,000 LP to grant it to my sword. A bit high. 【Stone Crush】 required 500 LP to create but only 200 LP to grant it to the hammer. They must be very compatible, then. Even among sledgehammers, this was probably cheap. I’m so glad I bought an expensive one.

I went with the hammer since it was cheaper. After giving up 700 LP I got myself a hammer for crushing the stone statue. I’ll just call it the Nameless Hammer.

【Dungeon Portal】 should be usable now so in the event that my shield doesn’t work, I can just escape.

I turned the corner and move towards the statue slowly. As expected, light particles began to gather around its mouth. Scary. I’m counting on you, Champion’s Shield.

A red beam of light fired from its mouth. I raised my shield to block it and heard a buzzing sound. So far, it didn’t look like it’s penetrating the shield. I moved forward until it was within range of my hammer and then smashed the stone statue with it.

「It’s payback time!」

After swinging around furiously, I landed a direct hit at its flank. I felt no resistance as I destroyed its body. It rolled on the floor, reduced to nothing but rubble.

I win… or so I thought. Even with just its head, it still tried to fire another beam.

「Just die already!」

I pulverized it before it could get me. This time, it stopped moving completely and I heaved a sigh of relief. I was surprised how it still tried to fight even with just its head. Anyway, I levelled up and I got rid of the hindrance.

It was time once again to busy myself with exploration. It would be great if I found something valuable. I treaded the long straight path cautiously. After about five minutes of walking, I made it to a dead end. Well not quite, actually. There was a wall, yes, but with three holes big enough for a person to pass through—one on the right, one on the middle, and one on the left.

I found a piece of parchment on the floor and picked it up. It read:

『O you who desire for the stairs. You may choose to go through any of the holes. On the left is the Path of Fury, the middle is the Path of Sorrow, and on the right is the Path of Laughter. Choose that which is your own forte.』

So it won’t tell me anything specific. I’m not sure if they’re being kind or not. If I were to believe the words on the parchment, either hole will lead me to the eleventh floor. If I had to choose, then I would go for the Path of Laughter.

I don’t want to get angry or sad, so I entered the hole on the right. There was a door on the other side and I opened it.

「Whoooooaaa!」

「…What?」

The scene changed all of a sudden. I was in some sort of a fancy tavern, standing on a stage. It was completely baffling. There I was, on a raised platform, surrounded by people clapping and cheering like they were here to see me.

「What’s going on here?」

They weren’t hostile. But from the fact that I couldn’t use my Appraisal on them and that we were in the deeper parts of the hidden dungeon, I could tell they weren’t ordinary humans. I can’t let my guard down.

When I prepared myself for action, an older man way at the back smiled gently.

「So you’re today’s comedian. I hope you entertain us all. If you do—」

The man, wearing a tailcoat and a silk hat, opened a door nearby.

「Stairs?!」

「Yes, I’ll show you the path you seek.」

So that’s what they meant by the Path of Laughter. It wasn’t me that would laugh, I had to make others laugh. The man’s expression darkened a little and warned me.

「Don’t even think about forcing yourself through. If you do, this place will turn into a scene of carnage you can’t run away from. 」

So in short, I’ll get killed. It would be foolish to force myself through when I don’t even know how powerful these people were; not to mention I was outnumbered.

「I understand. So I just have to do something funny, right?」

「I look forward to it. Please give him a round of applause, everyone.」

I’m getting nervous. I’ll just have to play it by ear!

I stepped in front of the stage and danced, wiggling my arms and legs. My father would do this to stretch himself after he gets out of the bath. I then pouted my lips and crossed my eyes. There might be someone who’ll burst into laughter from the sheer absurdity.

「I was diving underwater a while ago and saw this octopus wiggling its tentacles like this. 」

I used my whole body to try to portray an octopus. Would you look at that!

No one’s laughing! There were all dead serious; not even a scornful laugh. What happened to all the kind people just now?!

「A-Ahem. Next, I’m gonna mimic a golden slime.」

I cast aside my dignity, crouched down and moved around the stage. Then I quickly stood up and screamed.

「Kyapuchaaaa!」

………..That was a true-to-life mimicry but the whole place was still unenthusiastic. Heck, I could even feel a chill.

Already about half of the audience move to different tables to drink. Amidst the chilly atmosphere, I went for it, all or nothing.

「I’m gonna write something on my butt!」

I wasn’t going to just write it normally either. As much as possible, I wiggled my butt in an exaggerated and vigorous manner while writing my name on it.

By the time I finished writing the last letter, everyone was gone. The only person who was still paying attention to me was the well-mannered old man. Unable to resist, I asked him a question.

「…Not funny enough?」

「Please go home. There’s no place for you here.」

「…Yes, sir.」

My heart broken, I left the room through the same door and made it back to the place where the paths diverged. I was glad I could try again, but I’ve already suffered heavy mental damage.

I’m sorry, Father. I’m sorry for making fun of you, saying you had no sense of humor. I am no doubt your son.

「All right, pull yourself together and on to the next! It’s not over just yet!」

There two paths left: the Path of Fury and the Path of Sorrow. I’m guessing I’ll have to make someone mad or sad, depending on the path I chose. Which one should I go for this time?

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