Chapter 267 Translator: Nyoi-Bo Studio Editor: Nyoi-Bo Studio

Yan Xun talked a lot that evening, more than he ever did in the past month. He asked Mu Lang about the food in the military, how many family members he had, how were his parents’ health, how many children he had and if they were educated. He even asked jokingly how many wives Mu Lang were married to and whether the prostitutes in his military base were pretty.

Mu Lang was nervous. Having never met Yan Xun in person, everything he knew about him was from rumors or word of mouth. Yet, as he personally saw his approachable personality, it only served to further reinforce his views that he had made the right decision from the very beginning to believe in Yan Xun. As for the lady that defected to Tang, she had made the wrong choice to dare betray His Majesty.

Both of them would chat on well into the night. By the time the drums to signal the 11th hour of the night struck, Yan Xun was already seemingly drunk, half-slouched on his seat. His words of gossip turned ever softer by the minute before he eventually fell into silence. Thinking that he had fallen asleep, Mu Lang used a quilt as a makeshift blanket for Yan Xun before cautiously exiting the tent.

The tent was now quiet again, so quiet that the sounds of troops far away singing the folk songs of Yan Bei could be heard in the chilly night. In the darkness, the man opened his eyes, his vision no longer blurred by the effects of alcohol.

Yet again, he was left all alone.

The land around him was as cold as it was empty, without a single person in sight. The warm winds blew along, yet it seemed chilly as it entered the tent. Alone, he laid on his wide couch, his head on his pearl laced pillows, the smell of the incense burning swirling above and into his nose, seemingly calming him.

But even with the lush comfort of his couch and the absolute serenity of the night, he was after all, still alone. Just like that night many years ago, she was taken away towards the south via a canoe. Standing atop the city tower in Beishuo Pass, he looked into the distance, where snow piled up across the plains and the mountains afar resembled that of iron. Ultimately, she broke free of his clutches and left him.

In truth, he had long expected this outcome ever since he was just a little child.

She had always retained her kind and righteous personality, never giving up hope for the future regardless of the struggles she faced. At first, it was him that encouraged her on. Yet, as time passed, their roles reversed. She would describe their future together, along with her hopes, dreams and political views. No crisis would stop her from finding a solution to their problems, as she taught him archery and military tactics. Although Wu Daoya was his teacher by name, he had learned far more from her than from any other person.

Not only was she a mentor, a friend, and a person he relied on, she was the only woman that he had ever loved in his life.

Yet, the more these feelings built up, the more insecure and afraid he became. It wasn’t clear exactly when, but a sudden realization hit him one day that their paths were likely going to be divergent. One day, she would eventually leave him.

When did this begin?

He couldn’t recall. Perhaps, it was when she began to show sympathy for the slaves, or when she grew closer to Zhao Song. It could have been when she explained to him how society would settle down in the future to prosper, or even sooner than that. Deep inside, he knew very clearly that someday in the future, he would eventually disappoint and hurt her, forever destroying the bridge of trust and dependence they had built over the years.

Therefore, he devised a plan to alienate and exclude her from military affairs, in order to prevent her from seeing the bloodshed and cruelty that he would unleash in his quest to accomplish his goals.

He wasn’t a hunter that would snap the wings of a white eagle; he was a night owl that cruised in the night sky instead. As the long night passed and rays of sunlight began to rise over the horizon, a tinge of fear began to strike him.

A snide, deep laughter began to echo in the darkness, as a tinge of drunkenness remained in his eyes. He suddenly recalled the times in his childhood when he was an insecure teenager, as he asked repeatedly, “Will you stay with me forever?”

The girl smiled brightly, lowering her head towards him.

“Will you bully me?”

Will you bully me? Will you bully me? Will you…

He closed his eyes as that crisp voice continued to reverberate around his head.

I only want to give you the very best. Yet, what I deem to be the very best may not be what you want at all.

In the darkness, a crisp sound suddenly echoed out. Yan Xun undid the buckle over his right arm as a piece of silver tinted armor fell towards the ground, faintly reflecting the light above. It was a gift that Zhao Song had given to her. It came in a pair, to which she had given Yan Xun a set that he then wore for the decades since.

“When I embarked on this journey, I knew very well that there was no way your life could ever fit into mine. You stand for hope and peace, while I dream of bloodshed. Hence, I wanted you to listen to me and obey me. Yet, in the end, I failed.” He laughed to himself silently in the darkness.

A price had to be paid in order to achieve any goal. Evidently, he had already paid his price.

“No one dreams of a mediocre, stale life. Yet, when an opportunity presents itself, the key is whether one has the courage to take it.”

His voice was both low and hoarse in the darkness, as if he had been through a few cycles of reincarnation as an old man. He laid back on his golden couch; the exquisite wine spilled all over the table, giving off an intoxicating aroma. Dressed in his flamboyant robe, he smiled ever so widely in the darkness, giving off the vibes of an innocent child.

“Zhuge Yue, do you have the courage to take it?”

“I can’t,” Zhuge Yue said lowly, looking sharply at the man before him.

Zhuge Muqing’s hair was all white. His skin was all wrinkled; the past few years had drained whatever remnants of energy left in him. He appeared as lifeless as still water. All he had left was his last bout of madness, as he looked towards his son with his bloodshot eyes.

“Zhao Che has already been defeated, and Zhao Yang won’t hold on for much longer. Within the entire Xia territory, the only person that can change the situation is you. If we were to abandon Zhao Yang, he will be doomed to collapse. By then, you would be the most powerful person in Xia, able to command anyone within. In ten years, the Zhuge family will be able to topple Yan Bei and ascend the pinnacle of power!”

Like a wild beast, Zhuge Muqing looked at his son with his bloodshot eyes and grabbed both of his shoulders. Loudly, he exclaimed, “Yue’er, the destiny of Xia and the future of the Zhuge family hinges on your decision now!”

Zhuge Yue looked at his father quietly, remaining silent for what seemed to be an eternity. His father had aged, which meant that he was no longer the revered and forward-thinking leader of the family. Instead, he had become senile, silly, vain and borderline insane.

Throughout his life, he had never been this close to his father. He had lost his mother when he was just a toddler, while he spent his childhood days wandering alone in the massive mansion of the Zhuge family. It was only as he grew up and worked harder, that he started to stand out among his brothers, finally catching the eye of his father that had way too many women and sons.

But, as he fell and got injured later on, he survived against the odds, only to be ruthlessly disowned by his family.

Even as he regained power and restored glory to his family, they still chose his elder brother over him as they continued to attempt to suppress him. This was what his family was like.

Yet, he still could not bear to resent them utterly.

As what Wei Shuye had said, even in the face of all these ugliness and rejection, they were ultimately his family who had provided for him since he was young. Hence, he was obliged to assume the responsibility of upholding his family’s reputation.

After all, he was his father, a vital figure who had raised and taught him, who had been excited over his results and improvements. Despite the fact that his father had been ruthless towards him, it did not erase the fact that he provided him with a rich and happy childhood. Back then, when he was still a small child that could not defend himself, his father had stood up for both him and his family.

“Father, I can’t.” Zhuge Yue stepped back, lowered his head, bowed deeply, and replied, “One person can only do so much. I can’t do everything.”

The candle crackled, its light reflecting off Zhuge Yue’s face with a tinge of gold. He looked calmly at his father as he continued in a gentle manner, “Thank you, Father, for raising me up. However, I can’t do this. Even without me, Xia still has other generals. Even without me, Father, you still have other sons. However, if Xing’er were to lose me, she would lose all hope in life.”

He bent forward and bowed, looking at his father, who had raised, abandoned, and tried to kill him. Calmly, he declared, “Father, take care.”

Zhuge Yue turned around, the candlelight still reflecting off him, only further highlighting his tall and strong figure. Zhuge Muqing could only watch on with his mouth half-opened, stunned, as his hands maintained its posture of grabbing at the space where his son’s shoulders had been moments ago.

It was at that moment that he realized that this was the day he could forever lose this son of his. A son that he had looked after and had so much hope on, yet also one that he had beaten, gone against his wishes, abandoned, exiled out of the home, and even tried to assassinate.

Years of their relationship flew past, as the wind blew into the tent, fluttering his white hair and across his scrawny back. He had suddenly aged that bit more and could only laboriously reach out his hand to retrieve those lost years in vain.

Zhuge Yue walked out slowly. He knew since a long time ago that this day would come. This day was going to be the day that he expressed what exactly he truly cared about, through his actions.

It was not about conquering the world or leaving his mark on history, nor ruling over the lifeforms below him as he took his seat on the pinnacle of power, all alone.

All he sought was her to be alive, living her life well in a place that he could watch over her.

The only reason one would tell themselves to rebuild their might was to have something or someone to protect and defend. Yet, if that very thing was lost, so did the meaning behind becoming all mighty and powerful.

He would never do things that he would eventually regret.

As the tent’s curtains were opened, he stepped inside under the moonlight, the chilly wind blowing on his face. It was then he had a sudden moment of clarity.

Lost territories could be reclaimed. A disbanded or defeated army could be rebuilt. But, humans could never be resurrected from the dead.

Zhao Che’s words before his departure once again came to mind.

“Know what you truly want, and live life once for yourself.”

This friend of his had been betrayed by his brother and pursued by his enemies relentlessly thereafter. However, despite this, he made the long trip to see him, just to tell him these words, which seemingly had no effect on the outcome of the big picture.

The troops outside the base had finished their preparations and were ready to be deployed. Zhuge Yue took a deep breath, stepped forward and leaped onto his horse, shouting, “Let’s go!”

The sounds of horses reverberated through the air as they charged towards the distant land of Tang.

The land and throne all stood before him. But it was his unwillingness rather than a lack of courage that caused him to ignore this opportunity.

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