Chapter 208

[Uuugh…!]

A pain like thorns piercing every inch of my body made me open my eyes. My throat was parched to an absurd degree, and an eerie chill seeped down my spine.

[What the hell happened… huh?]

My voice was strange.

My pleasant, familiar tone was gone, replaced by some kind of mechanical noise. And that wasn’t the only odd thing.

[Why is… my vision so low?]

Was I lying down right now?

It didn’t feel like I was lying down at all. It was more like my height had been halved… no, reduced to something below thirty centimeters.

I immediately sensed that something was terribly wrong with my body. At the same time, I recalled that strange, unidentified being—the one whose blinding light I’d taken full-on just before losing consciousness.

[Don’t tell me…!]

Was this mana intoxication?

Was my body turning into a monster?

Startled, I frantically tried to check my arms—but I couldn’t. Because there were no “arms” to speak of.

[D-Damn it! Damn it! My arms!]

I really was turning into a monster!

What should I do? What can I do?

I panicked and began frantically scurrying around. Every time I moved, a strange whirring sound followed me.

But I was far too panicked to even question the sound’s origin—I just kept running around like a madman. I wanted to grab my head in despair, but with no arms, even that was impossible.

[Damn it, Linda… Sasha…!]

Unable to bear it, I started sobbing. But perhaps my heart had turned into a monster along with the rest of me—no tears came. That only made me feel even more miserable, and I was about to close my eyes altogether when…

In the glass sliding door of a nearby office cabinet, I caught sight of my reflection. I didn’t want to see it—but my eyes couldn’t help it.

And then—

[Eh…?]

It was… not what I expected. Not even close.

[A… robot vacuum!?]

No matter how I looked at it, that’s exactly what it was.

A flat, cylindrical shape.

A clean, white plastic body.

It was unmistakably a latest-model product from Stingray Electronics. It boasted not only standard vacuuming but also automatic dust disposal, UV sterilization, pest extermination, wet mopping, auto-mop washing, and even wall-cleaning functions—a truly remarkable piece of equipment.

[Uh… huh.]

I was at a loss for words.

Just in case, I spun in a circle on the spot. And sure enough, the robot vacuum in the reflection spun in a circle too.

I tried waving my hand.

Then, the robot vacuum in the glass began twirling its tiny side brushes. When I moved my body in various ways, the UV light turned on, the suction engaged—everything reacted in sync.

There was no mistaking it.

I had become a vacuum cleaner.

[AARON STINGRAAAAAAY—!]

From the next room came Vladimir’s furious roar. While waiting for my body to naturally recover after removing the [Cloud Spider] and [Corpse Eater] modules, I perked up at the familiar voice.

“He’s regained consciousness.”

“Thank goodness~! Honestly, I was so worried~.”

Ciel let out a relieved sigh. Like me, she’d been repairing her damaged parts, though unlike me—who could heal naturally—many of her components were beyond repair.

I’d have to get her fitted with better parts once we got back, as a reward for surviving all this.

With that thought, I opened the door to Vladimir’s room.

And the moment I did—

WHIRRR—!

A robot vacuum came charging full speed and rammed into my shin.

“Ouch.”

[‘Ouch’? Don’t give me that crap! Since when does a man who can tank bullets with his bare body feel pain!?]

“It actually does hurt, though.”

At the moment, I was focused on recovery and had removed every module except those related to healing. Especially since I’d unequipped the now Level 6 [Corpse Eater], I’d had to remove several other incompatible ones along with it.

As a result, my replacement rate was extremely low. My body was much weaker than usual, and when a 20-kilogram hunk of plastic slammed into my shin—it hurt. Only a little, but still.

[Forget that—explain what the hell’s going on! Why am I a robot vacuum!?]

“Well…”

[And why, for god’s sake, is it a Stingray product instead of a Militech one!? Our models perform 24% better!]

“…”

That’s what bothered him?

Then again… it was Vladimir.

“It’s a long story.”

[My situation is a long story!]

“Fair point.”

I supposed anyone would feel that way—waking up to find themselves reincarnated as a household appliance.

“Then listen carefully, and try not to panic.”

[At this point, what could possibly surprise me anymore?]

“In that case…”

I calmly began to explain.

Vladimir’s body had already been severely corroded by mana intoxication—it was beyond saving. So, with AI Miyu’s assistance, I had no choice but to extract his brain from his dying body.

The operation used the Level 6 [Cloud Spider] module. Just as I’d dissected Omega down to the cellular level, I managed to extract Vladimir’s brain with the same precision.

After that, naturally, I preserved the brain in a nutrient solution and connected its neural signals remotely to the robot vacuum. There was the option to mount the preservation tank directly on the vacuum, but… that was too grotesque, so I rejected it.

“They say a brain deteriorates quickly if it receives no external stimuli. Ideally, I’d have created a virtual environment through electrical signals and let you live in it, but…”

The problem was that most of this facility had collapsed.

Only Honeycomb City—protected by strong defensive barriers—and a few sections on the opposite side of the combat zone were still intact. Besides, I didn’t even have the technology to build something like that.

When I finished explaining, Vladimir seemed to calm down a little. It wasn’t like I’d had any choice if I wanted to save him.

[…So, where’s my brain now?]

“Right here.”

I pointed to the cylinder sitting on the desk beside me.

Inside the green liquid, a brain floated gently. Surprisingly, Vladimir didn’t seem particularly shocked by the sight. I supposed his world’s logic was just… different.

[Then I’ll need to return to New Valhalla City to restore my body. But I’ve never heard of anyone resurrecting a person dying from mana intoxication this way. Is that even possible?]

“You don’t need to worry. I know a reliable technician.”

[Dammit. Then I suppose I’ll be indebted to you for a while. I can’t exactly go back looking like this.]

Haah—Vladimir let out a long sigh.

At the same time, air puffed out from the exhaust port of the robot vacuum. I felt bad for thinking it, but the mechanism looked a little funny.

[Let me ask just one last question.]

“What is it?”

[Why a robot vacuum, of all things?]

“Hmm.”

I figured I should be honest about that part too.

“There was another option.”

[Another option?]

“Instead of a robot vacuum, I could’ve linked your brain to an android body.”

[What!? Then why didn’t you do that!? You can still—!]

“It was a female model.”

[…Excuse me?]

“A cat-eared android girl, to be exact.”

[…And why was something like that even here?]

“I have no idea…”

It was probably one of Benedict’s secret hobbies. Still, the guy was dead, so I decided to leave his dignity intact and not dig any deeper.

“For reference, according to the AI, once a brain is linked to a body, moving it between hosts repeatedly increases the risk of the connection severing when you finally return to your real body. But if you don’t care, I can still transfer you into the cat-eared android girl—”

[I’m fine like this. Yes.]

“Thought so.”

Anyway, the battle was over.

It had been a truly exhausting day.

I just meant to stir up some trouble at first.

Somehow, things had spiraled completely out of control—and I’d almost died for real. Learning that insane experiments like this were happening behind the scenes, and stopping them in time, was nothing short of luck.

But the price had been heavy.

By forcibly raising both [Cloud Spider] and [Corpse Eater] to Lv.6, I’d turned them into something I could no longer use lightly.

Ciel had followed me blindly into battle and got shot, leaving many of her body parts heavily damaged. Her AI Core was intact, but she’d suffered plenty.

And no one had it worse than Vladimir. Sure, it was his own greed that got him here, but the whole mess had started with a lie I told him.

The result: in just a single day, Vladimir gained mouths to feed, lost his own body, and ended up reincarnated as a robot vacuum.

And this isn’t even over yet.

Honeycomb City was still here.

Inside the city, countless people were still living their daily lives, oblivious to everything. Even if they were lives born of Stingray Group’s conspiracy, they were still living humans—I couldn’t just exterminate them all.

And there was no way to suddenly evacuate a million people to New Valhalla City. That city was already bursting at the seams; no one would be thrilled to add another million residents.

Still, I couldn’t just shrug it off with an “Oh well” and leave them behind either. Half the facility had been wrecked during the fight with that monster; the defense systems were likely inoperable.

Leaving now without taking any precautions would be no different from sentencing them all to death.

While I was mulling over that problem—

Brrring—!

“…?”

A phone suddenly rang.

That shouldn’t have been possible here, in the middle of a wasteland.

All communication with New Valhalla City had been severed; no call could possibly come through. To reach anyone, I’d have to walk quite a distance.

And the caller ID—

“…Stingray Chairman.”

“…!”

[?!]

My muttering made both Ciel and Vladimir flinch. The timing felt almost as if he’d known everything already.

But I couldn’t just ignore it.

So I answered the call.

“…”

[Oh, so you’re still alive.]

An old man’s chuckle came through the line. Unlike his usual weary demeanor, his voice brimmed with vigor and mischief.

“What’s the matter?”

[I called to check the situation. From the sound of it, you managed to kill Benedict.]

“I didn’t kill him.”

[If saying that helps you sleep better, suit yourself. But remember—there are many ways to kill a man.]

So in the end, you were the cause of it.

That was the tone he used.

[Then your survival must mean Omega is dead. The facility still stands, I assume?]

“…”

[Hmm. I see.]

Even though I said nothing, unwilling to share information, Stingray Chairman spoke as though he’d figured something out.

[That matter—I’ll take care of it. Consider it a reward from your old man. Oh, and just so you know, I’d suggest getting as far away from there as you can.]

“What?”

Laughing as if Benedict’s death meant nothing to him, he spoke those words.

And the next instant, something flashed across the sky—followed by a new system message filling my vision.

—–

[Warning]

[Unidentified flying object rapidly approaching]

[Estimated ground impact in 37 seconds]

—–

“What!?”

Looking up, I saw something plummeting through the atmosphere at terrifying speed.

Without a moment to spare, I grabbed Ciel, Vladimir, and his brain container—and ran.

—–

[Impact in 3, 2, 1…]

—–

The number hit zero.

And at that very moment—

Honeycomb City collapsed.

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