Emotions are strange.

They make us feel things we never expected ourselves to be capable of feeling.

“Viola, do you remember the time we first met?”

I asked her softly, not expecting an answer.

Viola stayed true to my expectations and didn’t reply but I didn’t stop.

“That day, it was Lyra’s birthday and just because I ate her stupid cake before she could, she started chasing me with a rusty pole in the name of teaching me discipline and respect.”

I leaned against the door as the faint sound of breathing reached me from the other side.

I took a deep breath after relaxing my body completely, letting my emotions guide me for the first time instead of some elaborate logic or efficiency.

“I was sure that day… that Lyra was going to kill me… so I just kept running around the garden.”

I continued after a small pause.

“And then you appeared.”

I let out a small laugh.

“You were a mess with tears and snot all over your face. Even your hair was tangled with leaves stuck everywhere.”

I continued, the image of a childlike Viola still vivid in my mind, when a sharp knock suddenly came from the other side of the door.

“I wasn’t crying.”

Her voice was still laced with anger but a smile appeared onto my lips. That had been my first genuine reaction from her ever since we arrived in Anciana.

But I didn’t say anything and just continued my story.

“When I first saw you, I thought I would finally be saved from the tyranny of Lyra. But instead of helping me… you started laughing.”

A quiet sigh escaped my lips.

“I was so dumbfounded that my body froze and Lyra caught me. You know what happened next as you joined Lyra’s crew after that.”

“The days that followed were hell for me. You two always teamed up against me and I kept running to my mom, complaining, hiding behind her.”

I heard her breathing stop for a moment when I mentioned my mom.

Still, I didn’t stop.

“You know… I used to complain to her all the time about how I wanted you and Lyra out of my life.”

My stomach twisted strangely as I thought of my mom.

The faces of my mothers from both of my lives overlapped and somehow, they felt the same to me. Even their smiles and the way they called my name felt the same.

But I still didn’t stop.

“I can still see it.” I murmured softly. “How she ruffled my hair and smiled at me mischievously everytime… telling me I would be sad if that ever really happened.”

“Rael…”

I heard the concern in Viola’s voice but I didn’t respond and just kept going.

“Then came Mom’s funeral… I still remember how you hugged me and cried.”

“That day, I was sad… too sad. But even then, I was grateful.”

“Grateful that you were there for me.”

I swallowed.

“I tried imagining my life without you… and I felt scared.”

“I didn’t want to lose you. Or Lyra. Or Ru. Or Dad.”

My voice softened.

“I was terrified by the mere possibility… I don’t want to be rich or strong if it means living alone in a cold house without the warmth of friends or family.”

I recalled my past life, one that was exactly that.

A rich billionaire, surrounded by wealth yet without friends or family.

I never wanted to experience that kind of life again.

When I first woke up, I thought I had transmigrated but now… I could only understand it as reincarnation.

I had always been Rael von Ashborn.

Perhaps I had merely awakened the memories of a previous life, memories that overwhelmed me at first…

… Or maybe my Nexus evolution had fused my soul too deeply with this body.

Because there was no other explanation for the depth of emotions I felt.

These feelings had always been there for everyone Rael had cared about. Even for Seles, my former fiancée… someone I had deceived.

I could see through her shallow emotions and separate my feelings for her logically but even then I felt ache when I annulled my engagement with her.

But Viola, Lyra, Ru and Dad.

Their emotions were too genuine and too selfless.

No matter how logically I tried, I could never ignore them and if something were to happen to any of them… I would never forgive myself.

So, when I saw Viola acting strange, the only thing I felt good about doing was being honest with her about my feelings.

I continued.

“I have changed a lot, especially after my awakening. I might seem crazy or cold, at times… but the fact that I care for you as my sister hasn’t changed and it never will.”

“No matter who I am or what I become, you will always be the same to me and as my family… I hope you will guide me if I ever stray too far.”

“So be mad at me if you want and you have every right to be but at least… tell me why.”

I rose from where I stood as I heard movement from the other side of the door.

Footsteps.

The door opened.

Viola stood there with her eyes red and tears still sliding down her cheeks.

A baseball bat rested on her shoulder.

“I will kill you if you say even one more stupid thing, you idiot.”

I let out a wide smile, almost like a performer because that was the only genuine emotion my flaw allowed.

Before I could say anything, Viola hugged me tightly and just kept crying.

I didn’t do anything else and simply patted her shoulders.

Between her sobs, she told me how Arza had said something stupid… something that could easily create a huge misunderstanding.

Only then did I understand.

The anger and sadness she felt probably weren’t because of that alone.

Her feelings had been bottling up ever since we met again on the cruise. She must have found my behavior and even me as a whole too different from the person she remembered.

She never showed it or maybe she didn’t even realize it herself but the moment Arza said those words, her image of me crumbled.

She felt like she couldn’t recognize me anymore and as a form of self-protection…

She started acting that way.

Truly… emotions are such strange things.

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