Chapter 182: No Apologies

May 1, 624

“Polly will present your report to General Viskar.”

Jasmine argued, her hand around my arm as we walked to my room. She was just comforting me, but it was welcome. 

“They’ll have their minds on things for a while so your workload will lessen. I’ll also take care of that mission recon around the mountain. Just rest. You’ve done more than enough.”

“…Give me two or three days.”

I turned my head, looking down at Jasmine after opening my door. 

“I’m close to advancing.”

“Oh… Alright, I’ll tell them.”

“Thank you.”

I nodded and entered my room. Jasmine gently clicked the door shut behind me. 

Once inside, I popped down on my bed and passed out. My Psyka was drained and my mind lethargic. I’d need more energy for what was to come. 

Not just for the advancement either. If I wanted to survive the battles that would come many months from now, I’d need more personal power. 

There was probably an army the size of the one that toppled Purple Sky marching its way over. Several hundred thousand at minimum, all of them supported by that gargantuan intestine snaking its way through the mountains, acting as a conduit of food, supplies, poisons, and everything else the Scourge needed to thrive and overrun its enemies. 

At some point, it will be every man for himself. The Treehouse was sure to fall and Stronghold Charlie likely wouldn’t be far behind. 

If the Generals in charge didn’t have the foresight to strengthen even further, or retreat before everyone got massacred, then it wouldn’t be surprising if I had to fight my own way out. 

I wouldn’t be dragged down with them. If I had to bail, then I would do so. I refused to die meaninglessly, and I didn’t give a damn about being branded a deserter or something of the like. 

My thoughts spun as I slept. The night was not uneventful. 

Hours passed and the advancement formation filled my mindspace, my dreams filled with nothing but the thought of accumulating power. 

The formation pulled in the surrounding Magika like a vortex. I recharged my Psyka ravenously.

While that happened, the stars within my mind started weaving webs, drawing thin connections, weaving a network composed of facets of my being and the memories I had made. 

While that was happening though, I put my own little twist on things. 

This advancement formation made things malleable before reshaping them. I used that in order to insert my own visualizations. This was where I started utilizing the memory technique:

The Mind Palace. 

The stars shifted with an application of my will, several more formations lighting up around the mind space. I had been working on the Mind Palace technique for a while, finding a way to shape everything and realizing that the shape wasn’t necessarily as important as what it meant to bring everything underneath one singular technique. 

The Mind Palace was all about associating memories with things, like books, drawings, even decorations. Memories were more than just a piece of information. Something as simple as a number could be tied to a smell, or a sight. By associating one thing with multiple other details, that memory became stronger. 

I wanted to do that to my mind, especially because everything in my mind was far more tangible than it had been in the past. I could literally reshape my mind in this world. That capability was practically begging to be taken advantage of. 

So I used this advancement, one that was all about perfecting and enhancing my memory and processing abilities, to tack on another beneficial system. 

The stars began to morph inward, drawing in my Psyka as I continued pushing them. At some point, it felt like hours had passed, yet I was still in dreamland. 

Everything came to me so fluidly. The only downside was that because I was spending all the Psyka on reforming my mind instead of accumulating power, I was delaying the actual advancement. Such was necessary since I wanted to be in the Capital for the advancement, but if my request for leave was approved, then that wouldn’t be long from now. I’d have to be diligent. 

I had a feeling that it would be rather easy though. 

As my mind morphed into my envisioned Palace, I could feel changes in the way I thought taking place. As if I were multiplying the amount of neural connections in my brain, the ideas flowing through my mind multiplied with them. There was much more activity, and not just by virtue of speed. My mind was processing more with the same amount of energy, conclusions coming to me in seconds when normally they would’ve taken minutes, yet things hadn’t actually physically sped up.

My hardware was becoming more efficient while expanding its resources, and more resources meant more details. 

I was able to improve my enhancements in real time as well. All of it compounded together, my mind space morphing until it was nearly unrecognizable. 

The stars and the connections between them formed the  spider frame of a Palace, and in its center was my Spark, around it a vortex of Psyka. 

Finally, after I felt like I had been working for a day, I could no longer make any more changes or upgrades. 

With renewed energy, I opened my eyes. I was still in my room. 

Nobody was there, but the increased tension was almost palpable. 

It was the Treehouse. All the soldiers were anxious, and I could imagine why. 

I looked at my Aerial, finding that about two days had passed. I felt it too. I was parched. 

My head throbbed with the dehydration, so I took out a canteen and downed the entire thing. After that I simply laid down, letting my body absorb.

I gradually felt better. It was probably thanks to the smidge of Vigor in my body that I wasn’t withering at the moment. 

With that thought I sent a message to Jasmine. Then I left my room, finally getting a breath of fresh air out amidst the buildings and bustle of the base. 

However, that’s when I saw something odd. 

I squinted my eyes, looking toward the sky and finding a massive slight golden wall along the horizon. It was hardly visible, even to my enhanced eyes, but its distance didn’t limit the overwhelming oppressiveness it emitted. It didn’t feel hopeless; quite the contrary, I had a sudden motivation to overcome it, to break through. 

I tilted my head, remaining in my spot until Jasmine found me. 

“John?”

“… What is that?”

I pointed to the wall, Jasmine looking to the sky like I was. 

“… What?”

“That wall.”

“What wall?”

“Along the horizon. It’s kinda golden, translucent…”

“… John, there’s no wall. Wait, are you…”

She suddenly looked at me with wide eyes. 

“You’re seeing the Great Barrier?”

“What’s that?”

“It’s… Let’s go sit and talk.”

“And eat, please.”

She sighed and waved me along. The two of us went to the mess hall and grabbed food. 

Once we were at a table, we took a few bites. She then went on to explain while I continued eating. 

“First off, your report was passed around. It was even sent back to the rear. More requests for reinforcements were put in, but whether they’ll get accepted is a toss up. They’ve already sunk a lot of resources into this base, so we can’t know if they’ll invest more.”

“That leaves us in a precarious position.”

“I agree, but we can only wait and see for now. Needless to say, your report sparked fear in the right people. I don’t think we’ll be left hanging. By the way, you’re really good at scaring people with those.”

“Its easy when there’s actually scary stuff coming our way. It’s nothing but the truth.”

“Mm.”

She took another bite before looking up. 

“So you’re seeing the Great Barrier, huh?”

“I suppose I am.”

“The Great Barrier is a barrier to the pinnacle of power. It’s said that only people with a certain level of potential will ever be able to see it. Even then, I’ve only ever heard of people seeing it at Authority 9and 10, maybe 8 if they were exceptional. But you’re still Authority 5.”

“I am.”

“… Well, putting that aside, you should understand that the Great Barrier is a divider of sorts, filtering out the worthy from the fodder. If you ever want to reach Authority 12, then you need to break through it during Authority 10. If you advance to Authority 11 before breaking it, then you’ll forever be stuck at that level.”

“Interesting…”

I nodded, thinking about what that meant for certain people. 

Perhaps Duchess Talerria was stuck there, too little talent to break the Great Barrier, but enough to still get to Authority 11. I was sure that very many people hit that barrier. It definitely wasn’t an easy obstacle to breach. 

The question was though, what did it mean for me to see the Great Barrier at Authority 5? I was about to jump to Authority 6, but still. It seemed too early. 

Was I just that talented? I was sure that Umara had even more talent than me. Has she seen it yet?

“Seems like I won’t be breaking through it for a while.”

“Well… That’s the thing.”

Jasmine looked a bit apologetic. 

“I’ve heard that the main reason summoners are so weak is because none have yet to break through the Great Barrier. It’s forever remained the single greatest obstacle to our power.”

“Is that right?”

I nodded, wondering for how much longer that would remain true. 

Could I be the first? Considering I had four Authorities to figure out how to break it, I would say my chances were pretty high so long as I didn’t die before then. 

Though, I couldn’t imagine just how someone was supposed to break through the barrier. It wasn’t a physical object, and no matter where I went, it was always on the horizon. A metaphysical boundary, never touchable, but somehow breakable. 

I’d have to ask Maxwell. I was sure that he had seen the Barrier, perhaps even tried to break through it. If anyone could give me guidance, it would be him. 

I changed the subject. 

“So what’s the next plan of action? Are we just waiting for the Generals to do something?”

“It’s normal for now. We’re going to continue collecting intelligence, continue fighting off the Scourge, continue developing countermeasures for their diseases.”

“I’m going to guess that there are no plans for making any meaningful counterattacks?”

“We don’t have nearly enough troops to do something like that. Plus, that’s not our job.”

I shook my head at her words. 

“Yes, I know. Stronghold Charlie and the Treehouse are only meant to hold the western front down. But for how long? We’ve allowed them to develop beyond Hare’s Pass for years. Now they’re moving their war machines and are about to overrun us. If we actually made efforts to push them back and pull them up by the roots, none of this would be happening.”

“John, I don’t know what to tell you. Those are issues well beyond my pay grade.”

“I know, I know.”

I wiped my face, feeling the oncoming stress of the future. 

The Kingdom was passive in this war, and that only let the Scourge run rampant over them. They wouldn’t do anything meaningful until they panicked, which wouldn’t happen until the Scourge started marching into their cities. 

Nothing I hadn’t already concluded before, except now I was feeling just how overwhelming the Scourge could be, on top of the fact that they likely could bring much more to bear. I still hadn’t forgotten that they occupied another continent entirely. 

Jasmine and I finished our lunch, leaving the mess hall and heading to our office inside headquarters. 

Polly and Brigadier Nonnen were there. My mood fell when Nonnen looked at me. 

The two women were silent as we stared at each other for a handful of seconds. 

Nonnen broke the silence by standing and walking over to me, meeting me face to face. 

“You have something to say to me, Major?”

“… I can’t give you an apology.”

I had a bit of time to process the deaths of Chief Reginold, Vipul, and Prasanna. The conclusion I came to was the fact that there were no apologies to be given. 

Nonnen’s eyes narrowed.

“Choose your words carefully.”

“I always do. Their deaths aren’t something I can apologize for. I didn’t want them to die, and I did everything I could to make sure they would get back safe. But they didn’t. Regardless of why, I sent them knowing full well that their death was a possibility. Now, their deaths rest on my shoulders. It’s a tragedy, but I won’t apologize for it, because they didn’t die meaninglessly. If it were up to me, I would’ve been on that mission, and I’d do it all again regardless, because the information they brought back may very well save hundreds of thousands of people. Either way, It’s my burden and I’m going to bear it.”

“…”

I didn’t feel Nonnen’s anger. There didn’t seem to be any. He wasn’t mad at me. He had also sent soldiers to battle, and had gotten them killed as a result. He had been in my position several times before. I had seen his battle records. 

He muttered. 

“As long as you understand what it means to do what you do. You hold more lives in your hands than you understand.”

“I understand perfectly well what kind of power I wield.”

“… Good.”

He took a step to my side. I spoke before he could leave. 

“Chief Reginold said that it was worth it.”

“… Let’s make sure it is so.”

He left with those words, leaving the three of us together. 

Polly’s eyes drifted toward me. 

“Cooper.”

“Hm?”

“Your request for leave was approved. We’re in a bit of a lull so they’ve decided to let you head back to the Capital.”

She handed me a letter. I opened it and saw the dates listed. 

I was getting a whole week, and I would leave three days from now to head back. 

Despite the previously gloomy atmosphere, I smiled. I was finally going to get some respite from this hell hole. 

I quickly sent a message to Umara with the details before looking back at Polly. 

“Thank you, ma’am.”

“Don’t mention it. You deserve a break. Although I forget sometimes, you’ve only been doing all this for a year. I know you’re stressed out, so take the time to relax as much as you can.”

“I sure as shit will.”

“And until then, you get to work overtime.”

“Well, shit…”

Polly chuckled –a tint of the Brigadier’s darkness was present, but only a note – while straightening out some papers. I’d have to tie up a few loose ends before leaving, because even in just a week, a lot of things could happen. I wasn’t that essential, but there were still some things under my supervision that they’d need to become familiar with in order to fill my shoes for a little while. 

Still, nothing could get me down with the thought of vacation in mind. Since I knew when I would leave, I scheduled myself accordingly and made sure that I was primed for my advancement when I arrived. 

I also sent a message to Maxwell, making sure he had plenty of time to prepare. 

It was finally time to get to Authority 6, and perhaps see my girlfriend for the first time in a year. 

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