Chapter 262. The Same Person

In-si, the Hour of the Tiger (2:00 AM – 4:00 AM). It was the time when most living beings would be asleep. Perhaps that was why—despite the many outsiders staying there—the night of the Tang Clan estate was quiet.

The sound of bamboo leaves rubbing against each other in the wind felt unusually loud.

Each time he stepped into the dark forest, Namgung Hyun felt weight settle into his feet.

It was a path he had already walked once, and the person he meant to meet was the same, yet fear rose within him as though he were facing a road he had never seen before in his life.

At that moment, a red light flickered in the distance.

As if sensing someone approaching, a lamp was lit in one room on the first floor.

With eyes accustomed to the darkness, the outline of the pavilion came into view.

Come to think of it, the pavilion did look different from the one he had seen before.

The study, once thick with the smell of ink, had become a massive pavilion exuding the scent of incense.

Unlike that day, the pavilion’s windows were not open, so he could not tell what was happening inside.

Namgung Hyun let out a breath and stepped into the pavilion on his own.

At the Clan Head’s request, he had stayed behind at the Tang Clan estate instead of leaving with the Namgung Clan. And once he was alone, the Tang Clan Head had discreetly asked him a question.

Whether the Blood Sect’s antidote to the Gu poison was made from blood.

Unable to answer a question he had never heard before, Namgung Hyun hesitated. The Tang Clan Head then changed the subject, as if realizing he had misspoken, and spoke of something else.

He said he wished the headquarters’ pavilion could be restored to its original state.

Namgung Hyun thought he had managed his expression well, yet it seemed doubt was visible in the Tang Clan Head’s eyes.

Several excuses were added, but none of them were important.

Though the Tang Clan Head did not say it outright, he seemed to suspect that Tang So-hwa had placed secret manuals in the study.

Namgung Hyun guessed that Tang So-hwa had told the Clan Head as much.

And unlike the Tang Clan Head, he did not believe her words.

Step.

Namgung Hyun halted before the door from which the red light leaked through.

A shadow cast upon paper caught his eye.

The faint scent of incense drifting out and the elegant lines of her silhouette disturbed his heart. It was still difficult to be certain of what kind of feeling it was. Whether it was fear of the person who had once killed him, a sense of betrayal toward one who feigned affection, or something else entirely.

Standing before the thin door, Namgung Hyun realized that whatever his feelings were, he could no longer avoid her.

With a heavy hand, he opened the paper-sliding door.

Grrrk.

Inside the narrow Medical Hall stood Tang So-hwa. She had carefully shut the window and was gazing at a wooden bowl placed on the window frame.

Droplets fell steadily, filling the bowl. It was an object used to measure the passage of time. Not much time had passed—the water level had not yet crossed even a single red line.

Namgung Hyun felt the strength drain out of him.

He had thought she might be as tense as he was, but it seemed as though he did not exist in her mind at all.

He had even expected her to speak first, yet she said nothing.

He could not tell whether she meant to torment him or simply pass the time.

Could it be that reclaiming the study was truly her only purpose? Did she truly have no feelings for him at all? Had she approached him merely to use him?

Namgung Hyun knew there was no need to agonize so much—he could simply ask her himself—yet he remained silent for a long while.

It was not stubbornness.

Each time he tried to make a sound, fear surged up without warning.

There was an answer he never wanted to hear.

Unable to break the silence in the end, Namgung Hyun chose to evade once more, even in this moment.

He sat down on the floor and unpacked the belongings he had brought.

Rustle.

Intricate characters were drawn upon the wooden floor.

He intended to finish the task he had promised the Tang Clan Head and then leave.

“There is one more person who will be coming.”

Only then did a voice reach him.

Namgung Hyun’s gaze slowly lifted.

He asked stiffly, his voice oddly twisted with irritation.

“Who is supposed to come?”

Before Tang So-hwa could answer, Namgung Hyun spoke the person he had guessed.

“The Main Blood Hall Lord?”

“No.”

For a moment, Namgung Hyun’s expression subtly relaxed. Even he himself had not yet noticed the change.

But the answer Tang So-hwa gave next doubled the tension.

“The Blood Demon will come.”

Click.

As if the fading smoke were too precious to waste, Tang So-hwa placed the bowl over the incense so that it would burn more slowly.

A voice as unhurried as her movements followed.

“He tried to divert the Murim Alliance’s attention in order to enter the Tang Clan estate, so I sent them away quickly. He still seems mindful of public eyes, so I expect he will come tonight or perhaps tomorrow night.”

“Then why am I…….”

“I thought that if I kept you by my side, he would draw closer to me.”

Tang So-hwa’s eyes, which had been fixed on the bowl of water, shifted toward him.

“Wouldn’t he think that I am trying to turn back time?”

Namgung Hyun failed to control his expression.

He could not guess what his face looked like, nor did he have the leisure to think.

It sounded as though she were saying she would kill him, and every thought was wiped away. The resentment and sense of betrayal he had held back burst forth as the restraints came undone.

“What…… what have I done so wrong?”

He was not someone who easily revealed his emotions, yet even to his own ears, his unstable voice echoed through the room.

“What in the world did I do wrong for you to kill me, and to speak so calmly, without even a change in expression, as if you might kill me again…”

Namgung Hyun’s face twisted severely.

“I took on every danger for fear that something might happen to you, Young Lady Tang, and I even broke my promise with the Blood Demon. Yet what kind of ill will do you hold toward me, that you would use me like this and try to use me again as bait to lure the Blood Demon?”

Namgung Hyun’s body trembled finely.

He was angry.

No. It was not an emotion that could be defined so simply.

On the other side, he was being treated like an object.

It felt as though his heart were being torn to shreds.

It was not merely wounded pride, nor the feeling of having been fooled like an idiot.

The casual humiliation—like kicking a stone by the roadside without a thought—hit him far too hard.

Once again, it felt as though he had become a nobody.

And to the very person from whom he most wanted to be considered special.

He had thought it would not matter so long as he had her acknowledgment alone, but being treated as an object by her left him unable to regain his composure.

Namgung Hyun was someone skilled at managing his expressions. Yet now, he could not even perceive how the muscles of his face were moving. As if all sensation had melted away in the heat, he could feel nothing except that his face had grown hot.

So-hwa, facing Namgung Hyun’s torrent of words and expressions, slowly opened her mouth.

“You and I were husband and wife.”

Namgung Hyun flinched violently.

His expression took on a different quality, but So-hwa gave him no time to gather himself and continued speaking.

“By the Blood Sect’s command, the Young warrior entered the Tang Clan. Even after becoming a Tang by marriage, you aided the Blood Sect for many long years, and as you wished, you became the Clan Head of Namgung, and in your later years, you reclaimed the Namgung surname.”

At her calm, flowing voice, Namgung Hyun closed his mouth.

He did not doubt Tang So-hwa’s words. In truth, they had been his goals, and the very reason he had sought her out.

“In the previous life as well, the Blood Demon sent the Demonkin to Sichuan. However, the timing was different. It was after the Tang Clan had been expelled from the Murim Alliance and the young warrior had become the NamgungClan Head; much time had to pass before that day arrived.”

Tang So-hwa’s gaze moved toward the window.

“At the time, after becoming the Namgung Clan Head, you turned away from my father’s plea for help, and the Tang Clan was annihilated by demonic calamity.”

After checking the bowl of water, she continued without agitation, as calmly as though she were speaking of someone else’s story.

“After suffering demonic calamity, the Tang Clan estate was very different from how it is now. All the pavilions were reduced to ashes, and the bodies of familiar faces were piled up like towers.”

“That can’t be…… there’s no way I would have done that.”

As Namgung Hyun muttered, Tang So-hwa let out a smile whose meaning was unclear.

“You may not believe it, but this life is also the life you wished for.”

“The life I wished for? This?”

Namgung Hyun raised his voice as if it were absurd. Yet Tang So-hwa nodded.

She answered calmly.

“Yeon-ah of Wudang Sect is your lover, young warrior. On the day Sichuan suffered demonic calamity in that life, Yeon-ah, who pitied me, gathered reinforcements and personally went to the Tang Clan to fight. Though she lost her life on the battlefield, thanks to her, we were able to stop the Blood Sect’s eastward advance.”

So-hwa’s gaze flowed toward Namgung Hyun.

“After the demonic calamity ended, you lost your sanity over Yeon-ah’s death. You spoke strange words about turning back time, about reviving Yeon-ah, but in the end, you could not turn time back. Instead, as though holding me responsible for Yeon-ah’s death, you made relentless efforts to inflict suffering upon me.”

Her eyelids slowly lowered and lifted again, as though suppressing something.

“And about a year later, I killed you—who had become the Clan Head—and your entire retainers before taking my own life.”

“…….”

“I knew nothing of the young warrior’s secrets and did not wish to turn back time, but as you see, I ended up trapped in the sorcerer’s punishment.”

Namgung Hyun could not say a word.

The sorcerer’s punishment. Even within the Blood Sect, there were few who knew of it.

Hearing Tang So-hwa speak that term aloud, he could not deny it even if he wanted to.

“I was fortunate enough to meet an advisor who had turned time back hundreds of times on their own. I learned many things. One chance is enough for me this time, so I have no intention of turning time back again. If I fail…….”

After releasing a short breath, she said,

“I will accept it, thinking it was but a long dream.”

Her voice was even.

Rather than listless, it was light.

The voice of one who had once resolved herself to death.

Relief seemed deeper than regret.

She even offered consolation to the sorcerer.

“In my previous life, I died without pain, and in this life, you have achieved what you desired, young warrior.”

Beneath her cool gaze, the softly curved line of her lips carved itself into Namgung Hyun’s eyes.

“The Yeon-ah you loved so dearly is alive, and has not Namgung Clan’s regard already changed?”

As if coming to his senses, Namgung Hyun retorted,

“I may have loved Yeon-ah in the past, and I may not have abandoned my goal of becoming Clan Head, but that is not who I am now.”

“Yes, it may not be who you are now.”

When Tang So-hwa agreed so readily, Namgung Hyun’s brow twisted.

“The future you speak of, Young Lady Tang—I do not want it in the slightest. I have no intention of living that way. I am different from the person you saw! I am different!”

His drawn-out, almost sobbing voice pierced her ears.

So-hwa looked at him for a moment.

A thought she had felt continuously in this life returned to her through his voice.

So-hwa could not deny Namgung Hyun’s words.

“Yes. In this life, you may indeed be a different person from your previous one.”

“Then why, even so, do you still…… look at me that way?”

Namgung Hyun spoke as though appealing through his grievance.

So-hwa did not deny his words, yet she still did not waver. Neither her expression nor her tone changed.

As though someone who had found her answer after long contemplation, she calmly replied to his question.

“Because I am the same person.”

Her composed voice cut through the silence.

“I remember everything. Every day, I see with my own eyes that not only you, young warrior, but everyone else as well is no longer the person I once knew. Yet…….”

Strength went into the hand gripping the cup. The knuckles jutted out, and her fingers turned pale.

Soon, a voice suppressed with emotion leaked out.

“You and everyone else have forgotten everything and are dreaming a peaceful dream, while I alone cannot escape the nightmare. I must struggle with anxiety, fearing a hell that may come at any time…….”

Tang So-hwa closed her mouth.

To the Namgung Hyun of now, these were words he could not understand.

As he himself had said, he had not yet experienced it.

Thus, he could not know the depth of that resentment.

So-hwa drew in a deep breath and opened her mouth again.

“From now on, be wary of the Alliance Leader.”

It was a voice of a different grain. It was abrupt, and its intent was unclear.

Yet Tang So-hwa did not continue.

There was no time.

Turning her gaze to the window, So-hwa checked the bowl of water, then lifted the cup in her hand and set it aside. The faintly drifting smoke grew thicker.

“In this life, I will not kill you, young warrior.”

With those brief words, she pushed all her emotions away.

“For today, remember only that.”

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(T/N):

Tang So-hwa: “Because I am the same person.”

Me: DAAAAAAAAMMMNNNN~

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