Chapter 80. Desire

Namgung Hyun, who had been staring at the ceiling, lowered his gaze. He could see his upper body wrapped in cloth. Lifting his head again, Namgung Hyun waited for the physician to come.

Being doused in poison was an unexpected accident, but getting beaten by Namgung Gangchang had been his own choice.

Something had provoked Namgung Gangchang into crossing the line.

Namgung Hyun willingly allowed himself to be swept up in that outburst. Refusing when someone offers you their leash wouldn’t be polite. Of course, Namgung Gangchang likely thought he was holding a club, not a leash.

Namgung Hyun, still staring at the ceiling, let out a sigh.

That didn’t mean he felt good about it.

Namgung Hyun was irritated by his current state.

‘…Still, I only need to endure a little longer.’

He could endure it.

If he could become the Clan Head of the Namgung Clan and crush one by one those who had looked down on him.

If he could see with his own eyes their hollow expressions as they drew their final breath.

He could withstand this level of humiliation as much as necessary.

– “Young lord, you’re a direct descendant of Namgung, so there’s no need to be so cautious.”

Recalling Tang So-hwa’s words, Namgung Hyun let out a hollow laugh without realizing it.

The ignorant words of someone who had always been treated as a true descendant.

He scoffed at that voice and sighed bitterly.

Just then—

Creak.

The door opened, and Tang So-hwa appeared.

Namgung Hyun narrowed his eyes, wondering if he was seeing things. But the vision before him didn’t disappear.

Rather, proving she was no hallucination, Tang So-hwa furrowed her pale brow. She rolled her pitch-black eyes as she observed him.

“Are you all right?”

Startled, Namgung Hyun shot up and grabbed the robe thrown on the floor.

“Why is Lady Tang here…?”

Though he tried to cover himself, Tang So-hwa approached without concern.

“Please show me the wound again.”

“Ah, no, it’s nothing. I’m fine, just the clothes, please.”

Namgung Hyun reached out for the new clothes in Tang So-hwa’s hands. But she quietly pulled them back behind her.

“If you show me, I’ll give them to you right away.”

“It doesn’t hurt as much as it looks. It’s not a wound that needs treating, so there’s no need for you to trouble yourself.”

Namgung Hyun smiled as he declined her treatment.

He thought she might pity him and scold him, but Tang So-hwa instead spoke in a calm, understanding voice.

“Then at least let me tell you how to care for the wound.”

Tang So-hwa set the clothes down beside him and opened the box on the bedside table. After explaining the disinfecting method and the components of the ointment, she closed the box.

Handing over a small wooden case filled with medicine, she asked:

“Why do you let it happen?”

At those words, Namgung Hyun gave a short laugh.

“It seems Lady Tang thinks I’m strong.”

Tang So-hwa stared at him. She gazed at him with an unreadable expression for a while. Namgung Hyun felt uncomfortable under that gaze and asked:

“Lady Tang, don’t you know very little about me?”

“Even if I don’t want to know, I can see it.”

At those incomprehensible words, Namgung Hyun furrowed his brow.

Tang So-hwa lowered her gaze and looked at the old scars scattered across Namgung Hyun’s body.

“It seems Namgung Gangchang has tormented you for quite some time, yet you’re not afraid of him at all. No, rather, it felt like you were going easy on him. If even I felt that way, then Namgung Gangchang must’ve sensed it even more strongly.”

She fell silent for a moment before continuing.

“Even so, that man didn’t try that hard to establish the hierarchy.”

So-hwa extended her hand and pointed to the area around Namgung Hyun’s upper abdomen. The skin between his ribs was unblemished. She then withdrew her hand at a slight distance.

Namgung Hyun flinched.

Though she hadn’t touched him, a tickling sensation spread through his whole body.

“He didn’t touch the area where your dantian lies.”

Her hand moved from the middle dantian to the lower dantian, then rose to his shoulder.

“I heard he beat your upper body, but your arms and shoulder muscles were left untouched. It means he only vented his anger to the point you’d tolerate.”

As the soft touch withdrew, a fleeting chill lingered.

Tang So-hwa smiled as she looked at Namgung Hyun’s now expressionless face.

“I’m someone from a martial clan. I’ve grown up seeing countless martial artists carried into the Medical Hall after rank fights. Just from the scars left on the body, I can roughly tell the hierarchy.”

So-hwa withdrew her hand and leaned back, though her gaze still remained on him.

“This is why I told you not to endure it. Because they already know. They know that you stand above them in rank.”

As silence fell, a presence stirred near the door.

“Young lady.”

A maidservant cautiously called her. So-hwa’s gaze moved to the door. Since the Tang Clan Head had warned her not to enter the private room, she had to leave before anyone saw her.

“I should go now. I’ll leave you to change in peace.”

Namgung Hyun, who had merely listened until now, spoke as she turned to leave.

“Why?”

So-hwa’s gaze returned to him.

“Why are you being kind to me?”

At that question, So-hwa’s brows rose. As if asking what he meant.

“I don’t understand why you’re doing this for me.”

Namgung Hyun spoke in a calm tone, but he was in a deeply emotional state. He could no longer contain his confusion. It wasn’t a positive reaction. His expression was as cold as if he’d suffered a great insult.

“Are you trying to use me?”

Had Namgung Hyun not spoken his heart so bluntly, perhaps Tang So-hwa might have responded with sincerity of her own.

But instead, Namgung Hyun began to get angry—showing her a face she had never seen before.

“If you’re trying to use me to catch my brother Namgung Jin’s attention, you’re wasting your efforts. My brother doesn’t desire anything I have. In fact, he’ll lose interest in you.”

At the abrupt and out-of-place remark, So-hwa furrowed her brow.

“…I don’t understand why you’re suddenly bringing up the Young Lord.”

“That’s because..”

Tang So-hwa quietly waited for him to finish, but Namgung Hyun could not continue.

A sense of inferiority he had long suppressed suddenly surged to the surface. It was an ugly feeling he did not want to admit, and he regretted dragging the Young Lord into this. Though he came to his senses belatedly, the words had already left his mouth.

As Namgung Hyun faltered, Tang So-hwa spoke again.

“I don’t know what rumors are circulating in Namgung, but there has never been anything between me and the Young Lord Namgung Jin.”

She gave a small smile and added,

“Even if I did have such feelings, I’m not so pathetic as to use another person to beg for someone’s attention.”

“Then why…”

His mind was full of questions, but the more he examined them, the more pathetic he felt. He couldn’t bring himself to speak them aloud.

He hated being swept up in emotion, and had never experienced it before, but now his thoughts refused to settle. He hated this unstable feeling.

Clearing his mind of the other questions, Namgung Hyun returned to the one he had first asked—the thing he was most curious about.

“Why are you being kind to me?”

“To be honest, I’d like to ask you the same thing.”

She didn’t answer his difficult question, but instead asked her own in return.

“Is my behavior making you uncomfortable?”

Namgung Hyun should have said no.

After all, it was an order given to him from the start.

Two passages, and the daughter of the Tang Clan Head.

To become the Clan Head of Namgung, he had to deliver this woman into the arms of the Blood Demon. But now, it was as if his lips had been sealed shut with glue.

At his lack of response, So-hwa lowered her gaze.

“If it’s uncomfortable for you, I’ll be more careful.”

“I just don’t understand. I’ve done nothing. I’m not someone who can give you anything. My brother is the one with better looks and has a higher reputation, so why are you interested in me and not him, even though he shows interest in you?”

Namgung Hyun, as if he had never once received love in his life, reacted with hypersensitivity to the attention directed at him. For a moment, So-hwa couldn’t bring herself to speak.

It was the first time she’d ever had such a raw conversation with Namgung Hyun at this age.

So she didn’t know how to respond.

She was aware that he had been poorly treated within his clan and that he bore many wounds. But since he had always shown her a composed face, she hadn’t realized that twisted traces of pain still lingered in his heart.

Still unable to completely mask his emotions, the young Namgung Hyun doubted the sincerity of the attention given to him.

So-hwa did not take this as resentment.

In fact, she believed what he truly sought was the opposite.

Not indifference—but certainty.

It was the same kind of reassurance she had once longed for in her own youth.

Though it was not the same as the romantic affection Namgung Hyun seemed to describe, it was still a form of caring.

Reflecting on her own past, So-hwa slowly opened her mouth.

“If you ask why I’ve taken a liking to you, I honestly don’t know the reason either.”

A reply came to mind—one that had once given her certainty.

“Someone far older than me once said this: when the heart moves with reason, that’s called a companionship.”

It was something Tang Min had murmured drunkenly once.

She hadn’t wanted to hear it at the time and had let it pass—but now, the words flowed from her own lips.

“And when the heart moves without reason, that’s called fate.”

Seeing the shadow of her maidservant by the door, So-hwa gently concluded the conversation.

“I truly hope you recover quickly.”

With that farewell, she left the room.

Namgung Hyun stared at the door she had exited through, then lowered his gaze. On the bed lay the clothing Tang So-hwa had left behind.

Thud.

As he picked up the garments, he furrowed his brow—a small envelope had fallen from within the folds.

Inside was blank paper. A paper with nothing written on it, making it even more precious: Hwaji.

Namgung Hyun recalled Tang So-hwa’s promise to give him anything he wanted as a reward for the calligraphy bimu.

He didn’t change clothes. Instead, he simply touched the soft paper for a long while.

It was a gift that made his mind spin, just trying to think of what to write.

In the end, Namgung Hyun carefully tucked the paper into his robe.

And finally, he admitted to himself that he had, for the first time, been overwhelmed by desire.

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