Divines are blessed with a life ageless. Although we can die, we have to be killed. That, everyone knows. Yet this life brings about a certain caution and apathy that humans will simply not understand, although elves share it in common with us. That caution is the certainty that no matter what happens, no matter what option is chosen, we will be able to outlast the effects of the decision. Most of us are guilty of this pattern, some, like Neneria, are almost addicted to it. Mortals have a similar state, they start to analyse a choice they have to make and dig themselves into paralysis brought on by their own thoughts. It is not that they make the wrong choice, it is by the time they reach a decision the time for thought has long passed.

I would rather deal with some decisive and wrong than someone passive and right. Divinity, in fact, is despicable in this regard. There are Divines that would sit through the apocalypse rather than risk their own life and limb. I would call upon Elassa to Worldbreak, I would call upon Baalka to cleanse entire nations, I would call upon Kassandora to split the world apart, Irinika can bring on eternal night and Alkom can make night extinct, yet as bad as these decisions are, none of them are worse than the spiritual malaise of stagnation Divines wish to rot in.

It is not that I am arguing for constant action. Sometimes, a decision can be indeed to do nothing. However even when doing nothing, one must do it well. When a wolf-pack fights a bear, the correct decision is to do nothing. One cannot suddenly run, else one or the other of the predators will peel off to hunt the easier prey.

A bad decision executed brilliantly will outshine no decision whatsoever, each and every time.

– Excerpt from Arascus’ Writings: Untitled but dated to long before the Great War.

Aliana stared out at the sun. It was sliding down towards the horizon in a lethargic manner. Sometimes, days passed by in the blink of an eye. When Aliana had been training with Iliyal, the month had gone in a snap of the fingers. When Aliana talked and joked with her friends, there wasn’t enough time in her ageless life. And sometimes, like today, time crawled so slowly that it could drive even a Goddess mad.

Aliana always ran away to this spot when she felt overwhelmed. No one from the estate got out this far. Sometimes, only the gardener would walk by to check on the fields. It lay past a small section of trees, out from view from Richard’s home, on a river-bend. On the other side of the calm river, a flock of sheep looking like a giant cloud that sat on the ground slowly meandered over to the water as they came to take a drink. Aliana sighed, the sheep would have no answers for that. She knew that already.

And whereas there were days where she could simply stay out here and watch the sheep graze, the grass grow and the sun run away to reveal the stars in the sky, today, she did not have that luxury. Tomorrow, Malam would return and Allia would either have an answer for her or… Well, Aliana frankly had no idea what Malam would do. That was the worst part.

She had to talk to someone. Even if it wasn’t going to be productive or helpful, she had to talk to someone. Aliana pulled out her phone and rang the person she had spent the most time with recently. Agrita, they had served on the Rilian front together. They had fought against Fortia’s forces in the mountains, they had both been in utter awe at Anassa’s magnificent displays of power and they had both talked over what sort of Divines they were, when compared to a monster like the Goddess of Sorcery.

Agrita answered almost immediately. Of course she did. Agrita missing a phone-call was like Saksma taking a day off from work. Some things simply did not happen. “Hello? Aliana? How are you?” Agrita asked with that bouncy accent of hers.

“I’m fine.” Aliana lied and then caught herself immediately. Agrita caught her faster.

“You’re not.” Agrita said. “I can tell by the voice. What’s the issue?”

“Well…” Aliana did not know how to begin. Should she just spill everything? But then what would Agrita say. “Malam is having disagreements with Richard.” That summed the situation up.

“Oh.” Agrita said and quickly followed up. “But nothing bad will happen to you?”

“No.” Aliana said.

“And you’re not going to be in danger, are you? Malam likes you, doesn’t she?”

“I think she does?” Aliana asked. Did Malam like her? The Goddess wasn’t really sure. But then… “Iliyal likes me I think. I know Fer does.” She wasn’t sure about Kavaa though.

“Then you’re going to be good.” Agrita said. “Just be safe, don’t… Well, nothing bad is going to happen to you. I know it’s easy to say don’t worry, you can worry, but know you’re going to make it through this.”

“I know Agrita, I know.” That wasn’t the important part. Aliana wasn’t worried about herself… but then, wasn’t she? This wasn’t her problem. It was between Malam and Richard with his Shadow Council. Aliana wasn’t part of the discussion. Eleanor had shut her down. So why was she worried? “Sorry Agrita.”

“If you need me, then call.” Agrita said. “I’m here if you need to talk, honestly, I’m here for you.”

“Don’t worry. Thanks Agrita. I’ll ring again probably.”

“And if you don’t?”

“Then I’ll be fine.”

“Then I hope to not hear from you.” Agrita said slyly. “Love you Aliana.”

“Love you Agrita.” Aliana said as she stared out at the moving water. “Tomorrow, Malam and Richard are having the meeting.”

“Then why are you worrying today?” Agrita asked.

“I honestly don’t know.” Aliana lied. She knew exactly why she was worrying.

“When you have a problem then most of the stress comes from your own overthinking of that problem Aliana.” Agrita said. “Honestly, I know it’s easier said than done, but don’t worry about it. Go sit down at the riverbend.”

“I’m here.” Aliana said.

“Then watch the water, take a deep breath, and realise that no matter what happens, you’re still here, I’m here. Saksma and Paida and Olonia are here. And we’re all here for you.” Aliana felt her eyes tear up and blinked them away. Agrita never meant to, but she knew how to land emotional gut-punches.

“Thanks Agrita.” Aliana said. “Talk later.”

“Cry it out sweetheart.” Agrita said. Aliana laughed, wiped her eyes, and switched the phone off before Agrita could hear her sobbing.

Iliyal read through Fer’s report about Anarchia. The fact that one of the most powerful Goddesses in existence had the handwriting of a pigeon scratching a claw onto paper was not cute, not endearing, not fanciful and it evoked no pity in Iliyal’s heart. Instead, it made him seethe with a quiet, burning rage that he never dared show. Every word was a fucking battle.

Aliana stared with nothing but pure fear at Agrita’s name in her phone. She would not ring her again. No chance of that. That crying session had taken more than hour to air everything out. Did Agrita know what she did? Aliana didn’t know, but she had to admit that she did feel better. A weight had gone off her shoulders. Agrita was right at the end of the day too, no matter what happened, Aliana still had people she could turn to. Malam wouldn’t…

Well, judging from Lubska and Doschia, if Malam stepped in then Aliana would suddenly have far more responsibility thrust upon her. Aliana smirked to herself as she went to her next friend: Saksma. Saksma would not make her cry. The Goddess of Doschia was about as emotionally supportive as a brick wall. Saksma’s solution to solving issues was solving the material circumstances and hoping that would handle everything. Aliana pressed the call button as she looked at the water flow past her and the sheep graze. Those sheep had no worries in their lives.

For a moment Saksma wanted to be like the sheep. She knew she was lying to herself though. She did not want to be like the sheep. Saksma’s deep voice broke her out of the trance. “Halo? Ala?”

“Hey Saksma.”

“Hey.” Saksma said awkwardly and Aliana rolled her eyes. That was Saksma through and through.

“I have a problem.”

“Is it to do with Malam and Richard?” Saksma asked and Aliana blinked.

“What? How do you know about that?”

“Malam told me she was going to visit Richard.” Saksma said. “I was being presumptive but I assume I’m correct.”

“You are.” Aliana said and proceeded to explain the situation. There was no reason to get into the details, but Aliana went through the meeting, through the way Malam simply embarrassed Allia’s entire government, from the even more embarrassing meeting they had later where nothing got done. “And that’s it. Now I’m sitting by the river bend and looking at sheep.”

“That’s helpful always.” Saksma said and Aliana rolled her eyes. Saksma was correct to some extent, watching sheep did nothing. But then if Aliana knew what to do, she wouldn’t be counting the fucking sheep in the first place, would she?

“I rang for help you idiot.” Aliana said and Saksma laughed through the phone.

“Do you want me to tell you what to do or do you want me to list out the pros and cons of your choices?”

“I know the pros and cons.”

“Then the question is simple.” Saksma said.

“Is it?” Aliana asked.

“Do you love Allia the people, or do you love Allia the idea?” Aliana fell backwards onto the grass and stared up at the sky. Saksma did have a way of reframing things, didn’t she? “If you love the people, then you choose Malam and Arascus, because the results of Arascan rule speak for themselves. If you love Allia the idea, and think there’s something worth preserving there, then you go against Arascus. I won’t fight against you even if told to, but I’ll be honest, your chances don’t look too grand.”

“Thanks.” Aliana replied as she lay on the grass, she played with her gold-red locks of hair and watched a plane leave a white string of clouds behind it.

“I’m just honest. That’s the situation you’re in right now.”

“And you would do what?”

“Obviously Allia the people.” Saksma said. “That is what I chose for Doschia. I had a talk with Arascus, the man had a radical proposal I didn’t think of.”

“What is it?”

“The Doschian Mark will be phased out by the end of the year and Doschia will adopt the Imperial Mark instead.”

“You’re giving up your currency?” Aliana blurted out. That, she couldn’t believe whatsoever. Yet Saksma answered with so much pride and hope that it almost seemed sensible.

“The Doschian Mark is backed by faith in the Doschian economy.” Saksma chuckled. “The only way you can have faith in it right now is if you’re delusional. But the Imperial Mark? Kirinyaa is adopting it too. I’ve talked with Olonia and she’ll have to see how the situation will work out for Doschia first.”

“So you’re a test-bed for a currency?”

“That makes it sound like we’re taking a risk here.” Saksma said. “Everything is on fire, Arascus passed me a hose, I don’t care whether it’s water or yoghurt that comes out of that hose and if it’s fuel then at least I have someone to blame for the fire.”

“You’re terrible, you know that?” Aliana said. Saksma was indeed terrible. The woman wasn’t a schemer or a manipulator, she would simply say what she was going to do with a smile. The woman had always been like that too, honesty was a virtue and feeling good? Well, that was a luxury, wasn’t it? You didn’t have to feel good to survive.

“I’m honest.”

“You are.” Aliana said. “What would you say about rejecting Malam?”

And Saksma answered just as sincerely as when she was arguing for Arascus. “Allia is not Doschia. You have an economy and your ministers are better than mine. You’re in a good location too, as the gateway to Epa. You could probably align with Arascus, allow some military presence for the Rancais campaign coming up, Arascus would probably pay you for it if you managed the negotiations well. The blockade is over too. It won’t be back either, even if Malam says it will. I got news Tasaidien is leaving the White Pantheon.”

“What?!” Aliana burst out in shock.

“It’s from Helenna and I trust her.” Saksma said. “Even if there is a continuation war, Allia is not on the continent. I’d be expanding your farms no matter what happens, but you can probably just stay on your island and outlast everything.”

“Thanks.”

“Happy to help.” Saksma said. “Do you need anything else? I’m busy right now.”

“What are you doing?”

“There’s men loyal to the Ellenheims. I’m deciding how drastic I want to be.”

“Sounds like a lot.”

“It’s about as much as you do, but I don’t worry about these things.” Saksma replied. “Alright, see you later.”

“See you.” Aliana said and Saksma switched off the phone. After talking to Saksma… Aliana didn’t know if she was further or closer to her goal, but at least she didn’t cry.

Iliyal leaned back in his seat, closed his eyes and listened to the artillery outside. It was a scouting run, but Iliyal did not want Anarchia’s men to even step a foot into Doschia. He knew he should be keeping watch, but ever since he saw Fer’s state, he knew time was of the essence. Anarchia had to be contained in Rancais, that meant a frontline. This wasn’t like the frontline in Lubska, where Iliyal had pulled back and prepared trenches and traps. No, this one was so hasty that Iliyal may as well have taken his sword and slashed a front into the ground.

Aliana knew it had to be Paida. It had to be Paida now because Olonia had to be last. It was that simple. The sheep grazed. The sun closed the distance to the horizon. The river kept on flowing. Aliana’s mood recovered after that talk with Saksma. And she rang Paida. “Hello hello.” Paida said. “You’ve not chosen the best time to call.” There was shouting coming through the speaker.

“I’ll be fast.”

“Take your time.” Paida said. Something exploded. “Wait!” Paida said into the phone and over the course of a minute, ten more explosions came through. “There, speak now.”

“If you’re busy then that’s fine.” Aliana said.

“I’m protecting artillery. Divines are banned from the frontlines whilst we’re trying to work out on how to stop Anarchia.” Paida explained. “It’s a bad time for you because the artillery is shooting. I’m doing precisely nothing here.”

“Oh.” Aliana said. “Then…” She sighed and supposed she should explain the issue. Paida’s opinion was always the best out of everyone Aliana knew. She explained Malam’s meeting, then the second meeting, the embarrassment she felt and the fact she had called Agrita and Saksma.

“Mmh.” Paida said as men shouted through the phone. It was orders in Lubskan. “I can’t give you more than Saksma has if I’m going to be honest. She’s correct, your position is quite good already but that’s not your problem.”

“What is my problem?” Aliana asked.

“It’s the fact they’ve skipped over you and you feel left out.” Paida said. “That’s what you should be focusing on because if the issue was just a cost-benefit analysis, you wouldn’t be so emotionally invested in it as to ring all of us.” The Goddess of Rancais made a humoured exhale of air. “In fact, from how I know you, you’re the type to make the decision and then come bicker at us for it going wrong.”

“Sorry for that.”

“It’s whatever. I know you well enough not to care at this point.” Paida answered through the phone. “But like I said, why do you feel like this?”

“I…” Aliana exhaled as she looked at the sheep. They had it so easy, all they thought of was eating grass. “I don’t know Paida.”

“Well I’m not you Aliana.” Paida said. “I know you, I can predict your moves, but I’m not going to patronize you by putting thoughts in your mind. This is your problem to solve, and no one else can solve it for you.”

“That’s…” Aliana’s eyes travelled down to the water and the muddy bank. And Paida was correct, wasn’t she? The problem wasn’t one of Allia’s sovereignty or the blockade. The problem Aliana had was one within her own thoughts. “You’re correct.”

“I usually am.” Paida replied in that smarmy way only a person from Rancais could. The fact she could cover up her accent, but still purposefully embellished her words with that curling way her people talked in was just annoying. Aliana at least tried to speak formally.

“Yeah whatever.” Aliana said and Paida laughed. A series of explosions came through the phone and the Goddess of Rancais came back after another minute of firing.

“I’m happy to help.”

“What do you think I should do?” Aliana tore the band-aid off. It was hard to say, to Paida most of all, and she knew if she delayed her pride would recover quickly enough to stop her asking for help.

“You should take a side.” Paida said. “Even if it’s no one’s side but your own, you should take a side. Then at least you’ll be right or wrong and it’s easier to deal with that than with being static. If all you need is to step onto the field, then be the referee, if you need to play, then I would suggest Arascus.”

“Why?” Aliana asked, and Paida replied in a way that Aliana did not have a single counterargument for.

“Not out of any grand reasoning but because Olonia and Saksma are on his side, and I am more on it than I am not, and I would prefer if we all stuck together.” Aliana found herself smiling as she stared at the waters in silence. Paida caught onto the fact that she was stunned. “I knew you’d find that profound.”

“Fuck you.” Paida burst out in laughter at Aliana’s automatic response.

“Well the point stands. Anything else?”

“No.” Aliana said, she sighed heavily and she swallowed her pride. She had no clue why Paida sat so wrong with her frankly. She could talk to all of her friends, but something in Paida just didn’t sit right with her. “Thanks Paida. You helped.”

“Glad to be of service.” Paida said. “I have one thing to ask of you though, since you’ve called me.”

“What?” Aliana asked.

“I was talking with Iliyal. We want to begin bombing of Anarchian locations in Rancais.” Oh. Aliana saw what Paida wanted.

“You want access to Allian airbases?”

“How did you know?”

“Saksma mentioned it.”

“Well I do.” Paida said in that curling tone of hers.

“I’ll press Richard on it then.”

“I’d prefer if you tell him what to do, rather than press him.” Paida laughed.

“I’ll get it done.”

“I know you will.” Paida said and Aliana sighed. And just like that, something shifted in her mind. She didn’t know why or how Paida had done it, but a barrier shattered. Now, she had to approach Richard no matter what happened to secure those airbases. It wasn’t for Rancais and it wasn’t because Anarchia was some grand threat, it was because Paida asked her for them. And since she needed to talk to him for Paida, that meant she may as well talk to him about the fate of the nation.

To think the former was more pressing than the latter.

“No problem, thanks for your help.” Aliana switched off the call and looked at the water in awe. This is what friends were for, wasn’t it? But now, she needed to talk to the friend that started this mess in the first place.

Iliyal suddenly bounced out of his chair as he realised that he didn’t have to rely on Fer’s report in the first place! Malam had sent the Tremali brigade into Aris, did she not? Those men had returned! He had men who had direct experience with fighting Anarchia’s blessed soldiers!

Aliana took a deep breath and dialled Olonia’s contact on her phone as she watched the sun still slither its way to the horizon. The Goddess of Allia wondered for a few moments as she thought about the Goddess of Lubska. Olonia had always been ahead of them, it was obvious. Ever since Olonia had come back from that meeting in Arika, Olonia had an urgency in her that had spread to Saksma and then to Paida. It was a need that Aliana, quite honestly, was envious of. She wanted that burning under her feet that Olonia had. And it was why she had saved Olonia for last.

“Hello hello?” Olonia’s voice through the phone. That awkwardly high pitch that Aliana knew could turn into a roar at any time. It made the Goddess sound like a teenage girl frankly. “Ali? You there?”

“I’m here Ola.” Aliana replied heavily as she stared out over the field and the river.

“What did you call for?” Olonia asked. “I’m not complaining, it’s always lovely to talk, but I’m semi-busy.” There were voices coming the other side of the phone as if to confirm that Olonia was indeed busy. And keys tapping, or maybe it was footsteps.

“I…” Aliana asked. “I don’t know really. I don’t know what to do.”

“That’s a first.” Olonia said. Direct as always. Sometimes the brashness was annoying, this time though, Aliana appreciated the effortless way that Olonia could simply make her feel worse. Frankly, Aliana deserved it. “What’s the issue then?”

“Do you know Malam?” Aliana asked. She didn’t know why it was suddenly so much harder. Although in the next breathe, Aliana realised she was lying to herself. It was because Agrita, ever supportive, Paida, ever diplomatic, and Saksma, ever pragmatic, did not have a chance in hell of convincing Aliana. But Olonia did not care about reasoning, she did things for herself.

Olonia laughed through the phone. “Well I think I do Aliana. I think I do.” There was a quick series of footsteps and then a slam of the door. What was the girl even doing?

“So can I just give it to you straight then?” Aliana asked.

“Aliana, if a year ago someone told me you would be coming to me for advice, I would ask for them to share what they were drinking. Sure, give it to me straight.” Aliana laughed at her friend for a moment.

“So what happened is… where do I even begin?”

“From the start.” Olonia answered flatly. “Arrest him and him.”

“What?”

“I’m just doing house-cleaning Ali. That wasn’t for you. Go from the start.” The woman was arresting people as she was on the phone? Well, that was in character for Olonia frankly. Anyone else wouldn’t have answered.

“I’ll just sum it up then. Malam came to us, she said she would break the blockade if Allia joined Arascus’ Empire. Richard thought it was a bluff, he called the bluff. There’s no blockade and now…”

“Don’t worry about it.” Olonia suddenly said.

“Huh?”

“That wasn’t for you. Wait, give me a moment.” Olonia said. Her voice was suddenly slightly more distant, as if she was pulling the phone away from herself. “Yes, these two. Then arrest him. Leave his team, I don’t care about them.” Then came the tapping of nails on a board. “And this one, you throw in the river. Make sure someone finds him by tomorrow.”

“What are you doing?”

“I’m killing one man, arresting twenty-three others.” Olonia replied into the phone. “And in turn, I’m halting a counter-coup against me and saving Lubska from another war.”

“Oh.”

“I don’t like it, but that’s how its done.” Olonia said and sighed. “Frankly Ali, you know what?”

“What?”

“I can’t help you.” Aliana blinked in surprise as she stared at that river and the sheep grazing behind it. One of them pulled its head up and looked at the Goddess on the other side, decided it wasn’t interested, and then went back to grazing.

“You can’t help me?”

“Do you feel bad about it? You obviously do from your tone. I’m sure you’re smart enough to know Arascus knows how to rule. And obviously I’ve not complained to you about him either, have I? We fought with his help, I’ll be the one who says it, where if it wasn’t for Iliyal coming over to assist, then there wouldn’t be a Lubska right now. I’m biased too, because Fer saved my life in battle, so I feel like I owe her, but even if she didn’t, I would still be working with Arascus.”

“Why?” Aliana asked.

“Because it’s the first time in my life that I feel respected.” Olonia said. “That’s why. I’m making decisions for myself, whether they’re wrong or right, they’re mine.”

“That’s it?” Aliana asked, she feared this response, because this response clicked. The moment Olonia began, it had clicked. Aliana knew she wanted to feel that way too. What was a Divine without respect? Was Aliana even a Goddess? Or was she just a mascot figurehead?

“That’s it.” Olonia replied simply.

“Do you think I can?” Aliana asked and heard how stupid the question was the moment the words left her mouth. Of course she could. Why wouldn’t she be able to? The sheep on the other side started move slowly move as one giant cloud of wool on the green grass as Olonia gave Aliana the best answer possible. Sometimes, the blunt Goddess of Lubska had a way with words that put everyone else to shame.

 “I don’t know Aliana, you tell me, can you?”

Humans: blessed. Stronger than normal. Still easy to kill. Can throw things good. Saw one punch through a wall. Jump very high. Where troublesome for Paida. Strong then? Strength-wise I would give them a 2 if a human is a 1 and a standard Divine is a 3. Anarchia leeches power. Suspicion is that she steals strength, then shares it out. Unblessed followers were spotted <- No sense for this if she can bless. Likewise, huge difference in follower capability. Could be like magic where proficiency important, but don’t think so. Anarchia’s leeching needs to be close. Within roughly fifty feet. Organization minimal: chaotic. Beastmen adjacent but not like a warherd, obviously no pack-master or captain equivalents. Gut feeling is very high individual proficiency, but low organisation, definitely problem if blessed Anarchians get into urban areas, but seem to have very little warfare capability.

– Fer’s Anarchia report (Transcribed by Iliyal Tremali into electronic format)

Aliana looked down at her phone. She didn’t have Malam’s number, but she had Helenna’s. Maybe that was for the best.

Olonia had convinced her.

It was time to make a damn decision on something in her life.

Source: Webnovel.com, updated by NovelKeep