Chapter 62: Chapter 63: The pantry

Lena’s POV

I left Elara’s chambers feeling like I’d been slapped.

The conversation had been brief, but her tone had carried a sharpness I had never heard from her before. Not at me, anyway. There had been something cold behind the words, something that made me feel as though I had been measured and found wanting. As I walked down the corridor, her expression replayed in my mind again and again.

Had I said something wrong?

The thought made my stomach tighten.

I forced myself to keep walking toward the servants’ quarters, trying to steady my breathing. The castle corridors were quieter now, the torches along the walls burning low, casting long shadows that seemed to move as I passed.

Too much had happened in a single day. Kaelen’s dismissal. Malakor collapsing. And her talking down at me like I was nothing.

She had never spoken to me like that. Never looked at me like I was nothing more than a servant who had overstepped.

We were friends. At least I made her think that way.

I just wanted to reach my bed and forget the day. Forget the way she had said “that’s Your Majesty” like I was dirt beneath her shoes. What a bitch.

As I passed the pantry, a strange sound made me pause.

At first I thought it was someone moving supplies, perhaps a late servant fetching food or wine for some lord who couldn’t sleep. But then I heard something else. Low laughter. Whispered voices. The soft rustle of movement that had nothing to do with sacks of flour or barrels of grain.

Frowning, I pushed the door open.

The sight inside stopped me cold.

A chambermaid and a palace guard were tangled together in the narrow space between the shelves. Her back was against the wall, her skirts bunched up around her waist. His hands were on her hips, his mouth on her neck. They were clearly having a private moment where they thought no one would find them.

The chambermaid gasped when she saw me. Her eyes went wide with horror. She shoved at the guard’s chest, trying to push him away.

But I barely noticed her.

My eyes were fixed on the guard.

I recognized him immediately.

The same man who had cornered me in the corridor just last week. The same man whose hands had been on my waist, whose mouth had been against mine.

Heat flooded my face as humiliation burned through my chest. He had been with me just days ago. Whispering things. Touching me like I mattered. And now here he was, pressed against another girl in the pantry like I was nothing.

The chambermaid scrambled to straighten her clothes, muttering hurried apologies as she rushed past me and fled the pantry entirely. The door slammed shut behind her, leaving me alone with the guard.

My anger had nowhere else to go.

I struck him in the chest, shoving at him, my voice sharp with accusation. “You snake! You absolute snake! Just last week you were—” I couldn’t even finish the sentence. The words stuck in my throat.

He caught my wrists easily, his grip firm as he tried to quiet me before someone passing in the corridor heard the noise. “Lena. Lena, stop. Someone will hear.”

“Let them hear!” I struggled against his grip, furious that he could stand there so calmly after making such a fool of me. “Let the whole castle hear what kind of man you are! Let them hear how you whisper sweet words to one girl and then stick your tongue down another’s throat days later!”

“Keep your voice down.” His eyes darted toward the door. “Do you want every guard in the palace to come running?”

“Maybe I do! Maybe I want them all to see what a lying, cheating—”

“It wasn’t cheating.” He cut me off, his voice low and steady. “We’re not together, Lena. We never said we were together.”

He was right. He’d touched me, kissed me, made me feel wanted for the first time in months. But he’d never promised anything. Never said words like “together” or “only each other.”

I thought of Kaelen. Of how long it had been since a man had really touched me. Kaelen only ever saw me as a friend despite everything I had and would do for him. Despite the years of loyalty, of waiting, of hoping he would finally see me the way I saw him. He never did. He never would.

“It meant nothing,” the guard said, his voice softening slightly. “The other girl meant nothing. It was just… an urge. A moment. She was there and I was… you know how it is.”

“Do I?” My voice came out smaller than I wanted.

“You know how lonely it gets in this place.” He released my wrists but didn’t step back. “You know how it feels to want someone to just… touch you. Hold you. Make you feel like you’re not invisible.”

I did know. God help me, I knew exactly what he meant.

“It’s been a long time for me,” I heard myself say. The words slipped out before I could stop them. “A really long time since anyone… since I felt…”

“Since you felt wanted?” He finished the sentence for me.

I nodded, not trusting my voice.

His expression shifted. The amusement faded. Something else took its place. Something softer. More careful.

“I remember how you felt in my arms last week,” he said quietly. “The way you melted when I touched you. The sounds you made.” He stepped closer. “You’ve been thinking about it, haven’t you? Since then?”

“Yes,” I whispered.

“I’ve been thinking about it too.” His hand came up to my face, fingers brushing my cheek. “About the way you looked at me. The way you said my name. The way your body fit against mine.”

“You were just with someone else.” The words came out weak, pathetic.

“She didn’t matter. She was just… warm. Available.” His thumb traced my jawline. “You’re different, Lena. You know that.”

“Do I?”

“You feel it too. I can see it in your eyes.” He leaned closer. “So long, isn’t it? Since someone really touched you? Since someone made you feel like you weren’t alone?”

I thought about Kaelen again. About how long it had been since we’d been anything but co-conspirators in a plan that felt like it was falling apart. About how empty my bed felt every night. About how hungry I was for someone to just… see me.

“Too long,” I admitted.

“Then stop fighting.” His mouth was close to mine now. “Stop being angry about something that didn’t mean anything. Let me make you feel good. Let me remind you what it’s like to be wanted.”

I should have pushed him away.

I should have thought about Kaelen. About the plan. About Elara’s cold eyes and everything I still needed to do.

But all I could think about was how long it had been. How empty I felt. How much I needed someone to touch me like I mattered.

So I let him kiss me.

His kiss wasn’t gentle. It was urgent, tasting of the other woman, a fact that made my stomach twist with a sick mixture of jealousy and a dark, perverse heat, and of desperation. He backed me up until my spine hit the rough wood of the shelving unit, jars of dried herbs rattling ominously.

“I shouldn’t be doing this,” I gasped against his mouth, even as my hands fisted in the fabric of his tunic, pulling him closer.

“No,” he agreed, his hand sliding down to grip my backside, hauling me up until my feet left the floor. I wrapped my legs around his waist, the friction of my uniform skirt bunching at my hips. “But you are. And you want to.”

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