“Hyung.”

My younger brother smiled. The palm pressed tightly against my neck was hot.

— If you swallow, you’ll be okay!

Rin, that guy! Luckily, he wasn’t choking my neck, but the temperature I felt was gradually rising. Grace-wise, wait a second. I haven’t gotten my grace back yet. Still, Rin was speaking.

‘Is it because pre-regression me and I are connected?’

Rin can talk thanks to the mana well. It’s not the damage immunity effect. Mudo also did mana connection, so if he and I can, then it should be possible. But now damage immunity is more urgent than mana — I wonder if I can’t get that.

“Yuhyun, calm down.”

“Okay, hyung.”

I felt Yuhyun’s mana flowing in, searching my neck. It wasn’t through a skill, but direct mana trying to penetrate.

Mana exists in human and monster bodies. Directly interfering with another’s mana is extremely difficult. That’s why Yerim can’t freeze or control moisture inside another’s body, and Seong Hyunje can’t move others by electrical signals.

Unless the rank difference is huge. Even if S-rank, they can’t touch B- or C-rank mana directly, but F-rank, well…

And I’m F-rank, Yuhyun is S-rank.

“Wait, hey…!”

The familiar force began to rummage inside my body. Maybe because of my earring raising my mana stat above F-rank, or the mana well making my mana amount at least S-rank, it couldn’t easily penetrate. Still, it pushed in little by little steadily.

“Ugh, Han Yuhyun!”

My neck stung and spine tingled. The mana mark reacted to the sudden intrusion. My younger brother hesitated at the unexpected repulsion unfit for F-rank, but still didn’t retreat.

“Yuhyun, ah! Stop!”

I thought he’d burn me if he lost control, but this was unexpected. What would happen if another’s mana completely took over and dominated a body? I’d never heard of such a thing.

Though unfamiliar, instinctive fear surged. The fear resistance skill window popped up. This was definitely dangerous. I resisted the mana from my brother trying to spread throughout my body, borrowing the power of the mana mark.

“Yuhyun! Ugh, Han Yuhyun!”

I tried to pry off the hand choking my neck, but it didn’t budge. I raised my leg and kicked him.

“Ugh.”

Only my foot hurt, of course.

“Be careful. You’ll get hurt doing that.”

“Don’t tell me what to do!”

Damn it, I’m trying to talk!

“Yuhyun, sorry. Hm? Just… listen to me…”

“Don’t apologize. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Despite his actions, my brother’s voice was truly gentle. …He wasn’t in his right mind. The crescent moon was largely to blame, but it was still my fault. It was my fault, but that didn’t mean I could just stand by.

Gritting my teeth, I pulled a dagger from my inventory and stabbed Yuhyun’s arm. A sound like something impossible to be flesh scraping was heard—only faint scratches remained, and my brother showed no reaction.

He was focused only on invading inside me. Stabbing again made no difference.

“Don’t stab your hyung. But I won’t stop.”

“Let go of my neck! I’m choking to death!”

Though he still pressed down, the hand around my neck loosened. At the same moment, I discreetly drew a gun held in the other hand and aimed at his chest. So focused on me, he didn’t notice mana charging.

Without hesitation, I pulled the trigger.

Bang!

The mana bullet hit Yuhyun’s chest. Not fully charged, but enough to push him back. His body was flung into the air, spinning lightly like a leopard and landing on the floor. The loosely worn armor shook violently. The Chinese-style inner clothes were torn, revealing a broad chest.

Beyond the dim bed, red-tinged eyes stared at me.

This noise wouldn’t bring anyone. Maybe I should have shot at the wall or ceiling instead.

“Calm down.”

Yuhyun’s lips parted slightly at my words. It felt like facing a wild beast ready to attack me anytime, not my brother. I imagined sharp fangs bursting from those lips. Such thoughts crossed my mind.

Without rushing off the bed, I sat up, holding the white gun, slowly stroking the muzzle.

“What’s your plan? Speak first. And the reason.”

“I thought I was the most important thing to you.”

“That’s right.”

“Then why did you say sorry? Why pity me?”

My brother spoke as if unable to understand.

“If you cherish me most by your side, I can never be pitied.”

“Yuhyun.”

“I’m not sad, not tired, not lonely. If it weren’t for you from the start, I wouldn’t feel any of those emotions. I was born this way.”

Yuhyun pointed to his chest.

“You made me who I am now. No one else can make me feel anything. They’re all the same, like wooden blocks. I only distinguish through you. People who help you, people who can hurt you, people you cherish. No, not people, beings. Monsters or humans make no difference to me.”

“…But you get along well with Yerim and Peace.”

“Yes. They’re similar to me, at least regarding you. But if you disappear, they all vanish. The world where we can stand together will disappear.”

My brother’s voice was calm, but his gaze was sharp enough to cut skin. His hand clenched and unclenched slowly, as if wanting to rush at me again.

“So if you abandon me, I…”

“Abandon? No!”

The carpet burned. But not even smoke or smell came out. It was literally a fire that devours everything. What floor was this? If I shot the floor and broke through, would my body be safe?

“I would’ve endured before.”

Yuhyun murmured quietly. His current behavior was abnormal… from my perspective. Of course, Yuhyun should hold back and stop.

The moment my eyes carelessly dropped, Yuhyun moved. In an instant, my arm was grabbed and twisted behind my back, face slammed into the bed. No resistance, no chance to utter a sound.

“Ugh!”

A hot pain spread from the mana mark on the back of my neck. It felt like being bitten hard. Then his hand pressed my back, and his mana invaded as if trying to control the mana mark.

A chill ran down my spine.

“…!”

Yuhyun suddenly released the hand pressing me. Simultaneously, an unfamiliar mana faintly felt from behind my back.

“My…”

Yuhyun’s mana, and the black dragon’s mana.

“…This is for only your twenty-year-old self.”

Though it wasn’t a cake.

“And your birthday is coming soon, too.”

Silence fell. I sat up. Suddenly I wondered if I was truly a perfect guardian. Of course, I did my best caring for my brother.

But that best was based on my standards. Specifically, I pushed him into the social framework I knew and learned. As long as he looked human, if he didn’t fit society’s mold, it would be Han Yuhyun who was cut out. Still…

‘If raising means raising as you wish, then I’d deserve a title.’

Is it right to demand understanding and acceptance unilaterally?

“Sorry for making you anxious. But I won’t leave you.”

“…Hyung.”

Behind me came a deep breath. Rin ran to me and clung to the back of my hand.

— Yuhyun isn’t at fault! That’s just how it is!

“Yeah, I know.”

I turned around. There was my brother, face marked with confusion.

“Yuhyun, I can’t fully understand you.”

His shoulders twitched.

“Like a hen clutching eggs freaks out seeing ducklings enter a pond, I can’t easily accept what you want.”

“……”

“The world I know and live in is about digging in dirt and grass. Making friends, dating, having family and kids, growing old. So I worry and feel uneasy about you only looking at me. Even now, I sometimes think I should change things. You’re my brother, after all.”

I had changed my thoughts over many events. I tried to understand him and thought if Yuhyun was happy, I had no choice.

It was the same for Han Yuhyun. Trapped in my framework, he endured and began to reveal his instincts and desires.

“I want to be what you want me to be…”

“You probably had trouble understanding me too, right?”

Yuhyun hesitated, then nodded. I recalled the younger version of my brother. Maybe the whole society was a strange world to him. That’s why he could barely connect except through me.

Rin also joined in.

— Hyung’s got too much heart! He only needs the one he loves most!

“People live by mingling.”

— I know, but we don’t need that!

“That’s right. We’re different.”

Different, not wrong.

“Maybe you and I will never fully understand each other. Even for ordinary people, that’s hard. But even if you became a completely different being in another world, I’ll stand on the shore and wait for you.”

Even if you became a creature breathing underwater like you.

“You can’t breathe underwater like me, but you can dip your feet in the waves. You could even poke your head out. No, you already did. Thank you, my brother.”

I reached out and hugged him. My little brother held my hand and smiled, and I was so happy.

“You don’t have to come all the way out. Live by giving and taking a little. If you were completely free—”

“No. That’s…”

Yuhyun shook his head.

“You said you liked me the way I am.”

“Yeah. I like you too. And Yuhyun, you know, I loved you before you even looked at me.”

That’s why I raised the current Han Yuhyun.

“Making you like this was my selfishness too. I wanted you to be happier, better. It was for you, but still selfish. Thanks for liking my selfishness.”

Hyuna once said there’s no such thing as a kind, obedient kid in a harsh environment. A kid is a kid. Like she said, a child who’s an angel before a guardian is just enduring with all their might. Adults can’t give up everything they want, fight, and fall out.

“So I’ll give in too.”

“…Give in?”

“No swallowing me whole. I’ll resist and run like today.”

Yuhyun’s expression darkened.

“Sorry, hyung.”

“No, I understand… it’s hard, but it’s okay. I’ll believe it’s natural.”

It’s instinctual, after all. Like a beast that bares teeth when hungry after being calm when full. Usually he endures well. That made me proud.

“But if, inevitably, I leave you first.”

I took a deep breath. Still felt resistance.

“Then you can follow me.”

“…Hyung?”

“I won’t ask you to live in this broken world.”

By my social and moral standards, I could never say that.

…How to live long? Now that I said this, I have to find a way to extend my life. Rin said thousands of years are impossible, but at least a hundred.

Yuhyun blinked. Surprised and embarrassed, his lips curled slightly.

“You hate me. Even if you hate me, I probably won’t live anyway.”

“If only you endured, it’d be enough? ➤ NоvеⅠight ➤ (Read more on our source) I have to endure too. Both of us.”

After hesitating, my brother smiled brightly.

“Thank you, hyung.”

“No, I should be the one thanking you. And sorry too. I’ll probably keep making mistakes and apologizing in the future. I’m not perfect.”

A perfect guardian, indeed. I’d make mistakes again, try to fix them, and sometimes choose wrongly. If asked if this was proper behavior, I couldn’t nod.

I was just trying hard, thinking and worrying, hoping to get a little better.

“So Yuhyun, don’t bend too much for me. We hardly ever fought, right? You awakened, we drifted apart, stayed apart, and after regression, we fought. It’s natural to clash when we’re different people.”

“But I like you no matter what, hyung.”

“What? Just now you said you can’t help but hate me. Then smiled happily.”

Yuhyun looked embarrassed, rolling his eyes. Having endured so much, he barely understood his own feelings.

I swallowed saliva in my slightly dry mouth.

‘About pre-regression Yuhyun…’

Should I say it? I still hesitated. If I brought it up, we’d surely fight. The current Yuhyun would never accept that I wanted to take back the brother the white bird took. Rationally, giving up would be right. The living rather than the dead.

…but how could I do that?

Neither I nor Yuhyun would ever back down.

‘…It hurts.’

“Hyung?”

“Oh. Yerim and Yunyun went to get clothes. Have they come back?”

I finally got off the bed without saying more. Someday I’d have to tell him, but after all that happened, maybe if we keep understanding each other, it’d be easier later.

“We should wash up too. You and me. They say you can burn away the stains, but it feels better to wash properly. I have to wake Noah too.”

After opening the guest room door, my brother followed me like a little duckling.

Source: Webnovel.com, updated by NovelKeep