Chapter 40: Chapter 40: I’m Afraid to See Him

Lila POV

I forced the corners of my lips up, trying to squeeze out a smile that fit the moment. “Zoe, you did a wonderful job. Very… successful.”

My voice was as raspy as sandpaper on wood. I knew she was laying the groundwork for me, trying to help me pry more clues from Lilith about what my uncle knew. But at that moment, Caleb’s words—’My father had me watch you’ and ’I’m the one who let you down’—swirled in my mind like a curse, making the “good news” Zoe brought feel utterly insignificant.

Zoe, being as sharp as she was, immediately sensed that something was wrong. Her eyes, which usually held a mischievous glint, were now unusually piercing. She tilted her head, leaned in closer, and scrutinized me. “Lila, something’s not right with you.”

She reached out to feel my forehead, then squeezed my icy fingers. “You don’t have a fever. Is it trouble at work? Or… did you meet someone?”

I avoided her searching gaze and gave a soft “mm” in reply.

Zoe sighed, then suddenly stood up and patted my shoulder, her tone becoming uncharacteristically serious. “Alright, seeing you like this, I won’t stay and bother you. I just remembered I have to meet a jewelry designer tomorrow and need to prepare.” She walked to the foyer, slipped on her delicate high heels, then looked back and gave me a wink, reverting to her usual impish demeanor.

“Don’t overthink it, Mommy.” She smiled playfully and pointed upstairs. “If you run into a problem you can’t solve, or if you’re just in a bad mood and want someone to talk to… feel free to go bother Jasper. At this hour, he’s most likely in his study, wrestling with his files again.”

She gave me a little fist pump of encouragement, then left as breezily as a gust of wind.

The villa fell silent once more.

I was alone again, with the oppressive silence of the house and the somewhat cold light cast by the crystal chandelier overhead.

’Jasper is in his study.’

Zoe’s words were like a stone tossed into a deep pond, sending ripples through my heart. ’Should I go to him?’ The thought had barely surfaced before I forced it back down.

My meeting with Caleb this afternoon lay like a heavy stone on my chest, constricting my breath.

On the one hand, I was worried Jasper would misunderstand. Caleb had, after all, been an exceptionally important person in my life—the “family” I had once given my heart to and lived with for fifteen years. Though I no longer felt any love for Caleb, only the cold sting of betrayal, what would Jasper think? ’Does he think I’m still clinging to the past? Does he think my resolve wavered even for a second when I saw Caleb?’ Would a man as powerful and possessive as him be displeased by this, or even… angry?

On the other hand, the meeting had been pathetically fruitless. Aside from offering some useless apologies and trying to convince me to give up, Caleb hadn’t given me any substantive information. He even dodged my questions about how I was brought into the Goodrich family fifteen years ago. I wasn’t sure if such an unproductive meeting was even worth reporting to Jasper. ’If I tell him, will it seem like I’m too dependent on him? But if I don’t, it will feel like I’m hiding something, or deliberately avoiding the topic.’

’This state of indecision, of constantly second-guessing myself, feels foreign and shameful. Since when have I become so timid and hesitant around Jasper?’

I paced outside the study door for a long time, like a weary bird unable to find its nest.

Through the crack in the door, I could see the warm, yellow light inside, steady and calm. I could faintly hear the soft, rhythmic rustle of pages turning—a soothing sound. That was Jasper’s presence: composed, powerful, and carrying a reassuring strength.

But I just couldn’t make my feet move.

’I was afraid of disturbing his work, but I was even more afraid to face those sharp eyes of his, eyes that could see through everything and strip away all my defenses.’

“How much longer are you going to stand outside the door?”

A deep, magnetic voice, tinged with a hint of amusement, pierced the heavy wooden door without warning and fell clearly upon my ears.

My entire body went rigid. It felt as if an invisible hand had seized my heart, only to release it into a frantic, pounding rhythm. My cheeks burned hot, and the shame and embarrassment of being caught in the act washed over me like a tidal wave.

The door swung open silently.

Jasper stood in the doorway, dressed in dark gray silk loungewear with the collar slightly open, revealing his elegant collarbones. He held an open, antique-looking book in one hand, while the other rested casually on the doorframe. His eyes, as deep as a winter pond, held a hint of fond exasperation as he studied me with amusement, his gaze finally landing on my hands, which were nervously clenched in the fabric of my skirt.

“Eavesdropping isn’t a very good habit, Lila.” A playful smirk touched his lips, his voice a low, lazy rasp. “Or perhaps you’ve discovered some extraordinary treasure outside my study, and you’re just deliberating on how best to report it?”

His gaze made my cheeks burn even hotter. The sheer mortification made me wish I could vanish on the spot. My throat felt clogged, and I couldn’t form a single sound.

“I… I wasn’t eavesdropping.” I finally managed to squeeze out the words, my eyes flitting about nervously, unable to meet his—those eyes that felt like they could rob me of my ability to think. “I was just… passing by. I just happened to be in the area.”

“Passing by?” The word was tinged with utter disbelief. Without any warning, he reached out a long arm and pulled me straight into the study, his movements forceful and allowing no resistance. Then, he hooked the door shut with the tip of his foot, sealing us off from the chill of the hallway.

The study was filled with the faint scent of cedarwood, the inky fragrance of old books, and a subtle, crisp aroma that was uniquely Jasper’s. The fire crackled in the hearth, casting his shadow long and warm, completely enveloping me in his presence and his shade.

“Lila,” he said, not loosening his grip on my wrist. Instead, he pulled me gently until I was pressed against the edge of the heavy wooden desk. He leaned down, planting his hands on either side of me and boxing me in. His face was so close I could feel his breath, and the searching look in his eyes was too intense to ignore. “This whole villa is about to collapse under the weight of your gloom. And I’ve heard you met with someone you shouldn’t have this afternoon.”

The powerful, familiar strength radiating from him, mixed with his reassuring scent, wrapped around me like a gentle net, slowly but surely crumbling the last of the defenses I had held up all day.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, my senses filling with his scent. Beneath that cool, imposing aura, I could sense an almost imperceptible warmth. I finally decided to stop hiding.

“Jasper,” I said, opening my eyes to look at his handsome face, which was mere inches from mine. His deep eyes held none of the judgment I expected, only a quiet patience. My own voice held a tremor of exhaustion I hadn’t even been aware of. “Yes. I saw Caleb this afternoon.”

For a moment, the air seemed to freeze.

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