Chapter 59: Chapter 59: Cats Always Land on Imps

The saying goes that cats always land on their feet. Well, flying as I am, high in the air, watching the farm spin wildly, I decide to test that old bromide.

I somersault badly. I float. I fall. I stretch out my legs, extending my claws, and aim directly for whichever imps are below me.

I’m fighting imps, which can’t be that threatening, right?

[Common Imp. Level 2. Magic Bonus: Cantrips.]

So, they’re not particularly powerful, but they can cause trouble with cantrips.

You wanted trouble, imps? It’s raining down on you. It’s raining cats and no dogs. That’s what happens when you mess with a hard-working farmer who’s just trying to eke out a living and have a decent life. And the land isn’t too happy with you, either.

The chickens apparently don’t care for it, because they come out clucking, squawking, and making enough noise to wake up even the placid cow snoozing in the pasture. A peaceful, ordinary farm day has turned into chaos.

It gets better. The imp below me screams when I crash into him. CRUNCH. Whose body is crunching? OUCH. Mine! And maybe the imp’s.

I hear a screeching noise like feedback on a microphone or telecom system. It takes me a minute to comprehend that the screeching noise is the imp’s language. Roughly translated, it probably means, “Get off me, you animal, I’m hurt!”

No tears here. Sorry, not sorry. I roll aside, the soft embrace of the dirt comforting me, even as earthy soil gets in my nose and mouth. Spitting out the dirt, I roll over and stand upright, getting my bearings.

[New Skill Unlocked: Super Jump.]

Well, score one for me. I guess I owe the imps a thank you, not that I’ll admit that to them.

“Blaze!” Kaline sounds equal parts worried and relieved. “Are you hurt?”

Shaking out my legs first, I give a “mrrrp” in the negative. I’m a little sore from my landing, but it doesn’t seem to be anything serious. I bump my nose up against Kaline, who’s covered in dirt, with pieces of plants stuck to her face.

I make another “mrrp” sound. [You might want to wipe your cheeks.]

Kaline uses her sleeve to dab at her cheeks. [It’s fine. A little dirt is not going to do me any harm.]

How did I get so lucky? Kaline is such a good sport. She’s unquestionably a girl who likes dressing up and being a girl, but she also doesn’t mind getting dirty and having adventures. She comes by it honestly. Vedette may look like the family princess, but she’s much more complicated than I thought. I bet she wouldn’t hesitate to help Mrs. Threadgood with her imps–

What am I doing? The imps are still there!

Glancing around, I see the imp I landed on, picking itself up with monumental effort. Hissing and wincing, it stands up and scans the area through milky, half-closed eyes. Good. This imp and its friends sent the dirt flying. Did they really think there wouldn’t be trouble?

I hiss at the imp. It can’t communicate with me. I know this. The goblins couldn’t, so the imp probably can’t either. System? Can imps communicate with animals?

[No. Imps are highly limited in intelligence. They have a certain level of cunning, but are less intelligent than goblins. Interestingly, goblins might have a better chance of communicating with you than the imps. Kasz, your ex-master, might learn animal communication given time. So might his wizard. But imps only understand what is in front of them.]

Interesting. So, would they be scared off by Shooting Stars?

[Yes. They are easily confused and frightened. For a species that thrives on causing disorder for others, they don’t like it when the situation is reversed.]

I growl in acknowledgment and communicate to Kaline. [I’m going to flood this area with stars. So much that it’ll attract astronomers.]

Kaline sounds delighted. [Good! I’ll try and round up as many imps as I can.]

[That’s my Young Miss!]

Springing into action, Kaline sets about running this way and that, pretending to feed the chickens or pick up crops. But she circles the epicenter of the explosion where the imps burst onto the scene. It honestly looks like an earthquake gashed the farmland.

Mrs. Threadgood stands at the edge of all this turmoil, a a strong, dignified sentinel. Ready to jump in and engage at a moment’s notice, but not getting involved just yet.

The imps hiss and taunt her, trying to provoke a response. Unfortunately, it’s working. She’s been dealing with their nonsense for too long, and I can smell her frustration mingling with the scents of the earth.

“You devils,” she shouts, stomping toward us in her hobnailed work boots.

I growl. [Kaline, she’ll ruin everything!]

[Have no fear, Kaline is here. Time for the stars to come out!]

She’s right. Even if not all of the imps are in position, I have to act now.

As I shoot my stars, Kaline is a brown-haired blur, rushing toward Mrs. Threadgood. She clears the target area in time for the stars to flood the strike zone.

HISSSS. BZZZZZ. BURN.

The stars scorch and eat anything they touch. The imps’ screeches sound like nails on a chalkboard, or a cat getting a bath.

Kaline yells at the imps, “There’s more where that came from.”

Mrs. Threadgood has reached her limit, and she shouts, “LEAVE. Leave my home. This is your final warning.”

One of the imps bellows in Common, “You are no fun. We only want to have fun.”

“Fun! I have a farm to run,” Mrs. Threadgood bellows.

The belligerent imp seems to be the spokesperson. “Work! Work! That is all you do.”

“If I don’t work, people don’t eat,” Mrs. Threadgood shouts back. “You imps have helped yourselves to my eggs and my crops, and paid me back with trouble.”

The lead imp doesn’t give in. “We make you have fun. That is our payment for food.”

Oddly, it smells sincere. I release my stars, which break up and fade into the dirt.

Blinking, the imps seem confused. The lead imp addresses me. He or she seems more intelligent, or at least curious, than the others. “Thank you.”

I growl in response.

Kaline snaps, “BLAZE. What are you doing?”

I’m not fazed by her yelling at me. She’s a kid. [Trust me.]

Kaline stops, her own curiosity aroused. [What is it?]

[They really want to play. That’s what they do. I don’t think they’re like the goblins, or like Viscount Rossa. Imps like mischief.]

Kaline pads over to me and kneels in the dirt, staring into my eyes. [When I did things like this, Mother and Father weren’t happy. They said I made more work for everyone.]

I purr in response, nuzzling her hand. [They love you.]

I can’t give her the insight that I had in my human life. I can’t tell her that my parents got frustrated with Damon and me when we broke things or finger painted on the walls or decided to play checkers in the kitchen using pots and pans. At least we cleaned up after ourselves with that last one.

Kaline’s eyes soften. [No one loves the imps. They’re too wild.]

I can’t help feeling sympathy for the imps. [Maybe that’s all they know how to be. But maybe they could be something else if given the chance.]

[How?] Kaline is innocently inquisitive. [They are really wild. And Mrs. Threadgood works so hard. She’s on her own since her husband died.]

I purr in sympathy. [No children?]

Kaline shakes her head solemnly. [They couldn’t have any. That’s what Mother and Father said. This farm is all Mrs. Threadgood has. It’s been in her family forever.]

[I think these imps know that. In their way, they want to help, as misguided as it is.]

Kaline eyes the chattering imps doubtfully. [They don’t seem that bright.]

[The one that’s speaking for them has a few brain cells.]

Choking back a laugh, Kaline scratches my ears. [He does seem to know what goes on around here. But imps are still trouble.]

[Maybe so, but maybe Mrs. Threadgood needs a little lightheartedness from time to time.]

She buries her face in my ears. [How are you so sweet?]

AWWW. Can I get that feeling forever? I didn’t realize i needed this. Even as a human, I don’t think I was open to it. Except from Damon. When it came to my little brother, I was a marshmallow. But everyone else, no. Even my parents.

After she lets me go, Kaline stands up and pulls aside Mrs. Threadgood, with me following, ready to back Kaline up. “This might not be my business, but Mother and Father say that everything has been lonely since your husband died. I listen. I hear a lot.”

Mrs. Threadgood mutters, “Thank goodness you don’t pay any attention to the gossip in the village and the old biddies.”

Kaline muffles a chuckle. “No, Mistress Threadgood. Just my parents.”

Mollified, Mrs. Threadgood admits, “They’ve never been part of the gossip.”

Kaline stares into her eyes. “I think the imps just want someplace to belong. Blaze says that they do. Maybe you could give them a home, and they could help you have fun? What do you say?”

I hold my breath. In an intriguing twist, the lead imp does, too.

Maybe I can get the farm animals to help?

[Chickens, hear me.]

A squawk echoes through my mind. A chorus. [Are you going to get rid of those imps?]

[No. I’m going to make them farm helpers. But I need your help to do it. Are you with me?]

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