Chapter 46: I am Sylvia

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Pitter-patter——

The unnamed white birds nesting under the bridge flew in flocks across the azure sky overhead.

I walked leisurely towards the castle. My hand that was touching my lower abdomen had unconsciously moved to my upper abdomen.

Soon after, I heard Madam’s footsteps behind me.

“How could you leave without saying goodbye to Sir Carlos? That’s impolite.”

These words already carried a hint of elder’s lecturing tone in them.

I pouted.

“No need to be, polite, with him.”

“What’s wrong, you don’t like him?”

“It’s not that.”

“Then what?”

“It’s just… nevermind, nothing.”

My brows furrowed slightly.

Madam walked to my side, seeing my unpredictable expression, she couldn’t help but ask.

“Does it hurt a lot?”

“Mm, a little.”

It wasn’t really painful, just a bit hungry.

“Go back to your room and rest first, I’ll have the servants heat some water later for you to clean up, but you can’t take a bath… do you have sanitary pads?”

“Mm.”

“After washing up, come to the dining room for lunch, we have plum pancakes for dessert.”

My eyes lit up.

“Okay~”

It must be Madam’s handiwork again, it’ll definitely be delicious!

“That silly Parsifal acted that way because of you, right?”

“Yes… ah no.”

…How embarrassing, I slipped up at the last moment.

Because I was thinking about the sweet and sour pancakes, I got a bit distracted, but unexpectedly Madam asked the key question out of nowhere.

She must have done it on purpose!

I felt a bit uneasy, secretly glancing at Madam.

I saw a spring-like smile on her face.

The upturned corners of her mouth seemed somewhat teasing, but more so filled with genuine joy.

Her eyes revealed a hint of pride.

“Miss Sylvia, I understand you better than you understand yourself.”

My little nose was gently tapped. It felt ticklish, so I reached up to rub it.

Is that so?

Maybe it is.

Madam beside me took my hand. Our fingers intertwined, her palm warm and comforting.

“Suddenly, I feel like a heavy stone has finally been lifted from my heart.”

“Madam……”

“Miss Sylvia, how do you view Shanter Castle in your heart?”

I was confused by her question, tilting my little head to look at her.

“Madam’s, desserts, are delicious?”

Madam couldn’t help but laugh.

“Really now, nothing else? Like the castle is beautiful, the scenery is nice, or the rooms are comfortable to live in?”

“Madam, what do you mean?”

“Actually, I want to say, if possible, would you please consider this place as your home?”

I hesitated for a moment.

“Won’t I, be troublesome?”

“What kind of trouble?”

“In various, meanings.”

“…Though I don’t know what kind of trouble you’re referring to, I think there won’t be the kinds you’re worried about.”

“But……”

“But what? Are you trying to say that you’re not my daughter Peylo?”

“……”

“I told you, I understand you better than you understand yourself.”

Two figures, one tall and one short, walked through the garden.

The blooming flowers competed in beauty, yet how could they compare to the perfect grace of people.

“Can you tell me about what happened in Sylgaria?”

I nodded.

“…I woke up, in Woodward…”

I intermittently told Madam about my experiences.

I told her about meeting Dabai in the forest.

I told her about that nameless little village.

I told her about Grandma Claire in the village, about the kind and pure sister Elia, and about the little man Barry.

Then I told her about the Endless Abyss.

I told her about how Elia sacrificed herself to protect me, being completely consumed by the black smoke of the abyss.

I started to choke up as I told the story.

I told until Madam’s eyes also turned red.

“So, that’s how you became a Pontifical Knight…” she stroked my head, “Going to Order City was also to properly fight those monsters, right?”

“Mm. There’s a lot, I don’t understand.”

“Mm… Fighting for the beliefs in your heart, that’s not hard to understand, it seems all Pontifical Knights are the same. Miss Sylvia, that’s remarkable… very remarkable… but…”

Madam hesitated for a long while.

“But what if I say I don’t want you to be like this? Could you not go fight those monsters… this is too terrifying, you shouldn’t be like this… just stay here nicely… would that be okay?”

The latter part of her words, rather than negotiating with me, was more like a humble, helpless plea.

Completely unlike words that would come from Madam’s mouth.

A moment of silence.

I really didn’t know how to respond.

After a while, Madam smiled somewhat dejectedly.

“I suppose so. Such a request is a bit too much… After all, you don’t remember anything from before, you only remember that small village… Perhaps in your heart, Grandma Claire is more important than me.”

“……”

I didn’t deny it, because that would be lying.

My feelings were complicated.

I could clearly feel the Duke and Duchess’s selfless dedication to me.

They certainly treated me as Peylo, and I had probably figured out some things as well.

The pain of losing loved ones, I could understand it. Precisely because I could understand, I couldn’t reject such kindness.

That would break their hearts.

But after all, I had no memories.

Without memories, we were like strangers.

And in my heart, I also had necessary persistence, which was to do what I believed was right.

What determines who I am is not what I am, but what I do.

“Miss Sylvia.”

“Mm?”

“No matter what, there’s one thing I hope you can remember. If someday in the future, you feel hurt, tired, or want to rest, just come back, come back to Shanter Castle. This will always be your home, and Scalliger and I will always be your family. Can you… understand that?”

“…Mm, I understand.”

I looked into her pearl-like profound eyes, which reflected my serious little face.

…………

Not long after returning to my room, the maid had heated the water and placed the water bucket in the bathroom.

After they left, I stripped myself completely naked and slowly walked to the mirror.

A pair of autumn-like eyes trembled slightly.

This was the first time I examined this body so nakedly.

Delicate shoulders as if carved from jade, a graceful slender waist, thin arms, long legs, skin as translucent as condensed cream and snow lotus.

There was no sense of shame in my heart as my eyes looked at the small features on my chest, staring at them seriously, not missing any detail.

Then on the hidden spot below the right breast, I found a small black dot like a beauty mark. This spot couldn’t be seen by looking down yourself, it would be blocked even if it were smaller.

Is this why Madam was staring at my chest in the medical room?

It seems she’s completely certain on her side…

After all, Madam doesn’t know that I’m a monster from the abyss, I didn’t tell her.

Because I didn’t dare.

If I were Peylo…

There is no if.

I am not simply Peylo, nor am I Chen Yuxuan from my memories anymore.

I am who I am.

I am Sylvia.

Sylvia Labishmers.

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