Chapter 82: Wariness

***

“But you know, Little Syl, I have to tell you something.” Carlos put away his smile, his expression suddenly becoming serious. “I saw that day’s battlefield. Those city guard prisoners… the ones still alive suffered mostly from frostbite, and not a single wound was fatal… you held back, didn’t you?”

I nodded.

“Well, I thought… they were very innocent. They were just following orders, so…”

“So you tried to spare their lives as much as possible?”

“…They also have families…”

“But have you thought about this?” Carlos grabbed my face. “Have you thought about the fact that the city guards outnumbered Lafayette’s people ten to one that day? If your mercy and hesitation had caused him to get injured, or even lose his life… what would you do?”

“……”

“You could have resolved this faster, couldn’t you?”

“…But then, they would all die…”

“But what if Lafayette had died?”

“What would you do? Would you seek revenge for him and kill all the city guards present?”

“You would, wouldn’t you?”

“So what would be the point of your mercy then?”

Carlos was being somewhat aggressive at this moment.

The way he looked at me was as sharp as a hawk’s gaze, and I didn’t dare meet his eyes directly.

“In the final moments, you were facing those two heretics from The Gate of Truth, right? Those city guards were being faced by Lafayette and his guards alone?”

“If reinforcements hadn’t come. If The Gate of Truth’s people had been more formidable, if the battle could have been dragged out longer, don’t you think the possibility of Lafayette dying in battle would have been very high? Think about it yourself.”

In the next moment, his tone became stern.

“Sylvia, who do you think you are? The savior of this world?!”

“…Don’t yell at me…”

“You’re not. So please cherish the people around you. Mercy is good, I really like this aspect of you, but at the same time, I don’t want you to become weak because of it. This time I can only say you were lucky, you didn’t encounter the truly terrifying people from The Gate of Truth, so things went relatively smoothly. But next time, you might not be so fortunate.

“If you can’t make up your mind about necessary things, it might lead to an even greater tragedy in the end… can you understand what I’m saying?”

“…I can.”

“I’m not encouraging you to kill people.”

I nodded obediently.

“Mm-hmm, I know.”

“You’re smart, so I hope next time, there won’t be similar situations happening again.”

“Mm-hmm.”

“If you keep saying ‘mm-hmm’ you’re an idiot.”

“Mm-hmm… uh, I’m not.”

“You are a Pontifical Knight, not one of those indecisive fools.”

“Okay.”

“Sometimes, problems can’t be solved without bloodshed. You didn’t even kill those assassins, did you?”

“…I killed them… right?”

Carlos smiled again.

“Alright, this is what I came to tell you.”

Then he stood up, and only then did I suddenly realize that this guy had been sitting on my bed the whole time without getting up.

“The Duke said he wants you to stay until after Divine Birth Day before leaving… it just so happens I still have some unfinished business on my end, so let’s leave then.”

“Okay.”

Carlos waved at me.

“I’m leaving.”

“Go quickly!”

He turned and left.

After that, I pondered alone in my room for a long time, and the more I thought about it, the more fortunate I felt.

I knew he was absolutely right, and this matter was indeed my mistake. If my indecisiveness had led to Lafayette ultimately having an accident… I would definitely not forgive myself.

In that state of mind, I might have done things that even I wouldn’t dare to imagine.

I don’t know what was wrong with me at that time, but such emotions just unconsciously surged from my heart without any awareness. After thinking it through later, for a moment, I was very afraid.

My power is too strong.

Yes, I clearly recognized this point. Therefore, for a long period of time, aside from the daily necessary “devouring,” I never again used the Abyssal Chaos Power, and even stopped practicing. Because the more I understood it, the more I feared its destructive power.

This is a power of pure destruction. If controlled properly, then everything would be fine, but once it gets out of control…

Then I would fall into the abyss once again.

The bottomless abyss.

…………

Time flew by swiftly.

In one month, I only saw Carlos that one time.

After that came the preparations for the year-end banquet.

As Divine Birth Day approached, Madam Catherine and the maids began busily preparing.

There were many things that needed to be purchased. People of Valen Empire traditionally eat a type of chicken called short-haired chicken on Divine Birth Day. The madam had people go to a distant town to buy live ones, and they set up a simple chicken coop in the backyard. I was in charge of taking care of them these past few days.

I was purely doing it for fun, because these chickens looked quite interesting, they had the build of ostriches but the face of ducks.

Their behavior was also amusing, making people laugh with every move. Goat cheese would also occasionally fly down from the sky and tease them.

Sometimes I would also help the madam decorate the banquet hall — since they had never thought about doing this before, when Shanter Castle was built, they didn’t construct any large rooms that could accommodate many people. So the madam had people find the original castle designer and planned to knock down the walls of several conference halls on the first floor and rebuild them into one large hall.

This made the work very demanding. It wasn’t until 4 days before Divine Birth Day that the hall renovation was barely completed, leaving very little time for decoration. In those days, whether it was the madam or the servants, everyone was busy as could be, and even I stopped training and all other activities, rolling up my sleeves to help out.

Lafayette and Hoover commanded the hunters and guards to transport the supplies that the servants had bought from various places, cart by cart, into the castle.

Finally, on the evening before Divine Birth Day, everything was ready.

…………

Gregorian Calendar Year 1187, January 16th

That morning, the madam came to my room early, already dressed neatly.

“Get up quickly, Peipei—”

After some shaking, I rubbed my eyes and slowly opened them.

“…Mm… is it dawn…?”

“Not yet.”

“…Then I’ll, sleep a bit more…”

Saying this, I closed my eyes again. The madam pushed me again.

“Get up quickly! Today you need to wear a dress, I’m here to do your makeup foundation.”

“Mm~” I quickly rolled over, pushing away the madam’s hand, humming continuously, “…I don’t want to wear a dress…”

“You have to wear it. Hurry up! Many guests already arrived last night, and we still need to receive many more people later, there’s not much time left.”

“…Then just… don’t dress up…”

The madam chuckled softly.

“Without dressing up, are you planning to meet people looking like a monkey’s butt!”

“Pfft—”

I couldn’t help but laugh out loud, opening my dark, sparkling eyes, pupils rolling around before settling on the madam’s face.

“I’m not a monkey butt. Hehe!”

“If you don’t put on makeup, you’re definitely a monkey’s butt!”

“I’m not!”

Bang bang bang—!

Suddenly there was a frantic knocking at the door outside, the sound was practically door-pounding. The madam and I were startled, and for a moment I thought something had happened, but then I heard Parsifal’s voice from outside the door.

“Peipei! Are you awake yet!”

“Peipei!”

“Quick, I have something to tell you…”

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