Chapter 374: Chapter 360: Holy Sword Excalibur

[ Back home, Darkness’s behavior was also unusually erratic; every time she saw him, she would inexplicably blush and avert her gaze.

It wasn’t until he saw himself in the mirror during his bath that Kazuma noticed the anomaly. Without a word, he burst out: “MEGUMIN!! Where’s Megumin!”

“Megumin said she’d be staying at Yunyun’s for a few days… AH—!” Darkness subconsciously replied, then, upon seeing the naked Kazuma, she quickly buried her face in a magazine, blushing furiously.

In stark contrast to the bashful Darkness, Aqua remained unfazed, sprawled on the sofa, propping her head with one hand: “Hey… Kazuma, it’s good to be confident, but being too ostentatious isn’t good!”

Kazuma was practically overheating, gritting his teeth, his eyes bloodshot: “You… you idiot, you were there when Megumin wrote things on me, damn it!”

“What the hell is ’Holy Sword Excalibur’—”

On Kazuma’s abdomen, “Holy Sword Excalibur” was scrawled in colorful markers… with an arrow even pointing downwards.

Seeing this, Aqua’s gaze seemed to carry a hint of mockery, and she couldn’t help but curl her lips into a disdainful smile: “Heh…” ]

[ …..]

〜Projection of All Worlds〜

“Hahaha, now I understand why Megumin decided to stay with her friend for a few days. If she doesn’t keep a low profile, Kazuma might just kill her.

“I’m dying of laughter. Now I finally know what Megumin and the others did to Kazuma’s body. They really made themselves at home… hahaha.”

“Pfft… heheha, Aqua is truly a walking punchline. That cold laugh at 30 seconds was so profound; it feels like Kazuma was utterly scorned.”

Not only was Holy Sword Excalibur written there, but there was also a thoughtful arrow pointing to it, as if they were afraid people wouldn’t notice, right?! I wonder what a certain Saber would think upon seeing this.

This time, everyone nearly died laughing. As expected of a seasoned goddess, that smug, punchable expression was just too hilarious. This was mockery from a goddess, after all.

For a man, there’s nothing more damaging than this. Aqua’s calm and composed disdain—I hope it doesn’t leave Kazuma with psychological trauma…

Everyone realized this video was truly toxic; the comedic beats were far too frequent. It’s best not to watch it while eating, or you might actually choke to death.

…..

〜Type-Moon World, Fifth Holy Grail War Worldline〜

Upon witnessing this scene, Tohsaka Rin also blushed slightly. Do Kazuma’s teammates truly know no shame? To do something like that…

“But speaking of Holy Swords…”

The others seemed to be subtly glancing at the serious-faced Saber, a hint of unspoken words in their eyes.

“…”

Artoria, feeling everyone’s gaze, radiated a chilling aura. She stated gravely,

“Actually, I am the Lion King, summoned as a Lancer. My Noble Phantasm is the Holy Lance, Rhongomyniad!”

Artoria, radiating cold air, indeed possessed a certain Lion King-like demeanor, but the ahoge on her head completely betrayed her.

Watching Artoria’s self-deception, everyone wisely nodded and averted their gazes, fearing a sudden blast of Excalibur.

Only the two remaining men of the Emiya household, Emiya Shirou and Red A, whispered to each other, heads bowed:

“It’s well known that Excalibur is transparent, so… did the smaller one catch a glimpse?”

Red A was stunned, as if he hadn’t expected his past self to even consider such a thought, but it was a question he couldn’t easily answer.

After all, Aqua’s profound and scornful smile carried quite a bit of information.

〜Grand Blue Dreaming World〜

“Honestly, I don’t see what Darkness is so shy about,”

Iori Kitahara looked somewhat confused. After all, it’s just a Holy Sword; what’s the big deal?

“Exactly!”

Kohei slung an arm around Iori’s neck, clinked glasses with him, then chugged the flammable oolong tea in his hand.

Both men, completely naked as they spoke, were utterly uninhibited, as if they knew no shame, having grown accustomed to it.

Isn’t it common sense to strip when drinking?! The Holy Sword has been exposed countless times, and Chisa and the others haven’t reacted much, have they?

Watching a group of naked seniors playing rock-paper-scissors, Aina Yoshiwara couldn’t help but cover her face. Not out of embarrassment, but because she found her own normalization of the situation almost unbearable.

…..

[ Even though Kazuma was on the verge of exploding with rage, when Megumin eventually pushed the door open and returned, she was met with a profoundly unsettling sight.

“I’ve already prepared the finest black tea for you, Kazuma-sana!” Aqua elegantly presented the brewed tea to Kazuma.

Kazuma, clad in a bathrobe, sat composedly on the sofa, taking a delicate sip of the freshly brewed tea…

“This is just hot water!” Kazuma remarked calmly, a serene smile gracing his lips, utterly devoid of anger, radiating an air of refined elegance.

Perhaps Aqua’s hand accidentally touched the tea while brewing it, turning it into mere hot water.

Aqua, too, was uncharacteristically subdued, not raising a fuss, but instead smiling gently: “Oh, yada! I completely forgot! Haha.”

Observing the two composed individuals, Megumin was utterly bewildered. Kazuma and Aqua seemed like entirely different people, exuding an almost unbearable elegance.

“You’re both so DISGUSTING!!”

Megumin, thinking her actions towards Kazuma had driven him mad, bowed repeatedly towards him: “I apologize for what happened the other day. Please, turn back into the old Kazuma!”

“That incident? I no longer concern myself with such trifles. After all, the wealthy do not quarrel.” Kazuma’s eyes were clear and sincere, and he smiled at Megumin…

“More importantly, Megumin, would you like some tea as well? I’ve prepared some excellent leaves.”

Watching the magnanimous Kazuma, Megumin’s face contorted as if she were about to cry: “It’s all my fault! I beg you, please turn back into the old Kazuma! The current Kazuma is truly super disgusting.”

Even when called disgusting by Megumin, Kazuma remained unangered, displaying an admirable magnanimity: “Haven’t I always been like this?”

“What have you been saying since just now? Haven’t I always been like this?” ]

[ …..]

〜Projection of All Worlds〜

“What in the blink of an eye just happened… Are these two, who look like elegant young noblemen and ladies, truly that Sadistic Kazuma and Idiot Goddess?”

“Such a harmonious scene looks far too out of place on you two! I must have opened it incorrectly, walked into the wrong scene.”

Everyone instinctively rubbed their eyes, starting to wonder if they hadn’t woken up properly, or if they had gotten up too quickly! They actually saw a calm and composed Sadistic Kazuma and an elegant Aqua.

“Seriously, handsome man, who are you? The art style is completely different.”

Such a serious conversation might be normal for others, but for them, it was extremely abnormal.

…..

〜Sleepy Princess in the Demon Castle World〜

“Splat—”

Upon seeing this, Demon King Twilight instinctively slapped himself. The pain on his face confirmed that he was indeed not dreaming.

“They’re fakes, right!”

Twilight still couldn’t believe the reality before him. After all, Kazuma’s sadistic nature was so ingrained that seeing him become elegant was quite unsettling.

Huskie seemed unsure:

“He must have hit his head.”

Watching the two calm individuals on the screen, Twilight felt completely ill at ease, goosebumps rising on his skin:

“Can two people hit their heads at once?”

What in the world happened to this hero who never does his job, and that perpetually neurotic Idiot Goddess?

…..

[ At this moment, Darkness waved to the utterly bewildered Megumin, then recounted the events of the past few days…

The scene shifts back to the morning after Megumin’s hasty escape.

“That damn loli brat, when she gets back, I’m going to strip her naked!” Kazuma, dressed in a tracksuit, was furiously raging.

“So noisy first thing in the morning.” Aqua, lying on the sofa with one hand propping her head, looked somewhat disdainful. Then her tone became rather smug.

“Everyone should live as calmly as I do. Like me, after returning to the mansion yesterday, I haven’t moved from this spot except for bathing and changing clothes, you know.”

Just then, a knock came from outside the door. Kazuma, thinking it was Megumin, rushed to the door, but upon opening it, it was Vanir!

This time, he had come to discuss business with Kazuma. Aqua immediately couldn’t sit still, slowly standing up: “Hey, I say… how did you get into this mansion?”

“Ah, that half-assed thing. Was that supposed to be a barrier? It was far too fragile. I thought it was a failed attempt by some fledgling priest.”

Listening to Vanir’s mockery, Aqua naturally wouldn’t be outdone and retorted with her own taunts: “Oh my, you look quite disheveled all over, mighty demon lord?”

“Sigh, whatever shall I do? I heard you’re a duke from hell, yet such a weak barrier has tormented you so terribly.”

With a sneering face, Aqua enthusiastically poked and prodded at Vanir’s body, where signs of dissipation were clearly visible everywhere. ]

[ …..]

〜Projection of All Worlds〜

“I knew it! That elegant Aqua from before was a fake; the real one is right here!”

Watching Aqua, who was inherently lazy and had been lying on the sofa all day after her bath, everyone slowly breathed a sigh of relief. This was more like it.

Indeed, the sadistic Kazuma and the silly Aqua were much more palatable. Perhaps it was due to initial impressions; those two elegant buffoons from before felt far too incongruous.

“Haha, so it was all an act of pretense. Isn’t that just suffering for the sake of appearances… The barrier set by the goddess was still quite restrained.”

Everyone looked with admiration at Vanir, whose body was covered in cracks and dust, yet whose mouth was still defiant… Even now, he didn’t forget to mock Aqua. You are truly brave!

…..

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