Chapter 32: Chapter 32 Alpha Zion’s POV

Alpha Zion’s POV

But then again, as much as I hate her with every fiber of my being, I also find myself longing for her—and it’s that contradiction that drives me mad. Being around her feels unbearable, like she’s subtly manipulating my every thought, and I’m powerless to stop it.

My mother hates her too.

She despises the fact that her fated mate died for someone she sees as useless and insignificant, making his sacrifice feel meaningless. Nothing about Addison brings her comfort.

She nearly followed my father into the afterlife, consumed by grief. For days, she wouldn’t eat, wouldn’t speak—she just wept, clutching the letters he left behind like lifelines to a world that no longer existed.

I couldn’t take it anymore—it felt like pure torture. To make things worse, the other packs started distancing themselves from us. Those fucking cowards only know how to cling to us during the good times and trample us the moment things go south.

Rage boiled in my chest, but I couldn’t lose my composure. I’m the rightful Alpha now, and I have a duty to uphold. Even when I felt like shit, I still had to oversee preparations for the marking ceremony and Addison’s Luna inauguration.

But what am I supposed to do?

Being near her is a constant reminder of everything I’ve lost—of all the pain and pressure I carry. Maybe it’s not her fault… or maybe it is. I don’t know. I have no proof either way, and that’s what makes it worse.

But at the same time, no matter how much I hated her, when she looked up at me with those brown hazel eyes, I just couldn’t stop myself—I wanted to pull her into my arms and claim her as mine.

During the marking ceremony, the urge to mate with her right then and there nearly consumed me.

At one point, I even wondered if she was my fated mate. But Shura never confirmed it. Still… this feeling—it didn’t make sense. It made me question everything.

Maybe she’s done something to me… maybe some kind of witchcraft, just like she might have done to my father. Maybe that’s why he was so damn set on making her my chosen mate, right up until he died. And the more I thought about it, the more I hated her.

Or maybe… I was just looking for a reason to hate her—so I wouldn’t end up on my knees, begging her to let me touch her. Maybe what I really hated was the way she looked at me with those eyes, full of trepidation and fear.

Fuck. I hated seeing that. It felt like it shattered my fucking heart without her even needing to say a word. Just her presence alone was enough to stomp all over every raw nerve I had without even trying.

So after the marking ceremony, all I could do was run. I couldn’t look into her eyes without thinking of dragging her to the marital bed and fucking her senseless for days—until I was sure I had put a pup in her.

But deep down, I couldn’t tell—did I truly desire her as a woman? Or was it just the Alpha blood in me, the heightened sex drive, the overwhelming instincts that made everything spiral out of control?

All this pent-up emotion was too much to contain. Every thought was filled with how I would fuck her, where I would fuck her, how I wanted to see her on her knees, begging me, submitting completely.

Fuck. Just thinking about it made my cock so hard it hurt. I didn’t even want to imagine what would happen if I walked into that room, with her scent thick in the air—I might not have the strength to stop myself.

So, the moment I heard the Alpha King wanted to enlist our pack for the frontlines—because the vampires were growing restless and rampaging everywhere—I didn’t hesitate.

I had to go.

No, I needed to run away from her. I thought I was going insane, drowning in pent-up emotions and overwhelmed by this relentless sex drive.

But then again, I couldn’t even touch another woman without Shura tearing into me from within and my whole body recoiling in disgust. I didn’t know what to do anymore, so I ran.

As far as I could, just to clear my head, to sort myself out. I didn’t even stay for her Luna inauguration.

But who would’ve thought… after three years, just seeing her again would still make my heart tremble. And all I could do was ignore her—pretend she wasn’t even there.

But Goddess… her scent. It made it almost impossible to keep my damn dick in my pants.

Back then, when the mate bond was decaying, there wasn’t a single day Shura and I didn’t wrestle with the urge to run to her. The pain was excruciating—yes—but I knew whatever I felt was nothing compared to what she was going through.

Part of me wanted to go to her, to ease her suffering. But then my reason would snap back, reminding me: she owes me.

She owes my mother.

She owes my entire pack.

So I let her suffer.

I let her ache.

But the truth is… every time I tried to punish her, it felt like I was cutting myself open too. It’s a vicious fucking cycle, and I can’t escape it.

I just can’t let go. I don’t even know how to. The pain, the anger, the resentment—it’s all tangled up inside me, eating me alive. And without an outlet, without a way to break free, it’s driving me insane. And worst of all, it’s my damned pride that keeps me chained to it.

When I saw her pushed to the ground in front of the banquet hall, a blinding rage tore through me. But then Gamma Levi rushed forward, full of worry and care, and something inside me snapped.

Jealousy—raw and violent—flooded my chest. I wanted nothing more than to run down there, grab her, and take her as far away from Levi as possible. Instead, all I could do was stand there, glaring daggers into Levi’s back, my jaw clenched so tight I could taste blood in my mouth.

Every time she was near, I felt like I was losing control, so I kept my distance, burying myself in taking care of the Princess instead.

But even that wasn’t enough. When I was stuck in the Alpha’s office, suffocating under the weight of all the changes in the pack, I threw myself into my work, staying late, even sleeping there just to avoid going back to my room—because I was terrified of facing her. But then… I saw her. Running out of the packhouse, disappearing into the forest.

In the end, my feet still led me to her. I found her crying in a small clearing, and seeing her so pitiful and broken stirred something twisted inside me—I was happy she finally felt the same pain I did, but at the same time, my heart shattered for her.

I don’t even know how long I stood there in the dark, just watching her, getting drunk on her image, her scent thick in the air, comforting and stirring me in ways I hated to admit.

Source: Webnovel.com, updated by NovelKeep