Chapter 22: Chapter 21: The Architecture of Comfort

The Royal Academy of Osgard was a fortress of tradition. The walls were thick stone, the windows were narrow slits, and the heating system consisted of “hoping the sun comes out.”

Arthur von Pendelton (Age 12) stood in the doorway of Room 304 in the Gold Tower. He dropped his leather satchel on the floor.

“Inefficient,” Arthur stated, his voice echoing in the cold, stone cell.

The room was spartan. Two narrow cots with straw mattresses that looked like they contained more fleas than hay. A single, wobbly wooden desk. A drafty window that let in a whistle of cold mountain air.

Behind him, a skinny boy with messy brown hair and thick glasses stood trembling. He was clutching a heavy trunk to his chest as if it were a shield.

“Umm… hello?” the boy squeaked. “I’m… I’m Zack. Zack Miller. I think I’m your roommate?”

Arthur turned. He scanned the boy. Zack wasn’t a noble. His uniform was second-hand, a bit too large at the shoulders. A scholarship student.

“Miller,” Arthur nodded. “I am Arthur. Do you value your lumbar spine?”

Zack blinked, confused. “My… spine?”

“You’re back,” Arthur clarified. He pointed at the straw cots. “Those sleeping surfaces offer zero ergonomic support. Sleeping on them for a semester will result in a 15% decrease in cognitive function due to poor rest.”

Arthur walked to the window and threw it open. He leaned out.

Three stories down, in the courtyard, the massive black shape of the steam wagon was parked. Hammerhead the Dwarf was leaning against it, smoking a pipe.

“Hammerhead!” Arthur shouted. “Deploy the cargo!”

“Aye, boss!” The dwarf grinned.

…..

For the next hour, Zack sat on his trunk, watching in stunned silence as the terrifying noble boy transformed their prison cell into a luxury suite.

Hammerhead hoisted crates up through the window using a block-and-tackle pulley system Arthur had designed.

First, the straw beds were tossed into the hallway (to be collected by the confused janitor).

In came two Pendelton Twin-XL Orthopedic Mattresses. They were thick, multilayered constructs of steel springs and cotton batting, covered in soft white linen.

“Take the left one,” Arthur commanded.

Zack hesitantly sat on the bed. He sank in slightly, the springs supporting his weight perfectly. His eyes went wide. “It’s… it’s like sitting on a cloud. Is this magic?”

“It’s physics,” Arthur said, adjusting the corner. “Hooke’s Law of Elasticity.”

Next came the chairs. Out went the wooden stools. In came two leather-padded office chairs with adjustable lumbar support and swiveling bases.

Finally, Arthur placed a strange copper machine on the desk. It looked like a miniature boiler, with pipes, valves, and a pressure gauge.

“What is that?” Zack whispered. “A bomb?”

“It is a caffeination delivery system,” Arthur said, tightening a valve with a wrench. “The Academy cafeteria serves ’tea’ that tastes like boiled leaf water. I require high-pressure extraction.”

Arthur lit a small mana-crystal burner under the copper tank. Water boiled. Pressure built.

HISSS.

Dark, rich liquid dripped into a ceramic cup. The smell of roasted beans filled the room, overpowering the scent of old stone.

Arthur took a sip. He sighed. “Acceptable.”

He handed a second cup to Zack. “Drink. We have the syllabus to review.”

Zack took a sip. The caffeine hit his scholarship-exhausted brain like a lightning bolt. His eyes dilated.

“I can… I can see sounds,” Zack whispered, vibrating slightly.

“Good.” Arthur sat at his desk, pulling out a schematic. “Now, Zack. I saw your entrance exam scores. You got a perfect score in Arithmancy.”

“I… I like numbers,” Zack admitted. “They make sense. Unlike people.”

“Agreed,” Arthur nodded. “I need you to calculate the flow rate of this radiator I’m designing. If we don’t fix the heating in this room by tonight, I will be forced to burn the furniture.”

End of Chapter 21

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