Chapter 11: GUILT AND FURY

ASHER

Pain.

That was the first thing I was aware of the moment I opened my eyes. Every part of my body hurt, a deep, throbbing ache that pulsed with each breath. My ribs felt like they were on fire, my face was swollen, and my head pounded.

I tried to open my eyes, but even that small movement sent spikes of agony through my skull.

“Easy,” a familiar voice said. “Don’t move too fast.”

Reed.

Everything came flooding back. The forest, the rogues, the beating, and Reed’s setup.

Reed’s betrayal.

My eyes snapped open, and I immediately regretted it as bright light stabbed into my brain. I blinked, trying to focus, and found myself staring up at the ceiling of the infirmary.

I slowly and carefully turned my head and saw Reed sitting in a chair beside my bed.

He looked like hell.

His hair was a mess, dark circles under his eyes, his clothes rumpled like he’d slept in them. If he’d slept at all.

“You’re awake,” Reed said, and the relief in his voice was so genuine it caught me off guard. “Thank fuck. Ms. Chen said you’d be okay, but I—”

“Get out,” I croaked, my throat raw.

Reed’s expression shifted. “Asher—”

“Get. Out.” I put as much venom into the words as I could manage. “I don’t want to see you.”

“I know you’re angry—”

“Angry?” I tried to sit up and immediately gasped as pain exploded across my ribs. “You think I’m angry?”

Reed was on his feet instantly, his hands reaching for me. “Don’t move. You’ve got broken ribs, internal bleeding—”

“Don’t fucking touch me!” I slapped his hands away, even though the movement made me want to scream. “You did this! You sent me out there! You hired those rogues!”

Reed’s face went pale. “Asher, I—”

“You what? You’re sorry?” I laughed, and it hurt so much I nearly blacked out. “You almost got me killed, Reed. For what? Some sick game? To prove you’re stronger than me? To put me in my place?”

“It wasn’t supposed to go that far,” Reed said, his voice rough. “I told them to scare you. To rough you up a little. I didn’t tell them to—”

“To beat me within an inch of my life?” I finished. “Well, congratulations. Mission accomplished.”

Reed flinched like I’d hit him.

Good.

“I fucked up,” he said quietly. “I know I fucked up. I was trying to—” He stopped, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “I don’t know what I was trying to do. Test you, prove something. I just—”

“You just what?” I demanded. “You just can’t leave me alone? Can’t stand that someone dared to stand up to you?”

“It’s not that simple.”

“Then explain it to me,” I said, my voice rising despite the pain. “Explain why you’ve made it your personal mission to destroy me since the moment I got here. Explain why you kissed me and then tried to have me killed. Explain any of this, Reed, because I sure as hell don’t understand!”

Reed stared at me, his gray eyes stormy with emotions I couldn’t read.

“I don’t understand it either,” he finally said. “You… you drive me fucking insane, Asher. From the second I saw you, you’ve been under my skin. I can’t stop thinking about you. I can’t stop wanting—” He stopped, his jaw clenching. “I wanted to break you. I wanted to prove you weren’t special. I wanted to make you submit.”

“And?”

“And I can’t.” Reed’s voice dropped to barely a whisper. “I can’t break you, I can’t stop wanting you. I can’t figure out what the hell is wrong with me that I—” He stopped again, shaking his head. “When I saw those rogues beating you, when I thought you might die, I—”

“You what?” I pressed.

Reed met my eyes, and for the first time since I’d met him, I saw something other than cold arrogance in his expression.

Fear, guilt, or something that looked almost like… desperation.

“I lost my mind,” he said. “All I could think was that I couldn’t let you die. That if you died, I’d—” He stopped, his hands clenching into fists. “I don’t know what this is between us. I don’t know if it’s hate or obsession or something else, but I can’t let you go.”

The raw honesty in his voice should have made me feel something other than rage.

It didn’t.

“You don’t get to decide that,” I said coldly. “You don’t get to almost kill me and then act like you have some claim on me.”

“I know,” Reed said, stepping closer. “I know I don’t deserve—anything from you. But Asher, there’s something between us. You feel it too. I know you do.”

I wanted to deny it, I wanted to tell him he was insane, but I couldn’t because he was right, I did feel it. I had felt it from the moment our eyes met in the courtyard. A pull, a connection, something primal and inexplicable that terrified me.

“Whatever I feel doesn’t matter,” I said. “Because I can never trust you. You’re dangerous, Reed, and not in a way I can handle.”

“Then let me prove myself,” Reed said, his voice urgent. “Let me show you I can be better. That I can—”

“Mr. Jackson.”

We both turned to see Ms. Chen standing in the doorway, her expression stern. “I told you to let him rest. Out. Now.”

“We’re not done talking,” Reed said, not taking his eyes off me.

“Yes, you are.” Ms. Chen walked over and physically stepped between us. “Mr. Graham needs medical attention and rest. Not whatever this is. Out.”

Reed’s jaw clenched, but he didn’t argue. Instead, he looked at me one more time.

“This isn’t over,” he said quietly. “Not even close.”

Then he was gone.

Ms. Chen watched him leave, then turned to me with a sigh.

“That boy is going to be a problem.”

“Tell me about it,” I muttered.

She began checking my vitals, adjusting bandages, her movements efficient and professional, but I could feel her watching me carefully.

After several minutes of silence, she spoke.

“How long have you been taking the suppressants?”

I froze. “What?”

“The drugs that mask your Omega scent.” She didn’t look up from adjusting my IV. “I’ve been treating students at this Academy for fifteen years, Mr. Graham. I know what an Omega on suppressants looks like.”

My heart stopped. “I don’t know what you’re—”

“Don’t insult my intelligence.” Ms. Chen finally met my eyes. “Your scent when you came in was wrong for an Alpha. The suppressants were wearing off from the stress and injuries. I could smell your true nature underneath.”

Oh god.

“Are you going to report me?” I asked, my voice barely a whisper.

Ms. Chen was quiet for a long moment. Then she pulled up a chair and sat down.

“That depends. Why would an Omega risk everything to attend Stone Claw Academy?”

I debated lying, but what was the point? “I needed to become strong,” I said quietly. “Strong enough to protect my mother. Strong enough to stop running.”

“Running from what?”

“People who want us dead.”

Ms. Chen’s expression softened slightly. “I see, and you thought pretending to be an Alpha was the solution?”

“It was the only solution,” I said. “Omegas can’t get into Stone Claw, and Stone Claw trains the strongest wolves in the country. If I could survive here, I could survive anything.”

“You’re killing yourself with those drugs,” Ms. Chen said bluntly. “Do you know what long-term suppressant use does to an Omega’s body?”

I looked away. “I know the risks.”

“Do you? Organ damage, Hormonal imbalances, Permanent infertility, Psychological breaks, and that’s if you’re lucky.” She leaned forward. “Asher, those drugs aren’t meant to be used for extended periods. They’re emergency medications for Omegas who need temporary protection. What you’re doing—”

“Is necessary,” I finished. “I don’t have a choice.”

“There’s always a choice.”

“Not for me.” I met her eyes. “My mother is counting on me. If I can’t protect her, if I’m not strong enough, she’ll die. So I don’t care what the drugs do to me. I don’t care if they kill me eventually. All that matters is that I’m strong enough to keep her safe.”

Ms. Chen studied me for a long moment, her expression unreadable.

“You’re incredibly brave,” she said finally. “And also incredibly foolish.”

“Are you going to turn me in?”

She sighed. “No, I’m not going to report you, but Asher, you need to understand how dangerous this is. If anyone else discovers what you are—”

“They won’t.”

“Reed Jackson is already suspicious. He keeps asking me questions about your scent, about why you’re different from other Alphas.” She paused. “How long do you think you can keep this secret?”

“As long as I have to.”

“And what about when your heat comes?” Ms. Chen asked bluntly. “Suppressants can delay it, but they can’t prevent it forever. When your heat hits, every Alpha in this Academy will know exactly what you are.”

Ice flooded my veins. I hadn’t thought about that.

“How long do I have?”

“With the amount of suppressants you’re taking? Maybe a few months. Maybe less, if you’re under extreme stress, and given Reed Jackson’s interest in you, I’d say extreme stress is guaranteed.”

Fuck.

“What am I supposed to do?”

Ms. Chen stood up. “You have three options. One: stop taking the suppressants and leave Stone Claw before anyone discovers the truth. Two: find a way to manage your heat when it comes, which will be nearly impossible in an environment full of Alphas. Three: accept an Alpha’s claim and bond before your heat hits. A bonded Omega’s heat is only triggered by their mate.”

“I’m not bonding with anyone,” I said immediately.

“Not even Reed Jackson?”

“Especially not Reed Jackson.”

Ms. Chen raised an eyebrow. “He seems quite… invested in you.”

“He’s obsessed with breaking me. That’s not the same thing.”

“Isn’t it?” She headed for the door. “From what I’ve seen, Reed Jackson has never shown this much interest in anyone. The way he carried you out of that forest, the way he’s been camped outside this infirmary for three days—”

“Three days?” I interrupted. “I’ve been here three days?”

“You were unconscious for most of it. Severe concussion, internal bleeding, and multiple fractures. You’re lucky to be alive.” She paused at the door. “And whether you want to admit it or not, you’re lucky Reed Jackson found you when he did. Five more minutes and you would have died.”

She left before I could respond.

I lay there, staring at the ceiling, my mind racing. Reed had saved my life.

Reed, who’d set me up in the first place.

Reed, who’d sat outside the infirmary for three days waiting for me to wake up.

Reed, who was suspicious about my scent but hadn’t figured out the truth yet.

I had maybe a few months before my heat exposed everything. A few months to figure out how to survive Stone Claw Academy. A few months to become strong enough to protect my mother.

A few months before my entire world came crashing down.

’You can do this,’ I told myself. ’You’ve survived worse.’

But as I touched my lips, remembering the way Reed had kissed me, I wondered if that was actually true, because surviving Stone Claw Academy was one thing.

Surviving Reed Jackson’s obsession while keeping my secret? That might actually be impossible.

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