Chapter 23: Chapter 23: NO GOING BACK

VALORIA WILDEROSE

I look at her, searching her luminous face for emotion and finding none. Is she actually offering to end our agreement?

I remain silent, unsure—and tempted. Despite my hatred of him and all my complaints, I had never truly considered what going back would feel like.

She raises her hand toward the surrounding darkness and snaps her fingers. A red door, never there before, creaks open.

“Look at the door, Valoria.” Her voice is suddenly hypnotic. “Look at everything awaiting you if you go back.”

I stare into the darkness beyond, confused—until I feel myself being sucked into it. In an instant, everything hurts again.

Agonizing pain, sharper than anything I’ve ever known, courses through my body. The sweat trickling down burns like a million needles piercing my flesh and bones; my blood feels like magma.

Then come the torment and the taunts—from figures that look exactly like my father and sisters—whipping and mocking me amid the agony.

It is all horrifying, every moment of the years I suffered in limbo, all of it I had tried to forget these past few days.

With a snap of her fingers, I’m back on the bed in my subconscious world, trembling, drenched in sweat as the pain lingers.

I scream, collapsing to my knees, convulsing.

“Tell me,” she asks softly, “was any of that more terrifying than Azrael?”

“P-P-PLEASE! D-DON’T T-TAKE ME BA-BACK. I BE— I BEG-G YO-YOU!!”

I fall apart, worse than I ever have under Azrael, clutching my body and wailing.

I curse the fates for a destiny as twisted and wicked as mine—and my mother for conceiving me in such a world.

“I won’t… I’m sorry.” Her voice shakes with emotions she tries to contain as she gathers me into her arms—warm, comforting.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispers, rocking me gently until the pain begins to fade.

Slowly, her cool, almost icy presence steadies me. I’m left sniffling, exhausted, the trauma clawing its way back.

She brushes a hand through my hair.

“Valoria, you’re more capable than you think. You’ve lasted four days already—more than you believed you could in all twenty-two years of your life. I know it’s terrifying…” She pauses, voice cracking as she takes a deep breath. She holds both my hands in hers. “I wish there were an easier way, but the fate of the world rests in these hands, along with all your dreams waiting to be fulfilled.”

“I-I’m n-not st-strong enough,” I whisper, shaking my head.

It feels pathetic, but I know myself all too well—and I know it’s only a matter of time before my luck runs out.

“You are. There is no one else more suited to purge the great evil that has stubbornly existed for millennia from this world. Good and evil have always been in a stalemate, but now we have a chance. He has some sort of interest in you that can be used to our advantage. Man or god, there’s always some kind of weakness to exploit.”

She offers an encouraging smile—something I’ve needed desperately for a while—and it leaves a small spark of hope in my chest, convincing me that I might actually be able to pull this off.

“Focus on what you have in store for you… freedom, revenge, your happiness…”

“You’re r-right.”

“I must leave you now. You have to wake up,” she says suddenly, rising from the bed and increasing the distance between us.

I panic, realizing she’s actually leaving me again, all by myself in a place where I can trust no one.

We haven’t spoken long enough or devised an actual plan. We’ve only just started to talk, and she’s already leaving me.

A new feeling of loneliness creeps up in my heart, and I reach out to her.

“W-wait…” I try to touch her, but my hands pass right through.

“There’s a lot in store for you today, but hidden amidst it is a chance to change your situation.” She winks.

“W-what does th-that me-mean? Goddess!”

She fades away slowly, without answering my question.

With her gone, my ability to maintain this world falls apart. The bed beneath me begins to plummet into the endless void, and I fall with it, screaming… reaching out for anything to grab… finding nothing.

I fall until I land on my actual bed again, sitting up from the pool of sweat beneath me to the sounds of blaring sirens and my name being yelled around me.

My confused and disoriented mind slowly settles once I look through the mirror, realizing it’s morning already, and Yue is standing right beside me, a worried look in her eyes.

“Yue?”

“Thank the Goddess. I thought you’d never wake up.” She lets out an exasperated sigh of relief, patting at her chest.

“W-what’s go-going on?”

“You have to get up and get ready immediately,” she says, already moving to help me out of the bed, like I’m disabled.

I shrug her arm off, rubbing at the headache splitting my head in two thanks to that awful siren.

“What’s that sound?” I remain hesitant to move until my questions are answered and she notices.

With much reluctance, she explains the situation.

“There’s been an… incident last night. Turns out one of the concubines was a spy sent from a group of rebelling packs to gather information and kill His Majesty. Last night, she pulled a foot-long blade while attending to him.”

My breath is knocked out of my chest from her news, leaving me speechless for a moment and close to choking.

I compose myself as fast as I can, clearing my throat.

“D-did she… did sh-she hu-rt him? Is it ev-ven po-possible?”

“The Beta stopped her before anything could happen.” She says it like hurting him is impossible, leaving a bitter taste in my mouth.

“She’s not the first. In fact, many have tried before, and now there’s to be a vetting ceremony, attendance mandatory.” She tries to walk off again, but I stop her, holding her hand.

“Why?”

She shrugs as if it’s obvious.

“To determine if she lives or dies.”

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