Chapter 90: Chapter 90: THE GODDESS RETURNS

VALORIA WILDEROSE

A warm smile is nestled on her lips as she watches me. Her presence alone eases my anxiety in a way that can not be explained.

It’s been a while, and I’m instantly filled with gratitude that she’s here again. I’m not alone anymore.

Even if it’s just for a moment. Even if she’ll disappear again like she always does.

While still on the floor, I crawl forward and bow, long enough to show reverence before looking up at her again.

“You’ve gotten closer than anyone has in a long time, Valoria. I was right to have chosen you,” she praises me, and my heart swells three sizes bigger.

It’s pathetic how much I crave validation, but after a lifetime of being told I’m worthless, her words feel like oxygen.

But now I have more questions, staring down at the ruby in my hand. Now that she says it, it does look like the gem attached to the hilt of the dagger I’ve been looking for.

“I don’t understand why it’s here. Why among my mother’s things?”

“It’s believed that the last family that had the dagger passed it down through generations.” She gives me a hint with the expectation that I can put it all together, and I do.

The only survivor Elodie was talking about… they must have had the last piece of the dagger and passed it down their bloodline as an heirloom without knowing what they had.

My mother had no idea. She probably thought it was just a pretty trinket passed down through generations, never knowing the power it held.

“So my mother was…” I pause, unable to say it because it sounds too unbelievable even in my head for it to have been true.

“It might not be directly, but at some point an ancestor of yours was related to the greatest warrior of all time,” the goddess completes it for me.

Rather than be marveled, I flinch at the words “greatest warrior,” recalling the other parts of the story that were too unfavorable for someone that supposedly defeated a god and saved the world.

“She was a great warrior… until she died of a nameless illness along with her family.”

The goddess falls silent, reading my expression. Her soft soothing smile melts away into sadness, stabbing me with guilt for holding even a hint of contempt over what happened to a supposed ancestor.

“That was beyond my control, Valoria. I can’t control the fates.”

I know the gods have little influence in the fates of their creations, and maybe if she had the chance to intervene things would have been different, but I can’t help the sour feeling in my chest.

Venus saved the world and was rewarded with death and abandonment. What does that say about my own fate?

“Is it my fate to kill Azrael?” I ask, wondering if I’m going to wind up like the ones sent before me.

If maybe being related to Venus and finding one piece is just a coincidence that means nothing. If I do kill him, how long do I have left to achieve my dream of exploring the world?

Or perhaps if he needs to be killed at all. Maybe there’s a possibility of everything being resolved without anyone needing to die.

“You sound hesitant,” she frowns.

I pause for a moment, drawing a breath before speaking.

“Azrael told me what he’s doing. He wants to become a god by consuming chaos. Is that possible?”

“It doesn’t matter if it’s possible or not. Harnessing the power of chaos is already dangerous to the existence of wolf kind because it’s something that can’t be controlled. Someone that wields chaos has no business desiring godhood. It will lead to the end of the world.”

“And that’s why you’ve been trying to stop him—because of what needs to be done to create said chaos.”

“It’s the only way to preserve peace.”

“He’s stuck with this curse that causes him endless pain and forces him to wander the earth forever, but he wants to be free from it. That’s his biggest concern. So what if you took the curse away? Maybe he wouldn’t have to feed on chaos. Maybe he won’t destroy the world—”

“Is that what he told you?”

She interrupts with surprise and a hint of disappointment in her gaze that stabs into my conscience.

I sound like I’m defending him, like I believe he doesn’t deserve his punishment, like I haven’t heard the stories and seen what he’s done to people with my own eyes.

“Sweet Valoria,” she leans in closer, her hands cupping the side of my face. “All of this is deeper than you realize. He lusts for power more than his master ever did. It’s more than wanting to be freed from his curse, more than even revenge. There are things he hasn’t told you yet.”

“But…”

“Do you not want to kill him anymore?”

“No!” I answer fast enough, hearing the doubt in her voice. “He’s evil. I have to save the world. I have to be free.” I recite the only words that have kept me grounded and sane these past few weeks.

The only truths I have left with me amidst all the madness and chaos ensuing all around me.

That he and I are enemies. No matter how humane he appears, no matter how gentle some of his actions are, only one of us will be left standing after a hundred days.

No matter how much my heart tries to convince me otherwise.

And it has to be me. It has to be.

“You’re already close. Remember what needs to be done. Remember what’s waiting for you on the other side, my dear.” Her words echo with finality as she fades away again.

I’m struck with the sting of loneliness again.

The room feels colder without her glow. Darker. I clutch the ruby tighter in my palm, its warmth the only comfort I have left.

For now, it will have to be enough.

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