Chapter 36: Chapter 36: UNSAVOURY TORTURE

AZRAEL

“Lady Ivana’s body has been disposed of and her ashes have been dispatched to Alpha Ziba as per your command. And as expected, he’s not the least bit pleased with the events involving his oldest daughter,” Eros reports from his latest mission.

I remain silent, drawing a sip from my golden chalice filled with bittersweet wine high in lethal doses of poisons.

Today’s mix is made more potent to draw out the effects of what drunkenness should feel like, because that’s what I need—to be drunk and numb, to feel absolutely nothing.

Not even this mind-rotting sense of emptiness that eats me alive every single day.

“Once again you’ve offended another powerful house that could possibly rally others behind him to rebel against your majesty—all while we’re still dealing with the last few incidents of uprising in the north. I must admit, her majesty will be furious upon her return.”

“Don’t mention that old hag. I gave her the power she wanted. She should be happy she gets the opportunity to use it and put others in their place.” I grumble, taking another gulp of my mix.

My inhibitions feel lessened and my vision spins slightly, slurred, yet my mind is still active and wild—spinning a hundred miles a minute with thoughts I want to run away from for just one minute.

Just one goddamn minute of peace. Is that too much to ask after a thousand years?

“You’re still going to have to resolve the problem while she’s away; meeting with various heads of surrounding packs to remind your people that the power still remains within the hands of the royal faction, and convincing them to part with the idea of resisting the throne.” He nags on as usual, giving me details and intricacies of things I already know—things I’ve been dealing with before his grandfather was even born.

“Yeah yeah… whatever.” I wave him away, expecting him to be done with it and leave me be like he always does, but I don’t hear retreating steps.

Instead, he remains there. The sounds of his breathing and pulsing heart confirm that he has more to say.

The silence meaning that it’s going to be something annoying I don’t want to listen to.

“Your Majesty, don’t you maybe think you went a bit too far today?”

I freeze, mid-placing the rim of my cup on my lips, realizing what he’s talking about. Today—as in today’s game with that woman.

Valoria.

She’s the exact reason I’m sitting here making an attempt at getting drunk so I can stop thinking about our encounter. It’s much worse than last time.

Every second I spend with her, she does something to me—something annoying and dangerous that I can’t figure out. Torturing it out of her doesn’t feel good either.

And maybe that’s what’s even more nerve-wracking. Since when has torture not been fun?

It’s always been my greatest pastime. The one thing I could rely on to fill the void, even if only for a moment. But with her, it feels… wrong.

Like I’m the one being tortured instead.

“You’ve toyed with her enough. Isn’t it time to put an end to whatever it is you have planned for her once and for all? You’ve never bothered playing with your food before.” He sounds almost concerned.

It’s annoying.

I look at him for the first time since he walked in, with a glare.

“What do you know about what I enjoy doing with my food? I don’t remember asking for your opinion?”

“How long do you intend to keep this up?” He ignores it, his face as bland as ever.

I scoff, almost laughing at his unbridled audacity.

“You know… I used to like you, compared to your predecessors. Unlike the others before you, you are more ruthless and carry out your orders with precision, without asking many questions or bothering yourself with what I do with my time.” My voice is terrifyingly low, meant to warn and threaten.

It’s the tone I’ve carefully curated to strike fear into the hearts of everyone in my path, just before I kill them.

He watches me without flinching, almost bored by my attempt to shut him up or scare him, because we both know it never works.

No, he’s always been different—the only person I know who isn’t remotely terrified of me, yet possesses a fierce loyalty I’ve never understood.

Perhaps that’s why I keep him around. Everyone else bores me to death with their groveling and cowering. At least Eros has the spine to look me in the eye when he disagrees.

Even if it makes me want to rip that spine out sometimes.

“Yes, sadly, I’m more involved in your destructive behaviors and interested in seeing you not do something stupid,” he drawls sarcastically.

My shoulders slump once I realize it’s not working. I turn away from him, back to my wine, and stare through the wide window in front of me.

The moon hangs high tonight, full and bright and mocking. Selene’s eye, watching me as she always does, waiting for me to slip up.

She sent that girl to destroy me. I know it. I’ve known it from the moment I laid eyes on her trembling, broken form.

And yet…

“I know what I’m doing… It’s not every day that something exciting crawls into my lap.”

“Is that really all that it is?” His tone suddenly has a softness to it that’s hardly ever there.

It reeks of pity. He knows how much I hate that disgusting emotion.

“You’re annoying me, Eros. Leave before I actually strangle you.” I give a final warning, meaning it this time.

I hear him sigh from behind me.

“Very well, Azrael.” He takes a bow and finally leaves, conveniently omitting my title.

“Unruly bastard,” I suck my teeth.

I hardly know where he gets his disrespect from. His father was terrified of me, and the father before him too, I’m sure of it.

Or maybe it’s because of that one time I played catch with him as a child, on a whim. A grave mistake on my end.

I drain the rest of my chalice and reach for the decanter to pour another.

The poison burns pleasantly down my throat, but it does nothing to erase the image of her face from my mind. Those defiant blue-green eyes staring up at me, refusing to break even as I stripped away everything she had.

“Do. Your. Worst.”

Her words echo in my skull like a curse.

No one has ever said that to me. No one has ever dared.

And instead of making me want to destroy her, it made me want to…

I don’t know what it made me want.

And that terrifies me more than anything has in a thousand years.

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