Chapter 212

“I didn’t go to school for many years, and my family didn’t have any income. We relied solely on her salary to support the household. Back then, it really felt like the sky had collapsed. The three of us couldn’t even afford a meal, but didn’t life get better day by day?”

“People only live once. Go out and try boldly. Don’t be afraid of making mistakes. What hurdle can’t be crossed?”

The shop owner stood up, fully satisfied after indulging in some juicy gossip and playing therapist for a while. He felt thoroughly pleased. “These edamame beans are on the house. Eat up, girl. No charge. My cooking’s amazing.”

Zhong Ning looked at the edamame on the table, lowered her head, and took a sip of iced cola. The dense bubbles burst on her tongue like tiny needles.

After a while, she picked up a pod of edamame and peeled it open to eat.

It was pretty tasty.

Maybe it was a case of “those involved are confused, while bystanders see clearly.”

Among all the things the boss had said, the one sentence that struck Zhong Ning like a revelation was this — If you were really determined to break up, you wouldn’t even be hesitating about getting back together.

She hesitated, tossed and turned, felt deeply confused, and kept struggling over and over — wasn’t it all because she wanted to say yes, wanted to reconcile?

Her emotions, her sentimentality, were urging her to make up. It was only her rationality that held the reins and kept her from making the final decision.

The lamb hot pot was served, filled with a heap of side ingredients. The boiled radishes were soft and fresh, soaked thoroughly with the broth. The meat was tender and falling off the bone with just a touch of the chopsticks.

Zhong Ning drank two big bowls of soup in a row and felt warmth radiating from inside out, cozy and hot.

Nighttime wasn’t the right time to make decisions.

She really did need to think through what she was going to choose.

After dinner, she carried the packed leftovers home. As soon as she opened the door, she was met with a very enthusiastic welcome from Pine Mushroom — a loud scolding.

It was truly a furious outburst. Even though all the dog could say was “woof woof,” Zhong Ning was certain not a single word was pleasant — it was definitely all cursing.

She had originally promised to be back in two or three days, but ended up dragging it out to a whole week.

Zhong Ning felt pretty guilty about it. She gave an awkward smile, placed the takeout boxes into the fridge, and then took out two cans. “Pine Mushroom, want to have some canned food?”

Pine Mushroom turned her doggy head away and dramatically rolled her eyes, clearly expressing her disdain.

Zhong Ning shook the can. “Really not eating? Then I’ll just put it back, okay?”

Pine Mushroom: “Woof woof woof!”

Zhong Ning laughed and opened the can, poured it into a bowl, and watched as Pine Mushroom took two bites. Suddenly, she said, “If you eat the canned food, that means you forgive me.”

Pine Mushroom’s mouth paused immediately.

Then came another round of full-on rage mode.

Zhong Ning was nearly deafened by the barking and had to surrender. “I was wrong, I really know I was wrong. I’ll play frisbee with you all day tomorrow, okay?”

Only then did the little dog reluctantly forgive her and focus on licking the meat in the bowl.

Zhong Ning let out a long sigh and straightened up, exchanging a glance with Michelle and giving a wry smile.

Her former bodyguard, now a part-time nanny and assistant, had one of the best qualities — she never asked unnecessary questions. She simply said, “Housekeeping came by twice to clean your room. It’s very tidy.”

Zhong Ning thanked her, went back to her bedroom to take a shower, changed into her pajamas, and flopped onto the bed.

The familiar scent of the fragrance lingered at the tip of her nose. Zhong Ning buried her face into the pillow, feeling her mind in a muddled mess.

After running around for so long, the soreness in her legs hit her belatedly. To avoid being unable to walk the next day, she had no choice but to sit up and start kneading her thighs like dough.

Pine Mushroom had finished eating the canned food and leisurely walked into the bedroom, jumping up onto the bed.

“Good girl, come here and let me hug you.”

She opened her arms. Pine Mushroom considered it for a moment before condescendingly walking over and burying her head in Zhong Ning’s embrace.

Stroking the puppy’s smooth and soft fur, Zhong Ning buried her face into its scarf and took a deep breath. She truly felt that her soul, which had been flying around in all directions, was finally hooked by a string and pulled back into her body.

There could be no world without dogs.

Hugging her and falling back onto the pillow together, she no longer had the energy to keep massaging her legs.

With her fingers gently pinching the fluffy ears of the puppy, Zhong Ning’s thoughts unknowingly began to drift again.

Xie Shiqing.

She really liked Xie Shiqing.

That love at first sight — in the end — was all about looks, about a certain kind of eye contact, something mysterious and inexplicable. Her heart had skipped a few beats for no reason.

She’d seen beautiful people before, but no one had ever made her feel the way Xie Shiqing did. That was something different.

But as her love for her deepened, there was, more or less, also a desire to save her.

Zhong Ning completely set aside all the tangled hesitations and examined her feelings from above, objectively. Besides love, she definitely had a savior complex toward Xie Shiqing.

It was part of her personality, just like how she used to rescue stray cats and dogs, donate to animal protection organizations, and now had started doing charity, donating to foundations.

She always wanted to do something good, something kind.

And Xie Shiqing — what a perfect person for that. Someone she liked, and someone who needed saving.

She had made the decision to try and heal her almost without much thought — very rashly, very recklessly, and with blind self-confidence.

Zhong Ning closed her eyes and let out a long sigh.

She had overestimated herself and underestimated the complexity of the situation.

She firmly believed that Xie Shiqing would get better, without even knowing where that confidence came from. And once she realized she had failed, the blow of that defeat crushed her instantly.

— Everything I did was for you, yet you couldn’t live up to my expectations.

Wasn’t that, in itself, a kind of covert pressure and psychological violence?

Was being different from her inherently wrong? Was Xie Shiqing’s personality a mistake, and the one she had envisioned the only “correct” version?

She kept saying she wanted to reconcile, but in truth, she was forcing Xie Shiqing to become the version she wanted.

It was she who had instilled the wrong idea into Xie Shiqing, making her try to change herself, to become “Jingjing.”

If not for this sudden outburst… would Xie Shiqing have continued pretending all along, pretending to be “Jingjing”?

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