Chapter 88: 88

NADINE’S P.O.V

I held onto that question for the next ten days.

It took us another ten days before we finally got to the station and by that time, I was equal parts exhausted and relieved. We’d somehow managed to get out without getting killed by any monsters.

The closest encounter we had was one night when Rowan and I were keeping watch. We’d successfully hidden in some tall grass until it went away. After that we’d become more paranoid, extra watchful. Rowan barely slept, we started walking at nights too, only stopping to rest for a few hours. We just wanted to get out fast.

“Thank fuck,” I groaned as soon as we got out of the station. “We need to find a house, now.”

I felt extremely dirty and I needed a long bath.

“Hopefully we can find another lake,” Amy mumbled, rubbing at her arms.

We were all covered in dirt and grass but only the two of us seemed to bother much. The men didn’t seem to care, they were both staring at their maps, trying to figure out the best way to go.

It was mid-afternoon and the sun was in the sky, we still had a lot of time before we needed to take cover.

“Hello,” I snapped my finger in Rowan’s face. “We need to move.”

“There’s a river close by,” he mumbled as he folded up the map. “We’re just a few minutes out.’

“Hopefully it’s actually a few minutes and not twenty two days,” Joshua mumbled under his breath. “I think you should hold off on giving estimated for now, don’t you?”

Rowan’s jaw clenched, but he said nothing. I wanted to speak, but he shook his head, quietly telling me to drop it.

I understood Joshua’s annoyance, I truly did. If we hadn’t found those dead people, our supplies would’ve run out and we’d have probably died, but that wasn’t Rowan’s fault. It wasn’t his fault that we had to go through all of this. He’d done his best. No one else could come up with an estimate.

“Drop it, princess, I’m serious,” he whispered, gently guiding me forward with a hand on my lower back. “Let’s just focus on getting you clean and into a bed, okay?”

I nodded slowly. “Fine.”

Just as he said, the river was only a few minutes away. The river was beautiful, the water flowing gently without interruption. It wasn’t the cleanest body of water I’d seen, but it was good enough and Amy seemed to think the same because she immediately stripped out of her clothes and jumped in.

Joshua muttered a curse under his breath and turned his back instantly. Rowan didn’t even glance at her, his eyes were fixed on me.

“We’ll find a house close by while you both get clean. Will you be safe on your own?”

I nodded, already getting rid of my shirt. “We will. We can defend ourselves.”

I could tell he wanted to stay but he also wanted to give us a semblance of privacy.

“We will be fine,” I assured him. “Now go.”

I stripped off the rest of my clothes and joined Amy in the river, washing off the dirt as best as I could. It felt like bliss to feel water on my skin. When I was younger, I used to wish I was a mermaid, able to swim in the depths of the ocean without worry or fear. It only lasted for a few month though. My dad caught me drawing a mermaid one time and ripped it up, telling me that they didn’t exist and I should get my head out of the clouds.

“You okay?” Amy asked and I nodded. I tipped my head back, letting my hair dip into the water.

“Just tired.”

“Aren’t we all?” she mused. “I want to sleep for the next three days.”

I couldn’t help but agree. After all that walking, I needed a break. I couldn’t keep going, not right now at least.

“I think we can. It’s not like the lab is going to get up and run away.”

A small laugh left her. “True, but let me be the one to suggest it. I feel like Joshua will say no just to spite you.”

She meant it as a joke, but I could tell there was some truth to it too. “You noticed, didn’t you?”

“I did.” She sighed, swimming over to me. “For what it’s worth, I think a simple conversation may solve the whole thing.”

She gave my shoulder a small squeeze before swimming to shore and dragging herself out of the river. I stayed in for another minute, just pondering over her words before finally following suit.

The boys returned a few minutes after we’d both gotten dressed.

“Are you ready to go?” Rowan asked and I nodded. “We tied a cloth to the front door. Once you’re both in, lock the door. We’ll knock when we’re done.” He kissed me softly. “You look like you could use some sleep.”

I rolled my eyes. “That’s one way to say I look horrible,”

He kissed me again before gently nudging me forward. I could’ve gone, could’ve just headed up to the house and waited until they returned to have the conversation with Joshua, but my eyes found him.

He was watching us, his hands crossed over his chest and his jaw clenched. When our eyes met, he turned away sharply, but I didn’t miss the disdain in his eyes.

“Nadine-” Rowan began but I ignored him and heads straight for Joshua.

“We need to talk.”

“I need to get cleaned.” He didn’t even look at me as he spoke. “You should go.”

“I’m not leaving until we talk. If you want to get naked, go right ahead.”

For a split second, I thought he’d actually do it, but at the last minute, he decided against it and turned to me. “What?”

“I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry that you lost everything. I’m sorry that you’re stuck out here. I wish things happened differently, I wish you’d never gotten dragged into this, but Rowan and I had no control over this. I didn’t ask to be thrown outside.”

“I never said you did.”

“But you’re acting like it. You’re acting like I’m the cause of all of this but I’m not. I understand your anger, I truly do, but it is misguided and I cannot do this with someone I don’t trust.”

He scoffed. “Are you asking me to leave? After dragging me all the way out here, through those fucking tracks, you ask me to go?”

“I’m not asking you to go anywhere, I’m asking you to fix your fucking attitude. I need you to have my back the way I have yours.”

He laughed humorlessly. “If it came down to it, you’d save your precious boyfriend and leave the rest of us to rot. I’m not pissed because I lost everything, although that’s part of it. I’m pissed because I lost everything because of you and you wouldn’t do the same for me.”

His words echoed through the air, the anger and disgust evident in each word. He started to walk away when I stopped him.

“When the monster attacked Amy and I, she gave me the chance to run. I could’ve left her there, but I didn’t.”

“I don’t care,” he began but I cut him off.

“If this was truly about Rowan and I, when we saw the monster while on the tracks, we could’ve left you both. All those nights we kept watch, we could’ve stolen the supplies and ran, but we didn’t.”

He rolled his eyes. “Do you want an award?”

“No, I just want you to realize that you’re being unreasonable. Get your head out of your ass and stop throwing yourself a pity party, Joshua, you’re not the victim you think you are.”

I didn’t give him a chance to speak before turning on my heels.

“Come on, Amy, let’s go.”

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