19 (II)

Diplomacy

“A couch?” Adam said.

“I’m not letting you take the bed,” Shiv said. “It’s my bed. You interrupted my sleep. Be glad I’m letting you have the couch and not the bathtub.”

“They gave you a bathtub as well?” Adam said incredulously.

“You—” Shiv glared at him. “You know what? I’ve changed my mind.”

“No, no,” Adam said. “I’m sorry. I really am. Just—” He looked around. “Do they know what you are?”

Shiv sneered at Adam. “I am not an Omenborn anymore. That Curse broke. And also, they don’t care about that kind of thing here. They’re not as judgmental as people on Blackedge. Now, I’m disliked for another reason: Being a horrible, light-cursed foreigner from the surface.”

“No, no, not that.” Adam said. “Not the curse. Your Path… The other thing you do now.”

For once, Shiv respected Adam for his prudence. Shiv pressed his lips together. “The goddess knows. She sees all. She sees everything. She’s the reason why you’re still alive. Because she trusted me to handle this diplomatically.”

A look of realization dawned on the Young Lord, and he shook his head. “I came close to dying, didn’t I?”

“Much closer than you think,” Shiv said. “Now, take my hand and let’s get out of here.”

Adam looked at his hand one more time. “You’re really willing to do this for me?” He looked confused and almost grateful. As grateful as he could be to Shiv.

“I don’t like you, Adam,” Shiv said. “In fact, I kind of want to humiliate you a little bit more. However, we are the only people we have right now, and ultimately I don’t think you should suffer—not that much, anyway. We also have a home to save. So, if you’re willing to help me, I’m willing to help you, and we can get back and help the people we care about. It’s that simple.”

Adam swallowed, then nodded. “You’re no coward, Shiv. I’ll give you that.” And that was as much niceness as Shiv could have expected from Adam Arrow as well.

He reached up and, with a surprisingly strong grip, pulled himself up. Shiv guessed that Adam’s Physicality was still higher than his own, but the Young Lord’s flesh felt soft.

The armor has left his Toughness underdeveloped, Shiv guessed.

Adam frowned as he stared at Shiv’s hand. “Why’s your skin gleaming?”

“Oh, that’s my new Adept Skill Evolution for Toughness: Diamond Shell.”

Adam stared at Shiv for a long moment. “Didn’t you just become a Pathbearer, what, three days ago? Was it?” He shook his head. “I don’t know how long I was in that delirium. That raven bastard… I’ll kill him. Wait, I think he came with me…”

“Oh, him. We won’t be seeing him anymore,” Shiv grinned.

Adam stared at Shiv. “What do you mean? Did someone kill him?”

“Yes,” Shiv said. “I’m that someone.”

“I—” Adam paused. “You.”

“He was badly injured and brutally crippled beforehand. I suspect some of the Weaveresses might have beaten him down to capture him, and he escaped after.” Shiv awkwardly shrugged. “But, yes, I did kill a wounded, High Adept or Low Master Pathbearer.”

Adam continued to stare at him. “You? I can’t believe you. I wanted to kill him. I wanted to take revenge.”

Shiv stared at Adam. “Then why’d you let him beat you up in the first place?”

Adam’s eyes widened in absolute outrage. “Beat me? You abandoned me halfway through that fight!”

“I’m sorry, who died the most?” Shiv said, pointing at himself.

“I… you…” Adam nearly bit his tongue off in rage.

“I’m sorry, who drained his vitality while the other member of this fight”—he pointed to Adam—“spent most of his time laying in the dirt?”

Adam grimaced and then growled. Shiv shook his head, and the Young Lord fumed. “Now, let’s get to the part where we walk out, and you apologize to all the staff.”

“I… I… I… hate you so much.”

“The feeling is mutual,” Shiv said with a wide grin on his face. “And if you don’t do it, the spiders will breed you. And I won’t stop them.”

“I’m in the deepest of the hells,” Adam whimpered.

***

Shiv wasn’t lying about making Adam apologize to every Weaveress Biomancer, nurse, and anyone else he’d scared during his brief episode here.

‘I’m sorry,” Adam bowed, mimicking the same gestures the Umbrals used when they greeted the Composer. Shiv had taught him the gesture, and he offered a wide smile each time Adam performed it. He counted diligently: by the end, Adam had apologized to 413 Weaveresses, Umbrals, and automata.

The Weaveress Shadow Cells gathered in preparation to eliminate Adam Arrow were the next targets of his apology. He apologized for wasting their time, for having a psychotic break (as Shiv described it), and ultimately for interrupting their sleep.

Finally, Shiv held up his dagger. “Now. The last and most important person you need to apologize to.”

“I will not,” Adam said, his jaw clenching.

“You will,” Valor said. “Because if you don’t, Shiv will discover how hard it is for me to get inside you.”

“Likely not hard at all if I shove it in the right place,” Shiv said, a wide smile on his face.

Adam glared. He pointed a finger at the Deathless, then realized he was wearing nothing but a hospital gown. “If I had my armor and my bow, I would—

“What, kill me? Oh, so scary,” Shiv mocked. Adam clenched his teeth again and said nothing else.

“Shiv?” a voice called from behind.

Sister Uva approached, more apprehensive than normal, eyeing Adam Arrow with deep suspicion.

“Uva,” Shiv said, his expression shifting from a shit-eating grin to a genuine one. “This is Young Lord Adam Arrow. He is the Dread Horizon’s son. He’s going to be helping us. And staying with me, for now, I suppose.”

She eyed Adam as if he had the plague, and Shiv found himself immensely gleeful to see how this would play out. Adam looked at Sister Uva, blinking quickly. “Are you… an elf?”

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“An Umbral,” she corrected.

“There are many terms you will have to learn,” Shiv said. “Many things as well. Thankfully, you have me and Sister Uva to instruct you. Valor, I’m not so sure about. He doesn’t much like you.”

Adam let out a slight whimper as he looked between the dagger, Shiv, and Uva.

“This… this must be a version of Hell,” Adam mumbled.

“Very much not, I’m afraid,” Shiv said. “Now, sister,” he continued, “as much as I enjoy spending time with you, I’ll be taking this fool back to the apartment so I can actually get on with my day tomorrow.”

Uva frowned. “Are you sure that’s wise?”

“Do you want to leave the rogue surfacer alone for another episode to happen?” Shiv asked with an arched eyebrow.

“I’m right here,” Adam sneered.

Both Uva and Shiv ignored him.

“You’re probably right,” Uva said. “I’m very sorry I had to trouble you with this.”

“Not at all,” Shiv replied. “And don’t think of your presence as trouble. Quite the opposite, in fact.”

She looked away, shaking her head, muttering about how he just couldn’t seem to stop.

“Shiv,” Adam began, but his words died as a look of raw disbelief overcame him. “What is happening? Shiv, what are you doing?”

Shiv held up a hand. “I’m not talking to you right now, Adam. Anyway… I apologize on behalf of my fellow light-cursed surfacer. He is… He’s always been a little bit temperamental. And simple.”

“Shiv…” Adam growled.

“As you can tell right now,” Shiv said, gesturing toward Adam.

Uva eyed Adam up and down, sneering slightly. “As I can tell,” she said, “and you had to put up with this your entire life?”

“Practically every time I met him, he was always sour—always. Practically about everything. It’s understandable why when he was a child but.” Shiv looked at Adam and shook his head disapprovingly. “One needs to grow up.”

Adam’s left eye was twitching now. Shiv thought that was just about enough teasing—any more and this might actually devolve into violence.

“I think we will retire for good tonight,” Shiv said. “Adam will be on the couch, I will be in the bed, and I will see you…” Shiv smiled at Uva, “in the morning. Oh, do you want breakfast?”

She pressed her lips together. “I wouldn’t be against it.”

Shiv nodded. “Well, I’ll see what I can surprise you with.”

Uva closed her mouth, and a slight smile played across her face. “I’m sure you’ll come up with something creative.”

“I’m sure I will,” Shiv said.

The two locked eyes and slowly shared a mutual grin.

The Young Lord’s head swung between the Umbral Psychomancer and the Deathless. His facial expression looked like he was undergoing a series of very painful muscle spasms. “What? What are you? How did you… What is even happening anymore?”

“Charm,” Valor interrupted with a voice filled with pride. “It seems that Shiv has a tongue made for charming. And the intent to use it.”

Shiv grinned.

“I best accompany you back, charming,” Uva said. “I have a feeling that you two might get into more trouble without a proper escort.”

“I wouldn’t be against that,” Shiv said.

***

The trip back to the apartment was uneventful. Adam looked around constantly, gawking and blinking at all the structures. Shiv got that through his system earlier in the day, but he couldn’t blame the Young Lord. It was a very impressive place. It would be more impressive when Shiv wasn’t so exhausted.

As he landed—and Adam spent a few moments staring, trying to process that he just rode on a demon—Shiv saw a few Umbrals taking a midnight stroll and waved to them. To his surprise and satisfaction, one of the younger ones waved back.

“You know, I was worried there for a second,” Uva said, walking ahead of him. “I was worried that things were going to go wrong.”

“Well, you had a lot more faith in me than I did. I was worried for a lot longer than just a second. Still, someone needed to take care of poor Adam. I couldn’t leave him on his own.”

“You’re a godsdamn bastard, Shiv,” Adam said from behind as they passed another group of Umbrals—one of whom Shiv saw earlier, the daughter and mother. The child pointed at them. “Look, Mama, there’s another surfacer! And this one’s not wearing pants. I can see the crack of his butt!”

Adam turned around, covering his rear, trying to keep his hospital gown tighter around himself. Shiv couldn’t help it—he threw his head back and laughed.

“You can indeed, child,” Shiv said. “Savor the sight. You won’t see anything rounder in quite some time.”

And that broke Uva as well. She folded over, clawing along the walls as they entered the elevator. “Shiv, don’t say that.”

Adam Arrow looked between all of them, and the Umbral mother looked especially horrified. Her expression was mirrored on Adam’s face as she pulled her child away.

As they marched toward the elevator, Adam’s face went through several shades of red, and he kept his back pointed to the corner. “This is a nightmare,” he muttered to himself. “This is a nightmare. It must end soon. This is a nightmare.” It quickly became a mantra.

Once Uva and Shiv got themselves under control, she hit the button, and they started going up.

“I’ll get him some clothes in the morning,” Uva said.

Shiv blinked. “You got me some clothes awfully fast after my fight with the raven,” he said.

Uva smirked, offering him a knowing smile. “I did, didn’t I?” And that filled Shiv with a certain something. It was a pretty warm something.

“This is a nightmare,” Adam muttered again.

As they got back to Shiv’s temporary apartment unit, Uva opened the door for him, and Shiv gestured for Adam to go in. The Young Lord stumbled inward, looking around the corner as if expecting attacks, his body on alert. Shiv, meanwhile, smoothly spun and leaned against the door frame again.

“So,” Shiv said, “morning, breakfast, surprise, creative.

“Those are words.” Uva chuckled. She then looked behind him and frowned slightly. “You’re going to be fine, right? He’s not going to try to kill you or anything?”

Shiv shrugged. “Oh, he might try. Doesn’t mean he’ll succeed.”

“Well, if he does, I’ll come by and avenge you in the morning,” Uva said. And the warmth inside Shiv only grew.

“I’ll be most flattered. Now, sister, you look a little bit tired. You should go to sleep—get some more rest. It’s been an eventful day for you, too.”

“Good night, Shiv,” she said.

“Technically morning,” Shiv replied. “But yeah, I’ll see you in a few.” She turned to leave. He stared at her until she told him off mentally, and finally he closed the door.

He turned and nearly ran face-first into Adam Arrow.

“Adam,” Shiv said, inching back a few steps, “you’re standing a little close.”

Adam continued squinting at him with his arms crossed. “How long have you known her?” he asked, his voice high with suspicion.

“Since a few hours ago,” Shiv answered honestly.

Adam blinked. “Impossible.”

“Very possible,” Shiv said. “Anyway,” he grabbed Adam’s shoulder and pointed at the couch. “That’s you.” He pointed at the bedroom. “That’s me. I’ll see you in the morning. Try not to go insane.” Then he started walking toward his bedroom.

“Wait, Shiv!” Too late.

“Sleeping time, Adam. If you bother me, they’ll breed you. They’re in the walls. They live here too.” As Shiv finished his words, Adam started looking from side to side, twitching at shadows. “Valor, time to go back to meditation.” Shiv closed the door behind him as he heard Adam calling out again. “Sorry, Adam. I’m used up for the day. Very exhausted!” He climbed onto the sheets, peeling off his clothes before placing the dagger on the desk nearby.

“You… you can be quite amusing, Shiv,” Valor chuckled.

“Yes, you too. With all the ‘shove me into his eye’ thing.”

“I was being very honest.”

“Oh,” Shiv said. “Well, I would have done it if he fought me.”

“I know. That’s why I told you to do it.” They both laughed. Life was good. “So, you and Sister Uva?”

Shiv smiled. “Well, there’s no ‘me and Sister Uva’ yet,” he said. “But we’ll see what she says after breakfast. I might push my luck then.”

“Have you talked to many women, Shiv?”

Shiv considered it. “No.”

“Well, you seem very comfortable.”

Shiv shrugged. “I found out recently that I enjoy talking to people, I suppose, when they’re not mean to me.”

“Don’t we talk comfortably?”

“Yes. But not like that. Although, who knows. I might find out you’re really pretty when you pop out of the dagger.”

“I think I’m starting to understand your charm a bit more, now, boy. It’s a casual audacity. Almost instinctual.”

“I suppose so. What’s the worst that can happen beyond death? Or a mind-breaking?”

And then, from the living room, Shiv heard Adam start muttering about how everything was a nightmare again.

“Of course, after the company you’ve kept for most of your life,” Valor began, “I’m beginning to understand why you’re having such an easy time with us.”

“It’s good when people understand,” Shiv said. “Good night, Valor. For good this time.”

“Good night, Shiv. If he interrupts us again—”

“Yes,” Shiv said. “I will kill him with you.”

“That’s all I ask,” Valor said.

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