“I am not here to give you a lecture or to tell you everything will be alright. It will not be alright. There will always be something missing from your life from now on. I have suffered the same loss. You have my condolences. And I wish I could give you more.”

“Yeah, thanks. Now fuck off.”

“Do you have another bottle?”

“Didn’t you say you hated alcohol? Didn’t you say that it was the ‘crutch of the insipid and uninspired’?”

“I did. But these are strange days. They should be faced with stranger means. Sometimes we choose self-destruction because it gives us power—or the delusion of power—over the destruction we face.”

“Maia.”

“Yes, my dear?”

“If you’re not going to fuck off, can you at least stop giving me this whole spiritual lecture thing? You said you weren’t going to do it before, but you’re kind of stumbling into it now anyway.”

“My apologies. It is my way of coping with things… You know, I lost twelve lovers and fifteen children before I ever Ascended.”

“Holy shit. Alright, you win. Your tragedy is greater.”

“It’s not a competition. It’s also not the same. After a certain point of loss, there is simply numbness. And then there is a permanent diminishing. Losing someone so dear, so precious, it’s like losing the ability to see a specific color in your life. You will forever be changed. Part of you will be lessened, perhaps disappear entirely. And the more you lose, the more colors will fade. Until it’s all monochrome. That will not get better. What may yet improve, however, is your understanding of yourself.”

“Well, right now, I understand that I want us two to get wasted and stay wasted for as long as I still got left to live.”

“And that is understandable. But the fact that you’ve not chosen to end your life, the fact that you still exist, means that you are still seeking. It means that there is still something that makes you persist.”

“I still got three kids left. They still need me. Right. Wait. Fuck. They have you. Never mind. They don’t need me.”

“Enough. They are respected Pathbearers in their own right. Nothing compared to you, but not so weak that they won’t survive, or at least endure for a period of time on their own. No, you are here because there’s something inside you that still wishes to be here.”

“Then you must understand my feelings better than I do, because I certainly can’t figure this shit out. Shit. I’m empty. I need another.”

“…”

“Thanks.”

“Yet. You can’t figure it out yet, and you don’t want to feel right now. But I will tell you, Jessica, that you are a fine woman. You are more than you think you’re worth. It is why I asked to paint you that day, you and the rest of your family. For it is the most beautiful and resilient rose that blooms within the ruins.”

“…Are you gonna ask me to be your Avatar? Can’t you already draw your own?”

“I haven’t asked you anything. I am just telling you right now to keep an open mind. Someday, when the urge to drink vanishes and all there is only numbness left, come to me, and I might yet give you purpose. It would be my honor to provide you with something to live for.”

-The Educator and Jessica Hawgrave

263 (I)

Accelerated [II]

“Ah, so you finally recruited her. Good, very good. This saves us the trouble of doing things the harder way.” The Educator’s response was not what Shiv had been bracing for.

“Wait, what? You expected this?” Shiv asked.

The Educator’s face creased as she sighed. Shiv still thought it was weird how he couldn’t tell if she looked to be in her late twenties or her late forties by Pathless standards. There were slight crows’ feet at her eyes, and her hair was graying, but otherwise, she would pass for a young woman. “More than expected; I was watching you. And before we go any further, yes, it was exceptionally foolish of you and the other boy to strike a bargain with the Brokers and that interminable fool of a Headmaster without my presence.”

“Then why didn’t you stop us?” Shiv asked. “Why didn’t you—”

“Because,” the Educator cut him off, “I had more important matters to handle, and Udraal required my attention. Yes, lest you forget, he too, is watching, and he has given his full blessing to your endeavor. He says that the slipgate will be a most interesting mechanism for him to examine after he concludes his business with the Tarrasque.”

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“Are you just saying this shit to me so that my paranoia gets worse?” Shiv asked, his eyelid twitching. He could see the Educator doing that, provoking him, punishing him for his decision to keep her out of the loop.

The Educator smirked. “Please, I would never be so childish as to see you penalized this way. In actuality, Udraal has interacted with you several times already. You simply didn’t notice when you were speaking to him. Now, enough of this pointless chit-chat. Bring Jessica here so that I might welcome her personally. It has been too long.”

And with that, the Educator turned away from them, causing her black robes to flutter as she barked orders at Concelhaunt and Merrielmel.

Shiv and Adam traded a look. “You got any idea who might be one of Udraal’s vessels?” Shiv asked uneasily. “Out of everyone we ran into?”

The Gate Lord grew pale with anxiety. “No. Not the slightest clue…”

***

The moment Jessica set foot out of the dimensional pathway and re-entered the Colosseum, she began chuckling with disbelief. “This place? Here? Motherfucker! Hymn, you tricky son of a bitch! If the Inquisition knew this was how you were hiding your operations, half of the worthless fucking bastards would double over from heart attacks.”

Her eyes swept the surrounding space, taking in the precariously stacked crates of drugs and other contraband. She stared off beyond the translucent dome that was cracked high above, allowing a sliver of light to shine through. She narrowed her gaze and seemed to notice something that she couldn’t quite place. A moment later, she shook her head and made her way toward the maze.

“The slipgate is—” Adam was cut off by Jessica before he could explain which way they were going.

“I can feel it,” the Giantsbane said, waving him off. “I can feel the Dimensionality spilling over me even from here. You’re using Gate Infernius to shield your presence. Very, very clever.” She made a snorting sound and then burst into a loud giggle. “You know, Jackie pulled the same trick during our second campaign down South. We were fighting this elf Geomancer asshole’s twin brother. Can’t quite remember his name. He was serving as a mercenary under the orcs, and he turned out to be a pretty good Geomancer himself. Anyway, we were fighting over a bunch of rocks, and it was basically a showdown to see who could control more resources first. This went on for quite a while until Jackie got the fun idea of smuggling some of our own traitor rocks into the formations. Basically, we had a few golems and a couple of Masters who could turn themselves into stone or metal. We snuck them in in the dead of night, and when the fucking elf tried to shape them and reinforce his bastard, our guys burst out from the stone and took him apart. Same idea; good times.” She sniffled wistfully. “Good times.”

“But that’s not the first time he hid someone using steel and stone.” The Educator’s voice came from the maze, and in an instant, Rusty was in Jessica’s hands. Shiv didn’t even see her draw.

The former Ascendant emerged from the jaws of the maze, her robes fluttering around her. The crystal badge that clipped her cloth together at the shoulder was polished to a shine, and Shiv noticed that even the fabric was more vibrant than usual. She had been preparing for this meeting; it mattered to her on some level. She was also unarmed. Her brush was nowhere to be seen, and her pencil was missing as well. He doubted they were far from hand, but she held her arms out to her sides, presenting herself not as a threat but as a welcoming host.

“What’s with the pageantry?” Adam asked, tilting his head.

“Got no clue,” Shiv replied.

“Welcome,” the Educator said. “It is good to see you again after so long, Jessica.”

For her part, the Giantsbane didn’t stride forward or attempt to strike Maia down. Instead, she froze in place. Her arm was still extended, with Rusty pointed at the Educator, but she wasn’t moving whatsoever. Shiv frowned as he noticed how Jessica’s breathing was beginning to speed up.

“Do I… know you from somewhere?” Rusty asked, not even noticing its wielder’s strange behavior. “I feel a… strange sensation. Like… like we have been here before.”

A subtle smile bloomed on the Educator’s face, but it faded as she noticed Shiv watching her. “Once, yes. But I had to make a sacrifice. Not to mention that you were scattered. You hold me no more in your recollections. But I can return what is missing to you. I’m going to reach for the Tome on my back now. Please do not thrust your blade into me. It is a most unpleasant sensation, one I don’t yearn to experience again.”

Jessica still didn’t move, even as the Educator came to a stop a step before the shaking tip of her blade, even as she righted her Tome, pulled it over her head, and held it in front of her chest. Slowly, the Educator undid the warded latches that kept it sealed, and its cover was flung open. Its pages fluttered as if picked up by a gust of wind, so many that Shiv thought they couldn’t possibly all fit within the tome, and he caught glimpses of color, of vivid illustrations depicting countless individuals and places.

He wasn’t the only one. As Jessica beheld the fluttering pages, she suddenly broke from her trance. She let go of her blade and took an explosive step forward. “What was that?” she asked, voice high and eyes wide as she pointed at the tome. “Go back! Go back!”

“Soon,” the Educator said, frowning as she continued to scroll through her pages, trying to find the right one. “I will share in our memories made later. Right now, I need to catch you up on what you have been missing.” Before anyone else could say anything, the tome stopped flipping.

Shiv leaned in. So did Jessica. She stilled.

There, taking up an entire page, Shiv saw a portrait of Jessica Hawgrave in her younger days. She wasn’t wearing her Inertium armor. Instead, she had a battered husk of adamantium enclosing her. What surprised Shiv most, however, was her expression. She was smiling. Truly smiling, not any of the expressions she’d shown him in their conversations. Rusty was there too, looking far different, a thing of red and gold, orichalcum with its edges speckled with black static. Only the beginnings of Dimensionality Mana had settled into the blade. Despite being clearly weaker than its current incarnation, it seemed a far finer weapon, then.

Jessica wasn’t alone in the portrait, however. Beside her was a broad-shouldered man. Where his skin was exposed, it had the texture of stone and steel. He stood two heads taller than Jessica, and he sported a jade beard carved to pointed stalagmites. His eyes gleamed like blue gems, and a soft smile adorned his smooth but stone-shaped face. Though he held the physique of a bruiser, he wore the robes of a Mage, bright blue silks flowing down his body like rivers, and his azure hat was of those round-rimmed and pointed-top designs that people like to wear so much on campus.

Clinging to the legs of Jessica and the man were three children, two girls and a boy. The eldest resembled her father. Her nose was wider, and she had a strange green glow to her eyes. The middle daughter was hiding halfway behind Jessica’s right leg. She was peeking out and had a large, mischievous grin on her face. The final child was a boy. He stared innocently at the painter. His expression was one of confusion. He was likely too young to understand what was happening, not even quite out of his diapers yet.

They stood as a family in an open green meadow. Large flowers curved by the side, framing with nature’s contours. It would have seemed utterly idyllic, if not for the beheaded ogre slumped against a short wall right behind them.

Jessica looked on, enchanted, her mouth slightly open, but it was Rusty who spoke first again. “I… remember this moment. I remember taking that beast’s head. I remember. But… how?”

And finally, Jessica found her voice once more, though it was more shaky than Shiv had ever heard it. She looked up and met the Educator’s eyes. “Maia?”

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