Chapter 47: Chapter 47: PAIN

Breathe in through your nose and hold, but not too long to make you gasp when you finally breathe out,” N’varu instructed, sitting in the meditative position in front of Sagiri. they had been using their one hour before bed to meditate.

“That is what I have been doing all along,” Sagiri commented, but maintained his closed eyes, trying to sleep back into his meditative slumber.

“No, that is meditative slumber. I am talking about conscious slumber.” N’varu explained in a level voice as usual. He sometimes acted as if he were older when he was only a few months older than Sagiri.

“Nothing has changed. It’s a waste of my time,” Sagiri huffed, totally not understanding why N’varu was so hellbent on having him.

“You are almost sixteen in a few days, you need to regulate your body and take control,” N’varu explained as if it made sense. He did not understand the guy, but he was not his enemy. The power within him had even labeled the twins enemies, and he could only perceive anger from them. They were the opposite of N’varu.

“What will change when I turn sixteen?” he asked, his eyes shut. They were perched on a raised platform deep in the shadow colonnade arena.

“I can not tell you something which has not happened yet,” N’varu answered, and Sagiri finally snapped his eyes open. He rarely felt impatient, but N’varu had a way of making him feel frustrated.

“You know I can go through your memories,” Sagiri snapped.

“In your state, you can only get to read my frequent thoughts. and right now, they are those of disappointment. besides, you have to catch me first.” N’varu remained unfazed, almost sinking deeper into meditation.

“You were begging me to read them a week ago,” Sagiri said, remembering how N’varu had addressed me.

“That was before I realized you were still a child and could not remember even your ties,” N’varu said, opening his eyes, which were all white with no blacks. He always did that when he was in a meditative state of consciousness.

“I am capable of going through memories.” Sagiri stared at the boy beside him as he blinked once, his abyss Violet pupils replacing the all white.

“A civilian, yes, but do you think you can read Principal Senraki’s memories with where you are at now. You can’t even access yours, which is why we are still here,” he said, the here as if it did not mean the shadow colonnade arena, as if the here was the situation and not the place.

“Just learning to be in conscious slumber will help me remember then?” Sagiri asked, his voice full of determination.

“That is all up to you. Now follow my instructions,” N’varu said with finality, the abyss violet disappearing. white took over, and he sank back to his meditative consciousness.

“Its more than just meditation,” he said. “You don’t sink. You hover in your consciousness while still aware of your surroundings, as your eyes are open. Let all your senses be active yet controlled.”

Sagiri straightened his back. N’varu corrected it with two fingers, pressing lightly between his shoulders.

“Comfort invites sleep,” N’varu said. “We deny it. Your posture is still comfortable.”sagiri listed carefully.

“Breathe shallow,” N’varu continued. “Then breath deeps the slow, not enough to relax.” Sagiri obeyed. His chest barely moved. He did not know how to breathe in all those patterns and still keep his six senses open while he closed his eyes. So he had to keep his eyes open and focus on nothing. Falling into a meditative state with eyes open was a task in itself.

“Now split your attention,” N’varu said. “Half on your breath. Half of the room. Hear everything. Name nothing.” Fabric shifting. His own pulse. Sagiri felt them all.

“When the body asks to drop,” N’varu said quietly, “you refuse. When the mind asks to drift, you follow. When you start feeling bored, you make your mind stay alert.” Sagiri’s limbs grew heavy. He wanted to close his eyes and fall into meditative slumber, but he refused the urge. the opposing activities in his mind were not making it easy for him to concentrate. His six senses competed with his mind, and his mind competed with his thoughts. N’varu tapped his wrist once.

“Do not chase sleep. Let it reach for you and miss.” The room dulled. Edges softened. Time stretched thin. Sagiri was still upright and still aware. But distant, suspended between waking and sleep, held there on purpose.

N’varu watched.

“Good,” he said. N’varu’s satisfaction did not last for long, however, because his concentration broke and he snapped out of his conscious slumber. He had not even achieved it. he merely blushed it before everything came crashing down.

“This is not working.” Sagiri breathed, trying again twice, but he snapped out with even shorter intervals in between.

“You are trying to control the process when you should submit to it,” N’varu said, letting his abyss violet take over.

“Let’s stop there for today. It is time to sleep,” N’varu said, allowing himself to yawn before he stood to his feet. He jumped down gracefully and stood back, still waiting for Sagiri.

Sagiri took the long way because he was not in a position to jump. The Tamelku half had done a number on him. If they had not manipulated the situation for them to land in the pool, then he could have ended with a broken back or several broken ribs.

“Why did you even have to go and play with Makea and Nakea?” N’varu said, watching him walk as if he were an old man who had progressed in years.

“I already told you it was Captain Salka,” Sagiri said, feeling every inch of the pain of being body slammed.

“You could have said no,” N’varu answered, not missing a beat. “You wanted to get even, didn’t you?” N’varu asked, starting to walk when Sagiri finally stood beside him.

“Well, if he had backed down, that could have been seen as a sigh of weakness,” Sagiri answered, almost regretting his words, but if he could go back in time, he could still have gone with the same decision.

“Then you could have at least baited your time,” N’varu said, jumping down another fallen pillar while Sagiri went around it.

“They hate me. I don’t have to put them in my thoughts,” Sagiri answered, not wishing to fill his mind with ideas of plotting.

“Your refusal to back down only showed that you were rising to the occasion. Backing down to move forward in the future is not a show of weakness.” N’varu scolded, and Sagiri wondered when he had acquired himself a mother.

“Well, it’s already done, I can only look forward,” Sagiri said, and silence followed till they walked out of the shadow colonnade.

Sleep did not provide any relief for Sagiri, and he was still sore when he woke up in the morning. During meditation, he pulled his hood even lower, covering his eyes more, and tried to fall into meditation slumber, but he failed and just resolved to his usual meditative slumber. The morning training went as usual, and he still finished last but not further behind. Without missing meals anymore and moving up a serving to avoid getting glares from King Bami, his stamina had improved.

After the training, he was not too spent, and the adrenaline had numbed the pain from Makea. He was in a good mood after not finishing far behind and not collapsing after training. Training was starting to get more fun, and he did not hate the idea of running around the arena much anymore. It was progress, and he was happy about moving forward a step.

He saluted the warden on the fourth year pentagon, and he was sure he could make it in time to serve himself food this time. He turned a corner and was running up a ramp. He was about to turn the last corner to get into the dining wing when the smell hit him. They must have hidden very well or moved faster than he could react because before he could brace himself, a force hit him hard, sending him tumbling down the ramp before he landed awkwardly on his shoulder and the back of his neck.

Before he could react again, something heavy again slammed into his chest, making the remaining air in his chest rush out, breaking a few ribs loudly. A hand lifted him and slammed him into the wall so forcefully his head spun. Darkness gathered in front of his eyes, and he danced at the gate of unconsciousness.

Fists landed heavily on every part of his body so fast he could not even capture a moment to defend using the power within him. A tooth fell from his bleeding mouth with a heavy kick to his head. The attack happened so fast and ended so fast when the one lifting him by the collar left him drop like a sack of potatoes. He retched a mouthful of blood and tried to breathe, but his body combusted into pain. He could not scream because his broken ribs pierced into his lungs.

“Is this how I die?”

He whispered to himself when a darkness slammed into him, pulling him into consciousness. It was his body’s way of running from the pain, and he gave in, allowing himself to be swallowed.

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