Chapter 113: Self-Pitying.

“Everything’s going to be okay, Captain. I’m sure Prince Helios is just worried about you. You were just in the medical tent hours ago, and then suddenly disappeared for hours.” Fizzy spoke in a comforting tone. “Don’t be too upset.”

Ezra was beyond upset, and he had every right to be. “This is the first time His Highness has suspended me. No matter what I did before, they never even… not even Aamon!”

“Is susypen bad?” Lior asked, tilting his head.

Gently, Lior patted Ezra’s back.

“Suspend,” Ezra corrected. “And yes, it’s bad. It means I’m not allowed to work anymore, and that’s very bad, Lior.”

“But… you get to stay here with us… that good?” Lior asked again, his eyes wide with curiosity and a hint of worry.

“Right, it’s nice, Lior. That’s the only good thing about this,” Ezra said as he patted Lior’s head. Lior smiled. “But people need saving, and I’m the strongest knight ever.”

“I thought Crimson Fae was the strongest?”

Fizzy chuckled and glanced at Ezra, waiting to see how he would answer.

“Crimson Fae is just a candidate,” Ezra said as he ran a hand through his hair. “I can’t even talk to Aamon because he agreed to it.”

’Helios is being completely irrational, and I don’t even understand why,’ Ezra thought. Helios was usually never irrational.

As far as arguments went, this was their first real one in years. The last one had been so long ago, Ezra couldn’t even remember what it was about. This realization deepened the pit in his stomach, leaving him uneasy.

He just…

Ezra took a deep breath.

A lot of things were happening.

Too much all at once.

His hormones, his emotions, everything felt out of place.

Just when Kaelis’ investigation and revelations weren’t enough, he went into heat, had that whole mess in the forest, and now he was suspended, with Helios clearly upset with him.

Ezra was exhausted.

He was so fucking exhausted.

Too many things had happened. Just days after returning, Ezra watched all his plans unravel, frustration and disappointment rising anew.

Nothing was going his way.

’Everything is fucked. Everything is a mess. I should’ve stayed in our cabin with Lior… I should’ve never come back,’ Ezra thought, the weight of regret and helplessness holding him firmly in place.

The only reason he came back was for Helios, and right now, it felt like he didn’t even know him anymore.

’Hah. I’m self-pitying again.’

It was one of Ezra’s worst habits—spiraling into self-pity whenever things went wrong, even as the awareness brought little relief.

’I promised myself I’d stop this.’ Last seventy promises ago.

When things went wrong, he ended up pitying himself for getting into that situation.

He was fully aware of it, but that only made it harder to change.

Lior shifted closer to Ezra, his small hands still resting on his back.

“Uh… we can just stay here,” Lior said softly. “Fizzy brought a lot of fun things! Very fun! We can just play.”

’Ah, my little one,’ Ezra thought, smiling at him.

Fizzy nodded quickly. “Yeah, exactly. Think of it like… a break. You never take breaks. You just got back from vacation, yeah, but I think you shouldn’t have taken this mission right away.”

Ezra let out a quiet breath.

“You suddenly got thrust into this, Captain. I think making a mistake was bound to happen.”

’Suddenly… yeah…’

That almost sounded funny. As if the kingdom’s problems hadn’t been there from the beginning, and Ezra had only just noticed.

But he looked at Lior.

Then at Fizzy.

They were both trying.

He could see it.

So he forced a small smile. “Alright. A break, huh? Yes, sure.” He wanted to stop his wallowing. In the first place, he didn’t even come back to be a knight.

As Fizzy said, it just… happened.

Lior’s face lit up a little. “Yes!”

“We can eat,” Fizzy added. “Or play something. Or just… talk. Anything that doesn’t involve you nearly dying.”

Ezra huffed lightly. “That narrows it down quite a bit.”

Lior giggled.

’…Fine.’

Ezra leaned back slightly. “What do you two even do for fun when I’m not around?”

Lior tilted his head, thinking. “We can… uh, Fizzy, what was the game? Uh, guess the game!”

“Guessing game?”

“Oh, yes!”

“Or we could go outside and walk around the camp,” Fizzy suggested. “Since you’re… You know… suspended.”

Ezra winced slightly.

“Right. Don’t say it like that.”

“Sorry.”

Lior raised his hand a little. “We can also draw.”

Ezra blinked. “Draw?”

“Yes! Fizzy taught me how to draw,” Lior said proudly.

“…You what?”

’Why has he never shown me the drawings?’

Fizzy snorted. “He’s a bit of a perfectionist, so I’m sure he hasn’t shown you anything because he throws them away after.”

’I’d like to see that, I guess.’

Ezra sighed, but there was a faint hint of amusement now. “Alright. Maybe we can—”

A voice called from outside the tent.

“Captain Ezra…?”

The three of them paused. Ezra looked at the tent’s closed entrance. The voice sounded familiar, but it was a bit unclear, so Ezra gestured for Fizzy to check.

Fizzy frowned. “I’ll check.”

He moved toward the entrance and pulled the flap open.

Ezra shifted slightly, glancing over.

Through the opening, he saw none other than Ricardo.

Standing just outside.

Awkwardly, as if he wasn’t sure why he was there.

Like he wasn’t sure if he should be there at all.

Fizzy stepped aside a bit. “Uh… Captain, it’s… him.”

Ezra already knew.

’Ricardo…’

He pushed himself up.

“I’ll go,” Ezra said, then glanced at Lior and Fizzy. “Stay inside. Stay put.”

Lior nodded immediately. “Okay.”

Fizzy gave a small salute. “Got it.”

Ezra stepped out of the tent.

The air outside felt heavier.

Ricardo looked worse up close.

His eyes were red and swollen. His posture was stiff, like he didn’t know what to do with himself.

“Captain,” Ricardo said quietly. “Can I… speak with you?”

Ezra nodded once. “Of course.”

He stepped a little further away from the tent.

“Let’s talk over there.”

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