Chapter 152: Selfish

CASSIAN

The shower stopped.

A few minutes of silence followed, and then the bathroom door creaked open. A cloud of steam billowed out, smelling of my soap and my shampoo.

Noah emerged, and for a moment, my breath hitched in my throat.

He was clean. His hair was wet and dripping, his face scrubbed of the gala’s grime. The chemical smell was gone, replaced by the familiar scent of my own products. He smelled like me.

He was wearing the black t-shirt Cyan had picked out. It hung off his frame, the shoulder seams halfway down his biceps, the sleeves reaching past his elbows.

The hem hit him mid-thigh, swallowing him in black cotton. He was wearing my gray sweatpants, the drawstring pulled as tight as it would go, but he were still sliding down his hips. He was holding them up with one hand, his fingers buried in the fabric.

He looked small. Vulnerable. Younger.

But most of all, he looked okay.

Something deep in my chest stirred… a dark, possessive territoriality I hadn’t expected. Seeing him in my clothes, smelling like my skin, standing in my bedroom… it hit me with the force of a tidal wave. Mine. The word echoed in my mind, primal and undeniable.

Noah stepped fully into the room, his eyes scanning the space. “Where did Cyan go?” he asked, his voice quiet and small.

“Sent him home,” I said, keeping my tone matter-of-fact. “He’s barely okay himself. He needs to rest.”

Noah’s face fell. “Oh.” He looked genuinely disappointed, his shoulders dropping a fraction of an inch.

An Irrational spike of jealousy flared in my gut. “Why?” I asked, my voice sharper than I intended. “Disappointed to find me here instead?”

Noah’s mouth opened, his eyes widening as if I’d struck him. He looked like he was about to defend himself, but I didn’t give him the chance. I turned away, unable to look at the hurt on his face.

“Don’t be too sad,” I muttered, my voice tight. “I’m going out soon anyway. I just wanted to make sure you were fine first.”

It was a lie. A defense mechanism. I was pushing him away before he could reject me again, building the walls back up before he could see how much I was crumbling.

“Wait… ”

I froze. Noah’s voice was sudden, urgent. I stayed mid-turn, my body going perfectly still.

“I didn’t say anything like that,” Noah said, his voice defensive, almost upset.

I turned back slowly, raising an eyebrow. “Hmm. Is that so? Your expression said otherwise.”

Noah fumbled with the hem of the oversized shirt, his gaze dropping to his feet. “I was just… I felt guilty,” he whispered, the words tumbling out.

“Cyan came all the way here to check on me because of… what happened. And I didn’t even check on him when he had his accident. I’ve been so selfish.”

The jealousy In my chest evaporated, replaced by a sharp pang of regret. I had misread him. Again.

“Don’t beat yourself up about it,” I said, my voice softening. “Cyan wouldn’t hold a grudge. He understands. You should worry more about yourself right now. You’ve been through enough.”

He let out a soft breath. “What about the lady that was with me—Maya is her name.”

Maya Reeves. The young lady my men found tied up in Alex’s car and drugged out too.

“She was sent to the hospital. She’s recovering just fine.” I replied.

“Oh” Noah sighed almost loudly in relief.

And then he hesitated, his fingers twisting in the black cotton. “Are you really going out?” He tried to sound casual, but he was a terrible liar.

“Yes.” I watched his face closely. I saw it then… a quick, jagged flash of fear. He tried to hide it, pulling his mask of composure back into place, but I had spent my life reading the flickers of emotion people tried to bury.

“Oh,” Noah said, his voice forced and bright. “Will you be gone long?”

“Just a short while.”

“Okay. Cool. I guess I’ll just… wait here for you. Alone.”

That last word was loaded. It was a silent plea, a confession of the terror he couldn’t put into words. Less than twenty-four hours ago, he had been trapped in a room with a man who wanted to break him. He didn’t want to be alone in the silence. He didn’t want to be left with his thoughts.

But he was too proud to ask.

“If you don’t want me to go anywhere…” I paused, my voice gentle. “I won’t.”

Noah’s eyes widened. He stared at me in genuine shock. “You can’t… you can’t do that. What if it’s important?”

“I can,” I said firmly. “And I will. You should try being selfish for once, Noah. Ask for what you need.”

I crossed the room in a few strides, closing the distance between us until I could feel the damp heat radiating from his skin. I reached for a small, white towel on the bathroom counter and draped it over his wet head.

I began to pat-dry his hair, my movements slow and rhythmic. I was careful not to pull, treating him with a tenderness that felt foreign and necessary.

“Do you want me to stay?” I asked again, my voice low. I didn’t look at his face; I kept my focus on the towel, making it easier for him to answer without the weight of my gaze.

Inside, I realized I was holding my breath. I wanted him to say it. I needed to hear that he wanted me there… not as a guard, not as a Wolfe, but as me.

“I want you to stay,” Noah whispered. It was so quiet I almost missed it, a tiny sound that barely vibrated in the air.

I leaned down, bringing my face closer to his so I could hear him better. “What was… ”

“ACHOO!”

Noah sneezed. It was loud, sudden, and happened directly into my chest.

We both froze.

I straightened up, blinking, my face inches from his. Noah looked mortified. His face turned a deep, bright crimson that clashed with his wet hair.

“Well,” I said, regaining my composure with a huff. “I guess the cold must have gotten to you. That, or you’re allergic to my clothes.”

“I’m so sorry!” Noah gasped, his hands flying to his face. “I didn’t mean to… that was so gross… I’m sorry, I’m sorry… ”

He started to spiral, his breath hitching as he tried to apologize for a bodily function. I reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder, my grip firm.

“Stop. You have nothing to apologize for,” I said. I waited until he looked up at me, his eyes shimmering with embarrassment. “I’m the one who should be sorry.”

Noah blinked, looking confused. “You? Why?”

“Because I let my pride get in the way of your safety,” I said, the guilt finally finding a voice. “I pushed you toward Alex because I wanted to prove a point. I knew he was dangerous, and I let you go anyway. I’m the reason you were in that room, Noah. And for that, I will be sorry for the rest of my life.”

Noah went still, his gaze searching mine. For the first time, the silence between us wasn’t full of fear… it was full of the truth.

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