Chapter 100: The Moment I Knew

(MAYA)

I’m not one to run from my problems. I’ve always faced them head-on. Which is why, after I go back to the cottage to shower and change, I find myself looking for Griffin. He’s got some explaining to do, and I plan to get my answers.

As I walk through the palace grounds, one of the gardeners is clipping some shrubs, a rake lying next to him. I come to a stop, seizing the rake. “Can I borrow this?”

He stares at me. “Ah, sure?”

“Thanks.”

I march toward the palace, heading straight to Griffin’s office. He’s in there, poring over some documents. “You.”

His head lifts, and his lips curve into that beaming smile of his that always makes my breath stutter. “Maya!” His smile fades into a quizzical look. “Why are you carrying a garden rake?”

I point it at him. “It’s my weapon.”

“Why do you need a weapon?”

I’ve seen Griffin interact with others. I’ve seen firsthand how cold and authoritative he can be. But whenever he talks to me, his tone becomes so gentle and soft that I don’t know how to deal with him. Even now, as he approaches me, abandoning his work, there’s an amused smile playing on his lips, a happiness in his eyes that only shows when he’s looking at me.

I harden my heart. “You’re a shifter. I can’t beat you with my fists because I doubt they’ll do much damage, but I’m sure I can give you a few good whacks with this.”

His amusement just seems to grow. “And why do I need to get whacked?”

He needs to stop looking so darn cute all the time.

I point the rake at him, my tone threatening. “That’s close enough. I don’t like being manipulated, Griffin.”

The laughter and amusement fade from his eyes at my words. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about the fated mate bond, the one you very conveniently kept from me.”

Understanding forms on his face, followed by guilt. “Who told you?”

“Does it matter?” I snap. “I want to know when you were planning on telling me! Once you had completely manipulated me into being glued to your side? The same way you manipulated me into your bed?”

For the first time, I see a flicker of anger in his eyes. “Manipulated? I can’t manipulate you using this bond, Maya. And I did not force you into my bed. You were quite willing.”

My jaw tightens. “This bond is a manipulation in and of itself. It has me feeling things I wouldn’t normally feel.”

He studies me silently for a minute, eyes flashing. “I did not tell you about the bond for a few reasons. The first and foremost being that I knew you would react like this. I understand you better than you think I do. You are a scientist at heart. These bonds are not something you believe in, and if you did, you would only consider them manipulative. For me, the fated mate bond is a precious thing, something to be cherished.”

“What’s your second reason?” I keep my voice steady.

He pauses at my question as if he’s not quite ready to answer it. But he does, honestly, his voice low. “I thought you would reject me.”

His reply has me lowering the rake, stunned. “What?”

He doesn’t meet my eyes now, returning to his desk and busying himself with some papers. “After what you went through at the hands of my kind, and keeping in mind your decision to live in a cottage instead of within the palace, I didn’t think you would want me.” His voice is quiet. “I didn’t want to put the strain of such a decision on you till we got to know each other better. You humans, go on dates and court each other till you decide on a partner. I was considering doing that. I believed that if you saw me as a viable partner for you, you might not reject me so quickly.”

“You are so sure I would’ve rejected you if you had told me.” I feel insulted for some reason. “Do I seem that shallow to you?”

“It’s not about being shallow, Maya.” He finally looks at me, his expression wary. “It’s about the fact that you were imprisoned for almost seven months at the hands of my people. You were helpless, outmatched in terms of strength. I remember you saying that you did not want anything to do with my kind upon returning and that you would only be here till the Silver Ring Organization had been dealt with. I did not want to put the pressure of the bond on you.”

My throat tightens. “You think you can carry every burden yourself? I don’t know how fated mates work, Griffin, but when people marry each other in my world, they are partners in every sense. I am not your inferior, and I don’t need you making decisions for me. You should have told me. We should’ve discussed this.”

He sighs. “I never said you were inferior to me. But not everything can be discussed using logic, Maya. And I wasn’t making decisions for you. I was giving you time. You have just returned. You’re acting as if everything is fine and the past seven months did not happen, but they did. I’m carrying the marks of my imprisonment on my soul, too. You were taken from everybody you loved. You had no idea whether your mother was alive or well. You kept everything inside. Despite how frightened you were, you helped us escape. All of that takes a toll on a person. You think I didn’t see it? You think I wanted to add more burdens on you?”

Unbidden tears rise, and I force them away, blinking furiously. “I don’t want someone making decisions for me.”

“I’m not making any decision for you.” Griffin strides over and grasps me by the upper arms. “I was simply trying to protect you! The Goddess knows someone has to. You keep running around looking after everyone else. Who looks after you?

Who is protecting you?”

The anger weakens inside of me as his words pierce me deeply. “I—I protect myself.”

“As you have for a long time.” Griffin’s voice softens. “But you can’t stop me from wanting to shield you from more pain. I am sorry for not telling you about the bond, Maya. But I will not apologize for protecting you. And if you think that by getting angry, you will stop me from doing the same in the future, you’re wrong. I will always protect you, no matter what the cost may be to me. That is how I feel about you, and it does not arise from the fated mate bond.”

He steps forward and cups my face, his voice fierce. “This feeling comes from that place where my last bit of hope and my desire to live were lost. You gave me hope. You brought light into my life when there was nothing to look forward to. I know I don’t remember every single thing, but I do remember how you made me feel. I remember the woman who was scared of me, yet pushed her food toward me so I could eat because she saw that I needed to, or I would die. I fell in love with the woman who did everything to protect me when it wasn’t of any benefit to her, the woman who starved herself for me even though she barely knew me, even though she thought I might kill her. That is the woman I want to protect now. And you can’t take that away from me.”

My last bit of anger drains away, and I stagger backward, feeling overwhelmed. “I—”

His words make me feel so loved, so precious. I don’t know what to make of these feelings. Nobody has ever made me feel like this before, like I am the center of their universe.

I grip the rake tighter across my chest, feeling vulnerable and exposed. “Maya—”

“I have to go,” I mumble. “I have to—” I turn around and flee.

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