Chapter 47: Silent Screams

(LOCKE)

This woman is not my Corrine. My Corrine was soft and shy. She had a sharp tongue that made unexpected appearances.

But I like this Corrine, too. I like how she stands up for herself. She has changed, but then, so have I.

I’ve tried everything: talking to her, trying to protect her, telling her the truth about why our son needs me around him. But she doesn’t seem to care about any of it.

An apology?

I stare blindly into the dark house. Apologize? Me?

I think I’ve expressed regret for the way I treated her. Isn’t that an apology?

I hear rustling and then catch a familiar scent as Sigrid’s weight settles down next to me on the bench.

She sighs. “I take it didn’t go well?”

“She despises me, Sigrid.” It’s a strange feeling, an odd ache in my chest, to be hated by Corrine.

“No, she doesn’t. But she is afraid to trust you. The kind of betrayal she experienced has made her wary. Can you blame her?”

“But I never betrayed her!” I protest angrily.

“I’ve told her so.”

Sigrid doesn’t say anything for a full minute before she looks at me. “If you were in her shoes, would you believe you? Having your fated mate turn their back on you is very painful, Locke. There was a lot of damage done at the very beginning of your relationship. If you’d had more time together, maybe things would not be like this. But your time together was limited.”

“I treated her well!” I feel more frustrated than ever. “I can’t—”

“Locke.” There’s a finality to Sigrid’s voice that makes me stop. “Like I was saying, if you two had had more time, things would have been different. Your bond would have been stronger.”

My wolf paces inside my head, unable to understand why our mate won’t come back to us. I don’t understand it, either. I’m here. She’s alive. We have a child. We should be together! She should be happy to see me. She should have sought me out earlier. Told me she wasn’t dead.

“What am I supposed to do, though? She won’t be able to tame our son’s wolf. In another year or so—”

“This isn’t about Finn’s wolf,” Sigrid says abruptly. “The two of you are so alike, both refusing to face the truth. She needs time, Locke. She believes me; I could see it in her eyes. She’s fighting with herself. She needs time to accept the truth, to believe that you weren’t behind the events that took place eight years ago. She needs time to accept that her reality and the foundations of this new life she has here were built on a misunderstanding.”

I’m quiet for several minutes, recalling how agonized Corrine had sounded back then, so shaken. “Sigrid? Was I really that terrible to her in the beginning?”

“Yes. The girl had already been broken by everybody else in her life. You were supposed to be her safe haven, her fated mate, the one who would protect her. And even you told her she was worthless. I can’t blame her for reacting this way.”

I look at Sigrid with curiosity. “Out of all the people you know, why are you so protective of Corrine?” It bothers me. It always has. From the very beginning, Sigrid was drawn to her, hovering over her like a mother wolf guarding her cub. I don’t remember her being that way with me or even with her own son, Rothan.

Sigrid suddenly chuckles, a long, drawn-out sound. Shaking her head, she finally says, “She reminded me of a baby bird I once rescued as a child. It had a broken wing, probably from being pushed out of the nest by its mother.” Her lips curve sadly. “I took it home, and my father helped me care for it. It was so fragile and so distrusting. It had been abandoned by its mother and its siblings, left to die. I tried to care for it, but it had lost the will to live.

Ultimately, it passed away. I was very young then, and its death troubled me. My father told me that not every living thing is physically strong, and not every living thing possesses a strong will. Some beings are so broken that the desire to live simply fades away. I saw that same desolation in Corrine’s eyes, a hopelessness that told me she was on the verge of giving up. She just needed some kindness, some love. So, I gave it to her.”

She tilts her head to look at me. “That child was so desperate for affection that she thrived under it once she received it. Had you given her the love that she craved, she would never have left, Locke. You could have told her the sky was falling, and she would’ve put her faith in you. But you broke her trust so early on, that the remaining fragments were too disjointed by the time the two of you started building your relationship.”

“I looked after her.”

“You did, and that is probably why she tried to believe you till the very end, till Rothan told her about the seal on the letter.”

I swallow, lowering my gaze. “She wants me to apologize. Can you believe that? Me! I’m the king of the—”

“You’re her mate.” Sigrid cuts me off. “Pride and ego have no place in a relationship, Locke. You’re not her king, and she’s not your subject. She’s your mate.” Sigrid gets to her feet. “If you’re tired, I can ask Derrick or Rothan to come watch the house.”

I shake my head. “No. This is my family. I’ll protect them.”

“Even when she shuns you?” Sigrid asks quietly.

I don’t look at her. “She’ll always be mine. I lost her once. Never again.”

Sigrid’s hand comes to settle on my head. “Be patient, Locke. And think over what I said. You’re not a king when it comes to your relationship. You’re her protector, her shield, and her mate.”

I nod.

Sigrid leaves, and I lean back against the park bench, staring at the night sky. Even the sky here is hazy, unclean. The air is putrid. Yet, she wants to stay here.

I let out a long breath, recalling Corrine’s words from before.

“Nobody calls me worthless here. Nobody treats me as if I have no dignity.”

“Do you know what it’s like to suffer your whole life and then find your fated mate, only to be told that even they don’t want you? Do you know how small I felt when you said such cruel things to me?”

I stand up and walk toward the trees, feeling restless. I know I wasn’t fair to her in the beginning, but I did try to look after her later on. Even as I think that, though, it seems like I must be wrong. After all, if I did everything right, why wouldn’t she want to be with me now?

I mean, I gave her my mother’s greenhouse. I had never let anybody use that greenhouse, not even Sigrid.

Did I ever tell Corrine that? Did I ever tell her how important the greenhouse was to me? I had never intended to give it to her, but I wanted her to have a place where she felt safe. I had begun to care for her. I thought she knew. Looking after her and giving her things that mattered to me were the only ways I knew to show my feelings. Were they not enough?

I stare at the ground, not knowing what to do. I’m not as cultured as Erik; I never received that type of education. I’m well aware that I’m not the most tactful person in a room.

My whole life, I’ve only known the battlefield. I never got a chance to receive the formal royal education that my father had received when he was a boy. The elders wanted to control me, to use my inexperience and naivety to rule through me.

Sigrid tried her best to shield me, but she was a mere maid. She couldn’t protect me. But Sigrid had held another role during my parents reign, so she had enough resources to send me to the border to fight without alerting the elders. She remained at the castle, sending me letters and teaching me politics through our correspondence. I don’t know how she managed it, but she held the kingdom together for the two years I was at the border. It was the one place where I was safe from the elders, who were too scared to step foot there unless surrounded by guards.

Sigrid has never mentioned what happened in those two years. When I returned, her son Rothan had just had his ninth birthday, and her mate had been executed for treason. Her head probably would have been on the chopping block next had I not taken control of the kingdom. She never thanked me for saving her, and I never thanked her for keeping my kingdom secure for me.

Our bond was silent and unspoken for the next couple of years while I fought at the Veil. I appointed her as my delegate during my absence, a decision the elders did not dare oppose because I was no longer the grief- stricken boy who had just lost his parents. When I finally returned to claim my seat on the throne, I offered her power and status, and she refused both,simply wanting to look after me. She was the one who suggested the position of head maid, and I gave it to her.

Without Sigrid, I would be a puppet in the hands of the elders right now. She sent me away at a critical time to protect me. It was a sacrifice, and she knew it. I have never been a proper royal. Because of me, the wolves of the North are considered barbarians. I have never before wished that I had received the usual royal education, but today I do. If I had studied etiquette and politics from the right tutors, I would know how to talk to Corrine, how to convince her through my words and actions. I wouldn’t be this brute that she wants to stay away from.

I doubt Corrine would appreciate me bringing the head of a monster to her. She wouldn’t think it very classy. And Corrine is classy. She still carries herself elegantly, with so much grace that I could watch her all day. Even when she gets angry, she is mesmerizing. Ravenna is nothing like her. She acts like a princess, but she’s not as refined as my Corrine. She’s not as beautiful or charming.

From the moment I laid eyes on Ravenna, I felt disgust.

If I had known back then that Corrine was still alive, I might have been able to get rid of Ravenna. But the elders’ interference, their threats, and my already shattered peace of mind had me choosing to protect the kingdom and just leave the castle and Ravenna behind. But now—Now I know my Corrine is alive and well. She is the rightful queen. I finally have a reason to dispense with Ravenna.

It’s not going to be easy. The elders will protest. But I don’t care anymore. Maybe if I bring their heads to Corrine…

I blink as another idea strikes me. If I bring Ravenna’s head to Corrine, won’t that prove to her that I—

The light in one of the rooms of the house turns on. Instantly alert, I fix my eyes on it.

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