Chapter 460: Mummy Themed Funeral

“Now, that’s a cute little coffin. Is it curved of one huge ass yellow sandstone and has an big ass owl curved into its lid? I… like it. It gives the whole mummy vibe. Now, I get why the whole place is covered in toilet paper and cobwebs as if it were Halloween,” I said to Dee3, trying my best to hide my true thoughts, as I placed the pristine curse prosthetics of Mr. Birdie in it. It was not Mr. Birdie, but it belonged to him, we had to make do with it.

At least Mr. Birdie had his curse prosthetics to leave behind. We curse users, however, are damned never to get a proper burial or any kind of send-off. Our bodies are simply devoured by our own curse cores after death, as if it were a punishment for practicing the curse arts. It’s not like we care what happens after we die, but those we leave behind are robbed of a proper chance to say goodbye. This was because whoever kills us almost certainly collects our curse tools or cores as their loot, leaving nothing behind to mourn.

This was why I hated attending funerals, as it was just a stark reminder of what was inevitable for us all. It always makes me question, what am I struggling so hard for? Regardless of what I do, one day death was going to come for everyone I care about and for me.

It was unavoidable.

Honestly, sometimes I felt like we were born with one purpose — to die. However, all of us were doing everything in our power to avoid that and keep struggling, trying to give other meaning to our lives in the short time until death catches us. It felt like we were procrastinating on our purpose.

Yep, my mind can get pretty dark when faced with my family and my mortality. I guess my unconditional love for them and myself has its flaws.

“Dee3 said that ’Mummy’ was Mr. Birdie’s favorite movie. So, I decided to throw a ’Mummy’ themed funeral,” Lyra took credit for the ridiculous funeral arrangements, causing me to stare at her in disbelief. I grabbed her wrist and dragged her to the side, excusing ourselves from Dee3.

“What the heck is wrong with you? I asked you to help Dee3 prepare for a funeral, not a party. Funerals come with a default theme — goodbyes and closure,” I growled at my clueless elder sister.

I rubbed my brow in irritation, trying to figure out how to salvage the situation. The arrival of the uninvited guests on the estate to attend the funeral forced us to consider whether we should start the funeral a lot earlier than we were planning to, when actually I had yet to send the timings and location to the people I actually planned to invite.

Therefore, I had Specroll email or text the details to everyone, asking them to come asap. I know it was not very thoughtful of me, but I need more people I know on the ground than I don’t.

Janice, Delores, Evil Eyes, McSuile guards, and Matthews, along with her team, were vetting the uninvited guests. Making sure everyone was here to attend the funeral and not crash it. Unbeknownst to us, it had grown into a major event.

I know Dee3 was a legend in the curse community. Still, I can’t believe that this many people were willing to risk being charged for associating with a known felon just to get in Dee3’s good graces. Not everyone here was with an agenda of their own. Many were here to support the Legendary Dee3. Like, for example, Layla and her colleagues. Well, they were dying to get an opportunity to meet or even talk with the Legendary Dee3. I will give them a pass considering their intentions were innocent and driven by pure admiration for Dee3.

“But Dee3 and the cyborgs like it,” Lyra defended weakly, knowing that sometimes she can get too excited and force her thoughts on those around her. Not to mention, Dee3 was too timid, she wouldn’t speak up if she were really doing that to her and just go along with it. Realizing this, she couldn’t help but utter, “Fuck, I messed up the funeral, didn’t I?”

Seeing Lyra realize her mistake, I prepared to assure her not to worry and I will fix it, but Dee3’s voice sounded, interrupting me, informing, “Ace, she didn’t force the theme on us, we really do like it. Just because humans prefer their funerals with the theme goodbye and closure, doesn’t mean we have to do the same thing.

I know Mr. Birdie the best.

He was quiet and observant, very protective of his friends. He wouldn’t like to be the reason why his friends were sad and rather prefer to be the reason they were happy, having the time of their life. This ’Mummy’ themed funeral gives us the opportunity to do just that. Thunder, Mitsy, and others are already preparing to enact the entire movie as a play to the guests in honor of Mr. Birdie.

Also, don’t worry about the guests. It was the same when I was working for the government. Let them wait. We will start the funeral when the moon’s out, just as we planned. Mr. Birdie loves gazing at the moon, he always pestered me to let him out so he could gaze at the moon,” Dee3 instructed, immediately solving most of the issues with funeral plaguing me. Then she asked, “I planned to surface the dungeon and open the ceiling to let the moonlight shine on the coffin during the entire funeral. Will that be okay?”

“The whole time?”

“Yes.”

“Sure, go ahead.”

I agreed with Dee3’s request, thinking someone in the guest had the curse art or tool to help me hide the dungeon in the gaping hole in my family estate from my family for the duration of the funeral.

“Also, I built a mid-sized pyramid deep underneath your estate to bury Mr. Birdie’s coffin at the end of the funeral. Lyra said it was fine, but I wanted to check with you just in case.”

“Awesome. No problem.”

I nodded my head vigorously, reassuring myself that Dee3 was a professional. When building her underground pyramid for Mr. Birdie’s burial, she would have accounted for the underground water system and left no gaps in the ground. She knew better than to risk the fields caving in from heavy rain or the weight of farm machinery. After all, she built secret underground bases for a living.

Source: Webnovel.com, updated by NovelKeep