Chapter 59: Inexplicable Thoughts.

Bai Yunxian wanted to deny, but at the same time, a voice in his head screamed with agony.

What if he did?

What if he truly kissed him, very gently, just like he truly loved me…

What it would’ve felt like?

!

Bai Yunxian knew it was a dream, yet it was so vivid. His intentions that he hid in the bottom of his heart welled up just like that. And he couldn’t help it.

Bai Yunxian, who had momentarily stopped breathing, let out a silent scream.

’I must be crazy!’

Madness. That’s what it was. There was no doubt about it!

How could he, who had lost all kind of feelings a long time ago, suddenly feel this way towards someone? And that person also has to be… a man? Again?

’Looks like my preference has changed after getting chased by those crazy dogs for along time?

Even if he wanted to deny every possibility of him falling for the cold-hearted lord, Bai Yunxian’s heart trembled at the thought of what he had done.

It was a knot that couldn’t be undone, no matter how much he pulled, it only got entangled even more.

No, does it even matter anymore whatever his gender is?

I can’t believe I’m having such thoughts right now, towards my savior…

As Bai Yunxian was pondering over his own horrible thoughts, Yun Shu already noticed the anxiety he felt.

However, one couldn’t say what she was thinking just by looking at her expression.

“S-So, I mean, I was just, I was in a hurry… to catch up with you. That’s why… I didn’t thought I would fall into such a situation…!”

Stammering and making excuses, Bai Yunxian’s face turned as red as a tomato. It was so red that it looked like it would burst at any moment.

Yun Shu, who has been trying to show her sincerity until he believed her, fell silent. His flustered expression was so adorable!

“It seems like I lost my mind and caused big trouble for My Lord. I’m sorry for doing this, I’m really sorry.”

His voice trembled like a baby bird, tears welling up in his eyes.

If possible, Yun Shu wanted to preserved this scene forever because it was so lovely.

Or should I make a golden cage for this baby bird and live it far inside my castle, not letting others see it?

Yun Shu stopped smiling all of a sudden as she put Bai Yunxian down, then turned around from him as she said with a grim voice.

“You should prepare to get going. We will start our trip again right away.”

Oh?

The atmosphere just now was well, wasn’t it? Why did he suddenly turn like that?

Bai Yunxian was confused by Yun Shu’s sudden change of mood, but looking down at her figure, he realized something.

The Yun Shu right now, for some reason, lost his composure. He didn’t look stable emotionally given how his hands were trembling.

“… Then, I’m leaving.”

Bai Yunxian turned around as he left reluctantly, though, he was turning around to see Yun Shu again and again, in each step he took.

After the door closed behind Bai Yunxian, he wasn’t able to see or hear what the other person inside was doing.

’No, it’s not my turn to take care of him yet. I need to be a little more patient.’

As he thought, Bai Yunxian tightened his fists and shook his head, leaving with large steps as soon as he could.

While on the other side, Yun Shu kneeled down on the floor with a loud thud as she took deep breaths.

Just now, the atmosphere inside the room was too dangerous.

’What was I thinking?’

These dark thoughts, I had for the first time in my life, were way over the top…

I can’t believe I’m turning more and more greedy, it’s a relief that at least he listened to me once and left the room right away.

Yun Shu clutched onto her chest tightly as she was sweating profusely, the situation just now was too surreal, but it truly happened.

Staring at Bai Yunxian, Yun Shu actually had some daring thoughts.

After coming into this world, she spent most of her time with Bai Yunxian, perhaps that’s why she had developed a sense of ownership?

She felt a strong desire to suppress her. As she gazed at Bai Yunxian’s beautiful, teary, and weak appearance, she thought,

’Should I kiss his hand now? Would he feel surprised if I were to do that?’

One’s palm is a very sensitive area, so he would undoubtedly be surprised.

Then I firmly clasped his hand, brought him even more closer, and kissed his nose? Not giving him any chance to push me off…

And kissed his beautiful cherry lips again without letting him go?

He’ll be stunned, and I won’t let him go.

She imagined him being startled, trembling like a baby bird, not knowing what to do.

He’ll be shocked and try to get off of me, running away.

But even so, I won’t let him go, I’ll keep him in my arms and kiss him until he is satisfied.

If only our lips could touch even more deeply… would I have felt the taste of chocolates again?

Can we do more than that, maybe, we can take one more step ahead in our relationship…

The thought filled her with anticipation.

Very deeply…

’Stop.’

Yun Shu abruptly stopped the fleeting thought that crossed her mind, seemingly shocked at herself.

That’s when she let Bai Yunxian go, she didn’t want to think more than this. Because if she did, maybe, she won’t be able to stop herself and do something unsightly to him.

Her heart thumped loudly as she felt breathless, her knees gave up as she knelt down on the floor. It felt as if blood was coursing through her body and had doubled in speed.

She didn’t come here to make him feel betrayed once again and live a miserable life with her, she came to become his savior, not to become a shackle chaining him again.

Just by the thought of this, Yun Shu almost had a mental breakdown.

“What happened, host? Your mental health bar is almost collapsing. I went on a vacation for one day, what happened in the meantime for you to collapse like this?” Chen Yi appeared in the air, floating above Yun Shu’s head as he was chattering endlessly. But looking down at the devastated face of Yun Shu, he understood it wasn’t something trivial.

“Just now, I… I thought of something horrible. Chen Yi, I don’t think I’m fit to be here and assist him.” Yun Shu looked up at the chibi figure as she said with teary eyes.

“Oh! If it’s like that, then there is no need to be so sad, mo- host. Actually, the Male Lead’s aura is too strong in this world. That’s why everyone gets attracted to him no matter how much self-control they have. It’s just as you thought, a sense of ownership, because he belongs to you. You wouldn’t fall in the wrong path since I’m here to guide you through this. It’s alright to feel a little attracted to him, since my bias is so handsome!”

Hearing Chen Yi’s flattering voice, Yun Shu’s mood went off.

Is it really like this?

“Just think of him as an icing over the cake, or even as eye candy, it doesn’t matter. Just think of his handsomeness as a driving source for you to continue your missions.” Chen Yi smiled softly at Yun Shu, this made her feel as if this little system also seemed to have emotions.

This is some absurd thought.

Yun Shu also laughed a little as she shook her head, it seems that she was thinking too much. Having thoughts for him to this extent, it’s nothing weird.

Even so, something about this whole thing was a bit off…

“Then, I’ll start preparing right away. Thanks for the help.” Yun Shu smiled as she thanked the system and started to emerge herself at work.

“It’s nothing worth thanking me for. I just told you some instructions. I’ll be off then.” Chen Yi glanced at Yun Shu’s emotional meter once again before making sure it was now stable and secretly heaved a sigh of relief.

Thankfully, it seems she didn’t notice something.

If she did, it would be a disaster. Because it wasn’t time yet to explain everything.

***

After a few moments passed, Yun Shu walked out of the room as she headed downstairs. By now, she has already returned to her old self, the expressionless face as well as the cold icy stare, everything.

“Let’s depart right away.” As Yun Shu instructed after getting inside the carriage, she looked around the two people sitting here from before, then pretended as if they didn’t exist and sat down, closing her eyes.

Feng Haoran and Bai Yunxian exchanged glances between each other, but none of them didn’t dare to speak up.

Under the gloomy atmosphere, the journey towards the border started once again.

Source: Webnovel.com, updated by NovelKeep