Chapter 54: Fearsome as a soggy noodle

“Welcome back, my Lord,”I opened my eyes, expecting to see the familiar surroundings of Nazarick, but instead, my vision was immediately filled with a pair of gigantic… milkers? Dangling right in front of my face.

Holy moly, mother of all boobs, of course I couldn’t say that out loud,

The owner of said impressive assets turned out to be none other than Albedo, who stood before me with tears glistening in her eyes. Her expression was a mixture of relief, joy, and—dare I say it—a hint of pride?

“My Lord, you’re awake!” Albedo exclaimed, her voice quivering with emotion as she reached out to touch my face, her massive mammaries threatening to eclipse my entire field of vision.

On the side, I noticed Shalltear, Cocytus, Aura, Mare, Demiurge, Sebas, and the Pleiades also present, their expressions ranging from relief to curiosity.

“My Lord, can I ask why you were not consuming blood?” Demiurge inquired, his tone polite but curious.

“Why you ask, Demiurge.”I replied, sitting up straight on the bed.

Demiurge cleared his throat, adjusting his glasses as he prepared to explain. “Well, my Lord, as your loyal servant, it is my duty to ensure your well-being. And as a vampire, blood is an essential source of nourishment for you. Your prolonged abstinence from blood consumption has raised some concerns among the Guardians.”

I couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow at Demiurge’s explanation. Seriously? Was he suggesting that my coma was all because I wasn’t sucking down enough blood smoothies? Talk about a unique diagnosis.

“It’s because of your diet, you fell into a coma,” Demiurge continued, as if he had just cracked the case wide open.

Okay, hold up. My dear Demiurge, the reason I took an extended nap was because Death herself wanted to chat and hand me a fancy system. Not because I was skipping out on my daily dose of hemoglobin.

But how on earth do I explain that without sounding like I’ve gone completely batty? “Oh, by the way, folks, it wasn’t the lack of blood that put me in a coma. It was just your friendly neighborhood Death paying me a visit.”

Yeah, that would go over well.

I glanced around at the gathered Guardians, each of them looking at me with varying degrees of concern and confusion. Great, now they probably think I’ve lost my marbles along with my appetite for blood.

But hey, I’m the Lord of All Bloodline, right? Surely, I can survive without guzzling down pints of the red stuff like it’s happy hour at a vampire bar.

I cleared my throat, trying to muster up some semblance of seriousness. “Ah, yes, about that whole coma thing… It’s actually a funny story…”

Nope, that didn’t sound convincing at all.

“Uh, you see, it’s more of a… supernatural circumstance,” I stumbled over my words, mentally kicking myself for not coming up with a better explanation.

Demiurge raised an eyebrow, clearly skeptical of my vague response. “Supernatural circumstance, my Lord?”

“Yeah, you know, the usual. Death, systems, the whole shebang,” I replied, trying to play it cool while secretly praying that Demiurge wouldn’t press any further.

“Can you explain it, My Lord.” Demiurge asked.

Ah, Flying fuck. You know what? Screw it. I’m just going to tell the truth.

“Actually, I had an intense battle of stamina and virgo—uh, physical intercourse (didn’t say out loud)—with Death. And after that, she gave me a system to travel through different worlds,” I blurted out, unable to hold back the truth any longer.

Demiurge’s eyes widened in shock, his glasses nearly slipping off his nose. “You… you what, My Lord?” he exclaimed, clearly taken aback by my revelation.

“Yeah, it was pretty wild,” I continued, feeling a strange sense of pride at my conquest over Death herself.

“So let me get this straight,” Demiurge said slowly, as if trying to process the absurdity of my words. “You had a fight with Death, who came to claim your life, but you fought Death and emerged victorious. And not only that, but you even asked for compensation from Death in the form of a ‘System’ thing. And to top it all off, you made Death cry for mercy?”

Ah, it seems he misunderstood my words in the wrong way. Here we go, buckle up for the ride.

“As I would expect from you, My Lord,” Demiurge said, his voice filled with admiration. “You truly are the strongest being in existence. To think you not only fought Death and emerged victorious, but you also made Death cry for mercy.”

The rest of the Guardians also followed his lead, showering me with praise. Well, this escalated quickly. But hey, who am I to argue with a room full of admirers?

Strongest being? Who, me? I can’t help but chuckle at the absurdity of it all. Have any of them seen my stats? I’m like a premium tuna in a sea of sharks. But hey, I’ll take the compliment.

As I basked in the glory of their adoration, a nagging thought crept into the back of my mind. Should I set the record straight and tell them the truth? I mean, how long could I keep up this charade before someone caught on to the fact that I was about as fearsome as a soggy noodle?

But just as I was about to open my mouth and spill the beans, a familiar voice echoed in my mind. It was Death, of course, always there with her cryptic advice and enigmatic wisdom.

“Just let things be, Dear,” she said, her tone tinged with amusement.

“Why?” I asked, unable to resist the urge to challenge her cryptic words.

“Because it’s fun to watch you trying to clear up their misunderstanding,” Death replied, her voice dripping with mischief.

I couldn’t help but let out a resigned sigh. Of course, Death would find entertainment in my predicament. After all, what’s a little chaos and confusion among friends?

So I decided to take Death’s advice to heart and embrace my newfound role as the misunderstood hero. After all, if the Guardians wanted to believe I was some sort of invincible warrior, who was I to burst their bubble?

~~~

[In my patron, Highschool DXD arc ended and Demon Slayer Arc just started.]

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