Chapter 355: Context

“…” It’s been 5 days since we moved the troops to the coastal area, I’m here with Freya overseeing and I must say I’m surprised.

“Freya, how have they already mapped 50% of this huge area?” I question incredulously, they didn’t use magic, they walked and drew the map of every point for maximum efficiency.

“It’s just a lot of motivation, Aokitsu… they’re motivated to be rewarded when this is over,” Freya says as she drinks a strange fruit juice, observing the sea.

“The sea is beautiful, don’t you think, Aokitsu?” She asks out of nowhere as I momentarily observe.

“I don’t know, it’s just saltwater, you can’t even drink it,” I don’t know what’s beautiful about it, it’s just a bunch of water.

“It’s a shame you can’t see the beauty of the sea… but I think you should try to enjoy the moment, it’s a rarity to have the sea available like this.”

“In the past, touching the ocean was a taboo, since the goddess who controls all this is quite tyrannical, and it’s only thanks to Pandora that the sea is now minimally accessible,” Freya says with a small smile.

“…Freya, why do you always try to talk to me like this?” I question without understanding, since Pandora said she would be responsible for me and that the traitor’s territory would be passed on to me under Freya’s supervision, she hasn’t stopped having these strange conversations with me.

“Haaa…” She lets out a tired sigh.

“Aokitsu, I’m just trying to teach you to enjoy life a little…” Freya speaks with a sad tone, she’s usually so cold that I’ve never noticed this.

“…” I sit next to her, remaining silent.

“You know, Aokitsu… I… knew Thalor was a traitor,” She says, surprising me.

“…I could have… told Her Majesty, but I didn’t… because I thought it might be better to just keep it to myself, even if something bad could happen in the future.”

“Thalor was… a great friend of mine, and I know my duty well, I’m a servant and should have reported it, clearly I’m loyal, but I also have my feelings… Thalor helped me establish my territory, helped me govern when I had problems, and taught me several things.”

“He was like a father to me… and between the choice of turning him in to Her Majesty and staying silent, letting fate take its course, I… was weak, cowardly, I didn’t tell about him and waited… in the end, the obvious happened, he was discovered on his own.”

“Her Majesty is… very smart, it was obvious that sooner or later she would notice… and when she did, she did something even more obvious, killing the traitor, without mercy, without prison, without second chances.”

“…Not having told her is the same as a crime, by not having spoken that I knew, I’m practically also a traitor… but I also like her, she’s a magnificent king and I didn’t want… to ruin everything.”

“That’s why, Aokitsu, I’m so committed to helping you… I want… to redeem myself from this mistake, I’m trying to show that I’m still loyal to her… besides, I don’t doubt that Her Majesty suspects me.”

“Her gaze is no longer the same for me, although something still holds her back from trying to go deeper, so I don’t know if this is a second chance, or if she just thinks killing me isn’t worth the cost yet, after all I lead one of the territories,” Freya speaks with sadness in her voice.

“…”

“And… ironic, isn’t it? Between choosing Her Majesty or choosing Thalor, I decided to just ignore both… since both were important to me… seeing Thalor die was… sad.”

“But it was also what I needed to not have to choose or continue pretending that everything was fine… now all I can do is try to fix this mistake by training you properly.”

“I’m trying to teach you everything you don’t have, and I’m trying to teach you to love our people just the way they are, they can be a chaotic, violent, and morally questionable people for others.”

“However, they are also a loving, welcoming people who know how to enjoy life to the fullest… I know our life is not the best, but it’s all we have.”

“And that’s also why I’m trying to enjoy life now… because I don’t know if Her Majesty will forever ignore that I didn’t tell her about Thalor, or if she’ll kill me when things are stable enough and she no longer needs me.”

“If she decides to just ignore it, I’ll be immensely grateful for the second chance, but if she decides to kill me… I’d understand and just accept it, I can no longer claim to have been loyal to her my whole life when I hid something so important.” When Freya says this, I decide to ask.

“Why don’t you just run away then if you’re afraid of dying?” When I ask this, her gaze becomes even sadder.

“Please don’t try to give me such cowardly ideas, I may have failed, but I’m still loyal to her, and as a servant who made a mistake, I understand if she punishes me with death, I can only wait and do my best to help her.”

“Why do you think Pandora knows?” Pandora, in my view, seemed too tyrannical to let something like this go unnoticed.

“It’s simple, because she no longer ’observes’ me, but something else,” She says, leaving me confused.

“…?”

“You know, I don’t know what your Her Majesty has, but she often looks beyond people, as if she’s seeing something that others can’t see, you can notice that she’s evaluating this sometimes.”

“And when she looked at Thalor, it was different, her gaze became sharper, more dangerous and closed, as if the spiral of her pupil was delving deeper.”

“Normally these spirals seem static, until you stare too much or Her Majesty gets too focused… with that, you can say, if she looks directly at you, it means she’s focused on you.”

“But if even while looking at you, her eyes are focused on something else, then she’s looking at something different while observing you… and the same gaze she gave Thalor, she sometimes gives me.”

“As if she’s evaluating something, after evaluating for about 5 seconds, she stops and ignores me… that’s enough for me to know, she looks at me the way she looked at Thalor, and she knew of Thalor’s betrayal, so she must obviously know something about me too…”

“Anyway, whether she knows or not doesn’t matter, what matters is that I know I was wrong and I’m trying to redeem myself from this mistake,” Freya says as she observes the soldiers taking a break.

“…So why are you courting me out of the blue?” I question, doubting this, now I know why she keeps trying to teach me strange things that have nothing to do with leadership and armies, but I don’t know why she keeps courting me sometimes.

“…”

“It’s… that I’m really worried about dying… I would accept my death if it came, but that doesn’t mean I want to die… so I’m trying to live life a little.”

“You’re… very beautiful, and you’re always by my side lately, I thought maybe I could try romance or something, at least once before I die, it would be nice to have a relationship with someone,” She says, looking at me with a crooked smile.

’…’

“Freya, then… if you want to have a relationship with me, why don’t you do the same as other demons and try to trap me?” This strange modality of marriages is ridiculously common, so she could repeat it.

“I’m not a man, kidnapping a partner is a male tactic, girls usually don’t do that… I think in my whole life I’ve only seen three women kidnap partners, and one of them was Her Majesty, who briefly kidnapped Queen Zephyra.”

“Women prefer simpler courtships most of the time,” She says, while only feeding another doubt.

“But I’m a girl,” It wouldn’t make sense for her to court a man if she wants a romance.

“…Aokitsu, unlike the wild male beasts who prefer a partner to marry, have children, and build a life in a more animalistic way, demons often choose romance just for pleasure and not for family ties.”

“Many demons don’t want children, just the act of being intimately involved with someone.”

“And when we decide to have a relationship solely for physical and mental pleasure, whether girl or boy doesn’t matter, as long as it generates the little satisfaction a relationship brings.”

“…So… you’re courting me just for my body?” I say with some disgust, I hope that’s not the case.

“No, I’m courting you because you’re beautiful, and you’re close to me for long periods of time, because we’re creating a bond as I teach you things, and because… I don’t want to die without experiencing a relationship.”

“Don’t think of this as a loveless relationship, I believe we already get along well and that love could develop over time, I’ve already opened up to you here and now by telling you about… my sin, I think it’s a good first step for a possible relationship, right?” She asks without much confidence.

“…” I think about it, I’ve never been in a relationship with anyone, nor have I tried, although I’ve thought a lot about it in times when I was in heat.

“I…” I get up to leave, turning my back to her.

“I’ll be in heat in about 1 month… if you treat me well, listen to my pain, and… court me until then… maybe something will happen,” I say, quickly leaving in embarrassment, giving it a chance, I must admit that seeing her sad shook me a little.

She’s usually so cold, serious, and intuitive that I never noticed she was sad all the time, she doesn’t usually make many easy expressions because she’s some kind of ice demon.

’Well… it’s not just Pandora who can have a relationship.’ Several girls in the castle are starting something like that, maybe I should too, right? I’ve even heard that Calypso is starting something.

Although I’m not sure if it’s a romantic relationship, but she’s definitely writing letters to a distant “friend” with a unique devotion that seems beyond friendship.

I decide to go to my resting place to think about this strange conversation and the relationships I’ve never had because I’ve been busy as the leader of my race.

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