Chapter 553: A Unique Vision of Motherhood

“…Hmm, big sister has something good to teach me?” I ask, holding a transparent sphere. It’s an “extension” of my universe. I’ve already started expanding my universe to pull our mother out of the Abyss.

Once I sever her connection to it, she’ll be able to return to the Abyss without being trapped there, free at last.

“Pandora, stop talking to me. I’m not planning to help you,” she says, pouting. She must have used some magic in the room to block the sound and keep our mother from coming to complain again.

“…If you help me, I’ll wear clothes most of the time,” I counter, resorting to blackmail!

“…”

“Tsk. What do you even expect to gain from my help, Pandora? We’re too different.” She gets up from the bed as I place the transparent core on my own bed.

“A whole lot. I learn fast from watching others, and you’re powerful,” I reply. I genuinely believe I can learn a great deal from her.

“Pandora, our initial adaptations define a lot of our future growth. My power adapted to be explosively massive. I have high regeneration, but my focus is more on defense and destructive power.”

“You seem more focused on speed, high regeneration, and versatility. You have less direct explosive power; your abilities are more about individual, precise damage.”

“Which makes sense. As the embodiment of Wrath, I gain more temporary power the more hits I take. I need more defense than regeneration, and I don’t have the smaller-scale attacks like you do.”

“See my point? Our fighting styles don’t mesh well.” She says all this as if that alone would make me back off.

“What was it like, killing a goddess?” She’s killed several goddesses and has the experience. That’s what’s important. I don’t expect to learn her powers; I want her experience.

“…It’s not that simple. Goddesses can’t be killed by ordinary means. Their bodies are a perfect balance between…”

“I already know that,” I cut her off, rolling my eyes. A goddess’s body is perfect in terms of “Mana,” “Flesh,” and “Soul,” precisely because they need to regulate the universe’s Mana.

“If you already know, then don’t ask how to kill a goddess. The method is obvious.”

“…Not entirely. They all exist outside the universe’s natural vectors, so it’s complicated. Besides, you weren’t a goddess. When you killed a goddess, nothing happened to you. But I am a goddess. When I kill another goddess, her equilibrium function will pass to me.” This is a crucial point.

I would then be responsible for managing the flow of Mana in the universe in place of the goddess I kill. If I’m not careful, it could actually kill me. In short, I’d become the universe’s “filter.” If I overdo it, it’d be like trying to stop a river with a paper filter; the filter just wouldn’t hold.

“That’s your problem, Pandora. Besides, our mother handles it easily. Shouldn’t you, the favorite daughter, be able to do the same?”

’What a smartass.’ For someone who’s accomplished so many incredible things, she’s more stubborn than I expected.

“Fine. I’ll figure it out on my own. It’s always been that way anyway.” I won’t deny I’ve had help from many throughout my life, but everything truly important, I’ve always done alone, with my own power.

“Fine by me. But I can help you train, since raising your level will be difficult.”

“What’s your current level?” I ask, curious.

“Fifty billion. And in a little while, I’ll recover my power back to one hundred billion.” When she says that, I’m surprised. She doesn’t seem that strong for someone at level fifty billion.

“I hate the look in your eyes. You haven’t even seen my true form, and you’re already judging me with that look.”

’She’s right…’ I’ve never seen her transformed.

“Sis, have you ever stopped to think about the good things you might get in the future?”

“…What are you talking about?” she asks as I take her hand and start leading her to the training area. Thanks to my environmental perception, I have the entire layout of this immense castle mapped out in my head.

“I’m talking about having children. You seem deeply troubled by your new role, but have you ever considered the good side? Having a child is wonderful. You feel the pleasant sensation of motherhood and a warm, sentimental feeling in your heart.”

“…”

“Children are mirrors of their parents. No matter how many deny it, a child is literally something that can be summed up that way. It’s like having a mini-version of yourself, who may or may not do things that make you proud.”

“Sister, wouldn’t you like to have that love for yourself? Someone who loves and adores you deeply? You’d be surprised at how sweet a child’s love can be to receive.”

“Don’t think of having a child as just your mission to make our mother proud. Think of having a child for yourself. So, I ask you: do you want your child to be a pathetic mirror of you?”

“Or will you make your child a better version of you? I can tell you that my children aren’t like me in many ways, but they’re all brilliant, with their own lives and choices, and I’m incredibly proud of every single one of them.”

“Azazel is lively, spirited, and audacious, with immense curiosity. As a monster, she’s a malicious, manipulative predator who uses her cuteness to hunt.”

“Eclipsya is a genius, a little monster who knows when to strike. She restrains herself, waiting for opportunities, always seeking to learn new things, and full of conviction and determination to get what she wants.”

“Lycoris is wild, clever in a primal way, and very clingy, with immense love for those she cares about. She’s an affectionate, adorable little girl, but if it’s to protect what she wants, she wouldn’t hesitate to destroy everything around her, like a cute little time bomb.”

“And finally, my sweet Aqua. My most arrogant daughter, with immense territorial instincts. She’s a brilliant little sweetheart, just as smart as Eclipsya, but with a very simple worldview.”

“To her, everything always comes down to basic choices. That makes her competitive, but still, she’s loving, a little shy about certain things, and very curious about whatever catches her attention.”

“Do you see, Azraelith? They’re all reflections of something I once was, am, or will be one day. They all have traces of me, and they all act differently. But if there’s one thing they all have in common, it’s that I love every single one of them.”

“I may not be taking care of them right now, but I love them so much that I paved a stable future for them. I solved most of the world’s problems. I had an academy built to mold their minds and stimulate their abilities.”

“I gave them everything they need. And what they need most is creative stimulation to grow as living beings. My entire kingdom is a coldly calculated home designed to give them everything they need to become like me.”

“Not become me. I don’t want four daughters competing to be like me. I want them to be like me: active and in pursuit of their own dreams and desires. They’re my reflection in that sense—they all actively seek what they want and fight for it however they can.”

“So tell me, big sister, wouldn’t you like to have a child who is like you, but who could be better than you in the ways you dislike about yourself?”

“We are flawed beings. Perfection isn’t real for living creatures like us. So all we can do is give the best of ourselves to our children.” I arrive with her at the training ground.

She seems thoughtful about what I said—genuinely thoughtful, not prickly or rejecting the idea. But it only lasts a few seconds before she closes herself off defensively.

“You say all this, but you’re not there taking care of those children. You had kids and left them to fend for themselves. I don’t believe a mere child could ever be more than me.” Her words are cold and stupid.

“You’re wrong, Azraelith. I am taking care of them, just from a distance. I paved a path for them that I never had. I gave them the safety and stability to grow up however they want. I never had that.”

“Just because I’m not there doesn’t mean I’m not doing anything for them. Micromanaging every aspect of a child’s life is simply control. Some birds push their chicks out of the nest to make them fly. If they don’t fly, they fall and die.”

“I’m a monster, and so are you. It’s not our duty to oversee every detail of a child’s life. Our duty as maternal figures is to give our children the future they can reach. Whether they reach it or die trying is up to them.”

“You see children as a direct extension of us. But children aren’t that. They’re extensions that came from us, but they are not us. That’s why, Azraelith, you’re a failure in our mother’s eyes.”

“You act as if you’re a piece of her. And you’re not. You are Azraelith, her daughter. Not Azraelith, a piece of the Abyss Goddess.”

“Acting like a physical extension of something isn’t truly living. That’s why our mother prefers me. Not just because I’m better than you, but because I have the mindset that allowed me to always climb higher.”

“You’re trapped in the stupid mentality of a daughter who’s too servile. And that’s why you manage to seem so weak and vulnerable, even though you’re so powerful.”

“If we ever have a child like our mother wants, I would never let it be as pathetic as you.” I take a few steps away from her. She growls at me.

“…” She knocks me to the ground and climbs on top of me. I look at her coldly as she pins me down.

“It’s actions like this, Azraelith, that make our mother not care about you. You don’t mature through suffering. It just makes you… fragile.” I matured through my suffering. It might have taken me a while, but I used the hate, the pain, and the desire for revenge to grow as a living being.

“Don’t say things like you know me!”

“…Ah, but I do know you well, big sister. You’re easy to read, like an open book. And that’s why I won’t agree to have a child with you right now. Because you would turn that child into someone just as pathetic as you.”

“And when you realized your child was a failure, just like you, you’d act just like our mother. You’d make our child behave like a desperate kid craving crumbs of affection from someone who only sees them as a disappointment.” When I say this, her eyes go wide.

“I-I’m not… like that.” She hesitates and releases me. I take the opportunity to get up and steal a kiss from her. Her eyes close as if she’s melting into our kiss.

“This is what love feels like, Azraelith.” I break our tender kiss. I truly adore this big sister of mine. I spent years thinking about how to free her. Focusing on her so much, and the fact that we’re family, made me love her even before I met her.

My affection is genuine, and she can easily feel it coming from me, even if she refuses to give any in return.

“…” I slip out from under her and stretch.

“Now, let’s train. And think about what I said. I’m much smarter than you might think. I’ll only agree to have a child with you when you stop being so desperate for affection from someone who will never give it to you. Our mother hates you precisely because of your desperate attempts to be better for her, instead of being better for yourself.”

I made myself strong for myself. Not to make the Abyss Goddess proud, but so that I could be proud of the being I am. And that difference matters.

“…” She stands up in silence. I don’t know if she’ll take my words seriously, but I hope she does. After all, as the Goddess of the Apocalypse, I understand cycles well, and how to break them.

’What a pathetic big sister. But it’s okay. I’ll teach her how to truly live.’ I lick my lips in anticipation, eager to show this foolish big sister that the world is far more colorful than the monochrome world she lives in.

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