If Ren thought that Ino was bad, then he was certainly not prepared for how fussy Hinata got when she saw his injured state. He got scolded like a misbehaving child.

But it only managed to draw out a small amused smile out of him.

Hinata was a sweetheart. He appreciated how caring she was. She flat-out refused to go home, intending to stay with him for the night to monitor his injuries. It took Ren an entire hour to finally make the stubborn girl crack and accept that going home was necessary.

The Hyugas would have a hissy fit if Hinata didn’t come home for the night. They would start asking where she was… and neither Hinata nor Ren would be able to answer, making the situation that much worse.

So, Hinata reluctantly left but she was back by 6 am the next day, and even Ino showed up by 8 am. Fortunately, both girls listened to Ren’s request to keep his presence in the village secret.

They did not like it. Due to many reasons. But they obeyed.

Of course, Ren had to promise Ino that he would explain why he didn’t seem to have unshakable trust in Konoha after he reported to the Hokage. He was not looking forward to that discussion.

A part of him was unhappy that he would have to introduce Ino to the ugly part of the ninja world she was so far sheltered from. Another part was anxious about how the girl would take the fact that Konoha was not the paragon of virtue, considering all the Will of Fire propaganda classes that were taught at the academy.

But he mostly just found it bothersome that he had to figure out a proper speech to explain the situation in a coherent way that made sense.

It was such a bother.

To him, it felt as if he was going to try unfuck his coworkers’ fuck-up. Excuse him for not being exactly motivated to do it.

At least, Hinata didn’t seem to care. The whole ‘everybody in Konoha is our family’ kinda fell flat for her when her own family treated her like shit.

No. The problem with her was that she didn’t like Ren intending to go out, still injured, and walk back to Konoha all the way from the Land of Waves.

The girl could be very stubborn when she wanted and at the end of the day, Ren ended up promising her to take her out for Ichiraku ramen before she relented and ‘let him go and injure himself more, see if she cared!’ were her words. With a cute huff on top.

Ren appreciated her care. But he was also a bit relieved when he finally teleported back to the Land of Waves. Between Ino’s annoying badgering to tell her more about his ‘Hiraishin’ and Hinata’s unhappy and disapproving looks, he had just about enough teenage girls for the next few days.

Now, he was already back in Konoha after walking injured through half of the Land of Fire, and he instantly ended up in hospital after the medic ninjas fixed him up.

The downside?´The monkey-reject currently filling his freaking hospital room with smoke from his pipe.

“I see. That is quite disconcerting but it would explain why Yagura did not return to the Kiri camp.” The Third Hokage gravely said after getting the verbal report from Ren who lay on the bed, “To think people like Itachi and Kisame are hunting the jinchuuriki…” He frowned, eyes looking out of the window as his mind was clearly lost in troubled thoughts of the uncertain future.

Ren stayed silent, not volunteering any reply to the old man’s musings. He had an entire day to think about how to modify his report for his own greater good. It was quite bothersome because he had to take into account the possibility of Itachi reporting the incident back to the village at some point.

Because of that, Ren’s report had to loosely match the real happenings.

“You were lucky to flee while Yagura engaged Itachi and Kisame.” Sarutobi looked back at Ren and shook his head, “It’s at least one small mercy during this tragedy.” His shoulders sagged and his age showed on his face.

Unfortunately, Ren was informed that Yagura ran through the main Konoha camp in the Land of Waves like a knife through butter before he encountered Ren’s team.

Nobody from the hundred ninjas in there survived.

But hey! The war was over!

As for Sarutobi believing that Yagura engaged Itachi and Kisame? It was an innocent misdirection. Ren only reported he used the Substitution technique with weakened Yagura to evade a blow from Kisame before running away. He never mentioned in what state Yagura was at the time or that the blow was fatal.

It was all just Hiruzen’s assumptions that Ren did not correct. Yagura was a Kage-level ninja and a jinchuuriki on top of that. It was easy to assume that he would survive the substitution trick with ease. And frankly? If he had been conscious, he probably would have. But it didn’t matter. Ren was painting an image he wanted, founded mostly on truths and half-truths.

Even if Itachi reported the true happenings, it could be chalked up to battlefield confusion on Ren’s side. He actually did put a lot of effort into making his story as smooth as possible. Lying to a Kage was anything but easy. They were extremely perceptive people. They lived as liars their entire lives and honed the craft to perfection. They were the pinnacle of it.

Even his Yin Containment Seals’ prowess was highly downplayed by Ren. He didn’t report that they stopped a bijuudama. And he made sure to complain about Yagura always ripping the seal tags off. Or how they seemed to barely work at restraining his chakra. Ren made sure to sound that the seals working were more due to luck than his skill at fuinjutsu.

And since there was no witness, there was nobody to disprove how ineffective the seals truly were.

Nor did Ren report that the seal stopped Itachi’s Tsukuyomi. He simply did not even mention Itachi and his actions in his report other than the fact he was present. After all, he couldn’t exactly pay attention to the rogue Uchiha when he was facing somebody like Kisame, right?

He was just a poor, poor chunin who served due to a massive bout of luck.

Naturally, many people will call bullshit. Ren counted on that. But that was fine. As long as the report didn’t give them political ammunition to cry for punishment or demand his seal work, Ren didn’t care.

There wasn’t really a clean way out of this mess. He went on a mission and the result was a dead Kage while he was the only survivor from his team. The situation was fishy by default.

Misleading the Hokage into thinking that Itachi and Kisame were there for Yagura, which was a complete truth, they just never outright stated it as Ren reported, would hopefully make Konoha do some actual preparations since they now knew a very strong people were hunting jinchuuriki.

Yeah, Ren bled due to his recent misfortune and he would be damned to not milk it for all it was worth.

“Yes. Honestly? The most baffling thing about the whole encounter was Itachi’s greeting. I have no idea what he meant by ‘Nice to meet you again.’ I have never met him in my life.” Ren said, looking quite troubled.

And he didn’t even need to act. He was truly bothered by it. As far as he knew, he hadn’t met Itachi even once before this unfortunate encounter. But clearly, that wasn’t the truth.

Alas, since it was a good mystery to make Hokage focus on, Ren was using it.

The Hokage, however, just chuckled, much to Ren’s surprise. “Ah, yes. I think I can explain that one.” His eyes gained a bit of warm mirth and if he wasn’t completely flabbergasted, Ren would have to admit the old coot was a great actor himself.

“I remember young Itachi reporting to me that he met an interesting kid one day during his undercover patrol.” Sarutobi said in a nostalgic tone before looking at Ren with a small indulgent smile, “Do you remember having a discussion with an old man about why kids shouldn’t go to the battlefield? About why Hashirama made this village?”

The more the Hokage talked, the flatter Ren’s expression became, until he stared at the old man with a completely emotionless deadpan. He did have a very vague recollection of popping off on some dude and ranting about what absolute and ineffective bullshit using child soldiers was due to stress.

It wasn’t his proudest moment.

Inwardly, Ren’s mind was reeling, ‘No. Not like this,’ He pleaded for this to not go in the direction his gut was telling him. He thought his abysmal luck combo was over!

“Itachi was always great at genjutsu.” Sarutobi chuckled, “And fooling a kid was no great feat for him. Even when he was one himself.” He sadly sighed, his eyes reflecting his sorrow for a moment before they regained their spark.

“The conversation you had with him… it hit him hard.” The old man continued with renewed vigor, “And I have to admit, it moved me too. It’s what fanned the will of fire within me and gave me the motivation to make the academy reforms despite my initial misgivings. To make the academy great again. For that, I am grateful to you.”

His tone was serene, happy, and satisfied. And why wouldn’t he? These reforms changed the world of ninjas and Hiruzen Sarutobi was forevermore going to be remembered as their initiatior. Nobody could take that from him. Even if he was discovered to be a complete scum later on, this single great achievement would always be a massive badge of honor for his personage.

‘Fuck me with a cactus.’ But Ren didn’t share Hiruzen’s satisfaction. He still just blankly stared at the man, fully in disbelief at the monumentally groundbreaking bullshit he had just heard.

‘No…’ Ren thought with mounting horror, ‘This dipshit is telling me that it was actually my fault for the canon plot to be utterly fucked up before I even graduated from the academy!?’

All because of one insignificant conversation he did not even remember?

… What the hell?

He expected butterflies due to his actions. But this? Wasn’t this a bit too much!?

Source: Webnovel.com, updated by NovelKeep