Chapter 34: Chapter 34

Ye-jun

I woke up with this pounding headache that felt like a truck had parked on my skull overnight, my eyes all crusty and my body sore in places that made my stomach twist the second I tried to sit up. Everything was fuzzy at first, the room spinning a little when I cracked my eyes open, and I realized I was in my own bed, sheets kicked everywhere, no idea how I even got there from wherever the hell last night ended. I rubbed my face hard, groaning loud enough that if the walls weren’t thick someone downstairs would’ve heard, and tried to piece it together but the memories were hiding, just flashes of heat and voices and my own stupid begging that I couldn’t quite grab yet. “What the fuck happened,” I muttered to myself, swinging my legs over the side, feet hitting the floor cold and making me shiver. I needed to get to my room proper….no, wait, this was my room, but I had this feeling I’d been in Si-woo’s last night, the smell of him still on my skin making me want to scream.

I dragged myself up, grabbed some shorts from the floor, pulled them on quick because no way was I walking around naked with mom downstairs, and cracked my door just enough to yell without showing my face. “Mom! I’m not coming down for breakfast, got a killer hangover, staying in bed!” My voice came out rough, like I’d been yelling all night, which… shit, maybe I had.

Mom’s voice floated up the stairs, all worried like she always gets. “Hangover? Ye-jun, you barely touch alcohol, what on earth? Come down and eat something, it’ll help!”

Before I could answer, Si-woo’s voice cut in from the table, that stupid smirk dripping through every word. “Yeah, probably out drinking with his loser friends again, the lightweight. Told you he looked off yesterday, sneaking around all shady.”

I gripped the doorframe so hard my knuckles went white, snapped back loud, “Shut the hell up, Si-woo, I wasn’t drinking, go choke on your eggs or whatever!” He just laughed, that rude bark of his that always got under my skin, and mom started scolding him but I didn’t stick around to hear it. I slammed the door, locked it, flopped face-first onto my bed for a second, heart already racing because pieces were starting to click and I didn’t want them to. Not yet. Not while I could still pretend it was just a bad dream.

But the shower was calling, I stank like sweat and him and whatever that sticky mess was, so I stripped again, stepped in, turned the water scorching hot, and let it beat on my back. That’s when it all slammed back, no warning, clear as if it was happening right then. Si-woo handing kissing me and forcing me to swallow some liquid “just sip it, relax,” the fire spreading through my veins, me on my knees in front of him like a damn dog, sucking his cock while he held my hair, making me swallow the milk or cum or whatever leaked out, him laughing “good boy, look at you, so eager,” then flipping me, fucking me hard while I cried and begged and hated myself for loving it. The way he mocked me the whole time, “cry for my cock, so funny how you fold,” the way I kept grinding back even when I said I regretted it, the drug keeping me going for hours until I passed out.

I slid down the shower wall, knees hitting the tile with a thud, water pouring over my head, and the tears started before I could stop them. I curled into a ball, arms wrapped tight around my legs, sobbing so hard my whole chest shook, snot mixing with the water, gasping between cries like I couldn’t get air. “Fuck you, Si-woo,” I choked out, voice cracking and raw, punching the wall once, not hard enough to break anything but enough to sting my knuckles. “How could you do that to me? I wanted you to fall for me, I had it all planned, nice dates, confessing without looking desperate, making you see me as more than just the guy in the next room, and instead you drug me and turn me into that, on my knees sucking like a pathetic dog, begging while you laughed and called me weak.

My heart feels like it’s cracking open, it hurts so bad, like you reached in and squeezed until it broke, and I can’t breathe, I can’t stop seeing it, me crying while you fucked me and said ’that’s right, take it’.” The sobs got louder, ugly, the kind where you hiccup and shake and feel like a total idiot but you can’t stop, water going cold but I stayed there kneeling, rocking a little, tears streaming nonstop, “I loved you, or I thought I did, wanted you to want me back for real, not this forced horny mess, and now everything’s ruined, my chest is so heavy I think it might kill me, but I won’t let it go, I won’t forgive you, you asshole, you made me hate myself and I hate you more for it.” I cried until my throat burned and my eyes swelled, laughing once in the middle, bitter and wet, “look at me, naked in the shower crying like a baby because my almost-boyfriend drugged me, hilarious, right? God I’m pathetic,” then the sadness crashed harder and I just let it, forehead on my knees, water running down my back, feeling every bit of the heartbreak until I was empty.

I stayed in there till the water went icy, finally stood up on shaky legs, dried off rough, staring at my reflection with all the marks on my neck and the puffy eyes. “You’re not getting away with this,” I told the mirror, voice still thick. “I’m gonna make you pay, make you fall so hard you beg, then I’ll decide if I crush you or not.”

The rest of the day I was gloomy as hell, stayed locked in my room, ignored the world. Mom knocked around lunch, “I left soup outside, eat something,” I opened the door a crack, grabbed it, mumbled “thanks, still feel like shit,” closed it fast before she could hug me or whatever.

I called work quickly , and dad bought it too so no problem. I spent hours just staring at the ceiling, heart still heavy, replaying the night, getting pissed all over again every time, then forcing myself up because sitting there crying more wasn’t the plan.

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