Chapter 40: Chapter 40

Ye jun

I woke up that Saturday feeling like absolute garbage but I forced myself out the door anyway because after Si-woo grabbed my wrist and growled at me in the kitchen then stormed off I couldn’t just sit around the empty house waiting for him to come back down and ignore me some more. No way. I threw on a hoodie over the tiny shorts and tank like I was just running errands and muttered to myself the whole walk to the market “you’re really doing this Ye-jun you idiot you’re gonna buy male lingerie in broad daylight like some desperate slut what the hell is wrong with you” but I kept walking because the anger from last night and this morning was still burning hot in my chest and I needed something to hit him back with something that would make him lose his mind when he saw it.

The market was crowded like always on weekends people bumping shoulders yelling prices at stalls and I kept my head down, hood up even though it was warm because god if anyone I knew saw me here I’d die on the spot. I wandered past the normal underwear section first pretending I was just looking at socks or whatever then I slipped into the back corner where they had the fancy stuff , the kind with lace and straps and little bows that were definitely not for girls only. My face was already on fire. I picked up one set black and sheer with a tiny pouch in front and these thin straps that would sit low on my hips and I held it up for half a second then shoved it back on the rack like it burned my fingers because what if the old lady at the counter saw me what if she laughed or worse what if she knew me from school or something. “This is so stupid,” I whispered to myself, ramming my hands in my pockets so they wouldn’t shake. “You’re buying this to make him snap not because you actually want to wear it right? Right. Shut up brain.”

I looked around quickly no one watching, then grabbed the black one again and another red one that had even less fabric like basically strings and a matching thong thing and I stuffed them both under my arm hiding them with the hoodie like I was stealing even though I was gonna pay.

My heart was pounding so loud I swear people could hear it. I kept thinking about Si-woo’s face this morning how his eyes went dark when he saw the shorts and how he grabbed me like he owned me but then pushed me away and I wanted him to feel that same twist in his gut but worse. I walked to the counter trying to look normal but my voice came out all high and squeaky when I said “just these” and the guy behind the register raised one eyebrow but didn’t say anything thank god he just scanned them and told me the price and I paid cash fast shoving the little black bag deep into my backpack so no one could see the logo or anything. I zipped it up twice and walked out of there so fast I almost tripped over a crate of vegetables outside. My face was still burning all the way home. I kept muttering “you did it you actually bought male lingerie you absolute loser now you just gotta wear it and watch him break” but inside I felt this mix of shame and excitement that made my stomach flip every time I thought about slipping it on later.

When I got home the house was still quiet Si-woo’s door was closed upstairs and I didn’t even knock I just went straight to my room locked the door and hid the bag at the very back of my closet under some old shoes because no way was I letting him find it early. I flopped on my bed for a second staring at the ceiling heart still racing from the market trip and that’s when I remembered Titi. Kim Tiana. My best friend from forever who went abroad for school and modeling gigs and I hadn’t seen her face to face in months because life got so messy with Mom’s new marriage and Si-woo and everything. I missed her like crazy but I’d been a shitty friend not calling not texting much and I knew she was gonna yell at me but I needed to talk to someone or I was gonna explode. I grabbed my phone dialed her number before I could chicken out and she picked up on the second ring.

“Ye-jun you absolute asshole!” she screamed right away but she was laughing too that loud Titi laugh that always made me smile even when I was mad. “Do you know how many times I texted you? Called you? I thought you died or something! I got back from Paris after years and my best friend can’t even send a stupid emoji?”

I laughed even though my chest felt tight because yeah I deserved that. “Titi hi I’m sorry I’m the worst I know I know shut up for a second okay? I’ve been so busy with all this family crap and school and this guy who’s driving me insane I swear I meant to call but every time I picked up the phone something happened and..”

She cut me off talking over me like she always did. “Busy? Busy? I heard your mom married some rich dude and you’re living in a big house now with a stepbrother who’s like the hottest thing in fashion and you couldn’t even tell me? My parents had to spill the tea at dinner last week! I couldn’t even come to the wedding because I was shooting in Milan but still Ye-jun! You didn’t think to call your Titi and say hey girl I’m rich now come visit?”

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