Miss Grasshopper – Chapter Three
Miss Grasshopper – Chapter Three
Sue held back a scream as the barricade at their door buckled. The desk they’d shoved up against it squealed against the floor as it was pushed back.
Attracting the alien’s attention had been… perhaps not the best idea she’d ever had. At the moment, Melanie was crouching behind another desk, using a metal ruler’s tip to pry a bullet out of the barrel of her rifle. “Can you take care of that one?” she asked nicely.
“Got it,” Sue said. She gingerly crossed the room, her attention split between the doorway and the window overlooking the playground. They hadn’t seen any flying aliens nearby, but she was acutely aware that they existed and that they might come to get them soon enough.
The door buckled again, and a long, toothy maw pried itself in between the crack of the doorway and sniffed audibly.
Sue levelled her handgun at the alien’s face, firmed up her grip, set her feet quickly, then aimed between the two little posts at the side of the gun until the glowing nub on the end of the barrel and the two posts were all even with the alien’s face.
She pulled the trigger, and there was a loud bang, then another, and another.
It took three carefully placed shots for the alien to finally pull back, its face punched through in two spots and a third hole pierced through the door just a few centimetres off.
“It’s not dead,” she said.
“These guns fire point-two-five ACP,” Melanie said. “They have as much kinetic power as a well-thrown bouncy ball.”
Sue nodded, then looked at the little gun in her hand. That had been three rounds, which meant that there were nine left before she had to reload. She resisted the temptation to do that right away, she didn’t have many magazines, and she didn’t want to end up with a pocket-full of half-empty ones.
And this was definitely a situation that called for avoiding half-empty things.
“I think it’s bleeding a little,” Sue said as she leaned to the side and tried to see out of the crack. There was a glimpse of the alien pulling away and shaking its dog-like head, and some splatters of greenish-black blood.
“I don’t know if the aliens can bleed out,” Melanie replied. “I mean… I suppose they ought to, if they need blood and you exsanguinate them.”
“Don’t we have a module on alien biology?” Sue asked. “I think later in the year?”
It was strange just how… normal the discussion was. Death was lingering on the other side of the door, but here they were talking about which classes were coming up on their schedule.
“It’s near the end of the year, for the eight-graders. But I never really spent much time teaching biology,” Melanie said. “I’ve done some substitution work, and I keep up with the material, but… well, maybe I’m a bit of a failure in that respect. It’s hard for me to remember everything if I’m not actively preparing to teach it.”
“No, I think that’s normal,” Sue replied. “It would be hard to remember the entire curriculum. I’m sure we could pull it up.”
“Sure,” Melanie replied.
Sue almost jumped out of her own skin as the alien returned, bashing its head into the crack with more force before pulling back. The strike had shoved the desk back a centimetre or so. She leaned back, then pushed against it with a foot, but it was too heavy to move without putting her back into it, and that would mean being far closer to the door than she wanted.
So, instead, she aimed at the opening and waited.
This time, when the alien shoved its head into the crack, she fired at it twice, and it fell back with an additional pair of holes in its face.
“That’s… seven left,” she said, looking at her gun.
“Might want to be careful with that count,” Melanie said. “I’ve heard stories of those magazines being a round short every so often.”
“Seriously?” Sue asked.
“The way they check to see how many rounds are loaded is by weight, and the tolerance is… loosy-goosy, sometimes. At least, that’s the story I heard,” Melanie replied.
Sue shook her head. There was no way that was true. It sounded more like the kind of excuse a corporation’s PR team would come up with to justify some cost-saving method. If one in every five magazines was one round short, then they’d save… some amount of money.
“Oh, got it,” Melanie said as she stood. Sue glanced over to see Melanie place a bullet, shell and all, onto the desk. The end of it was opened up, and the actual bullet part was long gone. The shell looked like it had deformed in the barrel a little, which was probably what caused the jam. She wasn’t a weapon’s expert or anything–not that she was averse to learning–but something told her that the issue here was a confluence of cheap gun and cheap bullet meeting in the middle to create a small mess.
Melanie closed the little breech on her rifle, then pulled back the tab-thing on the side to get another round in. “Let’s see if this works,” she said.
The older teacher came to stand next to Sue and aimed into the crack by the door. When the dog-alien shoved its head into the entrance again, Melanie fired three times before her gun made a noise.
That was enough, the bigger rounds punched into the alien’s head and it flopped down onto the desk, very dead.
“It’s jammed again,” Melanie said.
“Take the other rifle, I guess,” Sue said.
“Better than nothing,” Melanie replied as she pulled out the magazine and set the gun aside. “I’ll still try to fix it, you never know.”
“Right,” Sue agreed. She paused. Now what? “Should we… move?”
“I think that might be a mistake,” Melanie said. “But then again… they’ll know we’re here, won’t they?”
“There’s something about pheromones secreted by dead antithesis… wow, I really do need to brush up on my xenobiology,” Sue said. She giggled, then stopped as the sound felt utterly wrong in this context.
“There’s an office a few rooms down,” Melanie said. “The vice-principal’s. It shouldn’t be locked, and if it is, I know the code for the door. I think there might be another weapon safe in there.”
“Wouldn’t they have taken it?” Sue asked.
“Off for the week,” Melanie replied.
“Oh… well, yes, that makes sense,” Sue said. “Okay… help me move the desk back?”
It took a bit, but soon enough the two of them were sneaking their way out of the classroom. Sue gingerly stepped over the corpse by the doorway. A model two, if she wasn’t mistaken. She remembered calling them ‘Bad Doggies’ in her notes, which was a fairly common name for this kind. She never expected, or wanted, to be this close to one, living or dead.
The school was strangely quiet. She’d never heard the school without the constant chatter and squeaking of a dozen shoes, a hundred children talking. Even during the weekend, or after the school was closed, it never quite went away.
The hallways had the same sort of silence, an emptiness that felt almost tangible.
Sue almost jumped when Melanie’s hand touched her own. The older woman was holding her rifle in her off-hand so that she could hold onto Sue. Sue was reassured, for a moment, before she realized that Melanie’s hand was trembling. “Are you okay?” she asked, her voice almost a whisper.
“Do you know why I became a teacher?” Melanie asked.
Sue shook her head.
They stopped at a corner. Sue was holding the pistol, and she peeked around.
Nothing.
Sue kept glancing at the other teacher, wondering where this was going.
After a minute, Melanie spoke. “My mother was a teacher. Not at this school. She was a primary school teacher at a state-funded school. One of the bad ones. She was… good. Great, even. There’s a difference, you know, between a teacher that’s good at teaching, and a teacher who is a great teacher.”
“I… don’t understand,” Sue admitted.
“Being good means knowing how to teach. Knowing the material, the best practices, how to reach out to students and help them understand and be prepared,” Melanie said. “Being great means more than that. It means caring for your students. My mother was great.”
“Was,” Sue repeated.
“She was shot by one of her students. He was troubled, had a hard time with a lot of things, but my mom kept trying to reach out to him. I miss her.”
“Oh,” Sue said.
They reached the vice-principal’s office, and Melanie tried the door. It clicked open. “Easy-peasy,” she said with a smile that she shared with Sue.
She was just opening the door with a crackle that sounded a lot like broken glass being shifted when Sue noticed that there was something wrong. Her brain barely registered what it was before Melanie gasped.
Her hand was wrenched away from Sue’s, her rifle went off, tracing bullets along the wall and ceiling and making enough noise that Sue found herself screaming even as she flinched away.
When she opened her eyes, she discovered blood and hungry alien eyes.
***
Source: Webnovel.com, updated by NovelKeep
Chapters
- Chapter Twenty-Eight – Enjoy The Show
- Chapter Twenty-Six – In Time Out
- 2026 SCS Fanfiction Contest!
- Interlude – Homecoming
- Chapter Twenty-Four – Just Deserter
- Chapter Twenty-Three – Shy at Work
- Chapter Twenty-Two – Justice Isn’t Legal
- Chapter Twenty-One – Shorting Your Lifespan
- Chapter Twenty – How to Get to The Top
- Chapter Nineteen – Security Theatre
- Chapter Eighteen – Nothing but the Truth
- Chapter Seventeen – Court Martial Arts
- Chapter Sixteen – Patch Up to Catch Up
- Chapter Fifteen – Spontaneous Lobotomy Syndrome
- Chapter Fourteen – Libre’s Office
- Chapter Thirteen – Interloping is My Passion
- Chapter Twelve – Be Libre, Not Happy
- Interlude – Crisis Mode Two
- Chapter Eleven – Paint It Black
- Chapter Ten – A Lot Going On Up There
- Chapter Nine – Carpooling
- Chapter Eight - Preemptive Bitching
- Chapter Eight – Preemptive Bit*hing
- Chapter Seven – Spring Cleaning
- Interlude – Crisis Mode One
- Chapter Six – Velvet Paws
- Interlude – Easy Holidays
- Chapter Five – As Per My Next Email
- Chapter Four – You Can Lie on a Report, But Reports Don’t Lie
- Chapter Three - Can Juno Come Play?
- Chapter Two – It’s Me Again
- Chapter One – Your Daily Allowance of Unsaid Things
- Stray Cat Strut - A Young Lady's Vacation Next Door - Prologue
- SCS Book Eight Feedback!
- Book Eight Epilogue
- Volume Eight Epilogue
- Chapter Eighty-Four – Mini Machina
- Chapter Eighty-Three - Not a Bad Day
- Interlude - Balls
- Interlude Lucy - School Days Part Four
- Chapter Eighty-Two – Talking Fashion, Obligatorily
- Chapter Eighty-One – Pop Goes the Patella
- Chapter Eighty - Punched in the Dick!
- Chapter Eighty – Punched in the D*ck!
- Chapter Seventy-Nine – Gosh Golly Gracious
- Chapter Seventy-Eight – Bomb Voyage
- Chapter Seventy-Six - Maximum Clonage
- Chapter Seventy-Seven – Drowning in Mediocrity
- Chapter Seventy-Five – Planning Plus Proper Preparation Prevents Potential Problems, Probably
- Interlude K&K – Part Two
- Chapter Seventy-Four – Mom’s Spaghetti
- Chapter Seventy-Three – I Have Been Artificial Before You Were Intelligent!
- Chapter Seventy-Two – Forms, Fans, and Functionaries
- The Stray Cat Strut Roleplaying Game Kickstarter is Liiiive!
- Chapter Seventy-One – This Action Will Have Consequences
- Chapter Seventy – Poked in the Frannie
- Chapter Sixty-Eight – Charred as the Wastes of Ozymandias
- Chapter Sixty-Seven – Not Mushroom for Emotions
- Chapter Sixty-Six – Kilotonnage for Dummies
- Chapter Sixty-Five - Pspspspsps
- SCS Crossover Fanfic Contest! Winners!
- Interlewd Six
- Chapter Sixty-Four – Hot and Bothered
- Chapter Sixty-Three – Gold Star #2
- Chapter Sixty-Two – Did This to Myself
- Chapter Sixty-One – @-Everyone Assemble
- Chapter Sixty – Intimi Dating
- Chapter Fifty-Nine – Puppy Princess
- SCS Crossover Fanfiction Contest!
- Interlewd Six – Shy’s Secret Sauce
- Chapter Fifty-Eight – End Program To You Too
- Chapter Fifty-Seven – Broadcast Necromancy
- Chapter Fifty-Six – Fill The Sky With Fire And Smoke
- Chapter Fifty-Five – A Cut Above Middle Management
- Chapter Fifty-Four – The Flames That Burn With Purpose Light The Way to Heaven
- STRAY CAT STRUT SIX IS OUT!
- Chapter Fifty-Three – War Crime Waifu
- Chapter Fifty-Two – Terms and Conditions
- Chapter Fifty-One – ‘Ol Reliable: Scorched Earth
- Interlude – K & K
- Chapter Fifty - Potluck!
- Stray Cat Strut – Crossover Fanfic Contest!
- Chapter Forty-Nine – For Shying Out Loud
- Chapter Forty-Eight – La Blue Lucy
- Chapter Forty-Seven – Free Real Estate
- Some SCS News!
- Chapter Forty-Six – Casino Ro-nya-l
- Chapter Forty-Five – 57,646,075,230,342,400,000
- Chapter Forty-Four – You Talk Like an Old Lady
- Chapter Forty-Three – Right in Front of my OSHA Handbook?
- Chapter Forty-Two - Loading, Please Wait
- Chapter Forty-One - Hive Five!
- Chapter Forty - Trash Panda Crush
- Chapter Thirty-Nine - Trash Panda Woes
- Chapter Thirty-Eight - Altruism Everywhere
- Chapter Thirty-Seven - The Rolodex Gambit
- Chapter Thirty-Six - Nun Your Business
- Hope//Punk Update!
- Chapter Thirty-Five – Welcome Under God’s Grace
- Chapter Sixty-Four – The Next Bunch
- Chapter Thirty-Four – Welcome to the Broom Closet
- Chapter Thirty-Three – Oh My God, Nya!
- Interlude Lucy – School Days Part Three
- Chapter Thirty-Two – Happily Ever After Tomorrow
- Chapter Thirty-One - Anti-Vampire Measures
- Chapter Thirty - Is It Really Possible for an Emo Girl and a Country Boy to Build a Doomsday Weapon?
- Chapter Twenty-Nine - Hush-Hush
- Chapter Twenty-Eight – Feed Me Kibble
- Chapter Twenty-Seven – Post-Traumatic Samurai Disorder
- Chapter Twenty-Six - So That Is How It Feels
- Chapter Twenty-Five - Kawaii Kitty Kohai Kicking
- Chapter Twenty-Four - In the Name of the Moon!
- Chapter Twenty-Three - Hikikomori with a Shotgun
- Chapter Twenty-Two - Shy-Rise Living
- Chapter ??? - Two Weeks Battle Royale II
- Chapter Twenty-One - Babysitting the Nukes
- Chapter Twenty - Deus Ex Machinations
- Chapter Nineteen - Want To See My Fanart Collection?
- Chapter Eighteen - How Will You Wipe Tomorrow?
- Chapter Seventeen – Grasping at Paper Straws
- Chapter Sixteen – Die Welt ist im Wandel
- Chapter Fifteen – I’m Not Wiser, Just Older
- Chapter Fourteen – Unexpected Fallout
- Chapter Thirteen – Carl Phillip Gottfried von Clauswitz
- Chapter Twelve - Survival 101: Don't Be Weak
- Chapter Eleven - A Duel at Dawn
- Chapter Ten - Fight Like A Cat
- Chapter Nine – Sweet Schemes Are Made of This
- SCS Fan Art Contest – Winners!
- Interlude Lucy - School Days Part Two
- Chapter Eight - Cat Skips the Ethics Module
- Chapter Seven - Where Rules Bend to Power
- Chapter Six - Invisible Cougars in Your Area
- Interlude Lucy - School Days
- Chapter Five - I Really Wanna Visit Your Home
- Chapter Four - Revolutionary Girl Lucy
- Chapter Three - Electives in Future Tribulations
- Chapter Two - It Doesn't Say No Parking
- Chapter One - Armored Elegance Takes the Stage
- Book Eight - Prologue
- Forward by the Author
- SCS Art Contest!
- Chapter Eighty-Five - M.E.O.W, That's Right!
- A Cyber New Year
- SCS Contest Winner: Isabelle's Little Idea - By the WackyWombat!
- Chapter Eighty-Four - Modern Goddesses
- Chapter Eighty-Three - Cat of All Trades
- Chapter Eighty-Two - Till I Can Get Mine
- Chapter Eighty-One - Touch Me...
- Chapter Eighty - No Country For Old Cats
- Chapter Seventy-Nine - More Than the Machine
- Chapter Seventy-Seven - Dead Samurai Tell No Tales
- Chapter Seventy-Eight - You Are Being Hunted
- Chapter Seventy-Six - A Giggle and a Rocket
- WE HAVE MERCH!
- Chapter Seventy-Five - The Worth of a Human
- Chapter Seventy-Four - I Have The Shy Ground
- Chapter Seventy-Three - It's Always The Quiet Ones
- Chapter Seventy-Two - Behold My Catlike Grace
- Chapter Seventy-One - She Without Sin Drops The First Shoe
- Chapter Seventy - I Just Want The Sky On Fire
- Chapter Sixty-Eight - Late, Locked, and Loaded
- Chapter Sixty-Seven - The Quiche of Commitment
- SCS Halloween Special
- Chapter Sixty-Six - Points Are Precious, But Explosions Are Priceless
- Chapter Sixty-Five - Sky's the Limit, But I Can Reach
- Chapter Sixty-Four - Anti-Antithesis-Anti-Air
- Chapter Sixty-Three - Cat Called
- Interlude - Stay At Home PR Manage/GF
- Chapter Sixty-Two - Cat Out of the Bag
- SCS Fanfiction Contest Winner: Cassy the Clowns Big Top Bonanza, by FullAutoAlice
- Chapter Sixty-One - Lights! Camera! Bullshit!
- Chapter Sixty - Religious Exemption
- Chapter Fifty-Nine - The Full Stop Does Not Stop
- Chapter Fifty-Eight - Knight Takes Moon
- Chapter Fifty-Seven - In Space No One Can Hear You Buzz
- Chapter Fifty-Six - Le Bad Suck
- Chapter Fifty-Five - Cutting To The Heart of The Moon
- Chapter Fifty-Four - Burned/Scarred/Butch, Scary, and Notorious
- Chapter Fifty-Three - Egg Shells
- Chapter Fifty-Two - Fingerguns
- Glossary: Model Twelve
- Chapter Fifty-One - Adamantium Toenails
- Chapter Fifty - Trash Panda Pondering
- Chapter Forty-Nine - I'm Cat and You Are Watching Deep Space Ballistics!
- Glossary: Model Eleven
- Interlude - The Samurai's Samurai
- Interlude - The Free Radikal
- Chapter Forty-Eight - Push My Red Button
- Chapter Forty-Seven - Kami-Can't
- Chapter Forty-Six - Eww, What Even Is That?
- Stray Cat Strut Music! - Kill and Buy [Kuro-P]
- Chapter Forty-Five - If You're Unhappy and You Know It, Flap Your Wings!
- Chapter Forty-Four - The Weltraum-Gewittermeister Tesla-Kollisionsgenerator
- Chapter Forty-Three - Buying the Gate to Nowhere
- SCS Fanfiction Contest Winner: A Joytoy's Journey to become a Hive-Queen By PhyonesArc!
- The Ongoing Contest has come to a close!
- Chapter Forty-Two - Cat to the Moon
- Chapter Forty-One - Operation Moon Boom
- Chapter Forty - Race Me to the Moon
- Chapter Thirty-Nine - I Want to Lick Your Eyeball
- Chapter Thirty-Eight - Eggs Burny Side Up
- Chapter Thirty-Seven - Honest Samurai Reviews
- Chapter Thirty-Six - Diggy Diggy Hole
- SCS Fanfiction Contest Winner: Libitania, by NiameScrawls
- SCS Fanfiction Contest Winner: Havoc, by Kenny Celican
- News: The Contest's General Category Winners have been announced!
- Interlude - A Crackshot's Crack Shot
- Chapter Thirty-Five - The Cat, the Raccoon, and the Cowboy
- Chapter Thirty-Four - Can't Glare Away the Truth
- Chapter Thirty-Three - The Art of Being Fashionably Late
- Glossary: Model Ten
- Chapter Thirty-Two - This One Time, In Bible Club
- Chapter Thirty-One - Casanova Howitzer
- Chapter Thirty - Grasshopper's Guide to Discrete Destruction
- Chapter Twenty-Nine - Successfully Participated
- The 2024 Stray Cat Strut Fanfiction Contest - Reading Phase!
- Glossary: Model Nine
- Chapter Twenty-Eight - Escape Velocity
- Chapter Twenty-Seven - Three Star Pull
- Chapter Twenty-Six - Even In Death I Serve My Waifus
- Chapter Twenty-Five - Hundred Burgers With Fries And Drink
- Glossary: Model Eight
- Chapter Twenty-Four - The Second Hand Clinic
- Chapter Twenty-Three - Dr. Mylais, Medicine AI
- Chapter Twenty-Two - Lazy Pillow Talk
- The First - One
- Miss Grasshopper - Four
- Miss Grasshopper - Three
- Miss Grasshopper - Two
- Miss Grasshopper - One
- Somnus Deus Ex - Eight
- Somnus Deus Ex - Seven
- Somnus Deus Ex - Six
- Somnus Deus Ex - Five
- Somnus Deus Ex - Four
- Somnus Deus Ex - Three
- Somnus Deus Ex - Two
- Somnus Deus Ex - One
- Magical Girl Mercenary For Hire - One
- Magical Girl Mercenary for Hire - Six
- Magical Girl Mercenary for Hire - Five
- Magical Girl Mercenary for Hire - Four
- Magical Girl Mercenary for Hire - Three
- Magical Girl Mercenary for Hire - Two
- TTL&ToHCBZR - MGfH - One
- Chapter Twenty-One - Fuzzies, Fries, Flaking
- Glossary: Model Seven
- Chapter Twenty - Feed Me In The Shower
- 2024 Stray Cat Strut Fanfiction Contest!
- Chapter Nineteen - Excuse My French
- Glossary: Model Six
- Chapter Eighteen - Better Than Some, Worse Than Most
- Chapter Seventeen - Local Sorts of Problems
- Chapter Sixteen - Command Critique
- Chapter Fifteen - Mech Makes Might
- Chapter Fourteen - Combustion Beam Flag-tillery OR; Flying Disco Balls of Death
- Chapter Thirteen - Flick My Switches
- Glossary: Model Five
- Chapter Twelve - Salt The Earth
- A Tale of Nice Tails
- Chapter Eleven - A Teachable Moment
- Chapter Ten - Rainbows of Death
- Myalis at Large [Non-Canon Think Piece]
- Chapter Nine - Gotta Kill 'Em All
- Chapter Eight - What's a Metaphor?
- Chapter Seven - Exotic Cuisines
- Chapter Six - Forbidden Bath Salt
- Chapter Five - 105mm Armour-Piercing Fin-Stabilised Discarding Sabots For Fun and Profit
- Chapter Four - Big Cat Attack
- Glossary: Model Four
- Chapter Two - IRC Is Forever
- Chapter One - Fighter, Cat, Ranger
- Glossary: Model Three
- Glossary: Model One
- Chapter Sixty-Eight - Do Not The Princess
- Chapter Sixty-Seven - Tank You (For The Sandwiches)
- The First - Chapter One
- Chapter Sixty-Six - Peanut Butter and Lesbian Time
- Stray Cat Strut - Fanfiction List!
- Side Story Poll Three!
- Chapter Sixty-Five - Your Average Roleplaying Group
- Chapter Sixty-Four - New Hair Day
- Chapter Sixty-Three - Meals Refusing Exit
- Miss Grasshopper - Chapter Four
- Chapter Sixty-Two - Miniature Wargaming
- Chapter Sixty-One - With Great Cats Comes Great Responsibility
- Miss Grasshopper - Chapter Three
- Chapter Sixty - How To Skin A Cat
- Chapter Fifty-Nine - Hot Hives in Your Area!
- 10,000 Followers!
- Miss Grasshopper - Chapter Two
- Chapter Fifty-Eight - Burn Silent Into That Good Night
- Chapter Fifty-Seven - Hit Everything, Everywhere, All At Once
- Miss Grasshopper - Chapter One
- Chapter Fifty-Six - Country Cat, City Cat
- Chapter Fifty-Five - I Meant To Do That
- Side Story Poll Two!
- Somnus Deus Ex - Chapter Eight
- Chapter Fifty-Four - It's fun to play with the P.M.C.
- Somnus Deus Ex - Chapter Seven
- Chapter Fifty-Three - Who Let the Worms Out?
- Somnus Deus Ex - Chapter Six
- Chapter Fifty-Two - Cat Nap Wrap
- Chapter Fifty-One - Live Laugh Lobsters
- Stray Cat Strut - Book Five - A Young Ladies Guide to Interpersonal Ballistic Missiles, is Out!
- Chapter Fifty - A Date Among Ghosts
- Somnus Deus Ex - Chapter Five
- Chapter Forty-Nine - I Spy with my Meaty Eye
- Interlewd Five
- Chapter Forty-Eight - Recreational Respiratory Deterioration
- Somnus Deus Ex - Chapter Four
- Chapter Forty-Seven - Feline Fringe
- Somnus Deus Ex - Chapter Three
- Chapter Forty-Six - Getting Down To Your Business
- Chapter Forty-Five - Corpo Shit Show
- Chapter Forty-Four - Jam and Drains
- Somnus Deus Ex - Chapter Two
- Chapter Forty-Three - Finders, Not Keepers
- Chapter Forty-Two - Trash Panda Feelings
- Somnus Deus Ex - Chapter One
- Chapter Forty-One - Recreational Urban Warfare
- Chapter Forty - Creative Kleptomania
- Side Story Poll!
- Chapter Thirty-Nine - Shots, Spots, Stretchers
- Magical Girl Mercenary For Hire - Chapter One
- Chapter Thirty-Eight - Boo-Boos and Body Bags
- Interlude - A Roaming Raccoon's Reasonable Relationships [Part Five]
- Magical Girl Mercenary for Hire - Chapter Six
- Chapter Thirty-Seven - The Call
- Interlude - A Roaming Raccoon's Reasonable Relationships [Part Four]
- Magical Girl Mercenary for Hire - Chapter Five
- Interlude - A Roaming Raccoon's Reasonable Relationships [Part Three]
- Chapter Thirty-Six - Sleepy
- Magical Girl Mercenary for Hire - Chapter Four
- Chapter Thirty-Five - Outfoxed
- Chapter Thirty-Four - Something's Dirty Down In CleanTown
- Magical Girl Mercenary for Hire - Chapter Three
- Chapter Thirty-Three - Cleaning Up
- Chapter Thirty-Two - Rathunt
- Magical Girl Mercenary for Hire - Chapter Two
- Chapter Thirty-One - The Skinny Lowdown
- Chapter Thirty - Cat Nap Mishap
- TTL&ToHCBZR - MGfH - Chapter One
- Chapter Twenty-Nine - Un-convent-ional Interior Design
- Chapter Twenty-Eight - Master Of Nun
- The Tragic Life and Times of Hyper Cutie Bubblechan Zoom Ranger Sparkle Girl, Magical Girl Mercenary
- Chapter Twenty-Seven - Nun Too Soon
- Chapter Twenty-Six - Stray Cat's Cut
- Chapter Twenty-Five - Cottagecore Samurai Power-Couple
- Chapter Twenty-Four - Rude, Crass, Common
- Chapter Twenty-Three - Free and Compulsory
- Chapter Twenty-Two - Dress for Stress
- Chapter Twenty-One - Eternal Optimism and Petty Spite
- Chapter Twenty - Unsub
- Chapter Nineteen - Hardware
- Chapter Eighteen - Home
- Chapter Seventeen - A Home Visit
- Chapter Sixteen - Board Meeting
- Chapter Fifteen - Empirical
- Chapter Fourteen - Mayoral Image
- Chapter Thirteen - Long Day
- Chapter Twelve - The Taste of Boot
- Chapter Eleven - Smiling Faces
- Chapter Ten - The Stink
- Chapter Nine - Useless Crap
- Chapter Eight - Checking Out the Stink
- Chapter Seven - The Kind of Work That Makes You Happy
- Chapter Six - Fine Little Fighter
- Chapter Five - Funny Business
- Chapter Four - Back to Cat
- Chapter Three - Strange Animals
- Interlude - A Roaming Raccoon's Reasonable Relationships [Part Two]
- Interlude - A Roaming Raccoon's Reasonable Relationships [Part One]
- Chapter Two - Like a Raccoon to a Trashbag
- Chapter One - Staring
- Stray Cat Strut - Book Six - A Young Lady's Guide to Taking Uncivil Liberties
- Chapter Sixty-Eight - Paperworker
- Chapter Sixty-Seven - Late
- Chapter Sixty-Six - Spinning a Yarn
- Chapter Sixty-Five - T-Rex Vs Giant Mecha Cat
- SCS Fanfiction Contest Winner - Above the Clouds - By Luke W. Logan
- Chapter Sixty-Four - Getting Hot
- Chapter Sixty-Three - Mechcatular Nyanzerfaust Activate
- Chapter Sixty-Two - Quick Thinking
- Chapter Sixty-One - KittyKopter
- Chapter Sixty - Callsigns
- Chapter Fifty-Nine - Enjoying the View
- Chapter Fifty-Eight - Final Hours
- Chapter Fifty-Seven - The Okay Before the Oof
- Interlude - Chef Lucy
- Chapter Fifty-Six - A Great Idea
- Chapter Fifty-Five - Hunger of the Masses
- Chapter Fifty-Four - All That Wealth is Good For
- Chapter Fifty-Three - Intimidation
- Chapter Fifty-Two - A Cat's Strut
- Chapter Fifty-One - Wake Up
- Chapter Fifty - Thigh Pillow
- Chapter Forty-Nine - Back Stage Story
- Stray Cat Strut Fanfiction Contest
- Chapter Forty-Eight - A Time for Explanations
- Chapter Forty-Seven - Cover
- Stray Cat Strut - Book Three is Out!
- Chapter Forty-Six - Monster Interrupt
- Chapter Forty-Five - Uncanny
- Chapter Forty-Four - Jennifer
- Chapter Forty-Three - And I Have Killed It
- Chapter Forty-Two - Quiet
- Chapter Forty-One - Extinction of a New Sort
- Chapter Forty - All at Once
- Chapter Thirty-Nine - Getting a Clue
- Chapter Thirty-Eight - Fire and Hammer
- Chapter Thirty-Seven - A Genius Idea
- Chapter Thirty-Six - Catmodore Lucy
- Chapter Thirty-Five - When Business Takes Care of Itself
- Chapter Thirty-Four - Knife Edge
- Interlude SNO
- Chapter Thirty-Three - Minor Improvements
- Chapter Thirty-Two - Horses to Water
- Chapter Thirty-One - Sprout
- Chapter Thirty - Dog Gone
- Chapter Twenty-Nine - Weaponized Cringe
- Chapter Twenty-Eight - Morale
- Chapter Twenty-Seven - Walk the Walk
- Chapter Twenty-Six - Intel-chan
- Chapter Twenty-Five - Trickle Down
- Chapter Twenty-Four - Holding On
- Chapter Twenty-Three - Cat Themed Tower Defence
- Chapter Twenty-Two - Welcoming
- Chapter Twenty-One - Shouldering
- Chapter Twenty - Nanomachines, Son
- Chapter Nineteen - Vital Defensive Preparation
- Chapter Eighteen - Meeting of the Greats
- Chapter Seventeen - Growth
- Chapter Sixteen - Making Lots of Little Problems
- Chapter Fifteen - The Bad Kind of Interesting
- Chapter Three Hundred and Fifty-Two - With Catlike Tread
- Chapter Fourteen - Opposites Distract
- Stray Cat Strut - Myalis Art Contest!
- Chapter Thirteen - Actually Cool
- Chapter Twelve - Almost Cool
- Chapter Eleven - Iron Spines
- Chapter Ten - Hope
- Chapter Nine - Eyy
- Chapter Eight - River Heights
- Chapter Seven - Big Gun Politics
- Chapter Six - Outrank
- Chapter Five - Leadershipping
- Chapter Four - Where the Fuck is Burlington?
- Chapter Three - A Not So Quiet Home Life
- Chapter Two - Finally Getting Good
- Chapter One - Good Investments
- Interlewd Four
- Chapter Sixty-Eight - Getting Home
- Chapter Sixty-Seven - Becoming Strong Enough
- Chapter Sixty-Six - Move Faster
- Chapter Sixty-Five - Raining Fried Chicken
- Chapter Sixty-Four - Climate Change Via Mass Destruction
- Chapter Sixty-Three - Burning
- Chapter Sixty-Two - Getting Out of Hand
- Chapter Sixty-One - Go Kill the Thing
- Chapter Sixty - The Enemy Won't Do As You Wish
- Chapter Fifty-Nine - Nyanpalm
- Chapter Fifty-Eight - Crackshot Cowboy
- Chapter Fifty-Seven - Before the Storm
- Chapter Fifty-Six - Wait for it
- Chapter Fifty-Five - The Calm Before
- Chapter Fifty-Four - Essentially Doomed
- Chapter Fifty-Three - Mop Up
- Chapter Fifty-Two - Contact
- Chapter Fifty-One - Gothic Public Relations
- Ai-pocrypha Two - AI Written Chapter Segments
- Chapter Fifty - Emoscythe
- Chapter Forty-Nine - Those Who Love Cannons
- AI-pocrypha - GPT-3 Written Epigraphs
- Chapter Forty-Eight - It's Never Easy
- Chapter Forty-Seven - Safe, Not Sound
- Chapter Forty-Six - New Plan: Kill Everything
- Chapter Forty-Five - Gear On
- Chapter Forty-Four - Dirty Break
- Chapter Forty-Three - Danger Close
- Chapter Forty-Two - Earning the Tier
- Chapter Forty-One - Rapid Return
- Chapter Forty - Oncoming
- Chapter Thirty-Nine - Interrupt
- Chapter Thirty-Eight - Basement
- Chapter Thirty-Seven - Trigger Happy
- Chapter Thirty-Six - The Survivalists Who Probably Won't
- Chapter Thirty-Five - A Terrible Mistake
- Chapter Thirty-Four - The Next Move
- Chapter Thirty-Three - Long Road Ahead
- Chapter Thirty-Two - Meat Thinking
- Chapter Thirty-One - Gold Star
- Chapter Thirty - When the Trees Start Speaking Plant
- Chapter Twenty-Nine - Trench Run
- Chapter Twenty-Eight - What Newton’s Good For
- Chapter Twenty-Seven - Onwards
- Chapter Twenty-Six - Breach, Load, Charge
- Chapter ??? - The Wish 2
- Chapter Twenty-Five - Dinner is Served, and it’s You
- Chapter Twenty-Four - Setting the Table
- Chapter Twenty-Three - Gonna Be
- Chapter Twenty-Two - Jolly Old Day Job
- Chapter Twenty-One - The Calm
- Chapter Twenty - Pitbulls and Tacos
- Chapter Nineteen - Where the Heart Might Be
- Chapter Eighteen - The Low Down
- Chapter Seventeen - Kaboom
- Chapter Sixteen - It’s Technically Not a Nuke
- Chapter Fifteen - Passionate
- Chapter Fourteen - Resonating
- Chapter Thirteen - On the Up and Up
- Chapter Twelve - Thousand Gardens
- Chapter Eleven - Getting Ready to Get Hot
- Chapter Ten - Marketing Your Way Home
- Chapter Nine - Round Table
- Chapter Eight - The Cats Who Were Herded
- Chapter Seven - Home Sweet Fortress
- Chapter Six - Kitty Cat Palace
- Chapter Five - Logistics
- Chapter Four - How to Stall the End of the World
- Chapter Three - The Little Meet
- Chapter Two - The Scrounger
- Chapter One - Feed the Machine
- Stray Cat Strut — Book Four — A Young Ladies Guide to Aggravated Civil Service
- Chapter Sixty-Eight - Things Get Worse
- Chapter Sixty-Seven - Things get Better
- Chapter Sixty-Six - Return to Form
- Chapter Sixty-Five - Reckless
- Chapter Sixty-Four - Trying out that Stealth Stuff
- Chapter Sixty-Three - A Very Nice and Civil Discussion
- Chapter Sixty-Two - Attempting Common Sense
- Chapter Sixty-One - Introspection
- Chapter Sixty - Emoting
- Chapter Fifty-Nine - Popularity
- Chapter Fifty-Eight - Interrogation
- Chapter Fifty-Seven - Assassination
- Chapter Fifty-Six - Speaking Up
- Chapter Fifty-Five - Dancing to the Music
- Chapter Fifty-Four - Moments
- Chapter Fifty-Three - The Gem
- Chapter Fifty-Two - Collar and Leash
- Chapter Fifty-One - Community Feelings
- Chapter Fifty - Sans But Lucratif
- Chapter Forty-Nine - Peter
- Chapter Forty-Eight - Family Matters
- Chapter Forty-Seven - In Which Lucy Does Politics
- Chapter Forty-Six - A Bit Fancy
- Chapter Forty-Five - Mall Day
- Interlewd Three
- Chapter Forty-Four - Sword Talk
- Chapter Forty-Three - Nothing But Cuddles
- Chapter Forty-Two - R&R
- Chapter Forty-One - Physical Comfort in the Presence of Another
- Chapter Forty - Real Politics
- Chapter Thirty-Nine - Meetingus Interuptus
- Chapter Thirty-Eight - The Rat and the Hungry Tiger
- Chapter Thirty-Seven - Heading For Greener Pastures
- Chapter Thirty-Six - Wrapping Shit Up
- Chapter Thirty-Five - Void Terminus
- Chapter Thirty-Four - The Edge of the Sword
- Chapter Thirty-Three - No Surrender
- Chapter Thirty-Two - The Doctor’s In the House
- Chapter Thirty-One - Saying Hello to the Good Doctor
- Chapter Thirty - Bypass
- Chapter Twenty-Nine - The Popo
- Chapter Twenty-Eight - Stepping Up and Out
- Chapter Twenty-Seven - A Good Job
- Chapter Twenty-Six - Bip Bap Bam
- Chapter Twenty-Five - Sneaky Ghillie Lemon Squeezy
- Chapter Twenty-Four - Ingenious
- Chapter Twenty-Three - Surprise!
- Chapter Twenty-Two - Piracy Across the Shitty Seas
- Chapter Twenty-One - Disposal
- Chapter Twenty - Up Shit’s Creek
- Chapter Nineteen - Humanity Degraded
- Chapter Eighteen - Flush Prime
- Chapter Seventeen - Shit Bureaucracy
- Chapter Sixteen - Fun in the Washroom
- Chapter Fifteen - The Cultures Beneath
- Chapter Fourteen - Mally
- Chapter Thirteen - What Old People Say
- Chapter Twelve - STP-44 The Oasis
- Chapter Eleven - Playing with Gomorrah’s Franny
- Chapter Ten - Tensions
- Chapter Nine - Halfstar
- Chapter Eight - The Bar At The Bottom of The City
- Chapter Seven - Knocking Over the Board
- Chapter Six - Queen Takes Pawn
- Chapter Five - Rac
- Chapter Four - Below the City
- Chapter Three - Taxi
- Chapter Two - Because being a BAMF is Easier in Power Armour
- Chapter One - Bliss
- Prologue
- Stray Cat Strut - Book Three - A Young Lady's Hopepunk Safari
- Epilogue
- Chapter Eighty - Burning Away
- Chapter Seventy-Nine - Boss Fight
- Chapter Seventy-Eight - M21
- Chapter Seventy-Seven - Deeper
- Chapter Seventy-Six - Fight Fire with Fire
- Chapter Seventy-Five - Triggering, But the Fun Sort Where Things Explode
- Chapter Seventy-Four - Sprint
- Chapter Seventy-Three - A Walkabout
- Chapter Seventy-Two - Model Thirteen
- Chapter Seventy-One - Chlorine Trifluoride
- Stray Bun Art Contest!
- Chapter Seventy - A Perfect Time for a Picnic
- Chapter Sixty-Eight - Darkness
- Chapter Sixty-Seven - Exploring New Holes with Your Favorite Nun
- Chapter Sixty-Six - Tanks and Soldiers and Guns, Oh My!
- Chapter Sixty-Five - Politics According to Cat
- Chapter Sixty-Four - Aftermath, but we’re Really Bad at Math
- Chapter Sixty-Three - Rod of God
- Chapter Sixty-Two - Arena
- Chapter Sixty-One - Mimics
- Chapter Sixty - M9
- Chapter Fifty-Nine - Cause Player
- Chapter Fifty-Eight - Gimmick
- Chapter Fifty-Seven - Greedy Bits
- Chapter Fifty-Six - Small and in Charge
- Chapter Fifty-Five - Making an Entrance
- Chapter Fifty-Four - Phoenix
- Chapter Fifty-Three - Palace
- Chapter Fifty-Two - Fab
- Chapter Fifty-One - Fashioning a Home
- Interlewd Two
- Chapter Fifty - Salad
- Chapter Forty-Nine - Being Hella Fancy
- Chapter Forty-Eight - A Date
- Chapter Forty-Seven - Closing a Deal
- Chapter Forty-Six - Impeccable Mathematics
- Chapter Forty-Five - Realtoring
- Chapter Forty-Four - Kinda Cute
- Chapter Forty-Three - Comfy Morning Rituals
- Chapter Forty-Two - Invasive
- Chapter Forty-One - Big ol’ Mecha Cats
- Chapter Forty - Bicker Bicker
- Chapter Thirty-Nine - Where Things Go
- Chapter Thirty-Eight - Kittens!
- Chapter Thirty-Seven - Cash Money
- Chapter Thirty-Six - Catkiller
- Chapter Thirty-Five - Dog Gone Wrong
- Chapter Thirty-Four - Thump
- Chapter Thirty-Three - Stealth, But For Real This Time
- Chapter Thirty-Two - Basse Couture
- Chapter Thirty-One - Obsolete Worries
- Chapter Thirty - Blueprint for Success
- Chapter Twenty-Nine - Spider Cat ~ Spider Cat
- Chapter Twenty-Eight - The Opposite of Reassuring
- Chapter Twenty-Seven - Sometimes a Girl Just Wants to Blow Shit Up
- Chapter Twenty-Six - Red Carpet Treatment
- Chapter Twenty-Five - Ramen Break
- Chapter Twenty-Four - Choosing to Die
- Chapter Twenty-Three - Phones
- Chapter Twenty-Two - Reaction Time
- Chapter Twenty-One - God’s Righteous Fury
- Chapter Twenty - Warpath
- Chapter Nineteen - Log Off
- Chapter Eighteen - Gotcha
- Chapter Seventeen - Dial-Up and Lag
- Chapter Sixteen - It
- Chapter Fifteen - Surfing
- Chapter Fourteen - Mesh
- Stray Cat Sidestory: Canta Clause
- Chapter Thirteen - I Have Paws
- Chapter Twelve - Doorframe
- Chapter Eleven - Nobodies
- Chapter Ten - More Questions than Answers
- Chapter Nine - Twitchy
- Chapter Eight - Hover
- Chapter Seven - Lending an Ear
- Chapter Six - Armour Up
- Chapter Five - Professionalism
- Chapter Four - Mean Minion Mode
- Chapter Three - Post Coital Interruptions
- Interlewd One
- Chapter Two - A Slice of Happiness
- Chapter One - Heart-Warming
- Stray Cat Strut - Book Two - A Young Lady's Guide to Exploding the Corporate Ladder
- Chapter Seventy-Seven - Anticlimax
- Chapter Seventy-Six - The Big Players
- Chapter Seventy-Five - A Flock of Trouble
- Chapter Seventy-Four - Thoughts and Prayers
- Chapter Seventy-Three - Forms
- Chapter Seventy-Two - In Service to the Prevention of Stupidity
- Chapter Seventy-One - Tail
- Chapter Seventy - A Respite
- Chapter Sixty-Nine - Nice
- Chapter Sixty-Eight - Hitting the Fan
- Chapter Sixty-Seven - Life Story
- Chapter Sixty-Six - Impaled... Again
- Chapter Sixty-Five - A Change in Tactics
- Chapter Sixty-Four - Tougher Means More Boom
- Chapter Sixty-Three - People are Stupid
- Chapter Sixty-Two - Honour and Flames
- Chapter Sixty-One - Trapsetter
- Chapter Sixty - A Unique Combat Doctrine
- Chapter Fifty-Nine - Looking Like a Big Damn Hero
- Chapter Fifty-Eight - Hot Stuff
- Chapter Fifty-Seven - Collateral Damage
- Chapter Fifty-Six - Leaving a Gift Behind
- Chapter Fifty-Five - Low Expectations
- Chapter Fifty-Four - Setting to Boil
- Chapter Fifty-Three - Z-Word
- Chapter Fifty-Two - Down Down Down
- Chapter Fifty-One - Along for the Fun
- Chapter Fifty - Milk Run
- Chapter Forty-Nine - Hunters
- Chapter Forty-Eight - Rail Shooter
- Chapter Forty-Seven - Shopping Spree
- Chapter Forty-Six - A Call
- Chapter Forty-Five - Air Superiority
- Chapter Forty-Four - Machina
- Chapter Forty-Three - Armed
- Chapter Forty-Two - Back Against the Wall
- Chapter Forty-One - Anti-Air
- Chapter Forty - Rooftop
- Chapter Thirty-Nine - Long Odds
- Chapter Thirty-Eight - Flesh Melter
- Chapter Thirty-Seven - Armed and ready
- Chapter Thirty-Six - A Matter of Trust
- Chapter Thirty-Five - Death Flags
- Chapter Thirty-Four - Rule
- Chapter Thirty-Three - The Perfect Fit
- Chapter Thirty-Two - Fried
- Chapter Thirty-One - The Bigger They Are
- Chapter Thirty - Model Six
- Chapter Twenty-Nine - A Crying Shame
- Chapter Twenty-Eight - Speared
- Chapter Twenty-Seven - Stairs
- Chapter Twenty-Six - Masks On
- Chapter Twenty-Five - A Pad on the Wound
- Chapter Twenty-Four - Dumb and Dumber
- Chapter Twenty-Three - Sludge
- Chapter Twenty-Two - Cheesing it
- Chapter Twenty-One - Descent
- Chapter Twenty - Rescue Quest
- Chapter Nineteen - Future
- Chapter Eighteen - Going Back Up
- Chapter Seventeen - Mall Cops
- Chapter Sixteen - Life Finds a Way
- Chapter Fifteen - Worm
- Chapter Fourteen - Curiosity
- Chapter Thirteen - Talking To Yourself
- Chapter Twelve - Vending Machines
- Chapter Eleven - Like Santa, but With Guns
- Chapter Ten - Done Dirt Cheap
- Chapter Nine - Saint
- Chapter Eight - Piss Poor Disguise
- Chapter Seven - Hummingbird
- Chapter Six - Pill Pusher
- Chapter Five - Dying is For Other People
- Chapter Four - Pole Dancing
- Chapter Three - Incursion Detected
- Chapter Two - Walkabout Punks
- Chapter One - Pop-Up
- Official Art and Fanart!