Chapter 101: Chapter 101

~ ROWAN

It took all of my self control to walk away from Nyssa when every fiber of my being was yelling at me to grab her.

I could feel her pulling away from me, could almost taste the ire and disgust in the air as she stared at me with a gaze so sharp it could cut glass.

She’d never looked at me like that before, not even when I was being an absolute dick to her.

I suppose I deserved it after everything. It was my karma.

“Where is he?” I ground out as Aria approached me. “Where the fuck is that bastard?”

I tried to side step her, aiming for the throne room and the bastard that just fucked up my entire life.

“Rowan, stop!” she exclaimed, stepping into my path. “He left. In the midst of the chaos he must have ran. He left your journal though.”

The stupid black book was untouched in the whole scuffle. The leather had dust on it and a few pages stuck out from it being tossed on the ground but it was fine.

I hadn’t even noticed it was missing in the past two years. It was not a book that I touched regularly. I only picked it up whenever I had something to add to it, otherwise it remained locked in my study.

“I don’t need it.”

I pushed the book away from me.

It had done more harm than good anyway.

I should have fucking burned it.

Hell, I wanted to burn it. It would make good fuel for the fireplace in my—

“Where is she?” Aria asked. She looked over my shoulder as if expecting Nyssa to materialize out of thin air. “Did she get away? Should I call the guards to look for her?”

“She’s with Eric,”

Aria’s brows furrowed in confusion. “What the hell is she doing with Eric? Go after her! Try to explain—”

“And say what?” I asked, exhaustion leaking from my tone. “She does not want to speak to me.”

“Of course she doesn’t. She doesn’t know the truth. If you just try—”

“Do you think I don’t want to?” I hissed out. “Do you think I enjoy watching her stare at me like I am the bane of her existence? Do you think I do not already feel like shit? Because I do, Aria, and I do not need you to remind me.”

I exhaled deeply, running my hands through my hair.

The exhaustion hit me like a freight train, weighing down my bones.

“How the fuck did he even get the book?” I hissed at her.

She shrugged. “I don’t know. Perhaps he took it the last time he was here.”

“That’s impossible. I had guards keep a close eye on him. He did not leave his room unless absolutely necessary. Besides, how the fuck would he know where to find it? Did you tell him about it?”

She opened her mouth but closed it sharply, a dark look taking over her face.

There was no denying the guilt evident in her eyes as she glanced up at me and I let out a frustrated groan.

“Are you fucking with me?” I snarled, barely keeping my cool. “Why the fuck would you tell him?”

“I don’t know!” she mumbled. “It must have come up in a conversation. This was before I knew about Nyssa. I thought… I was going to be mated to him. I didn’t think much of it.”

“Well you fucking should have!” I snapped. “Your stupid mistake has cost me everything!”

She fell silent, gnawing on the inside of her cheek as she stared at the wall next to my head in an attempt to not meet my eyes.

“I didn’t mean for this to happen,” she murmured, her voice cracking on the end. “I would never do anything that I thought would betray you. You know that. This isn’t my fault.”

“You’re right, it was mine. I should have known what kind of a bastard Henry was and I should have fucking killed him in the beginning.”

My chest burned with a foreign feeling. It tasted like guilt, but it burned like loss. The last time I felt anything similar was right after my mother had died.

I turned away from Aria and forced my legs to start moving.

“Where are you going?” she asked suddenly. “Do you need—”

“What I need is a fucking second while I think about how to fix this. Do not follow me.”

“I want to help!” she rushed over to me, quickly falling in step with me. “If you tell me what to do then I can—”

“You have done enough,” I cut her off sharply.

My voice came out harsher than I intended but it got the desired effects. She stopped in her tracks, eyes immediately locking on the floor in front of her.

Her jaw clenched tightly and she pursed her lips but she didn’t fight. She merely nodded and turned away, disappearing down another hall.

I didn’t know where I was going. I just allowed my legs lead ,e, trying to ignore the gnawing feeling inside of my chest that screamed at me to go after Nyssa.

We weren’t mated officially so I couldn’t feel her through the bond and that worried me more than anything.

I took out my phone and dialed her number but it went straight to voicemail.

The second time I tried, her phone was off.

With a curse, I dialed Eric. He picked up on the second ring.

“Is she there?” I asked as soon as he picked up.

He hesitated for a moment before speaking. “Yes, Your Majesty. She is.”

“Is she fine?”

“I don’t know how to answer that.”

“If anything happens, I want you to call me.”

“I don’t know that—”

“I was not fucking asking,” I snapped. “I let you get away with the earlier disrespect but do not think for a moment that I will hesitate to get rid of you if I must. Do you understand me?”

More silence followed by a softer voice. “Yes, sir.”

“Good. Make sure she fucking eats something. She can forget to do that sometimes and I want her back here early. She is not used to nights out here. If any harm comes to her—”

“She will be safe, Your Majesty. I swear it to you.”

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