Chapter 492: A Daughter’s Endless Regret

Primrose woke up with sweat soaking her forehead and probably her whole body. Her chest rose and fell quickly as she gasped for air, as if she had just run around the manor again and again.

Her head throbbed, and everything felt dizzy and heavy. Maybe it was because she had stayed inside her memories for too long. But actually, she didn’t even know whether the time inside her memories was the same as in the real world.

“Your Majesty! Your Majesty!”

She heard Solene’s and Marielle’s worried voices calling her name. They sounded close to tears, as if they had been afraid she would never wake up again.

Breathing heavily, she slowly turned her head and looked around the room. She saw many people gathered around her; her doctors, her maids, her knights, and also… Leofric?

So he had really come to Illvaris. Before this, she thought he only appeared in her mind while she was unconscious.

But where were Edmund and Lazarus?

She searched the room with her eyes, but she couldn’t find them anywhere. If they weren’t back at the manor yet, then it meant she hadn’t been unconscious for very long.

When she thought about her father, her heart immediately ached. It felt as if thousands of tiny needles were stabbing her chest all at once. The painful memories from the past rushed back into her mind, and before she knew it, tears slipped down her cheeks.

“Your Majesty, what’s wrong?!” Solene asked in panic. “Doctors! Please, check on Her Majesty!”

Before any of the doctors could move closer, Leofric spoke up. “She just needs more rest,” he said calmly. Then he added, “Could you all please step outside for a moment? I need to speak with Her Majesty alone.”

“Sir Leofric, with all due respect, Her Majesty needs to be thoroughly checked by the doctors first!” Solene argued. “This is a serious matter.”

Leofric turned to look at her. He clearly didn’t like her tone, but he forced himself to stay calm.

“I understand your worry, Lady Solene,” he said. “But Her Majesty fainted because of magic. And I believe I am more capable than the doctors when it comes to this. That’s why… Please, can you let me do my job in peace by leaving the room for a while?”

Solene bit her lip. She looked at Primrose, who was still pale and weak on the bed, then at the doctors standing nearby. Her hands slowly clenched at her sides.

“I…” she hesitated.

She didn’t want to leave Her Majesty, but she also knew that Leofric was not an ordinary man. He was someone who truly understood magic. In situations like this, his help might be more useful than anyone else’s.

After a few seconds of silence, Solene finally nodded. “Alright,” she said. “But we will be right outside. If anything happens, call us immediately.”

“Of course,” Leofric said with a smile.

As the others slowly left the queen’s chamber, Primrose curled up on the bed. She pulled her knees close to her chest, making herself as small as possible, like a cocoon trying to hide from the world.

Tears were still streaming down her cheeks, and she wasn’t really paying attention to the people around her or to what Leofric had said earlier.

The sadness in her heart felt unbearably heavy, so heavy that it hurt to breathe. Every time she closed her eyes, she imagined her father’s head separated from his neck.

She could still remember the moment when her fingers touched his severed head, which had slowly begun to grow cold.

She remembered how Lazarus kept telling her that she was a good child and that she had done nothing wrong. He told her that she didn’t need to beg the Cardinal, and he had still apologized to her over and over. For not being able to keep his promise and for not being able to protect her.

“Your Majesty…” Leofric spoke again after he closed the door behind him.

He stood there for a moment, looking at her in silence, then he slowly walked toward the bed. When he saw that she didn’t react at all, he let out a tired sigh.

Without touching her, he said gently, “What you saw was just a piece of your past. Those things are already over, and… the good news is, in this life, you are Zarius’s daughter.”

“A good thing?” Primrose finally lifted her face and looked at Leofric with eyes filled with anger and frustration.

“What good thing?!” she shouted. “I saw my father’s head cut off! How is that good?! He died! He died right in front of me! And I couldn’t do anything! I couldn’t save him!”

Her voice broke at the end, and tears poured out again.

She suddenly pushed herself up and climbed down from the bed. Her legs were shaking, and her whole body felt weak, but she still forced herself to stand straight.

Even though she looked like she might fall at any moment, she walked quickly toward Leofric. He stepped back at once, startled by her sudden move, but he didn’t go very far.

Primrose raised her hand and pointed her finger right at his face. “Don’t you ever dare tell me that it’s a good thing again!” she shouted.

“You even just stood there and did nothing!” she went on. “You didn’t help at all! You were useless!”

Her voice was sharp and full of pain.

Leofric lowered his head slightly so he could look at her clearly. “Like I said… that was only part of your memory,” he said. “So I couldn’t—”

“You said you stayed with me because you didn’t want me to lose my mind!” Primrose suddenly cried out. “But look at me now! I’m still losing it! I’m losing my damn mind!”

Primrose suddenly screamed at him in frustration, making Leofric close his eyes for a moment.

He knew that she was being irrational right now and was even saying things that didn’t make sense. Even so, he didn’t try to argue back. He didn’t respond to her harsh words and instead let her pour out her anger and frustration on him.

After all, no one could stay sane after seeing their own father being killed right in front of them.

More than that, until now, Primrose had never known that she had lived another life before, one that was even worse than the life in which she had been poisoned by her own doctor.

When Primrose finally stopped screaming at him, Leofric spoke again. “My reason for being there,” he said, “was only to make sure you remembered that everything you saw belonged to the past. It wasn’t your real life anymore.”

He paused, then went on more softly, “If I hadn’t been there, you might have truly lost yourself. You might not even remember who you are right now.”

Primrose opened her mouth because she wanted to scream again, she wanted to cry, she wanted to argue, but no sound came out.

Suddenly, she felt empty, completely empty.

No, it wasn’t her body that was tired, but it was her heart, her mind, and her soul.

She felt so drained that she didn’t even have the strength to hold on to her anger anymore.

All the pain, rage, and sadness that were struggling inside her heart felt heavier and heavier, until the only thing she could do was stand there in silence.

She actually wanted to see Edmund and Lazarus through her wedding ring, but for some reason, she felt too tired to even use her magic.

“So…” she whispered. Her voice sounded hollow. “My father died in the past because of me. And now… in this life, he became my real father again?”

She let out a soft laugh, but there was no joy in it. There was only emptiness. “I even took his wife’s life,” she went on softly. “Why did we have to meet again in this life? Wouldn’t it be better if he had another daughter?”

Maybe someone better, and someone who never brought him any pain.

“Maybe someone who never caused his death,” she finished in a low voice.

Leofric frowned deeply. “What are you talking about?” he said at once. “Caused his death? That wasn’t you.” He stepped closer. He said firmly, “It was the Cardinal. You know that, and I know you remember that.”

“Still…” Primrose lowered her head. “If he had never met me, his life might not have ended as badly as it did.”

Leofric took a deep breath, then said, “Your Majesty, have you ever heard the legends that say that before our souls are born into this world, we usually meet the people we love in heaven? Whether they are family, friends, or lovers.”

Primrose snorted because she wasn’t in the mood to listen to any legends. “It’s just a legend, so—”

“It’s not just a legend,” Leofric cut her off quickly. “That kind of thing really happened, but it doesn’t happen in heaven. It happens in the realm between life and death. Sometimes, I go there when I’m bored, and before you and your father were born into this world, I saw both of your souls there.”

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