Chapter 160: Chapter 159: Repentance

Carl took what Klaire and Kyubi said as a way of saying they wanted to bring the meeting to an end where their family was concerned and asked Bahamut to handle the rest while they got to work on it.

“…I’m still far from confident with that particular ability, honestly it’s an ability I’m not fond of and the last time I used it, I didn’t even realise what I was doing until it was over. I need to be careful with this and need to move cautiously.”

“Understandable, we wish you all well and hope for a favourable outcome. We will continue to consider your offer in the meantime and let you know when we’re ready to move forward one way or another.”

Those were the last words spoke, before the guests filtered out in turn.

When they were alone, they went and got Omedra up so she could watch the kids for a while, then retired to their own room.

“Okay Carl, what do we do?”

“Damned if I know, can we just lay down together while I get my bearings?”

“Of course.”

As they laid down, Carl thought about everything he had experienced with Klaire.

The awkward moment when Klaire pounced on him and got a little too close for comfort.

The times they fell asleep on the couch with Squidge.

The times they played and fought.

The time when the photo got spread around SATS.

How it led to their first kiss.

The years of single-minded focus on his academic and system development and how it left him blind to his emotional immaturity.

The arguments that caused, building to a weakness that the committee exploited to break them up.

Dying together and instantly being resurrected in a way that left the very idea of death warped in his mind, which he now felt as an obstacle to learning the Law of Death

The rushed marriage that came as the result of his reckless immaturity, that robbed them of the chance to truly experience getting married.

Carl felt it in every memory, the one-sided devotion she gave him. “Klaire, I’m sorry our relationship was so one-sided growing up. I was self-absorbed and working for the future at the cost of the present.”

“Thank you, I should apologise too. I really did love you, but I was also a little obsessive and controlling. If we’re doing this, we should be honest, our relationship was pretty toxic and abusive.” Klaire grew teary as she spoke and kissed him.

Kyubi didn’t interfere, she had seen how they were together when she first arrived and heard the stories. Despite her own feelings, she had managed to hope that their relationship would mature which it had, but she knew they would still need to face that past and apologise to one another for it.

“You’re right it was and getting married when we did, regardless of how it ended up was stupid and demeaned the very idea. I’m glad we were separated for that time afterwards, I don’t think we’d be in a good place without that.”

They held each other for a while and apologised for various wrongs that had plagued them with guilt, some of which were unknown to the one apologising until they had apologised. It was a moment of absolution and moral cleansing.

The sincerity was pure, unfettered by the ego or prideful reservation of the ones speaking.

Only when they were done and broke away from each other of their own accord did Kyubi ask them if they were okay, and after a while longer did they return to how they had been before.

Once again laying in contemplative silence, Carl began to think back on every moment he shared with Kyubi.

Meeting her in the cave and making what was potentially an empty promise.

Nearly sacrificing himself out of self-righteous ignorance.

Allowing Kitsunoko to call him “Dad” and making her share the title of “Mother”.

The moments they spent together in Klaire’s absence as Mother, Father and child.

The countless signs of deeper feelings that he turned a blind eye to.

The moments of intimacy he shared with Klaire in front of her.

His reluctance to face what was clear to see, simply because it was awkward.

The regression and how he ran away when he was forced to face it.

The way he controlled the change by dictating how it would play out.

The appalling way he disguised that control as setting “boundaries”.

“Kyubi, I’m sorry. I willingly turned a blind eye to your feelings just because I didn’t want to face it. I was a coward, making promises that I fulfilled through sheer luck and manipulated you using your desperation. To make it worse, if I’m being honest with myself, I let myself fall for you as I watched you endure it all and continue to raise Ki-ko alongside us.”

“I’m sorry too, I recognised it and acknowledged it. My nature as a fox twisted the situation and I wanted to turn that manipulation on you to earn your favour.

My agreement with Lillim forbade me from speaking about my feelings or open displays, but that didn’t stop me from making sure I was always there when you needed me, or even using Ki-ko as an excuse to be near you.

I loved you, wanted you, the fact you had Klaire just meant I had to take you. You were always so desperate to pretend you didn’t notice, even lying to yourself, it made it easy for me to show-off and insert myself.”

Klaire laid to the side, just as Kyubi had done for them, thinking to herself and realising she had done the same thing the entire time.

When Carl and Kyubi finally broke away from each other, Klaire did as Kyubi had done and checked on them both.

“Do you mind swapping with me Carl? It’s our turn.” Klaire’s voice had a raspy crack to it and the atmosphere was charged with emotional tension, but as Klaire tried to crawl in between the other two and Carl rolled to make room and accidentally made klaire face plant into Kyubi’s stomach, they couldn’t help but share a small laugh amidst the weight of the drama.

It passed quickly and they soon found themselves in contemplative silence once more, Kyubi and Klaire both acknowledging that there were unspoken slights between them. They weren’t as unprepared as Carl, they had come close to a moment like this once before.

They both turned to face each other at the same time, tripped over each other to speak first, then went back and forth trying to let the other.

“Kyubi, please… I’m sorry, I knew how you felt about him and treated you like the girls back on SATS drooling over him. I was blind to the depth of your feelings, acted childishly and to make it worse flaunted our relationship with Carl in front of you at every opportunity.

To make it worse, I was using it as a reason to keep my eye on you. The first time I laid my eyes on you I was pent up and confused, I wanted you and couldn’t reconcile that in light of the fact I was married to Carl and only had one love as a Banshee.

I felt like I was being unfaithful, but then I noticed him gradually becoming more receptive and got scared, then I went into complete denial.”

“I’m sorry too Klaire, I knew the whole time and was happy to let you share a bed with me, even if it was only because Ki-ko wanted you there. I didn’t love you at first but I wanted you to give in and do something, anything, so that you might be my advocate.”

They kissed and held each other, just as they had done with Carl before and as they had done before, Carl waited for them to break away from each other before asking if they were okay.

“Yeah great…” Klaire said, teary-eyed, voice still raspy and cracking. “…Sorry, but we have all been awful to each other.”

“Yeah, we really have…” Kyubi followed.

“Yeah, but I still want to be with you both, I know what needs to change now, in each of us. I want to get there and I’m happy to do it the hard way, day-by-day. You two have parts of your nature that are simply impossible to overcome with time though and you helped me figure out how to use the law of Change properly.”

“What was it?” Klaire asked as she wiped her eyes.

“It’s so stupid, but a clear picture and motivation, I suffered consequences last time because I didn’t want to put the effort in to achieve the change I wanted.”

“So the law of Change forces it, but if you are already willing to do what that change requires it won’t cause other issues as long as you know exactly what change you want?” Kyubi asked with the usual interest she showed in the new laws.

“Exactly, change is inevitable and fighting it always makes things harder. If the change is forced, then only someone already working towards it will be ready for it.

“Jumping into the ocean in your clothes is uncomfortable, jumping in a swimsuit is fun.” Klaire said, earning a chuckle from the other two as Carl couldn’t argue that it was possibly the best analogy for how it worked.

They looked at each other’s faces, twisted by guilt and the pain they had caused each other. It was a short-cut, they knew that, but one that punished those that weren’t really motivated or willing.

“Carl, I’m ready, change me…” Klaire croaked as she closed her eyes, visualising the her she wanted to be and describing the her she wanted to be.

The whole time she watched it, Kyubi used the sight of Klaire’s determination to fuel her own motivation and continued to refine the image in her head.

It was only a short matter, which explained how he had managed to change himself without realising it.

“Kyubi, I can honestly say I love you…” Klaire said as she opened her eyes. “…It’s similar to how succubi detect lust, but more personal, so we know when we’re in love but other people’s feelings can be misunderstood.”

“I love you too Klaire. Carl, I’m ready.”

Carl turned and channeled the law of Change once more.

“Oh wow, I really feel it, I no longer feel the need to push either of you.”

“To push us?”

Kyubi explained that just as young kitsune like to test the limits of the bond to their parents, that follows them as a desire to push the extent of their every relationship, whether friendly, romantic, familial or anything.

“…It starts as pranks when we’re young, but whether we like it or not, we start to manipulate, control and intrude. I’ll tell you more when we leave on our trip if you don’t mind.”

“Of course not, it’s not who you are now anyway.”

“Kyubi, Klaire, I just want to say that I look forward to seeing who you’ve become and who you will be in the future as you naturally change over the years.

I think I had this power wrong, it is a shortcut, but it punishes those who want to abuse it and even when it is used, if you don’t put the effort into making it permanent you will fall into your old ways.”

“I agree, it’s more like acknowledging the target’s wish to change. Since change happens naturally, it’s not actually a shortcut for personality changes, but can be used as a catalyst for it. Which means Mister, you really did already love me, you only needed to let yourself face it to accept it.”

“Klaire, Kyubi…”

“Yes?” They both replied.

“Just so you know, I’m still not ready to join you two…” They both slapped one of his arms playfully.

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