Chapter 111: Not Listening, Not Listening, Turtle Chanting Scriptures

“It’s really good,” Vigne murmured after taking a delicate sip of her coffee. The rich aroma lingered in her breath as she set the cup down gently, steam curling upward like a wisp of thought.

She straightened her posture and opened her workbook with purpose. “Satania, start by doing these practice questions I marked for you. They’re important for the upcoming exam.”

“Why are there so many?!” Satania howled dramatically, her voice echoing through the quiet café as she clutched her head like a tragic heroine.

‘Not many at all,’ Vigne thought helplessly. ‘Those are the basics! I didn’t even include the complex ones!’ She gave Satania a deadpan look that could pierce through steel.

Satania puffed her cheeks, grumbling. “Why do I have to do all this? Gabriel skips class half the time!”

Vigne’s patience snapped. “You have time to gossip, but not to study? If you keep this up, your math grade will be dead last again!”

“No, it won’t!” Satania mumbled, eyes gleaming with pride. “Rikka’s math is worse than mine!”

‘Oh for heaven’s sake,’ Vigne groaned inwardly. ‘Just because you’re two points higher than Rikka doesn’t mean you’ve ascended to genius level! Have some shame!’

She turned sharply. “And you, Rikka! Stop spacing out!”

Rikka’s ahoge wobbled like an antenna. “I’m not spacing out! I’m drawing a summoning circle on the coffee’s surface. I’m preparing to call forth…”

Vigne raised a brow. “…The God of Coffee?”

Rikka nodded seriously. “Exactly.”

Vigne sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “There’s no such thing!”

“Aiya!” Rikka suddenly gasped, her spoon clattering against the saucer.

“What is it? Did you burn yourself?” Vigne asked, alarmed.

“No.” Rikka shook her head gravely. “The coffee bit me.”

Vigne froze. ‘The coffee… bit you?’ Her mind struggled to process that. Hot coffee was understandable. Sentient, biting coffee? Not so much. Did the manager’s beans awaken into some caffeinated monster overnight?

Rikka blinked innocently. “Spider-Man was bitten by a spider, right? If I got bitten by coffee, maybe I’ll become the God of Coffee.”

Kouya, sitting nearby, nearly sprayed his drink across the table.

Don’t even start! Spider-Man, sure—but Doctor Strange wasn’t bitten by a kiwi, Batman wasn’t bitten by a bat, Hulk didn’t turn green from too many ‘green hats,’ and The Flash didn’t need to get struck by lightning for fun! The logic hurt his brain.

Vigne exhaled sharply and turned her gaze toward the laziest one of them all. “And you, Gabi. Stop playing your handheld console.”

Gabriel, unbothered, covered her ears. “Not listening, not listening, turtle chanting scriptures!”

“…”

The room fell silent except for Vigne’s twitching eyebrow. The temperature seemed to drop several degrees. Gabriel peeked up from behind her console just in time to meet Vigne’s icy glare. With a reluctant sigh, she turned off the game and shoved it into her bag.

“Hey, Vigne…” she began innocently.

“What now?”

Gabriel yawned. “Did you know that women who get angry easily age faster?”

Vigne’s expression darkened instantly. In a flash, she was holding a spoon to Gabriel’s neck, her tone dangerously sweet. “Say that again, and you’ll never age another day.”

“Oh my~” Raphiel cooed, smiling like a cat who’d found fresh prey. “Don’t get upset, Vigne. We’re all having such a lovely coffee break together, aren’t we?”

Vigne groaned and pressed a hand to her forehead. “Fine. Whatever makes you all happy.”

…

Time slipped by quietly. The steady hum of bagpipe music filled the air, mingling with the aroma of roasted beans. Gabriel and Satania, shockingly, managed to focus for once. Rikka, however, had flipped her workbook upside down and appeared to be reading from another dimension.

“Excuse me, could I get a refill?” Vigne asked softly.

The manager smiled warmly and nodded. His patience seemed endless, though Vigne still felt guilty. She wasn’t one to linger idly in a café after finishing a drink. Even at the market, she’d buy extra fruit out of pure politeness if a seller so much as looked at her expectantly.

As she thought about it, Raphiel leaned forward, her smile playful. “We’ve been studying for quite a while. How about we take a short break with a game?”

Satania’s eyes lit up instantly. “A game?! I’m in! What are we playing?”

Vigne hesitated. “A break could help… alright, one round won’t hurt.”

Raphiel raised a finger dramatically. “How about Gwent?”

‘Gwent?’ Vigne blinked.

Behind the counter, the manager straightened his bow tie proudly. ‘Aside from coffee, I’m quite confident in Gwent,’ he thought. ‘A true art form of strategy and soul.’

Vigne arched a brow. “You mean that game people still play even when their kingdom is burning down?”

The manager froze mid-smile, wounded deeply. ‘Is that… how youth view it now?’

“Besides, we don’t even have Gwent cards here,” Vigne pointed out.

“Then how about Dou Dizhu?” Raphiel offered, eyes gleaming.

She leaned in conspiratorially. “That game isn’t simple at all, you know. It’s full of secret codes. For example, when someone says, ‘Sorry, I’ll be away for a bit,’ it means they’re about to play a single card! And when they say, ‘I’ve been waiting so long the flowers have wilted,’ it means it’s your turn and you’d better skip!”

“Wait, what?!” Vigne gasped.

The manager’s jaw dropped. ‘All this time… have I been playing fake Dou Dizhu?!’

Vigne frowned. “But we don’t have a deck of cards…”

“I do!” Rikka declared proudly, pulling a deck from her mysterious bag.

Vigne blinked. “Why do you even carry that around?”

Rikka drew two glowing circles in the air with her fingers. “Because when the Dark Eye of the Tyrant is sealed, I must rely on cards to divine fate’s threads.”

‘That’s tarot, not poker!’ Vigne thought, biting back a groan. She inhaled deeply to keep calm. “Alright, fine. One game, then back to studying.”

“Vigne, Vigne!” Satania raised her hand eagerly. “If we win, can we make the losers do something?”

“That’s not—hey!” Vigne yelped as Raphiel suddenly hugged her from behind, pressing her tight.

“Of course we can,” Raphiel purred, executing a perfect combo of cheek rub and chest squeeze. Vigne turned bright red.

Satania slapped the table dramatically. “Heh! Gabriel, I challenge you!”

Gabriel didn’t even look up. “I’m not wasting energy on an idiot. But fine. If you insist, I’ll crush you quickly.”

Vigne pried Raphiel off, still blushing. “Wait, we have six people. Dou Dizhu is for three, isn’t it?”

Raphiel giggled. “I’ll just watch and cheer for Lady Satania.”

“Same here,” Kouya said casually. “I’ll sit this one out.”

Rikka pointed at Kouya dramatically. “The hero’s will is my law.”

Vigne sighed. “Alright, fine. One round. Then study.”

A few minutes later—

“Ahahahahaha!” Satania’s victorious laugh rang through the café like a thunderclap.

Gabriel threw her cards down in disbelief. “No way! You cheated! How can your luck be that good?! This defies physics!”

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