After Shino ran off to share the “forest fairy” joke with the other girls, Alex remained seated atop the stone gates with Zhang Ya. As always, she preferred to stay by his side, avoiding chatter and noise. All this time, Alex kept watching the surviving residents of Lake-town slowly making their way through the rocky valley toward the ruined Dale.

What he waited for most was the arrival of the elves from the Woodland Realm. Despite everything he knew, Alex wasn’t certain Thranduil and his army would show up at all—after all, Lake-town hadn’t fallen to Smaug’s fire like in the original timeline, but under the assault of orcs. That changed things, and the elves’ appearance would be crucial. He was already planning for the coming war in his mind.

From behind, the infectious laughter of girls and dwarves echoed through the mountain air—apparently, the “forest fairy” joke had been a hit. Alex just shook his head, barely holding back a smile.

A few minutes later, Nyaruko, Jinx, and Anya came running up. The three little princesses climbed up, and Alex reached out to help them, but Zhang Ya beat him to it: her long black hair came alive, gently wrapping around the girls and setting them down beside her and Alex.

Nyaruko and Jinx noticed that Dad was using magic and immediately focused, trying to see what he saw. Anya was confused at first, but with help from her sisters, she managed to “connect” and saw the slow-moving column of people heading down the valley.

“Daddy, why are you watching them?” Jinx asked, tugging on Alex’s sleeve.

“Hm… Depending on what happens next, I’ll be making plans for the upcoming war,” Alex said, gently stroking her hair.

“Why make plans?” Nyaruko asked with a thoughtful expression. “You could just destroy everyone—no more problems.”

“Just like your mother,” Alex chuckled, flicking her nose. “But there is a reason, little one.”

“What reason?” Anya asked, settling on Zhang Ya’s lap.

“Sometimes war is the only thing that can unite people,” Alex said quietly, staring out toward the horizon. “If elves and dwarves can let go of their grudges, they might just have a chance to survive what’s coming. Because in sixty years, fire will sweep across Middle-earth again—and a far more terrible war will begin. It’ll start in Mordor… and spread everywhere.”

The girls exchanged glances, but truthfully, all they’d really heard was “war,” “orcs,” and “burn everything.” The rest went over their heads. What they wanted was a bit of fun—a bit of chaos. After all, they were mischievous little gremlins in the finest tradition of their father.

A silent look passed between them—a plan was born. Before Alex could react, the three little beasts kissed him and Zhang Ya on the cheeks, then darted off before Daddy could figure out what they were up to. Not that it mattered—they always forgot he already knew everything and saw everything.

Alex just sighed and shook his head, watching them go.

“They’re up to something…” he muttered. “And I’d rather not know what.”

Meanwhile, the gremlin trio—Jinx, Anya, and Nyaruko—were already racing through the corridors of Erebor in search of allies. They needed G.I.R., Mimi, and Stitch—the three main agents of chaos, who had already taken over the dwarves’ workshop. There, they had set up “production,” using local tools and explosive formulas.

Once the gremlins found them, the plan was explained immediately—mad, dangerous, and therefore perfect. The troublemakers didn’t even think about objecting.

Azog’s horde had no idea they’d soon face not just the army under Erebor, but also a group of six creatures whose names even demons feared.

Terror and destruction were coming… but not from the direction anyone expected.

While the girls explored the endless halls of Erebor, marveling at the scale of the mountain kingdom, Alex remained seated on the wall, eyes fixed on the approaching survivors. Zhang Ya had slipped back into his shadow, vanishing like the night wind.

In her place came Syr. Claiming she was tired, she had slipped away from the group with the innocent excuse: “I’ll rest and catch up later.” The other girls only rolled their eyes, fully aware of her tricks. But Syr didn’t care in the slightest. She sat down beside Alex, wrapped her arms around his, and began nuzzling her cheek against his shoulder like a cat begging for attention.

Alex glanced at her. She was clearly having a moment of affection, and her behavior didn’t even attempt to hide its motives.

Syr stopped nuzzling and looked up, giving him a wide, mischievous smile.

And then, as if on cue, a sarcastic voice rang out behind them:

“She told us she was tired and would catch up later. And now she’s rubbing up against my husband like a cat in heat.”

Alex didn’t even turn. He already knew who it was.

He and Syr turned their heads at the same time to see Ryuu and Riveria climbing the stone steps to the wall. For a brief moment, embarrassment flashed across Syr’s face, but it quickly shifted to frustration—she hadn’t gotten nearly enough time alone with Alex. Lately, someone was always by his side, and this rare moment of privacy had slipped away too quickly. Her annoyance was obvious, and Ryuu just smirked, well aware of why Syr had really gotten “tired” and “lost” in Erebor.

“I wanted to catch up with you, but you walked so fast,” Syr sighed dramatically, wiping away a nonexistent tear. “I’m so fragile… I got scared… Erebor is so huge. I thought I’d get lost!”

“I might’ve believed that if you hadn’t vanished the second we turned our backs,” Ryuu replied dryly, sitting down on Alex’s other side and squinting at Syr. “And your ‘fragile girl’ line is cute, but not with me. Should I remind you what you did to that adventurer who grabbed your skirt?” Please read this chapter on its original platform—*.

Riveria, settling next to Ryuu, looked at Syr with interest. Her curiosity was genuine—she now wanted to know what incident Ryuu was referring to. Alex raised an eyebrow and looked at Syr. She immediately put on an innocent smile, though her eyes shot a silent threat toward Ryuu, clearly saying, “don’t you dare.”

Syr kept playing the role of the sweet, delicate girl in front of Alex, but Ryuu remained unimpressed by the act. After all, she hadn’t been the only one to witness that incident—other waitresses and a few customers had seen it too. Since then, most preferred to keep their distance from Syr.

“And what exactly did you do to the poor guy who grabbed your skirt?” Alex asked with interest, watching Syr’s face remain calm while her eyes continued silently threatening Ryuu.

“Nothing much,” Syr said sweetly. “I just talked to him politely and explained that he shouldn’t behave that way.”

“Oh yes…” Ryuu nodded, feigning thoughtfulness. “If by ‘politely’ you mean crushing his self-esteem by comparing him to a spineless worm better off dying in a ditch… And if by ‘explained with words’ you mean smashing a stool over his head, then yes, it was very polite.”

Syr’s face briefly twisted in anger, but she quickly slipped back into her usual friendly mask. Alex stared at her, jaw slightly open in mild shock. He had suspected Syr had yandere tendencies, but this? Beating a poor adventurer and destroying his will to live? That definitely broke the sweet image she had so carefully built.

Even Riveria, who often visited the Hostess of Fertility, was surprised. Syr had always seemed like the embodiment of kindness, courtesy, and softness. But now, it was clear—things weren’t nearly that simple.

Syr didn’t even try to deny Ryuu’s words, but she couldn’t help feeling annoyed. Her carefully crafted image in Alex’s eyes had just shifted—from that of a sweet girl to something far closer to an aggressive sadist.

Alex had to admit to himself that he had always thought of Syr as the weakest and most delicate among the women in his family. Clearly, he’d been wrong. And honestly, if he thought about it, any of the other girls would’ve reacted just as Syr had—only with far worse consequences. Some would’ve left the poor guy crippled; others might’ve launched him into orbit. So really, Syr had gone easy on him. And that wasn’t even counting the other waitresses at the Hostess of Fertility—most of whom were more than capable of defending themselves.

“Well, at least now I know you can take care of yourself,” Alex said with a shrug. “That’s actually kind of… reassuring.”

“Hmph! Of course I can! I grew up in an orphanage until Lady Freya took me in,” Syr declared proudly, puffing out her chest with dignity.

Alex chuckled and shook his head. It wasn’t long before every girl in his family learned that the sweet and gentle Syr was, in fact, quite dangerous. Although some—particularly Saya, Rei, Saeko, and the other Japanese girls—had suspected it for a while. Syr had always given off the same aura as Freya herself. They had even unofficially dubbed her “The Hidden Yandere” —she’d just been pretending to be defenseless and cute for far too long in front of Alex.

Freya, for her part, simply nodded in approval. That was exactly how she’d raised her: only one man is allowed to touch—Alex. Everyone else can… well, quietly die in a ditch somewhere.

Alex, Ryuu, Syr, and Riveria remained seated on the stone parapet of Erebor’s wall, enjoying the cool breeze. Though he chatted with the girls, one of Alex’s eyes stayed half-closed—still watching the group of survivors led by Bard. The refugees from Lake-town had finally reached the partially ruined Dale, and Alex frowned when he saw it. He felt they had come in vain—because by tomorrow, the lands of the dwarves would be crawling with an orc army.

“Riveria, call Rekka, Red, and White. I’ll need their help,” Alex said, glancing toward the elf.

“What do you need them for?” she asked, eyeing him with mild suspicion, though she jumped down from the wall nonetheless.

“You’ll find out soon enough. Let’s just say they’re going to help solve one of tomorrow’s problems,” he replied with a small smile.

Riveria gave him a doubtful look but nodded and left. Ryuu and Syr instantly wanted to know what he was planning, but Alex wasn’t going to reveal anything yet. He didn’t say it out loud, but he was planning a genocide of the orcs occupying Lake-town. Azog wasn’t there—just a standard orc army waiting for orders.

Ten minutes later, Riveria returned with Rekka, Red, and White. Alex led them aside and laid out the plan: he wanted them to engineer a virus—something lethal to orcs—similar to the one previously used against demons.

“I can try,” Rekka said thoughtfully, arms crossed. “But I’ll need a live orc specimen. Without it, adapting the virus to their physiology is impossible—and the results could be unpredictable.”

“Confirmed,” Red nodded. “Without precise data, the virus structure will be unstable.”

“I recommend bringing several samples at once. No point in going back and forth,” White added, glancing at Alex.

“No problem. I know someone who can help with that. GIIIIIIIIIR!!!” Alex suddenly shouted at the top of his lungs.

Rekka, Riveria, Syr, and Ryuu immediately clamped their hands over their ears. Only Red and White didn’t even flinch—they were used to it. Alex’s yell echoed throughout Erebor, bouncing off the walls and vaulted ceilings.

At that very moment, GIR, MIMI, and Stitch were busy assembling the first bomb in Middle-earth, joined by Anya, Nayruko, and Jinx. As soon as their ears caught Alex’s yell, their tools were instantly tossed aside, and the trio took off like a rocket toward the source of the voice. Anya, Nayruko, and Jinx exchanged a glance and shrugged — and then a mischievous gleam lit up in their eyes.

Jinx, daughter of Becky and the true heir to the gremlin spirit, whispered a few words to her sisters. Upon hearing her “enhanced” bomb upgrade plan, Anya and Nayruko lit up with glee. Their “most awesome papa” would definitely appreciate their contribution to the fine art of explosions.

Meanwhile, the girls exploring Erebor’s halls also heard Alex’s voice and instantly understood: if he was calling GIR, that meant he was planning something crazy again. Their suspicions were confirmed a moment later, as GIR, MIMI, and Stitch stormed past them like a hurricane.

Even Thorin, Bilbo, and the rest of the dwarves heard the unmistakable call. By now, the dwarves knew that these three weren’t just strange creatures — they were Alex’s helpers, more like magical familiars than anything else.

Reaching Alex, GIR, MIMI, and Stitch snapped to attention.

“Alright, my little helpers, I’ve got a mission for you,” Alex said with a sly grin.

“Do we blow something up? Burn it? Shoot it?” Stitch asked excitedly, baring his teeth.

“Sadly, not this time. You’ll need to kidnap a couple of orcs from Lake-town. For… an experiment,” Alex added as he lit a cigarette.

“We don’t kidnap orcs. We kill them,” GIR grumbled, already turning as if to leave.

All three of them expressed their deep disappointment in perfect sync — instead of purging filthy orcs in holy fire, they had to… kidnap them. Alex’s eye twitched as the trio began to silently walk away without even waiting to hear the rest of the instructions.

Massaging the bridge of his nose, Alex sighed heavily, suppressing the urge to boot each one of them out the gate. The girls standing nearby could barely contain their laughter, watching the “chaos trio” trying to flee the assignment.

“It’s not for me. It’s for your moms,” Alex said calmly, watching them walk away. “They’re the ones who want you to bring back a few orcs.”

GIR, MIMI, and Stitch froze mid-step. Slowly, they turned and looked at Rekka, White, and Red. The three women nodded in confirmation.

The trio huddled into a tight circle for an emergency conference. A fierce debate began—accept the mission or proudly refuse. Alex and the girls listened to the ongoing “military council,” where the same arguments were repeated on loop:

“Orcs aren’t for kidnapping. They’re for killing.”

“But Papa gave the order…”

“Can we at least blow something up?”

GIR stood firm—he believed orcs didn’t deserve to live. MIMI insisted they follow Daddy’s orders. Stitch… was only thinking about explosions.

Several tense minutes passed before they finally reached a decision.

Alex sighed deeply, already regretting not doing it himself. He could’ve grabbed two orcs and been back by now.

“Alright, listen carefully. It’s simple. Infiltrate occupied Lake-town, grab a couple of orcs, throw them in a sack. If they resist—hit them with a stick. But it all has to be quiet, no noise. Do this right, and tomorrow you’ll get to go wild,” Alex said once he saw they’d finally accepted the mission.

GIR kept grumbling, MIMI nodded enthusiastically, and inside Stitch’s mind, fireworks were already going off—even though no one had even mentioned the word “explosion.”

They changed into ninja outfits and solemnly formed hand signs. Alex ran a hand down his face and opened a portal right next to Lake-town.

Without hesitation, the trio jumped into it… and immediately crashed into a lake with a loud splash. The portal had opened directly above the water.

A second later, angry voices echoed from the lake:

“What kind of delivery is THIS?!”

“My suit’s soaked, I’m all wet now!”

“We’re giving you one star!”

Listening to the complaints through the open portal, Alex immediately closed it so he wouldn’t have to hear the trio grumbling after falling into the lake.

“Are you sure they’ll be able to hold back and not slaughter all the orcs in the city?” Rekka asked doubtfully, watching the portal close.

“After your question… I’m not so sure anymore,” Alex replied, lighting a cigarette. “But let’s hope.”

“According to my calculations,” Red interrupted, “the probability that GIR, MIMI, and Stitch will complete the mission within the set parameters is less than 10%. The probability that they will start an orc genocide upon discovery is about 50%. And the chance they’ll set the whole city on fire in the process is around 40%.”

“Well, ten percent is progress. I thought it would be less than one,” Alex smirked, trying to stay positive.

Rekka, Syr, Ryu, and Riveria looked at him with expressions that clearly said: You still have hope?

Deciding to personally make sure the trio wouldn’t cause an apocalypse, Alex used a combined projection and tracking spell. He leaned on the stone parapet, and soon a magical projection appeared above him.

The girls sat down nearby, ready to watch the show “Mission: Chaos.”

The projection activated just as GIR, MIMI, and Stitch were swimming across the lake, loudly cursing Alex. MIMI was complaining about her costume being soaked through, Stitch was grumbling about explosions, and GIR was swearing he’d write an angry review.

The girls gave Alex equally blank looks.

“What? They needed to infiltrate the city quietly. The quietest route is by water,” Alex defended, shrugging.

“Nope,” the girls answered in unison, shaking their heads.

Alex just shrugged, not even trying to guess what they were thinking.

At that moment, GIR, MIMI, and Stitch finally reached Lake-town. Slowly approaching the dock, the trio looked around carefully, trying not to be seen. Instead of climbing onto the pier, they decided to swim under it—for maximum stealth.

Once beneath the buildings, the trio listened for orc voices, hoping to find one who was alone. After swimming a bit, they stopped under a house where a solitary orc was rummaging upstairs. GIR, MIMI, and Stitch exchanged glances—a mischievous spark lit their eyes. After all, Alex asked for live orcs… but never said anything about keeping them whole.

Taking turns climbing up a beam to the wooden floor, they looked around again—no one nearby. Making sure the house contained only one orc, GIR carefully opened the door. The trio silently slipped inside like true ninjas.

The orc was on the second floor, fully absorbed in his business. None of them made a sound as they climbed the creaky wooden stairs. Peeking over the railing, they saw him standing with his back turned. GIR and MIMI pulled out iron clubs, and Stitch took out a sack.

Everything happened in a flash. Stitch darted forward, pulling the sack over the orc’s head. GIR struck his knee with full force — the broken leg cracked and gave way. The orc collapsed to the floor, and MIMI, wasting no time, hit him in the face with her club, silencing any chance of a scream. Stitch, unwilling to stay on the sidelines, pulled out his collapsible club and enthusiastically joined the beating. Heavy blows thudded dully throughout the second floor.

“You know, I’m not surprised at all,” Alex said, exhaling smoke upward as he watched the projection.

“With such coordination, it’s no wonder,” Rekka agreed, leaning on his shoulder.

“I even felt a little sorry for the orc… just a little,” Syr remarked thoughtfully, gazing at the image.

“Only if he was the victim of this trio,” Riveria commented, shaking her head.

“Efficient,” Red nodded succinctly.

“The target made no sound and was neutralized with maximum efficiency,” White added.

Alex glanced at Red and White. They still didn’t fully grasp human morality — they were more guided by pragmatism and results. But he had no intention of changing them — that was a path each had to walk on their own.

Shifting his gaze back to the projection, Alex saw GIR, MIMI, and Stitch finishing their “processing” of the orc. The poor creature’s limbs were twisted unnaturally, and the sack over his head was already soaked with orc blood. Alex even thought that if this orc had been an NPC, he would have had no more than one percent health left.

When the trio left the house and disappeared under the water again, a portal opened beneath the mutilated orc’s body. It fell through and landed on the stone floor of Erebor — quite close to Alex and the girls. Alex cast a sleeping spell on him so he wouldn’t wake prematurely. The girls just shook their heads — the cruelty of GIR, MIMI, and Stitch no longer surprised anyone.

Meanwhile, the trio continued searching for the second target. Since Alex hadn’t complained about the state of the first orc, they decided their actions were within acceptable limits.

Swimming under the wooden floorboards, GIR, MIMI, and Stitch spotted an orc standing alone at the edge of the platform. Coordinating their moves, GIR and MIMI climbed the beams and sneaked up from behind, while Stitch began crawling underneath the orc, clawing onto the wood.

Once in position, GIR and MIMI suddenly yanked the orc’s legs — he lost his balance and fell face-first, hanging on the edge of the platform. Stitch didn’t hesitate: he grabbed the orc’s head and slammed his forehead against it with full force. The orc instantly lost consciousness, and Stitch dragged him down — into the water.

However, the trio forgot one important thing: orcs can’t swim. Literally a couple of seconds later, the orc’s body floated back up, belly up like a dead fish. The three exchanged glances and simultaneously slapped their foreheads.

“We better drown him, or they’ll notice,” GIR grumbled, poking the body with a stick.

“Or at least shove him under the platform so he doesn’t catch anyone’s eye,” MIMI added, taking the stick from him.

MIMI hooked the body of the drowned orc with a wooden stick and pushed it under the platform so it would drift beneath the city built on water. Once the traces of the crime were hidden, GIR, MIMI, and Stitch decided not to jump back into the water but to sneak through the city streets instead.

Meanwhile, Alex and the girls continued watching this comical attempt on the orc’s life and couldn’t hold back their laughter — especially when the entire trio simultaneously smacked their foreheads.

Inspired by a game about a spy who loved hiding in cardboard boxes, GIR, MIMI, and Stitch decided to hide inside empty barrels and sneak around by moving inside them. Alex and the girls could no longer contain themselves — laughter echoed through the hall as the trio waddled along, pretending to be “walking barrels” while trying to avoid orc patrols. Alex even thought their adventures could be turned into a separate comedy series.

Meanwhile, without stopping their charade, the trio found their next target. Climbing out of their barrels, they slowly crept up to an unsuspecting orc. Stitch skillfully jumped and grabbed the orc’s head, dunking his face into a nearby basin of water. At the same moment, GIR and MIMI jumped up and quickly broke the orc’s legs and then his arms with their clubs, giving him no chance to resist. Within seconds, the orc lost consciousness from lack of oxygen.

Stitch released his head, and the body limply fell to the floor, looking like a man standing with one foot in the afterlife. When GIR, MIMI, and Stitch left, a magical circle flared beneath the orc — he vanished and reappeared in Erebor.

Now the trio set off to find their third target. But it wasn’t so simple — most orcs moved in groups, and finding a lone one was difficult. Gradually, GIR, MIMI, and Stitch’s patience began to wear thin.

Eventually, unable to bear it, they decided to attack a patrol to catch that one orc who would be “lucky” enough to survive. Hiding in barrels passed by orcs, the trio exchanged glances and nodded at each other.

When the patrol walked by, they jumped out of hiding and began the chase. Overtaking the orcs and hiding in the nearest house, they prepared an ambush. Stitch slightly opened the door to attract attention. One of the orcs, suspecting something was wrong, entered first — and immediately got hit on the head with a brick. With a crash, he fell onto the wooden floor.

The noise attracted the rest, and the patrol rushed into the house, thinking someone had survived. But they didn’t know the main rule: if a house looks suspicious, don’t be the first to enter.

The first one who stepped over the threshold instantly got hit in the face with a board with a protruding nail, which instantly pierced his skull. The others were met by GIR and MIMI wielding frying pans and ladles. With precise blows, they smashed the remaining orcs’ heads.

Only one remained — the “lucky” one. He tried to give a signal, but at that moment, a sack was pulled over his head, and he was dragged inside. Inside, dull thuds rang out — blunt objects met orc flesh again.

A second later, magical light flared inside the house. The bodies of the slain orcs turned to ash, and GIR, MIMI, Stitch, and their “guest” vanished as if nothing had happened.

The entire orc-capturing operation took less than thirty minutes, but those thirty minutes brought Alex and the girls plenty of fun.

To be continued…

Source: Webnovel.com, updated by NovelKeep