Chapter 38: Chapter Thirty Seven – Renn – Kindness. Worthlessness.

Watching Lomi from above, I wondered if she really hadn’t known any of these people before coming here.

She was playing with two other children. A boy and a girl… The boy’s name was Horn, but I wasn’t sure which sister the other was. Yelma or Pelka.

All three were laughing and playing tag, chasing each other around as if they had been family their whole lives.

How had she found a home so swiftly? They had only been here a few days before I had arrived. Less than a week. Such a short time, especially for our kind, yet here she was already a member of their family…

I was jealous. Envious.

Yet…

It wasn’t just her quick ability to be accepted, and the family’s willingness to accept her so easily… but something deeper.

Why hadn’t…

Why hadn’t my family been like this?

“Miss Renn.”

My ears perked up, and I turned to look at who had addressed me.

Standing near the gate next to the house, a short and somewhat pudgy man bowed his head lightly. Greeting me as if I was some great lord or noble.

He looked ridiculous… and not because of his stature or appearance.

Why did he bow?

“Madam Trixalla would like to speak with you,” he said calmly.

I blinked and realized that was probably the only real reason he’d come search me out.

“I’ll be right down,” I said, and turned to head back into the house. To head downstairs.

Although there were no humans around currently, I wasn’t foolish enough to just start jumping off balconies. Especially not here. More so because of all the little animals everywhere.

Last thing I needed was to land on a cat. Lomi and the rest wouldn’t like me anymore if I did that.

Hurrying downstairs, I found Montclair waiting for me at the gate. He smiled and nodded, gesturing for me to follow him.

“Thank you Montclair,” I said to him, as he went to opening the gate for me.

He also closed it behind us, and I felt a little silly.

He acted like a servant.

Yet he wasn’t… was he? He was like us. Lomi had told me he was a squirrel, but why would that place him below us?

“This way,” he said, and hurried towards the red-roofed building across the large gravel road.

I followed him dutifully, and wondered why I was being summoned.

Hopefully they weren’t going to banish me too…

The house that the snakes, and Montclair, lived in was large. The red roof was bright amongst the golden sea of wheat… and although the building had only one floor, it was nearly four times as large as Lomi’s new home.

Vim and I were staying here as well, even though Lomi had invited me to stay with her in her new room. Although I felt bad about turning her down, Vim had made it very clear I was to not stay with them.

Hopefully it was simply because he wanted to give Lomi the chance to find her own place in the family, and not because he no longer trusted me with her.

Hopefully.

The sad thought hurt as I followed Montclair into the house, and down a hallway.

There was a smell of food that permeated the house. It smelled good, and made me a little hungry, but there was another scent that seemed soaked into the wood and stone.

A scent of something burnt. As if not too long ago there had been a fire.

Yet none of the house looked destroyed, or burnt… and I wasn’t able to really smell it entirely… it was just a scent I could smell every so often. It smelled stronger, and more dangerous, than the scent a simple fireplace gave.

Maybe there was some kind of fire-pit inside the house somewhere?

“Madam Trixalla, I’ve brought her,” Montclair knocked on a large white door, which looked newly painted not too long ago.

“Come in,” A kind voice greeted us, and Montclair opened the door.

He stood back, letting me enter first.

The room was not too small, and looked to be something of a study. There were shelves, and books, and a desk…

Surprisingly Montclair closed the door behind me, and had not entered with me.

An old woman sat behind the small desk. One that looked a little cramped, thanks to all the papers and books upon it.

The sight reminded me of Windle’s desk. It too had been cluttered.

“Please sit Renn. Hopefully you weren’t busy, I told Montclair to wait in his summons until you were free but knowing him he didn’t,” Trixalla gestured to a large cushioned chair across from her desk as she greeted me.

There was another chair before her desk, but it wasn’t the one she gestured at… plus it didn’t have a cushion. It looked uncomfortable compared to the other.

“I wasn’t busy,” I said.

I had spent most the morning talking to Porka, but she and her husband had to do something with Vim… so I had just been watching Lomi and the kids play.

Right before sitting in the chair, I realized it was probably okay to not have to hide my ears and tail. Taking my hat off, I also pulled aside my pants enough to let my tail out. I stretched it, and wished I could find a pair of pants that had a little hole or slip for it as I did.

I couldn’t wear such a thing of course, even though it was possible to make it… because any human who saw it would simply wonder what it was. And maybe, at the wrong moment or angle, they’d see the tail beneath my pants while staring at the odd hole.

“I wanted to talk to you before Vim returned,” Trixalla said as I sat and got comfortable.

“Oh…?” that didn’t sound too good.

“Don’t worry. I simply wanted to invite you to live here,” she said.

For a small moment I hadn’t believed what I heard.

Then I realized she was serious.

“Really?” I asked softly.

She nodded. “Really. You can live here, with us, we can even eventually build you your own home too,” Trixalla said.

For a small moment, my mind was full of memories.

Ones not made yet. Ones not real.

Memories of watching wheat fields come and go over the decades. Memories of getting to watch Lomi grow up. Of getting to watch all the children here grow up. Of getting to make a home for myself, a real one… and…

They were lovely beyond imagine.

But just as quickly as the memories were created so too did they disappear.

“Thank you,” I said softly.

Trixalla’s expression went from a gentle smile, to a sad one.

“Yet you’re going to say no, aren’t you?” She asked, just as softly.

Although hard to do so, I shook my head. “No… not yet. I… can I have time? To decide?” I asked.

“Of course you can. Vim will be negotiating for us here in a few days. After that you two are going to go back to Ruvindale. You’ll be able to come back if you wish, so you have plenty of time to decide,” she said.

Wait… “Going back?” I asked.

She nodded.

“Me too?” I asked further.

She nodded again.

“I was banished,” I whispered.

“From the Sleepy Artist. Not from Ruvindale,” she said.

My eyes blurred, and I wondered if I’d be able go back to that town. Granted I hadn’t been there long, and hadn’t really… known it well… but…

“Vim will require you to. It’s part of the process,” she said.

“I see,” I said.

I hadn’t known. But maybe that was for the best.

“Beyond that I just wanted you to know that it will be alright for you to stay here. For as long as you wished,” she said.

“Thank you. Really,” I said softly.

She nodded, and I could tell she was not just firm in her decision but… actually meant it.

Trixalla wanted me to stay as if we were friends. Yet I had only spoken to her a few short times so far.

“I… I’m not sure what to say,” I said.

“Take your time. My husband heard most of your conversation with Vim. We know that you’re… unsure of yourself. But that is simply because of your age,” she said.

“My age…” I whispered, and wondered just how old she was. After all, I wasn’t that young either. Yet she acted… and looked, far older than I.

“You’re not as young as Lomi, and may even be older than Porka… but not much more than that, I’m sure. To me you’re still just a child,” she said gently.

“I see.”

“What did Lilly think of you?” she asked.

“She wanted me to go to the Cathedral,” I said. Wherever that was.

“Of course she did,” Trixalla said with a sigh.

Judging by the tone of that sigh, and the rolling of her eyes… Trixalla had not agreed at all with Lilly’s idea.

“What is it? This Cathedral?” I asked.

“It’s the birthplace of our Society,” she said.

I perked up at that, and wondered if that meant that was where most of us were.

“It’s also the strongest church in the world,” she added.

“Wait… church?” I asked. Did that mean we had a religion?

“The very church that hunts our kind,” she nodded.

Frowning, I was about to ask more but the door opened.

I stood as the old man entered. His white eyes stared at the floor, but his smile greeted his wife.

“Sit, young cat. I need no help in my own nest,” Mork said, albeit gently.

“Oh… um…” I slowly sat back down, and watched as he indeed closed the door and went to walking about the room as if he could see.

“Don’t be mean to her,” Trixalla said plainly.

“I wasn’t,” he said with a huff as he sat in the chair across from me. The one that wasn’t as comfortable looking.

A part of me worried about not letting him take the more comfortable chair, especially since he looked so elderly that he could collapse at any moment, but I knew better than to voice my worries after being told not to.

He had already chastised me about being too conscious of him. It’d be rude to keep doing so.

“Why are you bothering us?” Trixalla asked her husband.

Although her tone sounded harsh… her smile told me that she didn’t mean it.

“Came to make sure you didn’t tell her anything important. Vim made it very clear where she stands,” he said.

My heart fell, and I did my best to not let my eyes get too watery.

“Don’t panic, Renn. Vim only said that he has to confirm first, before anything else,” Trixalla said, most likely noticing my emotions. They were probably well written on my face, and especially so on my ears.

“Hm. Yes. You need not let your heart break so quickly. It’s simple rules, nothing more,” Mork said.

“I see,” I said, and hated how sad my voice sounded. Why did my voice sound so… weak and sad lately? How long was this going to last?

“She sees, she says,” Mork said with a chuckle.

Worried I insulted him; it was Trixalla who waved my concerns down. “He’s teasing you.”

“That being said, I must ask… Why did you risk coming to Vim? Why not simply give those letters to Lilly and Windle?” Mork asked.

“Give them the letters?” I asked, wondering what he meant.

“He’s wondering why you risked your life like that,” Trixalla said.

“Oh… Well…” I shifted in my seat, feeling out of place.

“Or did you not realize how likely it was he could have killed you?” Mork asked.

“I… I knew it was dangerous. Lilly told me he might slay me on sight,” I said. In fact that was the reason I most suspected Lilly had left for.

She hadn’t wanted to see me die.

“Yet you still came yourself,” Mork said.

I nodded.

“Good. At least you have a spine,” Mork said.

Did I? I spent most of last night crying in bed… Though I wasn’t sure how many tears were from relief, and how many were from shame.

“Speaking of Vim, where did he go?” Mork asked.

“He took Pelka out to hunt,” Trixalla said.

Blinking at that, I wondered why she had said that so oddly. She spoke as if she was perplexed.

“Hunt? Really… I’m surprised he agreed to it,” Mork said.

“What’s wrong with hunting?” I asked.

The two were silent for a moment, and then the blind man smiled and chuckled. “It’s not the hunting, but the one who’s teaching her how to do it.”

“Oh… Does Vim not usually do that or something?” I asked.

“Vim does whatever Vim wants to do,” Trixalla said.

“Until he doesn’t,” Mork added.

I sighed, since it seemed they were just like the rest of the Society.

Speaking in riddles when it came to Vim.

“It’s not the hunting, but the reason for it. Pelka wants to learn how to self-sustain, so she can leave on her own. Out into the world,” Mork said.

“Oh… wait… that young girl?” I asked. She must mean the other sister, the one that was missing. She had only been a little taller than Lomi.

Trixalla nodded. “Indeed.”

“So… Vim’s okay with that then?” I asked. He was teaching her, after all.

“Vim believes in free will,” Trixalla said.

Ah. So he thinks that everyone had a right to choose what they want to do. Even if what they wanted, was a little… unwise.

That explained his willingness to let me stay at the Sleepy Artist. It had seemed a little odd how easily he had given up.

“What’s her mother think of that?” I asked.

“Don’t get her started on it,” Mork said with a sigh.

Seemed it was a touchy issue.

“She has already lost a daughter to the call of adventure. So be gentle with her when she acts out because of it,” Trixalla said.

I blinked a little, and thought of the pretty woman I had spent time with this morning.

She’s already lost children? Maybe that was why she was so willing to accept Lomi.

“I see,” I said gently.

The three of us sat in silence for a moment, and I wondered where their children were. Surely they had some over the years? They supposedly had been together for a very long time. And were far older than me.

To be honest, the idea of living with a partner for that long and not having at least a few children was…

I decided to stop thinking about it, since the very reason there were none was obvious, and instead chose to think about the present.

“Can… Can I ask a personal question?” I asked carefully.

“Ask away,” Trixalla said.

“Are you two older than Vim?” I asked.

Trixalla blinked, and Mork let loose a tiny snort of a laugh.

“Sorry,” I quickly apologized, and looked away. For some reason I suddenly felt very out of place.

“We aren’t. In fact Vim was there to witness my birth,” Trixalla said.

Mork nodded with a huge happy smile. “I joined the Society later in life, but yes. Vim’s older than I as well,” he said.

“Then… Then why…?” I started to ask, but found the two staring at me with sudden looks of…

Was that pity?

It was.

“We don’t know. We’re old. I won’t bother telling you how old I am, there’s no point. But we are old. Old enough to remember when this had once been a giant lake,” she said.

Giant lake? Did she mean here?

“Vim’s old beyond reason. There aren’t many older than him,” Mork said.

“Why doesn’t he look it then?” I asked. He looked like any man. Maybe not a young man, but definitely not an old one.

“If we knew, do you think our bodies would be as old as they are now? To be honest even Vim probably doesn’t know,” Trixalla said.

“He doesn’t. But even if he did he’d not tell us. He doesn’t think like that,” Mork said.

“He doesn’t, does he? He could be sitting on the cure for age and he’d not share it!” Trixalla nodded in agreement, as if she too found it ridiculous.

“Hm,” I nodded in agreement. I didn’t know Vim anywhere near as well as them, but I could see that happening.

“Why do you ask?” Trixalla then asked.

My tail, which had been dangling next to my thigh, suddenly went stiff.

“Uh…” I wasn’t sure what to say. I didn’t really have a reason. It just came to me, because I was trying to distract myself from wondering about their lack of children.

“Her heartbeat just tripled,” Mork said.

“Shush,” I said, right as Trixalla did.

She glanced at me, and I smiled as she laughed.

They were good people. So were Lomi’s new family.

Lilly and Windle had been great as well. I had even found Windle’s… cowardliness to be a little comforting, for some reason.

Lughes and the rest were amazing people too.

So far all the members of our society I’ve met have been… if a little odd, genuinely good people.

Even Vim. For as much as he made me feel out of place sometimes, he’s really not done anything rude to me.

Amber had been wonderful too.

And yet… all I had done was cause them grief and sorrow.

Although I had not killed Amber, or got her killed, I had still caused discord. I had still caused issues.

I had been given nothing but kindness and welcome, and returned it by yelling at them and endangering them.

Such a fact made me feel worthless and small.

“Vim acts old all the time, though,” Mork then said.

“Stubborn,” Trixalla said with a nod, agreeing with her husband.

Smiling at them as they went to complaining, in a nice way, about Vim… I did my best to not break down and cry.

I hadn’t expected to be allowed to feel… included, anymore. I had expected, even if forgiven and allowed to live, to be an outcaste. To be banished not just from the Sleepy Artist, but the Society as a whole.

For me to not only still be alive but to still be seen as a member… as family…

I’ll need to spend my whole life to earn this. To pay them all back, Vim especially, for their love and kindness.

Hopefully… I’d find a way to do so.

Or at least live long enough to figure out how.

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