We were on a familiar path… though it was one I’d only ever been on once before.

Following Vim through thick undergrowth, I tried not to let my thoughts worm their way onto my tail or face. I knew if I let them do so, Vim would notice… and then he’d either tease me over them, or do something worse.

Ignore them completely.

“I’ve been wracking my brain, but I can’t remember,” Vim said as he trail blazed a path for me. We were heading through thick underbrush, the kind that even I struggled to walk through without snagging and ripping clothes. Vim though didn’t care; he just walked straight through the stuff… breaking bushes and tree limbs without worry as he did. I followed in his wake of destruction, before the greenery had a chance to reform and close back up… as it seemingly did after a few minutes of Vim walking through it. It was that thick, where even he doing such damage was quickly brushed off.

“Has your memory been off lately, Vim…? You’ve been forgetting stuff lately,” I asked.

“Like what…?” he asked with a small glance behind me.

Oh, I don’t know. Your promise to try again, maybe…? “People’s names, mostly,” I said simply.

“Hm… I assume you mean your recent comments about those like Rivonne or the other humans,” he said.

“Well… yeah. You’ve always been somewhat forgetful of such people, but usually it’s not so blatant and quick. You forgetting a simple name months or years later is one thing, but hours?” I said. I had heard him talk to Rivonne, hear her tell him of one of the owners of a restaurant in SilverCreek she had been recommending… and not even an hour later he had invited me to go eat at it but had forgotten the name of the owner. It had made me laugh, but it was starting to get concerning. He never outright forgot names of our own members, even the human ones such as Liora or something, but it wouldn’t shock me if he suddenly started doing so at this rate.

“My mind’s been distracted lately, I’ll admit…” Vim said lightly as he returned his focus ahead of him.

I frowned at him, and went ahead and glared at his back as he pushed aside a large branch. That was in our way. It was hanging low, burdened by huge leaves, and he held it up for me so I could easily walk under it as well. “I mean… I get it, but still. You’re usually a bit more alert than that,” I said.

“I try to be,” he said.

“Do you forget god’s names too?” I asked. He sometimes had to pause and consider them, but I was never sure if it was because he actually was struggling to remember them or if it was because he simply didn’t want to talk about them and was instead trying to figure out how to not do so. As if he was searching for a method to change topics, instead of simply foraging his memories for names and stuff.

“Well… to a point. If you asked me to name each and every god I’ve encountered, or killed… yeah, I’d not be able to do that. Not a chance,” he said.

“Killed that many have you?”

Vim simply shrugged as he returned to walking ahead of me, as to once again push aside bushes and stuff for me.

I kept pace behind him, as to benefit from his trail blazing as much as possible… as we headed deeper and deeper into the thick forest. In search of his little cave of crystals.

From memory I could remember this area, though not this direct path. And if I remembered correctly, we were likely not far from it. A few hours away at most.

I wasn’t… sure what I was going to say or do once we got there. Vim planned to just deposit a few things, and pick up other things, while there… but…

I mean…

Should I try…?

If I had known he was going to bring us this way I would have brought some candles or something…

“Honestly I probably can remember more than I want to admit… I recalled Stance and Havoc, their names at least, pretty quickly… but I actually struggled to remember some of the finer details, such as their abilities and the times I’d encountered them or fought them before. Though if that was because of my bad memory or because I was enraged and unable to think straight, I can’t say,” Vim said, continuing the conversation.

I narrowed my eyes as I ducked under another lower hanging branch. It hadn’t been so bad though that Vim had needed to move it for me.

This conversation was actually important. Especially since it was so rare that Vim was willing to talk about such stuff so openly with me… but gosh, I was having a hard time concentrating on it.

All I could think about was the cavern we were about to reach…

“Would it… be okay if I asked why you killed so many of them, Vim…?” I dared to ask.

“Yes. But not today,” Vim answered calmly, as if I’d just asked how far away we were from his cavern.

My stomach felt a bit odd, squirming a bit, as I groaned and nodded. “Okay… how about, instead, what I should know about this god who has an interest in me…? Tor’s god?” I asked, changing topics.

Vim was quiet for a moment, but then spoke up. “It’s likely one of Havoc’s companions. If it’s someone who’s abilities focus on illusions, they’re one of the weaker ones. Still a god though, so not to be underestimated. Them being weaker would explain why they’d never dared to even meet Tor, even after hundreds of years of speaking with him and giving him orders. They hadn’t dared to get too near me, and risk encountering me or me noticing them,” he said.

“Doesn’t help me much, Vim,” I said.

“Right… basically they’ll be humanoid. I’d dare say they’d likely look human entirely, but it’s possible they might have a few non-human traits. As I’ve said, a few of them had changed their appearances for whatever reason. A few even did so outlandishly, such as Stance becoming different colors on purpose,” he explained.

Different colors… Vim had mentioned that once. That Stance had red and blue hair or something. Wonder what that had looked like, it must have been striking for Vim to call it odd as he did. “Would… stabbing them with your spear do anything?” I asked.

Vim was carrying it right now, since I’d get it stuck on stuff as I walked.

“Actually yes. To a degree. It wouldn’t likely kill them, from a blow dealt by you, but it’d do enough damage to hurt them. Maybe even enough to make them back off if you pestered them with it,” he said.

That was… surprising to hear. “Not very god-like then, are they?”

Vim chuckled. “Right?”

I smiled at his laughter, since I enjoyed hearing it… and it told me our conversation could keep going. Every question I asked I dared ruining the moment, as I had likely almost done earlier by asking why he had killed so many of them.

Wonder why he was in such a good mood…? I’d, excitedly, say it was because of where we were going and whatnot… but the truth of the matter was ever since he had killed Tor Vim had been in an upbeat mood. He had been itching to leave Tor’s Canyon, but had not been doing so out of anger or annoyance. He had simply desired to get on the road as to move on to the next task at hand.

Maybe Vim really did feel better after killing, or slaying as he called it, gods and their creations…?

If so then maybe I should just let him go around killing them all. Rather him be in a good mood than not, plus it’d let him relax and not to mention make the world a safer place… at least for me.

I honestly wasn’t sure still what to think of a god, or many gods, being interested in me. I, like Vim, simply assumed it was just because of his affection for me. And as such, they’d likely show up one day to kill me just to spite or hopefully hurt him… but in reality any enemy would do that. Gods or no.

Vim was too… dangerous. Too deadly. Too unfair. He could regenerate. Was strong beyond belief or understanding. And had more experience in battle, or wars, than likely anything alive… there just wasn’t an even playing field when dealing with him. And as such any enemy, god or no, would likely focus their efforts on either myself or the Society. So it was not too shocking to know that such enemies were doing so.

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But I knew that if I said such a thing Vim would give me an odd look… but I mean… what else was I supposed to do…?

It wasn’t as if I really even understood what a god even was. Or why they were what they were, or what they were capable of… or anything else, really.

Plus I had far more important things to worry about.

Like consummating our relationship… and the very obvious opportunity that was about to land on my lap here in a short moment…

“In your case Renn… it’s best to just imagine a god as you know them. All-powerful beings capable of nearly anything and everything,” Vim then said, completely oblivious to my real focus.

I frowned at that. “You keep saying they’re not real gods though,” I said.

“Because they’re not. Yet… I’ll not lie to you. They’re fully capable of acting the part.”

Great. “So how do you fight such things, Vim? Really?” I asked.

“You’ve asked that before. I’ve told you, I’ll tell you one day… just not right now.”

I was about to sigh at that, but before I could a sound drew my attention upward. I smiled up at a colorful bird perched in the tree above us, one with a huge beak, and watched it for a moment as I walked under it.

“Has a monarch ever betrayed their god?” I asked as I studied the colorful bird. It didn’t even look down at us, indifferent. I wonder what kind of noises it made when it sang or cawed, or whatever it did. I’d only heard it tapping its beak earlier.

“No. Not a direct one, at least.”

“How many… children, or generations, does it take? To break the…” I frowned as I realized I didn’t know what to call it. Connection, maybe?

“Connection with their creators? It doesn’t break until either a child without a heart is born, or a human child is born,” Vim said.

Human child… “Human as in… human, human? Or one of us?”

“One of you. I should have phrased it better, but yes basically one of you,” he said, expanding on it.

One of you.

It wasn’t often Vim spoke in such a way. Usually he included himself in such phrases and topics… yet occasionally… the truth slipped out. Without him even realizing it.

“Would I sense one? A god?” I asked.

“Yes and no. Haven’t you asked this before…?” Vim didn’t wait for my answer and continued anyway. “You’d tingle, as you do when near or touching Liora or a heart, or someone like Sap. But it’ll be… different. To me the difference is akin to the different feeling of heat and coldness. I’m not sure what it’ll feel like for you, but it will be noticeable and you will indeed notice it without being told. But it won’t be so bad that it will hurt or anything,” he said.

“Heat or coldness…?” I asked.

Vim slowed… and then turned to look at me. I stepped over to him, and watched him lift his hands up and gesture lightly as if weighing things in his hands. “A monarch makes my skin tingle as if I’m in a blizzard. As if I’m feeling a cold breeze… a god though feels hot, as if I’m lying under the blazing desert sun. Naked. While covered in cooking oil. And there’s ten suns not one, and they’re all right next to me.”

I smirked at him as I imagined such a scene. “So it hurts you, at least,” I said.

“Not really… I just meant I’d notice a god instantly, but… at the same time, not always? After all even when in the desert sun, if you’ve been in it long enough you can eventually not notice its heat… or even its brightness either,” he said.

I doubt that. That was likely only something he was capable of. “How far away can you sense a god from?” I asked him.

“That’s more of a matter of mana.” He then flinched a little, as if suddenly bit by a bug on the back of his neck. “Divinity thing, I mean. If a god is using their abilities, or spells and stuff, I’ll sense them more clearly… and occasionally even from a very far distance. Miles and miles, even. But then other times I’ll not sense a god until they’re right up upon me, about as close as you are,” he said with a point at me.

Mana… “What is mana, Vim?” I asked. He’s said that word before, but only a few times. And usually only like that, on accident.

In fact he’s only ever said it twice in front of me, as far as I was aware.

“Can’t shrug that one off this time, can I?” he asked with a sad smile.

“Of course you can Vim…” I said softly, giving him a sure enough smile back that I knew he’d believe it.

I wanted to know more. Really badly. But I also wanted him to tell me such stuff on his own. I didn’t mind giving him little pushes occasionally, but I genuinely wanted Vim to share with me out of his own desire to… not because the moment simply called for it. I wanted to be his friend, his lover… and most importantly someone he trusted completely. And I’d not become those things until he was willing to share such secrets without any hesitation.

It’d take years. Hundreds, likely. But I knew I’d get there… and I was okay with waiting. It was one of many things I expected to take a lot of time, and I actually looked forward to enjoying the slow progress.

Though hopefully I’d not be waiting that long for children, too…

Vim though didn’t seem to agree… he sighed as he nodded and went to rubbing his nose, as if it was runny. But of course it wasn’t… I don’t think I’d ever seen Vim sick, on any level. Not even a runny nose.

“Mana is what they call divinity. And… what I was taught to call it too. By my parents,” Vim then answered, without missing a beat.

I perked up, and tried to not let my tail squirm too much. I felt it wrap around some kind of thick stick, a bush of some kind, and I kept it there for a moment as I nodded… and watched Vim cross his arms and sigh again.

“It’s their power. Or at least, the source of their power. In all truth, Renn, it’s quite literally magic. Beyond the realm of normalcy. It breaks reason and all laws of physics. The reason however that the word has been lost to time, is of my own doing,” he started to explain.

“Your doing…?” I asked, fascinated.

He nodded. “After the first war… my first real attempt at bringing them low, I realized they had started changing tactics. They had started to… hide. Not just themselves, but… everything they did. Their worlds, their armies, their cities and stuff. Basically they realized they couldn’t face me openly and so switched tactics as to fight me on a different field. One of subterfuge and with schemes, not pure power or force,” he said.

I slowly nodded, transfixed as Vim then gestured at me. “I realized then, after a few instances of betrayals and stuff… that I needed to start… adapting as well. Just as they did. One of the first things I did was change terms and vocabulary to describe them and their powers. For instance back then they had not been called gods, not just by me but by anyone.”

“What had they been called?” I asked.

Vim shook his head. “Just a different title. Anyway, mana is one of those things. You see, the only beings capable of using mana are gods or their creations… basically only people with connections to mana and the source of it. Divinity,” he said.

I slowly nodded. “But why would changing the name of it matter, Vim? Mana, divinity…” I shrugged as I said them; to me it made no difference. Other than one had religious undertones to it.

“Two main reasons. First off, it allowed me to weed out the spies. If someone appeared before me, using words only the gods knew but no one else did… then…” he gently waved at me to finish for him, so I did.

“Then you knew they were connected to the gods. No matter the way or severity, they at least were connected to them,” I said, understanding.

He nodded. “Exactly. The second reason was more nefarious… and honestly kind of backfired on me. I had intentionally tried to plant the seeds of faith in the people back then, for the gods themselves. So calling it divinity, and thus divine miracles and such, helped that.”

I frowned at that, since it was exactly the difference I had noted… but I had not expected it in that way. “Why…?” I asked. He himself had furthered the spread of faith? Not only did he not like such religious stuff, he also hated the very idea of forcing or influencing people in such a way… that was twice the sin for him to commit with a single act!

“Back then many of the gods had gone into hiding, as I said. And I was struggling to weed them out. So my plan had been to force them into action by spurring their follies. Some would hear and see the worship, and swell with pride and what not and act on it. Others would feel disgust or indifference… but would act on it too in their own way. Basically by teaching the people back then of miracles, and who was capable of them, I was able to track down and kill many gods because of it. They revealed themselves not to me, but those who either with veneration or their doubts forced them into action. Basically a domino effect that resulted in gods doing things they usually wouldn’t do, which then allowed me to do what I could do best… which was kill them,” Vim explained.

I frowned at him, and not just because he had used a few words and phrases I didn’t completely understand.

“So… make sure not to use it, Renn. Don’t let it be learnt or spread by anyone. If you can, at least,” he asked of me.

I nodded softly… though promising to do so, I was also focused on something else. “You used normal people as bait,” I said, understanding his real meaning.

Vim blinked… and then slowly nodded. “Yes. One of my first mistakes, yes.”

Taking in a deep breath, I sighed softly at the man who had a history I still couldn’t grasp… at all, even after all this time. “That wasn’t even your worst mistake, Vim…?” I asked.

“Far from it, Renn.”

Great…

As Vim turned around, having obviously decided the conversation… at least this topic, was through and done… he returned to walking. And I returned to following.

Now though I did so without as much pip in my step… because now instead of pure joy and excitement, I now had a strange sense of dread and sorrow inside of me.

I kept wanting to learn more about Vim. His past. Yet… it felt as if the more I learned, the less I wanted to know.

And that didn’t bode well… since I knew I’d not even scratched the surface yet.

But this was my purpose. Or at least, one of them. To be his mate. His partner.

Just as he was to know every little detail about me, even all the bad stuff… I was to know all of his.

It was a kind of unfair how uneven the scales felt, at least at the moment, however…

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